Okay, Okay, I lied. When I started writing out what I initially had planned out for this chapter it didn't work in well with the plot. I'm still going to use those ideas, but I have to use another chapter to get you ready for it. In some ways this chapter will be like a default chapter, but it's still important you read it or it'll be hard for you to digest what is coming up next. So, what I'm saying for real this time (and I promise) that this chapter set's things up for the next chapter. Please bear with me because the next chapter will be worth it, trust me. And this chapter really is not a bad chapter; I just know some of you were expecting more. But good news, I have already planned out my next two chapters, so it shouldn't take me too long to update them. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!. All of those rights belong to Craig Bartlett.
Thanks to those who have review and please review again:
iluvarnold- Oh, I'm sorry, it was disappointing but I'm glad you liked it. Tell me why you thought it was disappointing, maybe I can add something in my story to change that. :)
Cook101- I am so going to go read that story Where's that Girl?. I'm sure it's great. :)
Tinánia Legolinde – LOL. So much stuff to respond to. You're probably right. My friend has nothing on you. :) Your pure love for Orlando Bloom is just like my pure love for Tony Parker. SIGH. Thanks for taking the time to write so much. I love it.
Estel fuga- Helga may or may not come to her fears, the same with Arnold. I'll never tell anything about what I have in mind. :) You'll just have to keep reading. Aww, I'm really the first author to tell you something? That's cool. Oh well I love answering people's reviews.
Ms. Frosty- Thank you so much for the confidence you've displayed for my writing. I truly appreciate it. I know, I can't believe that Gerald for interrupting Arnold, he was so close. Please keep reviewing. I love reading them. Give me more of your thoughts, it's giving me ideas. :)
Chapter 5: Unacquainted Love
"Helga, my mother and I are having a little rendezvous at the mall. I have to go," Phoebe explained to the girl sitting beside her. Long after the departure of Arnold and Gerald they still sat on the same bench waiting silently for the other one to have an excuse to leave.
"Crimeny Phoebe, you drag me all the way out here and then you go," Helga retorted cocking her head to the side staring at her friend a scowl forming on her face. Crossing her arms across her chest she tried to look irritated.
"I can walk you home if you like," Phoebe suggested attempting to impose peace.
"No go ahead and go Phoebe. I'm big enough to walk myself home."
"Are you sure? I really don't mind."
"Yes! I am perfectly fine with walking myself home." Helga felt exasperated from the day's events. I could use a little time by myself.
"Well okay then. I'll see you tomorrow." Phoebe stood from the bench stretching her stiff back.
"Alright, Bye'." Helga watched intently as Phoebe walked away and then stared upwards to the darkening sky. I don't really feel like going home yet. It's not even dark yet. Maybe I'll go to the arcade. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll go to the arcade. She felt for loose change in the pockets of her dress. Darn it, I left my money in my other dress. Narrowing her eyes her face formed itself in to an even deeper, more permanent scowl. Swiftly, Helga rotated her head to the left and then to the right. Good, no one's around. From inside her pink dress Helga extracted a golden locket and leisurely opened it. A smile appeared on her face when she read the adoring words opposite of her beloved's picture:
To my beautiful Arnold, may I love you now and forever.
Eternally Yours,
Helga
Oh Arnold, I am so sorry. So near was I to being a loving heart to you, but no. I've ruined it all. Never will there ever be anything between us.
"Arnold," Helga allowed herself to sob. Never in her life had she felt so much regret to her football headed love. She had seen the pain afflicted in his glowing emerald eyes. Then, another emotion made its appearance in his eyes, an emotion she could not succeed in forgetting, rage. His eyes, oh his stunning green eyes. I looked into those eyes and saw is soul, his dismantled soul. Water continued to sting her inflamed cheeks even though she had tried repeated times to brush them away.
Behind Helga, a faint, wheezing sonance erupted. Startled, she peered up, raising her hand familiarly to strike her stalker, but paused reevaluating the action. Today, she was too distressed to clobber anyone.
"Go away Brainy," Held whispered bowing her head to gaze at the yellow grass below her with shoes. Since when Brainy first saw Helga pound her original victim he felt unconditional love for the girl with a unibrow. He decided he wanted to be the victim she pounded from then on and because of that he followed her instead of telling Helga of his true feelings. He does what I do to Arnold; Helga thought solemnly, her eyes still pressed to the ground.
"Huh…(wheeze)…okay…." Steadily, Brainy began stepping away from Helga, but halted sensing a sudden desire overcome his body. He felt her pain gravitate towards him, maybe this time he could verbalize words to her. These instances happened rarely, usually his faced was smashed in making it hard to communicate.
"Um…(cough)…Helga?"
