I'd just like to thank Fuzzyhead for having a really cool name and also for reading this new and completely-following-the-rules version of Whose Line With the Hackers!! It took me for-ev-er to re-write this fic, so you BETTER enjoy it! =P
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%!%-ONIGIRI-%!%-NOTES-%!%
'Ello once again! Thank you all so much for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter as well! And to Kyone: I'm sorry if you don't like the guest-stars, but after this chapter I don't think I'll be having anymore anyway. I've got a scrumptious idea in mind. =3 (munch, munch) Well, I really have nothing else to say, so let's get on with it! And this time the actors are all from .hackLIMINALITY! Enjoyith! =)
Di chi Linea Con i Hackers!
(that's Whose Line With the Hackers! for those who are Italian-challenged)
Capitolo Tre: Di chi Linea? Linea Delle Frutte!
(Chapter Three: Whose Line? Fruits Line!)
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Standing in the audience, Krim (I spell it with a K, but it can also be spelled with a C, too) smiles. "'Ello, everyone! I be your new host, so. . . .wazzup!?"
. . . . .
Silence, for, sadly, there is no more audience. ;.;
"Hmmm, it seems we need a new audience. . . . This is a perfect time to bring out our guest stars!!"
The Smiling Backstage Dude then wheels out the cast of Fruits Basket (Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, Kyo, Momiji, Hatori, Hatsuharu, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, Arisa) who are gagged and tied to a secretary chair.
Ritsu said through his gag, "I'm sorry for talking through my gag and ruining its soul purpose of existence! ;.;"
The Smiling Backstage Dude untied and ungagged the cast, then returned to his backstage home.
Tohru looked at the set in awe. "Wow desu! It's so strange and 3-D desu!"
"There's two giant holes in the ceiling. . . ." Kyo mumbled.
Yuki glared at the red-head. "-.- . . .Stupid cat."
"Damn rat!!!"
"I'M SORRY!!!!! ;.;" Ritsu squeaked.
"T.T Strange. . ."
Arisa turned toward the freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki". "Hm? Vibes again, huh? What are you feeling this time?"
The freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki" looked around the place in suspicion. "T.T A dark, foreboding force will soon bring doom upon us all. . . ."
Just then, Onigiri suddenly appeared. "Did someone call me?? =33"
". . . .It's as if I've mentally drawn the Grim Reaper from a stack of Taro Cards. . ." the freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki" finished.
Onigiri smiled. "Yep! That'd be moi! =33"
"And who are you. . .exactally?" Yuki asked carefully.
The riceball-named girl put a hand onto her chest and said, "Why, I'm the LOVELY and BEAUTIFUL and OH-SO-TALENTED authoress of this WONDERFUL fic! =333"
"So in other words, you're a Mary-Sue," Ritsu piped in.
Eyes nearly popping out of her head, Onigiri gasped in shock. "NOOO!!" she screamed. "DON'T EVEN SAY SUCH A HORRIBLE WORD!!!" She then clapped her hands over her ears and screamed even louder, "LALALALALALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING!!!"
"Sorry. ;.;"
"Besides. . ." Onigiri continued. "Mary-Sues come in NEXT chapter."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!/AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DESU!!! GET US OUTTTA HERE!!!/GET US OUTTA HERE DESU!!!"
Suddenly, Spoiler-chan appeared. "Heyyy! That's my job!!" she yelled at Onigiri.
Kisa's eyes widened. "Wh-Who is that!?"
"No one I can't handle! =33" the riceball-named authoress announced, and pulled the lever, sending Spoiler-chan into the FLaMiNG PiT oF DOOM.
"WaAaAaAaAaAaAaH!!! ." the said Spoiler-chan screamed, swirling down into oblivion.
Onigiri gave a wickedly evil smile. "I never get tired of doing that! =333"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .Awkward Silence. . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Krim coughed.
"OH!" Onigiri exclaimed. "Sorry, guys- I gotta go actually start the fic. See ya!!" She then disappeared.
The FB Cast sat down on the bleachers.
"Okay!" Krim announced. "Welcome to Whose Line, everyone! We've got a great show for you tonight, but first. . . . Say "ahhhh", it's Mai!"
Mai clapped her hands over her ears in agony. "THE SOUND! MY EARS! IT BURRRRRRRNS!! ."
Akito leaned towards Shigure and whispered, "How can she be scared of a simple noise?"
"Mary-Sue."
The Sohma Head cringed and Shigure smirked.
Krim then continued, "S. I. E. G., it's Kasumi!"
Kasumi made a face. "Um, that wasn't even funny. . . ."
"An anime-version of Harry Potter, it's Makino!"
"o.0"
"And "For real!?", it's Junichiro!"
"I'm on TV?? For real!? =D"
Krim then sat down at his desk. "It's Whose Line, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Yep, that's right, the points don't matter! Just like that thing they call a "plot"!"
The FB Cast (who will now be known as ""Audience"") all arched an eyebrow. "Um. . .haha. . ./Um desu. . .haha desu?"
"-.- Okay, well, while the audience develops a sense of humor, let's start the first game, Scenes From a Hat!"
