Danger Zone
I have violent thoughts sometimes. Dangerous thoughts. Thoughts that make me want to jump up and slap Kiba in the face. I imagine jumping on him for once. I imagine punching his nose in, how he would look then.
These are the thoughts that feel most out of place in my mind. I hate these thoughts. They are as someone else's thoughts; they feel like intruders in my own mind. I think of that boy when I have these thoughts. Gaara. He scares me as well, but he at least scares everyone. I am not alone in my fear of him. But sometimes I think maybe I understand him a little. And in that I must be alone.
I don't like thinking of Gaara. When he is in my mind he never likes to leave. He stays there until I am finally able to force him out. He is there at night in my nightmares. I wonder if everyone has nightmares like I do. Does everyone else dream of being killed? Killed by anyone, everyone. Those we are afraid of, the ones we trust, the ones we love.
I did. I dreamed Naruto killed me.
I dream of Death.
Once I dreamed Death had everyone in its jaws but me. It was up to me to save everyone and I was powerless. Everyone expected me to save them, but no one has power over Death. How could they expect me to be able to save them from that?
I didn't save them. Before they died though, someone else came to save me. A being of pure light, or maybe hope, they came and took me away, back to my bed. Back to the night.
Sometimes I wonder what he would do if Akamaru ever died. I don't like to think of that; it makes me feel mean. I would never wish death on Akamaru, but he will die someday won't he? They'll die together, I know they will. If one of them ever died the other would be next, within moments.
I think his heart would break.
I think my heart would too.
Thanks to all my lovely reviewers (especially you Ebony-chan! 3) and you too FQEB!
This chapter feels sort of jumpy, but I still like it. :P