"What do you want? Didn't I tell you to go?" Helga felt fragile, unable to develop an angry emotion. Her body felt numb, preventing her from feeling anything. Brainy had captured her at a weak moment. He got so lucky…, Helga's thoughts trailed off.
"I…was…uh…wondering…?
"Spit it out. I need to go." Helga intermitted, agitation crept in to her voice. Finally, long lost emotions were beginning to divulge themselves.
"Helga, I love you…(wheeze)…." Those words were the quickest Brainy had ever spoken in his life. Feeling faint, …(cough)… need to breath. Shutting his small eyes, Brainy expected to feel his love's fist meet his nose. Moments passed causing him to open his eyes to check that Helga was still there. Seeing her still sitting beside him he realized no punch would befall on to him. Maybe she's…considering what I'm telling...her. He knew she loved Arnold, how could he not? For years he attended her devoted confessions of love to him, but possibly she felt something for him too. Astonishment overflowed him as he realized he had told the infamous Helga G. Pataki of his love, never did he believe he would summon the courage. Remaining intent at watching her he prayed for a satisfying response.
Helga laughed timidly. Situations such as thus did not present themselves frequently. No one had ever professed their love for her. What do I say? He should be glad I'm feeling vulnerable right now. I mean I always knew Brainy liked me, but sheesh. She grasped the fact that she would never love him back; at least not in the way he wanted her too. Her heart rarely possessed enough love for Arnold, much less Brainy. I'm not going to lie to him, but I'm not going to hurt him. I already know what heartbreak feels like, Helga thought sourly.
"Brainy?"
"…(wheeze)…Yeah."
"Brainy, listen to me and listen to me good because I'm only going to say this once, Bucko."
"Okay." Brainy turned to look at her in the face, Helga became overturned at how much sincerity displayed itself in his set expression. He truly loves me, just like the way I love Arnold. For a guy who says so little, he really does have a way of making a girl feel bad.
"You deserve better than me, a lot better than me. Brainy you need a girl who could devote her whole heart to you, and I'm not ready to do that yet. I still love…," she stopped herself from finishing not wanting to begin crying again.
"I know."
Awkwardly, Helga tenderly patted him on the back unsure of what action to take next.
"I got to go home. Big Bob and Miriam are probably wondering where the girl is. In that case, I have to let them know I'm still alive." Her words came out jumbled and her voice sounded foreign.
"I'll…always…(sneeze)…love you," Brainy stated. Standing up he reluctantly walked away from his only chance at love.
"I guess I should go too," Helga sighed yearning to discount the words of undying love Brainy had confided to her. Rising to stand Helga's gaze drifted to the spot to where she had sat for the past three hours. Even though the bench was wood a permanent molding stamped of her behind crossed over its grains. My butt does feel kind of numb.
A force unknown to Helga caused her to glance at the direction Brainy had left, clasping her hand to her heart she whispered softly, "If you wait for me I might be able to make room in my heart for you too".
Wind blew through Helga's golden hair as if confirming her wavering words to Brainy. I have never met a person so clearly devoted to me and only me. I'm not going to throw it away like I've never heard it, even if I should. It means too much.
Unhurried, she began her short journey home located on Vineland Street. Where is Phoebe when I need her? I need someone to talk to. In such a short amount of time, so many emotions had emerged inside of her. Feelings of love, hate, remorse, regret, longing, and others yet to be named overwhelmed her psyche.
~*~*~*
Helga cast her eyes upward looking at the purple brick building that had been her home for the past nine years.
"This is not where I wanted to spend my evening," Helga growled wanting to return to her cozy bench in the park. She began back tracing her steps to the location before. Then, Helga came to a shaking pause; I'm not going to do anything there. I'll just be bored out of my mind and I'd rather be bored out of my mind in my own room. Unhurried, she climbed the stoop and turned the doorknob.
"Wrap him in a headlock! No! Not like that," Big Bob screamed at the television flailing his arms in frustration as he rested in his recliner. Like their really going to listen to you, Helga looked upon the man she called her father with spurning thoughts.
Hearing her stomach mouth its hunger Helga grudgingly made her way to the deserted kitchen.
Heedlessly, Helga searched the empty cupboards for ingredients to prepare a sandwich, but found none. Miriam forgot to go to the store again. Occurrences such as thus were typical in the Pataki household. Helga's parents were ignorant to the need of their youngest daughter. To Helga they seemed more attentive to Olga, her older sister. It isn't fair. They don't care about me. Olga is the only daughter they recognize as their own. At least she's away from me and in Alaska teaching the Eskimo children. Helga believed Bob and Miriam thought of Olga as the prettier, smarter, more talented sister.