Onigiri then appeared again and screamed, "WHAT!? No way, we already used that game in the first chapter!!"
"SO!!? =)"
"So the readers will get bored and stop reading!!"
"Who cares about the damn readers!!? Muahahahahahahahahaha!!! =D" Krim cackled insanely.
The "Actors", "Audience", and Onigiri's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "HUGE GASP!!!"
"Wait!" Krim exclaimed. "I didn't say that!?"
Sanosuke from Rurouni Kenshin suddenly came running out from backstage, laughing evilly. "I DID!!" he cackled. "Muahahahahaha!! =D"
Krim's eyes widened and he pointed at Sano accusingly. "HEY!! YOU STOLE MY VOICE!!" he yelled.
"Wheee! I feel pretty! =333" Hatsuharu suddenly squealed.
Everyone's face except Haru's was exactly the same: o.0!!?
"That wasn't me either!!" the cow-possessed bish exclaimed.
Yusuke from Yuu Yuu Hakusho then came stumbling out from backstage, drunk. "Wheeeeeee!" He then began to sing: "Well, I've been workin' on the railroad all the livelong daaayyyyy! And little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet and frightened the porridge awaaayyyyy!"
Now everyone's face except YUSUKE'S was the same: o.0!!? and Haru screamed in fright, "O.O That's what I sound like when I'm drunk??"
Suddenly, Megumi and Keiko came running out from backstage in silky and very SKIMPY nightgowns. "Sano/Yusuke, are you coming back yet??" they pleaded.
"AAAAAOOOOOOOOOH!!!" Sanosuke howled like a wold. "Pant, pant, pant."
Megumi, with a naughty smile, pulled the tori-atama backstage with her by the collar of his shirt.
In a sing-song voiced, Keiko called, "Oh, Yuuuusukeeee!"
"Wow!" the spirit detective exclaimed. "When I'm drunk it really DOES look like you have a chest!"
Keiko gave the boy a death glare. "Grrrrr. . ." She then smacked Yusuke upside the head and dragged him backstage with her.
". Wheee. . ."
Onigiri just stood there for a second and blinked. "Um, okaaaaay. I'll just be going now. . ." And with that, the riceball-named girl disappeared.
"Yeeeeeaaaaah," Krim said, and mentally cursed himself for giving in to the authoress's I-ll-give-you-a-cookie-for-your-free-will tricks. "Okay," he continued. "The REAL first game today will be. . . .Questions Only!"
The "audience" stared at him with blank faces. "Um. . .what's that. . .?/Um desu. . .what's that desu. . .?"
"I was ABOUT to explain it if you would just hold your damn horses!" Krim yelled.
"0.0!!" Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, Kyo, Momij, Hatori, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, and Arisa quickly clung onto Hatsuharu.
Krim looked at them all with eyes turned to question marks: ?.?
"Well, he's the closet thing to a horse we've got!" Kagura explained.
Krim sighed. "Annnnnyway, here's how the game works: The "actors" will have to act out a scene I have written down on this nifty 'lil card, but can talk in QUESTIONS ONLY. And the scene will be. . . ." He read the nifty 'lil card. "Trying to microwave a bag of popcorn just right! This will be for Mai and Makino first, so Kasumi and Junichiro will stand until one of them messes up!"
The "actors" then took their places on the stage.
"Annnnnd begin!"
"So did you make the popcorn yet??" Mai asked.
"Can't you hear the "ahhhh" sound coming from the microwave?" Makino replied.
"THE NOISE!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! ."
Krim buzzed Mai out.
Makino made a face: o.0
Kasumi suddenly jumped in, pointed at the boy accusingly, and exclaimed, "HAH! THAT WASN'T A QUESTION!!"
Makino pointed back. "NEITHER WAS THAT!"
"FOUR-EYES!!"
"TWO-EYES!!"
"o.0"
"--.--" Krim buzzed them both out.
Mai and Junichiro then both jumped in.
"How long should I cook the popcorn for?" Junichiro asked.
"What do YOU think?" Mai replied.
"How would you feel if I told you I was thinking of all the "fun things" we could do after eating this popcorn?"
"Are you a pedophile??"
"Would you like to make me one? =)" the man asked with an evil smile.
"How can you talk like that?"
"What do YOU think?" he replied.
"Don't you already know how I feel about you?"
"Why don't you tell me again while you're naked? =)"
Mai glared. "How about not?"
Junichiro sniffled. "Why do you have to be so mean?? ;.;"
"Why do YOU have to be so perverted?" the girl growled back.
"Don't you know it's in my nature?"
Mai's eyes suddenly widened. "Did you know you're burning the popcorn!? O.O"
"Who cares?"
"Don't you know that's the whole point of the game?"
"Why do you keep answering my questions with questions?"
"Because it's- Dammit. --.--"
Krim buzzed Mai out.
Kasumi jumped in to take her place. "Can I ask you a question?" he asked.
"Isn't that what we've been doing the whole time?" Junichiro replied.
"Can't you just let me ask my question?"
"What stopping you?"
"Is that popcorn?"
"What if it is?"
The boy squinted his eyes. "Is it. . .burning?"
"Is that a problem for you?"
"Are you cooking this popcorn for Mai?" Kasumi pried.
