Disclaimer: I do not own Discworld or any of the characters in this story, but I might own the idea (I haven't read all the Discworld novels or all the Discworld fanfics in the universe so I'm not necessarily the first person to think of this situation) however the writing is mine so don't steal it please or I'll have to inform Angua about your criminal activities and I do believe there is a full moon tonight.

Just a note: this is in the genre humour because of obvious reasons once you read the story and is also in the genre general because I believe this is not an unusual occurance to be catagorized, I think this could actually happen in Discworld (if it hasn't already) and would be marked as an everyday happenstance.

For those of you not as familiar with Discworld, the "SNH SNH SNH!" is the Death of Rats sniggering.

I hope you enjoy reading this short, one shot, I certainly had fun writing it!

I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT'S RELEVANT.

"Not relevant?" shouted Albert, "Master, it's one of the most relevant things in the world!"

BUT I'M NOT PART OF THE WORLD, ALBERT. TO GET HERE YOU MUST PASS THROUGH INFINITY. YOU KNOW THAT, YOU'VE SEEN THE DUCK EGG BLUE PASS SWIFTLY FROM SIGHT. AND BESIDES, WE NEEDN'T BOTHER ANYONE ABOUT IT.

"Of course we needn't, Master, because they already know! And it doesn't matter that you're not part of the world because even if you aren't, you're still involved with it." Albert sighed, "Please, Master, you must do something. People won't respect you anymore!" he begged.

HALF THE PEOPLE DON'T EVEN BELIEVE I EXIST.

"Maybe not as an anthropomorphic personification, but they do respect and fear their own death, but they won't if you allow them to spread the word to other people!"

NONSENSE, ALBERT, PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FEAR ME. IT'S IN THEIR VERY NATURE, JUST LIKE HAVING TO PRESS THE BIG RED BUTTON LABELLED 'DO NOT PRESS', IT IS A SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU KNOW.

"But…but…but, but Death is not supposed to wear frilly pink knickers!" Albert pleaded.

SNH SNH SNH!

"What will people think, what will they say? It'll upset the whole balance of Discworld if this gets out. When a person's threatened to be killed, will they shake and shudder, wet themselves with fear and blubber and beg for their life? NO! They'll wet themselves laughing at the image of a black robed, seven-foot skeleton wearing frilly pink knickers!"

SNH SNH SNH!

"I mean, people will start killing themselves off just to see that!"

I KNOW BETTER THEN ANYONE THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING THE BALANCE, ALBERT. THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

"I don't think you do, Master. You…" he was cut off by Death

ALBERT, I WOULD LIKE A CUP OF TEA PLEASE.

"What? No! Master, you cannot just brush this off by having a cup of tea!"

A CUP OF TEA, IF YOU WILL, ALBERT.

"But Master…"

ALBERT… Death's tone indicated that Albert was approaching a line that should not be crossed.

"Yes, Master." Albert trudged out of the cavernous room, still fuming about his master's irrational ways. Why did humanity have such an effect on him, why did he insist on doing things his way? He supposed life would go on, or Death as the matter were, regardless of what others did. But, "Frilly pink knickers! Frilly pink knickers!"

SNH SNH SNH!

Thanks for reading my story, hope you enjoyed it!

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