Promises of Joy

Rei walked back into the apartment with the last words that Ryota said: "To Saikoubi Lake, I love that lake. It was the last place that Kira and I had our time before my dad sent me off to boarding school". Rei shook off what he heard from him and proceed back up to the apartment. As he slowly and quietly opened the door, Rei hears Kira from their bedroom. "Mom, has Rei said anything to you about the baby?" she asked in a concern voice. Rei didn't want to let them noticed he was in the apartment just yet so he leaned against the wall in the livingroom to listen to them. "I think he just needs some time to adjust to the thought of being a father," Miya explained with her motherly comforting voice. "When I told your father about you, he was relief because he thought I called him home from work just to tell him bad news," Miya said in a humorous voice. Rei could feel Kira's happiness over the subject of her real father. "The actual knowledge of you was the happiest day of his life," Miya added then Rei hears the bed squeaking gave him the knowledge that she was sitting on the bed with Kira. "Don't worry about the baby," Tatsuya said with his hand on Kira's. "I won't. Where's Ryota?" Kira asked while looking out the door and noticed everyone was gone.

"He went out for a walk," Rei answered as he walked into the room, with his hands in his pockets he walked passed the bed and headed toward the bathroom. Tatsuya sensed that Rei and Kira needed to be alone. "Harumi we should get going," he said as he gathered Harumi's hand into his, at first she refused but when she noticed the tone in his voice, she obeyed. "Um, call us if you need us, Kira," Rumi said then hugged her friend. "Okay thanks you guys" Kira said then she released her friend, her mother and new stepfather kissed her on the same cheek "We love you sweetheart" Kuga whispered after he planted his kiss on her cheek. "Give us a call for anything" he added as he existed the room, Kira nodded in response to him, finally she heard the front door close.

Rei stepped out of the bathroom with the sleeves of his shirt folded up to his elbow, the shirt out of his pants and without looking at her he sat on his side of the bed making Kira feel more uncomfortable. "You don't want this baby, do you?" Kira finally asked to ease her fear. "No, that's not it, I wasn't even thinking about that," Rei said as he laid on his back with his left hand over his head. Kira was relieved to hear Rei didn't want an abortion. "I just... I didn't expect us to have a kid so soon." Rei tried to explain in his own way but Kira sensed something he wasn't telling her. "What do you think about this baby?" Rei asked finally looking up at her with eyes open. "I-I'm just so overwhelmed," she answered. "Remember when you took me away from my stepfather and I told you that you are now my family? We are going to become a real family," she explained calmly and more cheerfully than Rei. "I always dreamed about having a baby... our baby!" Kira ended her explanations. Rei set himself on to his side so that he could face her. "I can understand your desire to becoming a mother and no doubt about it: You are going to be an amazing mother," Rei said. "But give in to my past with my mother, I have doubts about myself being a father," he added. Kira's eyes gave him the understanding what he needed. "Rei, you are going to be a wonderful father, I know that in my heart," Kira said with her hand on his cheek, but Rei took her hand and held it in his. "You have a good heart, but I wish I could believe that in here," Rei said while pointing at his head indicating his mind.

Kira slid onto her side so that her back was on Rei's chest, Rei responded by wrapping his arms around her. "So what happens to you now?" Rei asked out of the silence. "I have a doctor's appointment next week," Kira answered calmly. "Is it bad?" Rei asked with his head resting on Kira's shoulder. "No, it's just a routine check up," Kira answered. "Do you wanna come?" she asked. Rei was taking his time before he could answer her question and that made her feel doubtful. "Uh, sure, I'll go," he finally answered, but again Kira felt uncertain about everything.

The doctor's appointment week arrived so fast to Rei he almost was ten minutes late to pick up Kira from home to take her, she sat on the stoops of their apartment waiting for him to arrive, finally Kira saw him in a car for the first time. But as Kira looked at the car she realized the car was Tatsuya and Harumi's. "Sorry I'm late, I waited for Tatsuya to get off work so that I could take him home then take their car finally," Rei said as Kira opened the passenger door and climbed in quietly. "I understand," she said in a pretty convincing voice to Rei's ears.