"Why would you care?" Junichiro asked.
Kasumi now put his hands on his hips. "Don't you know she's my girlfriend?"
The man gave a naughty smile. "Yes and she's got one hell of a rack by the way. =)"
"YOU BASTARD!!" Kasumi got ready to punch Junichiro in the face. Krim's eyes widened.
BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!!
The "actors" took their seats.
Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Momiji, Hatori, Hatsuharu, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, and Arisa all made a "o.0" face. ". . .?"
"=33" Shigure clapped.
This caused the others' face to turn to "o.0!!?".
"Okaaay," Krim said. "Two thousand points to Junichiro for taking "sexual harassment" to a whole new level and. . .eh, a hundred points to the rest o' ya."
Junichiro smiled while the others "."-ed.
Krim then announced, "We'll be right back after this commercial break, so stay tuned!"
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Monsier suddenly pops up. "Hey there! Did you drop this Golden Axe? Or maybe it was this Silver one?"
Grandpa pops up right beside him. "No!? It's something else? Well, whatever weapon or armor you have lost, Spring of Myst Lost&Found Inc. will find it and return it back to you better and stronger than before!"
"Just call 1-800-BLU-BLOB and our excellent search team will start looking immediately-" Monsier was cut off by KH Sora running in, mouth foaming while holding the Keyblade high above his head.
"HEARTLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! ." The little mental patient began to run after the two blobs.
"O.O!!!" The two blobs ran for their lives.
Announcer Dude's voice boomed over the screaming and insane cackling: "Wearenotresponsibleifyourobjectistentimesweakerthanbefore,self-destructs,orattractsrabidchipmunks.Allquestionsand/orconcernsmustgotoallofthoseimportantpeoplewhoarealwayscoincidentallyoutgolphingoratalunchbreakwhenyoucallandthesamestupidbastardswhowon'teverpromotemefromthislamejobwhereallIhavetodoistalkfastaboutabsolutelynothingandpeoplecan'tunderstandmeanyway.Socall1-800-BLU-BLOB.That's1-800-258-2562.Onceagainthat's1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-258-2562.1-800-BLU-BLOB.Ihopeyou'rewritingthisdownbecauseI'monlygoingtosayfiftymoretimesthatit's1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-258-2562.1-800-BLU-BLOB."
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"Aaaaand, we're back!" Krim exclaimed. "Now it's time for the second game of today's show, Greatest Hits!"
The "audience" stared at him again. "What's THAT?/What's THAT desu?"
Krim glared and continued, "Here's how it works: Mai and Makino will be two announcers on an infomercial trying to get you to buy their Greatest Hits album and Kasumi and Junichiro will sing little bits of the songs."
Junichiro's expression: o.0!!?
Kasumi's expression: DAETH GLARE.
"Audience, give me a major tragedy the album could be about."
"Loosing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man," Kyo said, smirking at Kasumi. The said boy's DEATH GLARE then turned to the redhead.
"Okay, loosing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man it is!" Krim announced. "Well, actors, take your places on the stage and we'll begin!"
Mai and Makino bring over two chairs and sit down; Kasumi and Junichiro stand beside each other a few feet away from Mai and Makino.
"You may begin! =3"
Mai smiles. "We'll be right back to The Grunty Who Could in just a minute. But first. . ."
"We've got a GREAT offer for you, folks!" Makino exclaims.
"That's right!" the girl agrees. "For just 19.99 and a few hundred dollars more we'll give to you this special 50th anniversary edition album of the greatest losing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man songs you'll EVER hear by artists who. . .who. . ."
"Had nothing better to do! =)"
"Right. Had nothing better to do. =)"
Makino then suddenly turns to Mai. "You know, Mai, one of my favorite songs of all time is right here on this set."
Mai's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Really, Makino??"
"Why, yes! And that song just happens to be that great hit by Michael Jackson. . ."
Kasumi's eyes widened and Junichiro pushed the boy to the right, so he would have to go first.
". . . .um. . . .An Old, Perverted Man Stole My Girlfriend!" Makino finished.
Krim sweatdropped. "How original. . ."
Mistral Reincarnation than began Michael Jackson-like music. . .whatever that is. . .
Just then, Kasumi noticed he was first and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head: O.O!!?
Mistral Reincarnation gave him an annoyed look that said, "Hurry up already, dammit!".
So Kasumi began to sing as a very poor excuse for Michael Jackson:
"Well, the other day
This creep took my darling Mai away.
I think they called him Junichiro.
What a stupid name, oh yeah!"
Junichiro glared while the boy continued:
"I was just about to bring out the champagne
When just like that he swept my sweet girlfriend away, yeah.
Just like that! (snaps)
Ohhhhh, just like that! (snaps again)"
Junichiro is now about to burst out laughing.
Kasumi now attempts to do the moon walk, but trips and accidentally kicks Junichiro in the back of the ankle which sends him flying across the room and head-first into Mai's chest.
Junichiro, in a muffled voice while pushing his face further into Mai's cushiony mounds, sings:
"I'm the old perv whole stole Kasumi's girlfriend
And we lived hentai-ly every after, yay!"
