Thanks to everyone who reviewed - I don't have time to put a Reviewer Response right now, but you guys all know you're awesome! Happy Thankgiving, minna-san. ;3

Chapter Five - Caution: Pissed-off Authoress Ahead

An hour later at McDonald's, the gang had just finished popping all their cup lid buttons and were now in the middle of a straw wrapper fight. . . . .

"Kyaaaahh!" Mimiru yelled, shooting a wrapper straight at Tsukasa. The silver-haired Wave Master does the Matrix-dodging-thing perfectly, the straw wrapper slowly headed toward him; he slowly bending backwards and having the wrapper just barely brush across his nose. However, he never ate the red pill, so all of this is just a daydream and he suddenly wakes up, the wrapper hitting him right in the forehead.

"T.T"

Mimiru jumps up onto the table, cackling evilly. "MWAHAHAHAHA!! VICTORYYYYY!!" This causes the whole restaurant to become silent, everyone staring at her. "Eheheh." She sweatdrops and sits back down.

A waitress then comes stomping over to their table in a somehow graceful manner and puts on a pouty-scowl, hands on her curvaceous hips. "This is the third time I have had to ask you to keep your evilness to yourself. I'm afraid I'll have to take you to the manager-"

Toboe interrupts her with the squinting of his eyes. "Hey. . . You look kinda familiar. . ."

The "actors" (yes, I'm still calling them that P) all squint their eyes, too.

"He's right. . ." Subaru agrees. "That perfectly-cascading blonde hair. . ."

"Those perfectly-shaded blue eyes. . ." Sora says.

"That perfectly-flawless skin. . ." Mimiru continues.

"And that perfectly-tuned voice. . ." Tsukasa follows.

Their eyes suddenly widen in unison. "GASP!! A MARY-SUE!!"

The waitress's voice becomes low and dark as she growls, "Yes, and I will avenge what you did to my people an hour ago!"

"You know it really doesn't sound that dramatic when you say it like that. . ." Tsukasa speaks up.

The waitress turns into Mary-Sue Monster form. "RAWWWWRR!!"

"o.o Meep."

A second after, the five anime characters are running about the restaurant, the Mary-Sue Monster Waitress right at their heels.

"ONCE I CATCH YOU, YOU WILL ALL BECOME HYPNOTIZED AND TURNED INTO MARY-SUES AND GARY-STUS!!" the Mary-Sue Monster Waitress bellowed. "THEN YOU SHALL JOIN OUR MIGHTY AND PERFECT ARMY AS WE TAKE OVER EVERY LAST FIC ON AND THEN. . .THE WORLD!!!!!"

"NOOOOO!!" Toboe and the "actors" shriek in wretched agony, covering their ears in pain.

"That's worse than the picture of Krim in a speedo Sora has hanging up in his dressing room!!" Mimiru shouts out, tears streaming down her cheeks. Everyone freezes in their tracks, looking over toward the adolescent Player Killer.

He innocently stares back at them all and shrugs. "What? His six-pack is just toooo sexy! And those BUNS! You just wanna squeeze 'em!!" He wraps his arms around himself in a giddy hug with a dreamy sigh. The others all arch an eyebrow.

"Anyway. RAAAWWWWWRRR!!!!!" the Mary-Sue Monster Waitress bellowed, pounding her chest in perfect ferocity.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!" Toboe and the "actors"squeeked, the chase starting up once again.

"Quick! Out the door!" Subaru exclaimed, pointing toward their only, glassy exit. And a second later, shards of glass filled the air as a swarm of anime characters burst out. . .

"WAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"OOF!!"

"UMMPH!!"

"ITAI! ITAI!"

"AAOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?"

. . .and pummeled right into the authoress.

