To the reviewers:

Kaze-san: Hey, I'm not a drill sergeant, so there's no need to salute! Buffing my shoes, doing all my chores, and feeding me grapes while fanning me will be fine. ;p Hope you like this chapter just as much as the others!

randomguy-san: Gyah, now you can find out! Thanks for the review. :)

Liika/Sakura/Menou Kohaku/A H H H H H!: Onigiri-sama, eh? Muahaha, I have the power. . . :3 I'm glad you love it. Maybe we could even pull some strings and make it legal to marry works or literature. . . ;p

Kamon-san: It's never too late to review:D I think this chapter just happens to be the most random yet. . .

natepetrie: Nothing says I love your story more than the F word. ;) Thanks.

cracker-san: Thank ya very much. ;D

LavenderAlana-san: Woah. I'm not paying for your hospital bill. ;)

I love you all so much! Keep them reviews comin'! (heart-heart)

-

ONIGIRI NOTES:

I have bad news. They're not making another Lizzie McGuire movie, chocolate hasn't been proven to cause immediate death, and the world isn't going to end. No, it's much worse. THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER OF WHOSE LINE WITH THE HACKERS! I didn't even realize it until I had already typed half of it. I just suddenly looked at the screen and said, "Oh. . . I guess this is it." It's okay to cry if you have to.

-

CHAPTER SEVEN And The Verdict Is. . .

Onigiri's eyes fluttered open. "Am I in Heaven. . . . .?"

"Think. Whenever someone asks that after a big disaster, it's never true."

"Huh. . .?" The authoress's vision slowly focused, revealing a sour, wrinkled face looming over her. "E E E E E E E K!" she screeched, jumping to her feet and waking her anime companions sprawled out on the floor around her. "Is this like that one Christmas story where the dude is visited by those three spirits! Are you the spirit of Christmas Fartbags!"

"NO!" the old lady screamed, snapping a thick, wooden ruler down onto the desk she was sitting behind. She then cleared her throat, adjusted her half-moon glasses, and continued in a more calm tone, "This is the realm between Heaven. . .and Hell."

"Woah! This is so much cooler than the Game Over sequence they have for The World!" Tsukasa exclaimed.

"But what's the point of it?" Mimiru questioned.

"The point is, little missy, that the public bus system you whippersnappers rode on is very popular. However, the big cheeses in charge keep assigning morons to drive the buses! So everyone ends up dead. And like I said, if you could hear straight instead o' makin' yourselves deaf with your loud rock 'n' roll, the bus system is so popular that we've had an overload of souls all coming in at once. Not even God can judge that fast, and so all souls 'in waiting' come here. Now take a number and go into the waiting room on your right."

Onigiri, Tsukasa, Mimiru, and Toboe all shuffled into the plain room filled with rows of seemingly comfortable chairs until you sit on them as far as the eye could see. They took the four empty seats closet to the door. As time sluggishly ticked by, Mimiru and Tsukasa pretended to interest themselves in copies of Bloodless Weekly while Onigiri nudged Toboe every few minutes to whisper, "Whaddaya think that guy died from?"

Hours passed, names were called, and the number of people impatiently being patient began to decrease. Finally, the gang sat all alone.

"It's quiet. . ." Onigiri spoke up.

"It was quiet since we came in," Mimiru said.

"Yeah, but now it's too quiet. . ."

"What is that even supposed to mean?"

Suddenly, a far-off creaking sound interrupted their dispute. It seemed to go in circles around them as it grew louder and louder. Spidery cracks began to slowly trail up the side of the wall they faced.

A little bug then broke through the plaster and scurried off somewhere.

Onigiri sighed. "Even in the Afterlife they have cockroaches."

A second later, with an eardrum-shattering scream, the Mary-Sue Monster burst through the same wall and lunged after the quartet. Screaming "bloody murder," "bloody Mary," and, "I want chicken," Tsukasa, Mimiru, and Toboe dashed for their. . .deaths to the next scene.

"The courthouse!" Mimiru exclaimed with glee. "We made it!"

Right then, Sora came running at them full-speed, cackling maniacally. However, the three stepped to the side just in time, causing the Player Killer to smack gruesomely into the hard wall of the enormous building. "It was. . . .a tie. . . ." the pained, muffled voice was barely audible from his position of kissing brick.

Short attention span kicking in, Toboe suddenly asked, "Hey. . . Where's Onigiri at?"

Mimiru gasped. "That bitch! She ditched us! Right when we actually have to do some real work, too! And now she's making me use too many exclamation marks!"

"Isn't it exclamation points?" Sora cut in.

"You know, I like commas, myself," Tsukasa said, hugging himself.

Toboe shrugged. "Periods are okay."

"SO NOW YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME FOR BEING A GIRL! SEXIST BASTARD!" Mimiru screamed in rage.

Sora quickly got between her and the okami. "Don't you think you're a bit overreacting?"

"Fight, fight, fight, it's all we ever do," Tsukasa sulked.

"Let's just go in the courthouse and get this over with." Toboe began to walk up the first of thousands of steps; the other three followed after him.

"Oh. My. Budha." The anime characters stared up at the judge with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"Hi, guyyys!" Onigiri shouted happily, feverishly waving her hand that was holding the mallet. From all the force, the head of it snapped off and went rolling down the floor. ". . . BAILIFF! GET ME ANOTHER MALLET!"