Mai is shrieking while struggling to get free and Kasumi's eyes become ten times bigger than his head, his jaw dropping to the floor.
Krim then says hastily, "Um, okay, that's enough of that! Um, a thousand points to, um, whatever! Actors, please take your seats!"
The "actors" sit back down, Junichiro giving Kasumi and evil smile and Kasumi giving Junichiro a SUPREME DEATH GLARE!!! in return. The old man's eyes then become five times smaller. "Meep! o.o"
"Stay tuned to find out who the winner is after this important message!"
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Helba is importantly sitting at her desk yet again with a picture of Brittany Spears in the box at the top, right-hand corner of the screen. "Blonde pop-star sluts who marry men that had two kids with one of his girlfriends he left three weeks ago, four with a woman he used to be married to in December, one with his former boss, two with his Aunt Peggy, one with his golden retriever, five with his doctor. . .or was that his therapist? No wait, it was his dentist because he had NINE with his therapist. Wait two times four. . .no, it'd be five times six. . .OH, SCREW IT! It's tonight at eleven!!"
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Krim puts on a huge smile and exclaims, "Okay, we're back, everybody and it's time to find out WHO TODAY'S WINNER IS!!"
". . . ." The "audience" blinks.
Krim glares. "Annnyway, today's winner is. . . ."
Onigiri suddenly appears and glomps the man's unnaturally spiky head. "WAIIIIIII!!!! =33333"
Krim's glare intensifies. "What now?"
"I'm just so happy 'cause this the first time we've given the actors points AND had time to pick a winner!! =33" the riceball-named authoress squealed.
"--.-- Yippee."
"Well, go on! Tell 'em who won!! =33" the girl prodded.
"Fine. Today's winner is. . . ." He is interrupted by a huge CRASH!!! followed by the whole ceiling caving in.
Darkside Heartless then falls from the sky (AKA where the ceiling once was) and lands on his large buttocks. "Um. . .is this a bad time??" He smiles sheepishly.
Crimson (Crimson-Eyed-Angel99 (by the way, I hope it's okay that I used you in my fic)) suddenly comes running after Darkside Heartless while hitting various buttons on her controller which is still connected to her PS2, which is still connected to her TV, which is still connected to a large chunk of her wall all dragging behind her, cackling, "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE, DIE, DIEEEEE!! ."
Darkside Heartless's eyes widen. "Meep! She's back again!" He then runs somewhere backstage.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'LL GET YOU THIS TIME FOR SURE!!" Crimson screams, running after him.
Onigiri, Krim, the "actors", and the "audience" all make a face: o.0!!?
"Arrrgh! Just get on with it already!!" Onigiri growled.
"Okay, sheesh!" Krim growls back. "Today's winner is. . . ."
Just then, Spoiler-chan suddenly bursts out from the floor and raises a huge sword menacingly above her head. "AHAHAHAHA!! I'VE GOT YOU KNOW, YOU STUPID AUTHORESS!!" She slashes the sword aimed for Onigiri's head, but she jumps away and disappears, so Spoiler-chan accidentally decapitates Krim instead!
"X.x . . .Ow."
A Wild Mob Angry Krim Fangirls or Angry Mob of Wild Krim Fangirls then come running after Spoiler-chan with their deadly fangs and claws. "YOU HURT OUR KRIMMY-KUN, YOU EVIL WITCH!! DIEEEEE!!!!!"
"O.O!!!" Spiler-chan runs for her not-so-dear life and the Wild Mob of Angry Krim Fangirls or Angry Mob of Wild Krim Fangirls chases after her about the room.
Momiji, Hatori, Kagura, and Hiro then suddenly get right up in Onigiri's face. "Hey! How's come WE never got any lines in this fic??"
"Well, ya just did, so there!" Onigri sticks her tongue out at them.
"."
"Mou. I guess we're outta time. . ." the riceball-named girl sighed. And we never even got to find out who the winner is! Let's all have a moment of silence to-"
"THE SHOWS DONE!? WE CAN GO HOME NOW!! YEEEAAAAAAAHHH!! =DDDDD" the FB Cast cheers.
". Fine. . ." Onigiri snaps her fingers twice and the FB Cast suddenly disappears. "Well. . .see ya next time folks!"
.::.::FADE OUT::.::.
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%!%-ONIGIRI-%!%-NOTES-%!%
OH! I just realized that I didn't have a disclaimer for last chapter and still need it for this one, so. . . .I don't own Kingdom Hearts, The Legend of Zelda, Ovaltine, Fruits Basket, .hackLIMINALITY, Playstation2, or Crimson-Eyed-Angel99!! She owns herself (hopefully). Well, I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it, and remember: NEVER eat two huge pieces of caramel cake then glug down a can of Strawberry Kiwi Diet Rite 8:00 in the morning or this will be your result (points to self)! Oh and about doing a chatroom fic, I'll keep it in mind, but it probably won't come until after I finish this one (which will probably be after a few more chapters). Like I said before, I've got a SCUMPTIOUS idea!