In fury, Helga slammed the refrigerator door. From a young age prayers had befallen her wishing these people were not her actual parents, but adoptive ones. Somewhere she concluded her factual parents were waiting for her to come home, but that belief passed in time leaving her with the existence of this life. Returning to the living room Helga watched incredulously as Bob threw his pork rinds at the television screen.
"Bob, I'm home," Helga announced. Absent mindedly, he ignored her not realizing anyone in the room. He had fallen into trance as he stared at the wrestlers beating on one another.
"BOB! I'M HOME!"
"Agh! Who said that?!" His face turned pale as his stare inspected the area around him.
"It's just me, Helga."
"Oh, hey, Olga," he didn't bother to turn his gaze toward her. What does she want? Why won't these commercials ever end?
"It's Helga. H-E-L-G-A."
"Yeah okay, stop bothering me and go to your room."
"Where's Miriam?"
"How the heck am I supposed to know?"
"Because she's your wife." Rolling her eyes Helga slouched onto the faded green couch behind her father's recliner. I can't take this anymore. How can he not know? You're supposed to know where the people you love are.
Bob Pataki reversed his gaze from the animated wrestlers and examined his hands feeling ashamed with himself for a moment. The girl's right. I should know where she is because she's my wife and I'm her husband.
"Did you try the kitchen?"
"Uh, where do think I just was? At the circus?" Helga snapped ferociously at the gray haired man. Stress from his beeper business had begun to age him early. Why can't he pay attention to me? Helga's insides cried.
"Listen girl; don't take that tone of voice with me. Do you hear me?" Standing up from his chair he passed a penetrating stare at his daughter trying to warn her of the outcome of her words.
"Whatever Bob, I'm going to my room." Ascending from her sitting position she began running out of the room only to slam in to a thin woman carrying two loaded grocery bags. Non conventional items scattered across the tiled floor leaving a disarraying mess.
"Watch where you're going Miriam?" Helga scolded wiping squished grapes off her elbow.
"I'm sorry Helga, but you shouldn't be, um, running in the house," the frail woman answered apprehensively. She started collecting up the fallen items.
"What's going on in there?" Bob called.
"Nothing B." Miriam responded quickly. Realizing her glasses were not perched upon her nose anymore she moved her hands across the hard floor, "I know they couldn't have gone far…"
"Here Miriam," Helga shoved the taped specs in to her mother's cold hands.
"Thank you Helga," Miriam replaced them to their welcome spot over her upturned nose, a grateful smile appeared on her face.
Helga looked over the items still lying on the floors, "Did you get bread and milk?"
"Oh I knew there was something I forgot. I'm sorry hon. I got some stuff to make smoothies though," Miriam slurred.
"That's just peachy Miriam. Like I'm really going to eat a smoothie for dinner." Leaving her mother to deal with the mess in the entryway, Helga resumed her running until she reached her room upstairs. She couldn't talk to her parents anymore; it caused too much pain to revolve around her battered heart. Why me? How did I get stuck with them? These thoughts always forced themselves into Helga's mind, but she always reinforced them with thoughts of… Arnold. Pressing her eyes shut, Helga feared the tears waiting for their release. Oh, Arnold, my majestic Arnold, I miss you so much. You'll probably hate me forever, but I'll still love you even if I have to let you go.
From under her pink laced pillow Helga extracted a common pink journal and opened it to a blank page. Then, she pulled out her locket exposing Arnold's image to her view. Tracing her fingers along his silhouette she cast her browse to her journal. Besides the locket her journal was her most prized asset. In its bare pages held her soul's most secretive thoughts that she could show no one else trust to. Taking the pen in to her shaking hand Helga began scribbling words of poetry:
I love you
But you'll never know
My love suppressed heart is hurting
Never has it hurt so much to care for one person
Each day it grows worse
And that is why I need to say good-bye
My heart will still love you
But now I need time to care for myself
For you no longer will I be in love
It will hurt, I know
Eventually, it should pass leaving me a better person
Maybe later on in the years ahead
I will be in love again
Possibly not with you, but someone new
Water splotched the paper causing some of the words to smear. Those words ached at Helga, but her sensibility reassured her. She could not continue to live her life loving a boy who would never love her back.
Gently, Helga laid herself down, her body meeting the silk pink sheets. Sleep came slowly for Helga. Infinitely, she would remember this night as the night she unattached Arnold from her grieving heart.
A/N: Okay tell me what you think. I don't really expect a lot out of this chapter; remember I just needed this chapter to set things up for later on in the next chapter. I would still love to hear what you think of it. So please review and don't be shy to leave suggestions. I really don't mind. What do you think about Brainy finally coming out? I was a tad bit unsure about it. I'll try to have this story updated by next week, but I need to get a few more reviews first.