"That's the fifth one this week. . ." the latter grumbled, handing her the desired item.

Tasking her new mallet, Onigiri then slammed it onto the large desk and announced, "The courtroom is now is session, y'all!"

Still a bit dazed, the gang sat down. However, Toboe spoke up, "You're our judge when you were part of the problem. . .?"

"GUILTY!" the authoress bellowed with another bang on the desk.

The four looked at her with pale faces and horrified eyes.

"Hahaha! Just kidding! Being a judge is so much fun. . ." she sighed.

"So, Toboe-san, where were you on the night of January 53rd, 1972. . .?" Onigiri interrogated menacingly.

"Uh h, the 'offense' happened only a few weeks ago," the okami replied. "And January doesn't even have 53 days. And isn't the opposing attorney supposed to be the one questioning me?"

"SO YOU CAN'T GET YOUR STORIES STRAIGHT, HUH? WELL, THEN LET'S JUST SEE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THESE MULTIPLE TAPINGS KIBA RECORDED OF YOU IN THE SHOWER!"

"What?" Toboe screamed.

Kiba jumped up from within the audience. "WHAT?"

Every Kiba fangirl in the world shrieked, "WHAT!"

Blushing, the beiliff stepped up to Onigiri and whispered something in her ear. "Uh-huh. . . .yeah. . . ." Once he left, she then announced (again), "Okay, we're gonna settle this nice 'n' easy, with a game from WHOSE LINE!"

The audience whooped and cheered.

"AND TO HELP WITH THIS GAME, WE HAVE WITH US THE ACTUAL DREW CAREY. . . . ."

People gasped; some even fainted.

". . . . .'S BROTHER'S WIFE'S COUSIN'S SISTER'S FRIEND'S AUNT'S UNCLE'S FATHER'S DOG!"

"RuffEHHGH!" A splatter of vomit was heard backstage, and a few moments later, said dog came limping out, fur knotted and turning gray with a lazy eye.

"This is Cute-sie," Onigiri explained. "After the game is over, he'll judge how well you did. The scoring will be as follows: If he barfs, you're in for life. If he soils the floor, you're in for twenty. If he does both at the same time, you're innocent. And if he simply keels over just like that, you're off with a $70 fine. Now, let's. . .Make a Date! Tsukasa will be Bachelor Number One, Sora will be Bachelor Number Two, and Toboe will be Bachelor Number Three, while Mimiru is the Unfortunate Bachelorette!" The game began with the hit of her mallet.

"Bachelor Number One-"

"Feh."

"-I like a guy who's tough enough to protect me from nasty demons that want to slice off my head and drink the cold blood from my neck, but soft enough to enjoy cuddling up under a blanket with a warm fire blazing while we read Suki together. Does that sound like you?"

"Feh."

". .Okay, on to bachelor Number Two."

"Ooh-hoo-hoo. . .!"

"Bachelor Number Two, my favorite color is rainbow. What's yours?"

"Ooh, anything you're wearin' under that miniskirt, girlie. Yesiree. Ooh-hoo-hoo!"

"I guess that would be see-through. . . Okay. Bachelor Number Three."

". . .?"

"U h h h h h h m m, I dunno. What's your personailty like?"

"I come in all sorts of flavors! Strawberry, chocolate, coconut. . .dripping down a delicious stick!"

BANG! "Okay, Mimiru, guess who they are."

"I'm thinking Bachelor Number One is. . . .Inuyasha?"

"No, you idiot, it was obviously Jaganashi Hiei from Yuu Yuu Hakusho!" Onigiri shouted, hands up in the air. "Inuyasha's "feh" is a more annoyed tone, while Hiei's is a more irritated one. Sheesh!"

Mimiru arched an eyebrow. "U m m m m, okay, then. Bachelor Number Two is. . .Master Roshi from Dragonball?"

"Dragonball and Dragonball Z, hun." Onigiri shook her head disapprovingly.

"Well, I would say what Bachelor Number Three is, but I don't think it's appropriate. . ."

The authoress's eyes widened. "A box of pocky, you sicko!"

"You're calling me a sicko. . . . .?"

BANG! BANG! "Okay, let's get on with the judging."

"RuffEHHGH!" Splat.

"I sentence you to a lifetime in the slammer."

Mimiru and Sora broke down into tears, while Tsukasa rocked back and forth, sucking his thumb in a fetal position, and Toboe got down on his knees in front of the judge's desk, begging for mercy.

Onigiri then suddenly exclaimed with a smile, "But the sentences don't matter, so you're free to go!"

The quartet jumped up and cheered. "YAY!"

The ceiling mechanically split in two and opened up, a disco ball reveling itself as the regular lights shut off and multicolor strobe lights dance around the room. The audience all started dancing.

"Hi it, Marshall!" Onigiri gave the signal with a point to Eminem.

Just lose it

HAHAHAHAHA!

Just lose it

HAHAHAHAHA!

Go crazy

HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, baby

HAHA!

Oh, baby, baby

With a scowl, Drew Carey hit "Off" on the remote, and everything went black. "This show sucks!"

-The-End-

ONIGIRI NOTES:

I really hope you enjoyed. . .this. . .last. . .chapter. (sniff, sniff) I might even do a small epilogue. . . BUT DON'T HOLD ME TO IT! I said might. And with that I bid you sayonara.

Now review or you're as heartless as. . .ME!