[-Instead of having reviewers be guest-hosts, I'll use characters from different anime. Now you can't say it's interactive. HA! In your face.-]
Anyway, review, review, REVIEW! =33
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%!%-ONIGIRI-%!%-NOTES-%!%
'Ello once again! Thank you all so much for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter as well! And to Kyone: I'm sorry if you don't like the guest-stars, but after this chapter I don't think I'll be having anymore anyway. I've got a scrumptious idea in mind. =3 (munch, munch) Well, I really have nothing else to say, so let's get on with it! And this time the actors are all from .hackLIMINALITY! Enjoyith! =)
Di chi Linea Con i Hackers!
(that's Whose Line With the Hackers! for those who are Italian-challenged)
Capitolo Tre: Di chi Linea? Linea Delle Frutte!
(Chapter Three: Whose Line? Fruits Line!)
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Standing in the audience, Krim (I spell it with a K, but it can also be spelled with a C, too) smiles. "'Ello, everyone! I be your new host, so. . . .wazzup!?"
. . . . .
Silence, for, sadly, there is no more audience. ;.;
"Hmmm, it seems we need a new audience. . . . This is a perfect time to bring out our guest stars!!"
The Smiling Backstage Dude then wheels out the cast of Fruits Basket (Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, Kyo, Momiji, Hatori, Hatsuharu, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, Arisa) who are gagged and tied to a secretary chair.
Ritsu said through his gag, "I'm sorry for talking through my gag and ruining its soul purpose of existence! ;.;"
The Smiling Backstage Dude untied and ungagged the cast, then returned to his backstage home.
Tohru looked at the set in awe. "Wow desu! It's so strange and 3-D desu!"
"There's two giant holes in the ceiling. . . ." Kyo mumbled.
Yuki glared at the red-head. "-.- . . .Stupid cat."
"Damn rat!!!"
"I'M SORRY!!!!! ;.;" Ritsu squeaked.
"T.T Strange. . ."
Arisa turned toward the freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki". "Hm? Vibes again, huh? What are you feeling this time?"
The freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki" looked around the place in suspicion. "T.T A dark, foreboding force will soon bring doom upon us all. . . ."
Just then, Onigiri suddenly appeared. "Did someone call me?? =33"
". . . .It's as if I've mentally drawn the Grim Reaper from a stack of Taro Cards. . ." the freaky-always-zoned-out-and-totally-cool-Gothic-denpa who those OTHER people call "Saki" finished.
Onigiri smiled. "Yep! That'd be moi! =33"
"And who are you. . .exactally?" Yuki asked carefully.
The riceball-named girl put a hand onto her chest and said, "Why, I'm the LOVELY and BEAUTIFUL and OH-SO-TALENTED authoress of this WONDERFUL fic! =333"
"So in other words, you're a Mary-Sue," Ritsu piped in.
Eyes nearly popping out of her head, Onigiri gasped in shock. "NOOO!!" she screamed. "DON'T EVEN SAY SUCH A HORRIBLE WORD!!!" She then clapped her hands over her ears and screamed even louder, "LALALALALALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING!!!"
"Sorry. ;.;"
"Besides. . ." Onigiri continued. "Mary-Sues come in NEXT chapter."
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!/AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DESU!!! GET US OUTTTA HERE!!!/GET US OUTTA HERE DESU!!!"
Suddenly, Spoiler-chan appeared. "Heyyy! That's my job!!" she yelled at Onigiri.
Kisa's eyes widened. "Wh-Who is that!?"
"No one I can't handle! =33" the riceball-named authoress announced, and pulled the lever, sending Spoiler-chan into the FLaMiNG PiT oF DOOM.
"WaAaAaAaAaAaAaH!!! ." the said Spoiler-chan screamed, swirling down into oblivion.
Onigiri gave a wickedly evil smile. "I never get tired of doing that! =333"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .Awkward Silence. . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Krim coughed.
"OH!" Onigiri exclaimed. "Sorry, guys- I gotta go actually start the fic. See ya!!" She then disappeared.
The FB Cast sat down on the bleachers.
"Okay!" Krim announced. "Welcome to Whose Line, everyone! We've got a great show for you tonight, but first. . . . Say "ahhhh", it's Mai!"
Mai clapped her hands over her ears in agony. "THE SOUND! MY EARS! IT BURRRRRRRNS!! ."
Akito leaned towards Shigure and whispered, "How can she be scared of a simple noise?"
"Mary-Sue."
The Sohma Head cringed and Shigure smirked.
Krim then continued, "S. I. E. G., it's Kasumi!"
Kasumi made a face. "Um, that wasn't even funny. . . ."
"An anime-version of Harry Potter, it's Makino!"
"o.0"
"And "For real!?", it's Junichiro!"
"I'm on TV?? For real!? =D"
Krim then sat down at his desk. "It's Whose Line, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Yep, that's right, the points don't matter! Just like that thing they call a "plot"!"
The FB Cast (who will now be known as ""Audience"") all arched an eyebrow. "Um. . .haha. . ./Um desu. . .haha desu?"
"-.- Okay, well, while the audience develops a sense of humor, let's start the first game, Scenes From a Hat!"
Onigiri then appeared again and screamed, "WHAT!? No way, we already used that game in the first chapter!!"
"SO!!? =)"
"So the readers will get bored and stop reading!!"
