Chapter Five

The morning sun made the snow outside the kitchen window look like glass. I stared at it, as I absentmindedly dried the cup in my hand. Ever since my conversation with Haru the night before, I'd been lost in thought. Everything he'd said…it was everything I'd never thought of before.

"Yuki?" A concerned voice interrupted my contemplation. Tohru stood beside me, the dishes she was washing clinking against the bottom of the sink. I noticed offhandedly that the soap suds looked like vines climbing up her arms. "You look worried. Is everything alright?"

No. I thought, as I looked down at the cup in my hand. Were Haru's words true? Did other people really hurt like I did? And if so, were they liars, too? Were they as ugly as me inside?

"Yuki?"

Was I more human than I thought? All along, had I been working to belong to a world I already fit into?

"Yuki, are you okay?"

I rolled the cup into my other hand. Before Haru had asked me why I thought the outside world could heal me, I had been so sure that it would save me. Somewhere along the line, I had begun to believe that transforming myself into an outsider would somehow remove me from the Sohma family. Would ease the pain I was drowning in. Would obliterate my self-hatred. Would help me feel less numb. But that all seemed so ridiculous now. Haru was right. What could they possibly do for me when they only knew the Prince?

A hand suddenly tapped my shoulder. I jumped backwards in surprise, and the cup almost spun out of my fingers. I had completely forgotten that Tohru was there.

"Uh, sorry. Were you saying something?" I inquired, embarrassed that I had been so completely dazed.

Tohru's worried face stared up at mine, her turquoise eyes searching my own. "Yuki, are you feeling okay? You're not acting like yourself…"

Huh?

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because Tohru continued. "You're…distant. Usually you're so friendly!"

Friendly? What is she talking about- I realized suddenly what was wrong...why she was looking at me as if I was a stranger. My eyes widened in horror. This whole time we had been washing dishes, I had forgotten to be the Prince!

"I…uh…" I franticly began to search through my mind for some kind of excuse. For some kind of lie. Anything.

"Yuki? You're sweating. Do you have a fever?"

That's it! I'll blame all of this on a fever. Or maybe- Tohru pressed her hand against my cheek in concern, and a wave of familiarity washed over me. My frenzied thoughts abruptly stopped, as I tried to remember why her gesture was recognizable.

Then it came to me. The night before, Haru had placed his hand on my face in the same way. Her fingertips were even spread out just as his had been. There was a difference, though. I remembered him leaning over me, his intense, gray eyes peering into my own. His words echoed in my head. "I accept you, Yuki." He had touched me, while with Tohru, I could barely feel her hand.

I examined Tohru's innocent face. She and I had never actually had a conversation. All her words had been given to the Prince and his fake smiles. They would laugh together, eat together, study together, and all along I was nothing but an onlooker. A spectator that Tohru didn't even know existed. Haru, however, saved all his special words for me, and the laughs we shared didn't belong to anyone else. He made me feel. He knew who I really was.

"You know what's okay? Who you really are, Yuki."

"Excuse me." I murmured, pulling away from Tohru and exiting the kitchen. How could I have been so blind? I had been so focussed on distant goals that I never saw what had been standing right in front of me all along. I didn't need to be praised by my teachers. I didn't need to be accepted by the other students. I didn't need to mimic their shallow smiles and mocking laughs. I didn't need the world. I needed Haru.

"Yuki? Did I do something to upset you?" Tohru exclaimed, but I didn't respond. I simply hurried down the hallway, searching for Haru. Where had he told me he was going again? To take a bath?

"So what you want me to say is that it's okay for you to sacrifice the people who love you for some strangers?" Last night, while Haru and I were arguing, he had spoken those words to me. At the time, I had been too engrossed in the conversation to notice the subtle "I love you.", but as I was hurrying down the hallway, I frowned. How many of Haru's affection words had I not noticed? How many loving glances and kind gestures had I overlooked? I shook my head, as if to shake the shame away. It didn't work.

I promise, Haru, that I will make up for every lost moment!

Suddenly the bathroom door was in front of me, and I panted for breath. Now that I was here, I wasn't sure what to say to him. I wasn't even sure if I had the courage to knock. I was so afraid that he would speak to me in the same cold voice he used last night…so afraid that he wouldn't forgive me.