In the lobby of the clinic Rei slouched on his seat next to Kira who was reading a copy of Parent magazine. The couple didn't say a word about the baby or discuss about Rei's doubts. "Rei, look. Isn't this cute?" Kira said pointing at a picture of a baby crib articles in the magazine. Rei looked at the articles "Yeah... cute," he said but not in the same enthusiastic voice like hers, that made Kira feel the same doubt she has been feeling ever since she told him about the baby. "Kira Kashino?" the nurse called out from the back room. Kira rose onto her feet with her purse over her shoulder. "Um, I am just going to wait out here, if that's okay with you?" Rei said looking down at his wife. "Sure, it's your choice," she answered. "God, please help me have faith in Rei," Kira thought to herself as she walked with the nurse to the back of the building.

Rei was quiet in the lobby but his silences was disturbed by the young guy next to him "Man, this is a huge weight on us, you know what I mean?" he asked Rei in an exhausted voice. Rei was at first clueless about what the guy meant but when he notice the young girl signing in on the counter, that indicated to him that she was with the young man seated next to him. "She's having your kid?" Rei asked looking at him, the young man gave a chuckle then looked at Rei in the eye. "Nope, we are actually actors for the play of the virgin Mary and Joseph" he replied with a smile. Rei didn't take it personally. In fact, he laughed at himself. "How long is she?" Rei asked. "About 7 months," he answered. "You don't look nervous," Rei said. "Nah, at first I was, but then I started getting anxious about the whole thing because I grew up in a big family, tight emotionally and everything," the young man explained. The more he continued to talk about the changes he made in his life to suit the baby and his wife, the more Rei began to remember his mother and all his doubts about being a father, it terrified him so much that he was distracted from the young man's rumblings. "Hey buddy, you okay?" he asked shaking Rei's arm. "Huh? What did you say?" Rei asked him. "I asked if you a had someone in the with something in the oven?" he replied. Rei looked out the window from where he was sitting at and noticed the park across the street from the clinic. Without saying anything Rei rose onto his feet and headed out the door, the couple watched him walk to the park that he was looking at.

Rei walked quickly across the street with a few of the words the young man planted in his head. "Family, Changes, Promises, and Responsibilities," but the images of his mother almost killing him when he was little were kicking out the good thoughts about his child. Rei ran into the park almost like he was trying to escape. "Damn you, you bitch!" Rei thought to himself as he came to a bench that was facing the lake in the park. "All these doubts I'm feeling about being a father is because of your mental problems," he continued thinking about his mother. "Shit, why can't I be happy about the next big change in my life or at least why can't I stop thinking about my crazy mother?"he thought again. "You look like you're about to pop wide open," Ryota said from behind, he turned his head to see Ryota wearing a pair of light brown khaki pants with a white t-shirt and his hands stuffed in his pockets. "What are you doing here?" Rei asked looking at him. "I told you this is my favorite spot in Tokyo," Ryota relied as he leaned on the bench arm rest. "Oh, Yeah, I remember you saying that," Rei said as he sat back. "How's Kira and the baby?" Ryota asked looking at him with a smirking smile. "They're both fine, Kira is in that clinic for a routine check up," Rei explained while pointing at the clinic he just burst out of. "Then why are you here?" Ryota asked as he seated himself next to Rei.

Rei sat back and gave out a loud sigh. "I just needed the space," he answered. "But tell me something, why do you love this park?" Rei asked staring at him. Ryota sensed that Rei was, in a way, trying to avoid being placed in the center of attention but most of all he was trying to avoid giving any kind of intimate details about Kira and the baby. "I see, you don't believe that I am Kira's stepbrother?" Ryota said, then chuckled at himself. "No, I know you are a kin to Kira but I don't think I'm ready to let you in on any of our personal family matter," Rei explained, gave out a relaxing sigh as he sat back, closed his eyes and smiled at the sun shining through the tree over them.

"Because... This is the place where I kissed Kira for the first and last time."