"Who cares about the damn readers!!? Muahahahahahahahahaha!!! =D" Krim cackled insanely.
The "Actors", "Audience", and Onigiri's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "HUGE GASP!!!"
"Wait!" Krim exclaimed. "I didn't say that!?"
Sanosuke from Rurouni Kenshin suddenly came running out from backstage, laughing evilly. "I DID!!" he cackled. "Muahahahahaha!! =D"
Krim's eyes widened and he pointed at Sano accusingly. "HEY!! YOU STOLE MY VOICE!!" he yelled.
"Wheee! I feel pretty! =333" Hatsuharu suddenly squealed.
Everyone's face except Haru's was exactly the same: o.0!!?
"That wasn't me either!!" the cow-possessed bish exclaimed.
Yusuke from Yuu Yuu Hakusho then came stumbling out from backstage, drunk. "Wheeeeeee!" He then began to sing: "Well, I've been workin' on the railroad all the livelong daaayyyyy! And little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet and frightened the porridge awaaayyyyy!"
Now everyone's face except YUSUKE'S was the same: o.0!!? and Haru screamed in fright, "O.O That's what I sound like when I'm drunk??"
Suddenly, Megumi and Keiko came running out from backstage in silky and very SKIMPY nightgowns. "Sano/Yusuke, are you coming back yet??" they pleaded.
"AAAAAOOOOOOOOOH!!!" Sanosuke howled like a wold. "Pant, pant, pant."
Megumi, with a naughty smile, pulled the tori-atama backstage with her by the collar of his shirt.
In a sing-song voiced, Keiko called, "Oh, Yuuuusukeeee!"
"Wow!" the spirit detective exclaimed. "When I'm drunk it really DOES look like you have a chest!"
Keiko gave the boy a death glare. "Grrrrr. . ." She then smacked Yusuke upside the head and dragged him backstage with her.
". Wheee. . ."
Onigiri just stood there for a second and blinked. "Um, okaaaaay. I'll just be going now. . ." And with that, the riceball-named girl disappeared.
"Yeeeeeaaaaah," Krim said, and mentally cursed himself for giving in to the authoress's I-ll-give-you-a-cookie-for-your-free-will tricks. "Okay," he continued. "The REAL first game today will be. . . .Questions Only!"
The "audience" stared at him with blank faces. "Um. . .what's that. . .?/Um desu. . .what's that desu. . .?"
"I was ABOUT to explain it if you would just hold your damn horses!" Krim yelled.
"0.0!!" Tohru, Yuki, Shigure, Kyo, Momij, Hatori, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, and Arisa quickly clung onto Hatsuharu.
Krim looked at them all with eyes turned to question marks: ?.?
"Well, he's the closet thing to a horse we've got!" Kagura explained.
Krim sighed. "Annnnnyway, here's how the game works: The "actors" will have to act out a scene I have written down on this nifty 'lil card, but can talk in QUESTIONS ONLY. And the scene will be. . . ." He read the nifty 'lil card. "Trying to microwave a bag of popcorn just right! This will be for Mai and Makino first, so Kasumi and Junichiro will stand until one of them messes up!"
The "actors" then took their places on the stage.
"Annnnnd begin!"
"So did you make the popcorn yet??" Mai asked.
"Can't you hear the "ahhhh" sound coming from the microwave?" Makino replied.
"THE NOISE!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! ."
Krim buzzed Mai out.
Makino made a face: o.0
Kasumi suddenly jumped in, pointed at the boy accusingly, and exclaimed, "HAH! THAT WASN'T A QUESTION!!"
Makino pointed back. "NEITHER WAS THAT!"
"FOUR-EYES!!"
"TWO-EYES!!"
"o.0"
"--.--" Krim buzzed them both out.
Mai and Junichiro then both jumped in.
"How long should I cook the popcorn for?" Junichiro asked.
"What do YOU think?" Mai replied.
"How would you feel if I told you I was thinking of all the "fun things" we could do after eating this popcorn?"
"Are you a pedophile??"
"Would you like to make me one? =)" the man asked with an evil smile.
"How can you talk like that?"
"What do YOU think?" he replied.
"Don't you already know how I feel about you?"
"Why don't you tell me again while you're naked? =)"
Mai glared. "How about not?"
Junichiro sniffled. "Why do you have to be so mean?? ;.;"
"Why do YOU have to be so perverted?" the girl growled back.
"Don't you know it's in my nature?"
Mai's eyes suddenly widened. "Did you know you're burning the popcorn!? O.O"
"Who cares?"
"Don't you know that's the whole point of the game?"
"Why do you keep answering my questions with questions?"
"Because it's- Dammit. --.--"
Krim buzzed Mai out.
Kasumi jumped in to take her place. "Can I ask you a question?" he asked.
"Isn't that what we've been doing the whole time?" Junichiro replied.
"Can't you just let me ask my question?"
"What stopping you?"
"Is that popcorn?"
"What if it is?"
The boy squinted his eyes. "Is it. . .burning?"
"Is that a problem for you?"
"Are you cooking this popcorn for Mai?" Kasumi pried.
"Why would you care?" Junichiro asked.
Kasumi now put his hands on his hips. "Don't you know she's my girlfriend?"