"AUUGH!!!!!!!!!!" Onigiri screamed in frustration, pulling at her hair. "THE ONE DAY I DECIDE TO TAKE A SMALL BREAK FROM WRITING AND GO INTO THE CITY TO GORGE DOWN INCREDIBLY UNSAFE AMOUNTS OF JUNK FOOD, I FIND OUT MY CHARACTERS HAVE LEFT THE STUDIO AND DESTROYED THE HEAVEN OF LAZY, GROTESQUELY OVER-WEIGHT AMERICAN SLOBS EVERYWHERE!!!! NOW HOW WILL THEY BE ABLE TO EAT SANDWHICHES MADE OF DISGUSTING SOGGY BREAD THAT PEOPLE CLAIM TO HAVE SYRUP BAKED INSIDE WHEN WE ALL KNOW IT WAS JUST DIPPED IN OLD, SOUR FRENCH FRY GREASE, COLD, BURNT BACON, AND UNCOOKED EGGS WHILE NOT FEELING A SMIDGE OF GUILT BECAUSE THEY BOUGHT A DIET COKE WITH IT!!!!????"

"But-. . ." Subaru peeped, brushing debris off her clothes. "There's a monstrous Mary-Sue waitress after. . .us. . ." Her sentace trailed off as she scrunched her face and set her teeth, working with all her might to rub off a grass stain on her boot.

"Oh, please," Onigiri sighed, rolling her eyes. "You really think you've had everyone fooled all this time?"

"Whatever are you talking about?" Subaru inquiried, her voice becoming a bit more soft and sexier halfway through the sentance.

"See!!?" Onigiri exclaimed, pointing an accusimng finger at the girl. "She used waaay too proper English and her voice became irrisistable!! But there's only one way for absolute proof - THIS!!!!!" The authoress whipped out a mirror and held it in front of Subaru, foam beginning to seep from her mouth as her breathing grew heavier.

"A mirror??" Tsukasa paroted.

"Yes. . ." Onigiri hissed, pushing the reflective glass closer to Subaru's face. "Every Mary-Sue's greatest weakness is one thing: her own reflection."

"Ooooh. ." Subaru cooed, flipping her hair and flashing the mirror a smile. "Daaaamn, girl, you lookin' fiiiine. ." She then blew her reflection a kiss.

"Hey, what's this. . .?" Mimiru walked up from behind Subaru and examined her back. "A zipper??" She pulled down and the green-haired girl's skin, clothes, everything peeled away and slithered to the ground. Everyone GASPED!!!-ed. The real Subaru turned out to be standing at six feet and seven inches with a thin, curvaceous, fully filled out body wearing short shorts, adorable pink and baby blue toe-socks with a cute, little bow at the top, black high-heels with a matching bow, a white-too-tight-short-sleeved-T-shirt with "hottie" written in pink across the chest, the i dotted with a heart, a pink shawl, large, gold hoop earrings, luscious red lips, and the Mary-Sue works.

"Yes. . .it's ever-so-true. . ." the now brunette-and-blonde-highlighted girl admitted, beautiful tears welling up in her dazzling, forest green eyes. "The reason I hid my true self from you all is because of my very first boyfriend. I loved him oh-so-much, and I thought he felt the same, but-"

"Man, she even has a tragic past! If this doesn't convince ya, I don't know what will. . ." Onigiri crossed her arms and shook her head in pity. The rest of them mournfully bowed their heads in deep sympathy and they all walked away.

"Whaat!?" Subaru shrieked disbelievingly. "How can you hate me!!? Everyone loves me!! Everyone!! I'm a Mary-Sue!! A Mary-Sue, dammit!! A MARY-SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE. . . . .!!"

"Damn. . ." Tsukasa mumbled under his breath. "She was this hot babe all along. . . I can't believe I chose Mimiru over her. . ." He slapped his forehead and Mimiru shot him a glare.

"So what're we gonna do about the government taking the studio back from us?" Sora suddenly piped up. Onigiri immediately froze and everyone shot the Player Killer a death glare as she slowly turned around. . .

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????"

.::TBC::.