I ended up not having to knock at all, however. I was shocked out of my panicked thoughts by the door abruptly sliding open, revealing a surprised Haru. A surprised Haru with hair and skin still damp from his bath, and who had yet to put on a shirt. I blushed and quickly looked away in embarrassment.

"Yuki?" Haru said after a moment of awkward silence.

"I, uh, have to talk to you about something." I stammered. I still didn't know what to say to him. After all, how do you tell someone that they are everything to you? I wasn't sure that even the Prince could think of words perfect enough.

"Oh." He replied, and I nervously shuffled my feet. I could feel him staring at me, waiting for words that I still needed to find. But the words wouldn't come, and a few minutes followed of my pounding heart being the only noise.

"Yuki, do you hate me?" My mouth dropped open in surprise, and I turned to stare at him. I hadn't been expecting that, especially since I had come here to tell him the exact opposite. I didn't even think it was possible for anyone to hate Haru. But he was serious…his eyes were filled with unease.

Did I really treat you that badly? My stomach turned with self-hatred.

"No! That's not it at all…I…uh…" I gazed into his apprehensive eyes. Damp pieces of hair fell into them, and I thought of all the different things those piercing eyes made me feel. They made me swell with happiness…they made me want to run away. "I'm…I was afraid of you. You're so carefree…it's…intimidating."

Haru looked taken aback, but not offended, and I felt my heart calm some. The Prince usually handled difficult conversations like this, and I wasn't quite sure how to express my feelings yet. But I hadn't hurt Haru. And it felt good to be able to do something right on my own.

"Then what did you want to tell me?" Haru said, and I shifted my weight from one foot to the other apprehensively. This was it. I had to find those words.

"I wanted to tell you…" I began nervously, hoping that everything would come together as I spoke. "That you're always there when I need you to be. And…that you always say the right things. And you…you know…are special to me." Haru blinked.

This isn't working. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. How could he make saying "I love you." look so simple? I slowly studied his bewildered face.

I need to tell him, but how?

"Yuki?" I watched his lips move with my name, and I shivered, as I remembered how it had felt to be so close to those syllables. It was like the world had dissolved around us, and I had even needed to remind myself to breathe. I had been so content, like I belonged there. I had never felt as if I belonged anywhere before, and I wanted to feel like that again. And I wanted Haru to know that's how I felt.

I was suddenly moving forward, closing the gap between us. His beautiful gray eyes widened in astonishment, as I determinedly placed my hands on his bare shoulders. For the first time in my life, I felt no fear or indecision, and I realized as I pulled Haru close that the reason I didn't feel those things is because there was no need to. Touching that mouth for the second time was so natural and real, like everything leading up to it had been a dream.

Haru didn't ask for any explanations for the impulsive kiss. He simply smiled gently against my lips, as he pulled me closer. I had known he would understand. After all, Haru had always understood me.

The end.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of its wonderful characters. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Aren't I special? xD

AN: I am so, so, so unbelievably sorry for the delay on this fanfiction! I know how terrible it is when an author suddenly stops updating, and I cannot believe I became one of those authors. I have an excuse, though... You see, my personal life became a disaster over the past couple of months. My cousin passed away, and a precancerous condition was found on my grandfather's arms and face. Plus, I got my wisdom teeth removed. I've been quite busy and distressed. :sighs:

This fanfiction's sudden, unannounced hiatus was inexcusable and selfish of me, but I want everyone to know that I received no angry, demanding emails or reviews. However, what I did receive was countless encouraging messages that made my hard times a little more bearable. AkimaDM, backlash, Bass Star Cardians Webmistress, Billy the Kangaroo, blu-rain, CloverRock, dizzy-otaku, eathra, Forgotten Memories, HarahettaMonkeyKing, Kaay-chan, Kikei, Knux girl, Lawr, lil'hp fan124, Miyosuke, Odango43938, Peter James, PoeticIndigo, pookie crisp, PunkRockerPenguin, ruji, Sagi-chan, SakuraBubbles the Muffin Child, SSC-backwards, sutaretagaisce, Tokenblackchick, and all my readers that didn't review, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I just hope this chapter was worth the wait. :sweatdrop:

- Until next time, Jessiegurl43953