The man gave a naughty smile. "Yes and she's got one hell of a rack by the way. =)"
"YOU BASTARD!!" Kasumi got ready to punch Junichiro in the face. Krim's eyes widened.
BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!!
The "actors" took their seats.
Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Momiji, Hatori, Hatsuharu, Ritsu, Akito, Kagura, Kisa, Hiro, Saki, and Arisa all made a "o.0" face. ". . .?"
"=33" Shigure clapped.
This caused the others' face to turn to "o.0!!?".
"Okaaay," Krim said. "Two thousand points to Junichiro for taking "sexual harassment" to a whole new level and. . .eh, a hundred points to the rest o' ya."
Junichiro smiled while the others "."-ed.
Krim then announced, "We'll be right back after this commercial break, so stay tuned!"
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Monsier suddenly pops up. "Hey there! Did you drop this Golden Axe? Or maybe it was this Silver one?"
Grandpa pops up right beside him. "No!? It's something else? Well, whatever weapon or armor you have lost, Spring of Myst Lost&Found Inc. will find it and return it back to you better and stronger than before!"
"Just call 1-800-BLU-BLOB and our excellent search team will start looking immediately-" Monsier was cut off by KH Sora running in, mouth foaming while holding the Keyblade high above his head.
"HEARTLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! ." The little mental patient began to run after the two blobs.
"O.O!!!" The two blobs ran for their lives.
Announcer Dude's voice boomed over the screaming and insane cackling: "Wearenotresponsibleifyourobjectistentimesweakerthanbefore,self-destructs,orattractsrabidchipmunks.Allquestionsand/orconcernsmustgotoallofthoseimportantpeoplewhoarealwayscoincidentallyoutgolphingoratalunchbreakwhenyoucallandthesamestupidbastardswhowon'teverpromotemefromthislamejobwhereallIhavetodoistalkfastaboutabsolutelynothingandpeoplecan'tunderstandmeanyway.Socall1-800-BLU-BLOB.That's1-800-258-2562.Onceagainthat's1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-258-2562.1-800-BLU-BLOB.Ihopeyou'rewritingthisdownbecauseI'monlygoingtosayfiftymoretimesthatit's1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-BLU-BLOB.1-800-258-2562.1-800-BLU-BLOB."
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"Aaaaand, we're back!" Krim exclaimed. "Now it's time for the second game of today's show, Greatest Hits!"
The "audience" stared at him again. "What's THAT?/What's THAT desu?"
Krim glared and continued, "Here's how it works: Mai and Makino will be two announcers on an infomercial trying to get you to buy their Greatest Hits album and Kasumi and Junichiro will sing little bits of the songs."
Junichiro's expression: o.0!!?
Kasumi's expression: DAETH GLARE.
"Audience, give me a major tragedy the album could be about."
"Loosing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man," Kyo said, smirking at Kasumi. The said boy's DEATH GLARE then turned to the redhead.
"Okay, loosing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man it is!" Krim announced. "Well, actors, take your places on the stage and we'll begin!"
Mai and Makino bring over two chairs and sit down; Kasumi and Junichiro stand beside each other a few feet away from Mai and Makino.
"You may begin! =3"
Mai smiles. "We'll be right back to The Grunty Who Could in just a minute. But first. . ."
"We've got a GREAT offer for you, folks!" Makino exclaims.
"That's right!" the girl agrees. "For just 19.99 and a few hundred dollars more we'll give to you this special 50th anniversary edition album of the greatest losing your girlfriend to an old, perverted man songs you'll EVER hear by artists who. . .who. . ."
"Had nothing better to do! =)"
"Right. Had nothing better to do. =)"
Makino then suddenly turns to Mai. "You know, Mai, one of my favorite songs of all time is right here on this set."
Mai's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Really, Makino??"
"Why, yes! And that song just happens to be that great hit by Michael Jackson. . ."
Kasumi's eyes widened and Junichiro pushed the boy to the right, so he would have to go first.
". . . .um. . . .An Old, Perverted Man Stole My Girlfriend!" Makino finished.
Krim sweatdropped. "How original. . ."
Mistral Reincarnation than began Michael Jackson-like music. . .whatever that is. . .
Just then, Kasumi noticed he was first and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head: O.O!!?
Mistral Reincarnation gave him an annoyed look that said, "Hurry up already, dammit!".
So Kasumi began to sing as a very poor excuse for Michael Jackson:
"Well, the other day
This creep took my darling Mai away.
I think they called him Junichiro.
What a stupid name, oh yeah!"
Junichiro glared while the boy continued:
"I was just about to bring out the champagne
When just like that he swept my sweet girlfriend away, yeah.
Just like that! (snaps)
Ohhhhh, just like that! (snaps again)"
Junichiro is now about to burst out laughing.
Kasumi now attempts to do the moon walk, but trips and accidentally kicks Junichiro in the back of the ankle which sends him flying across the room and head-first into Mai's chest.
Junichiro, in a muffled voice while pushing his face further into Mai's cushiony mounds, sings:
"I'm the old perv whole stole Kasumi's girlfriend
And we lived hentai-ly every after, yay!"
Mai is shrieking while struggling to get free and Kasumi's eyes become ten times bigger than his head, his jaw dropping to the floor.
Krim then says hastily, "Um, okay, that's enough of that! Um, a thousand points to, um, whatever! Actors, please take your seats!"
The "actors" sit back down, Junichiro giving Kasumi and evil smile and Kasumi giving Junichiro a SUPREME DEATH GLARE!!! in return. The old man's eyes then become five times smaller. "Meep! o.o"
"Stay tuned to find out who the winner is after this important message!"
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Helba is importantly sitting at her desk yet again with a picture of Brittany Spears in the box at the top, right-hand corner of the screen. "Blonde pop-star sluts who marry men that had two kids with one of his girlfriends he left three weeks ago, four with a woman he used to be married to in December, one with his former boss, two with his Aunt Peggy, one with his golden retriever, five with his doctor. . .or was that his therapist? No wait, it was his dentist because he had NINE with his therapist. Wait two times four. . .no, it'd be five times six. . .OH, SCREW IT! It's tonight at eleven!!"
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Krim puts on a huge smile and exclaims, "Okay, we're back, everybody and it's time to find out WHO TODAY'S WINNER IS!!"
". . . ." The "audience" blinks.
Krim glares. "Annnyway, today's winner is. . . ."
Onigiri suddenly appears and glomps the man's unnaturally spiky head. "WAIIIIIII!!!! =33333"
Krim's glare intensifies. "What now?"
"I'm just so happy 'cause this the first time we've given the actors points AND had time to pick a winner!! =33" the riceball-named authoress squealed.
"--.-- Yippee."
"Well, go on! Tell 'em who won!! =33" the girl prodded.
"Fine. Today's winner is. . . ." He is interrupted by a huge CRASH!!! followed by the whole ceiling caving in.
Darkside Heartless then falls from the sky (AKA where the ceiling once was) and lands on his large buttocks. "Um. . .is this a bad time??" He smiles sheepishly.
Crimson (Crimson-Eyed-Angel99 (by the way, I hope it's okay that I used you in my fic)) suddenly comes running after Darkside Heartless while hitting various buttons on her controller which is still connected to her PS2, which is still connected to her TV, which is still connected to a large chunk of her wall all dragging behind her, cackling, "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE, DIE, DIEEEEE!! ."
Darkside Heartless's eyes widen. "Meep! She's back again!" He then runs somewhere backstage.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I'LL GET YOU THIS TIME FOR SURE!!" Crimson screams, running after him.
Onigiri, Krim, the "actors", and the "audience" all make a face: o.0!!?
"Arrrgh! Just get on with it already!!" Onigiri growled.
"Okay, sheesh!" Krim growls back. "Today's winner is. . . ."
Just then, Spoiler-chan suddenly bursts out from the floor and raises a huge sword menacingly above her head. "AHAHAHAHA!! I'VE GOT YOU KNOW, YOU STUPID AUTHORESS!!" She slashes the sword aimed for Onigiri's head, but she jumps away and disappears, so Spoiler-chan accidentally decapitates Krim instead!
"X.x . . .Ow."
A Wild Mob Angry Krim Fangirls or Angry Mob of Wild Krim Fangirls then come running after Spoiler-chan with their deadly fangs and claws. "YOU HURT OUR KRIMMY-KUN, YOU EVIL WITCH!! DIEEEEE!!!!!"
"O.O!!!" Spiler-chan runs for her not-so-dear life and the Wild Mob of Angry Krim Fangirls or Angry Mob of Wild Krim Fangirls chases after her about the room.
Momiji, Hatori, Kagura, and Hiro then suddenly get right up in Onigiri's face. "Hey! How's come WE never got any lines in this fic??"
"Well, ya just did, so there!" Onigri sticks her tongue out at them.
"."
"Mou. I guess we're outta time. . ." the riceball-named girl sighed. And we never even got to find out who the winner is! Let's all have a moment of silence to-"
"THE SHOWS DONE!? WE CAN GO HOME NOW!! YEEEAAAAAAAHHH!! =DDDDD" the FB Cast cheers.
". Fine. . ." Onigiri snaps her fingers twice and the FB Cast suddenly disappears. "Well. . .see ya next time folks!"
.::.::FADE OUT::.::.
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%!%-ONIGIRI-%!%-NOTES-%!%
OH! I just realized that I didn't have a disclaimer for last chapter and still need it for this one, so. . . .I don't own Kingdom Hearts, The Legend of Zelda, Ovaltine, Fruits Basket, .hackLIMINALITY, Playstation2, or Crimson-Eyed-Angel99!! She owns herself (hopefully). Well, I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing it, and remember: NEVER eat two huge pieces of caramel cake then glug down a can of Strawberry Kiwi Diet Rite 8:00 in the morning or this will be your result (points to self)! Oh and about doing a chatroom fic, I'll keep it in mind, but it probably won't come until after I finish this one (which will probably be after a few more chapters). Like I said before, I've got a SCUMPTIOUS idea!
[-Instead of having reviewers be guest-hosts, I'll use characters from different anime. Now you can't say it's interactive. HA! In your face.-]
Anyway, review, review, REVIEW! =33