AFTER IMPACT

by J.Alana1

Third Impact has occured. Shinji Ikari & Asuka Langely Soryu are left alone. Now they must struggle to survive from day to day and face the awful truth that they were left to inherit the Earth. What lies ahead? What is the course of life After Impact?

5. Chapters 45 thru 59

PART V – THE CAVE

Chapter 45

"You need to give it a fucking rest, Asuka!" he had yelled out in a raspy voice that morning as he packed up the backpack and laced up his boots. "We'll be fine. We know what to do! Stop acting like a fucking bitch!"

"It's not me I'm worried about!" Asuka yelled out. "It's you, you fucking idiot! You're sick! Can't you see it yourself?" Asuka then pulled out her small mirror from her pack and shoved it in his face. "Take a good look at yourself, Shinji! You're fucking sick! Stop this madness now!"

Shinji growled and then knocked the mirror out of her hand, looking back at her with anger. "I've had it with you! I am so sick and tired of your shit! That's it, Asuka! I am going! If you want to stay, then stay! I don't care anymore!"

Asuka took a deep breath as she looked at him and said. "Okay. You win. Go, Shinji."

Shinji looked over at her, growled and then picked up his backpack saying. "Have a nice life, Asuka."

Asuka stood by herself as he walked past her, then she shut her eyes, feeling herself start to cry. She sniffled and then she grabbed her pack and called out. "SHINJI!"

She ran after him.

He turned around to her and saw her come towards him. He breathed out as he saw her and then said sarcastically. "So, are you coming?"

"Where you go, I'll go." Asuka said.

"I don't want to hear one word about me getting sick, understand?" he asked her.

"Okay." Asuka said.

"I also don't want to hear anymore SHIT about the bar, the weather, how pissed you are, nothing!" he growled at her.

"Okay." She said.

"Let's go." He told her.

"Shinji, wait!" She said tearfully as she reached for his arm.

Shinji froze and shut his eyes, and then he turned to her and saw her breathing heavily with tears coming down her face.

"Shinji, before we go…I need to tell you…that…. I…Shinji…. I…am sorry…I am so very sorry…. and you need to know that I…."

"…Asuka, just save it!" He had told her as he turned his back on her.

Asuka's heart had nearly shattered when he said that.

He began to go up the mountain. Asuka stood with her head bowed. She could feel the tears in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away.

"Hey." He called out to her.

Asuka nodded and looked up at him.

"You coming or what?" he asked her.

Asuka nodded as she walked toward him. He held out his hand to her and she took a deep breath as she took it and then he led her up the mountain.

"Zip up your jacket good." He told her. "It's going to be cold."

"It all ready is." Asuka responded as she looked at him.

He turned away from her and then walked up the mountain with her following behind him.

Chapter 46

Shinji became more and more tired with each step that he took. They had been walking since the first ray of dawn. The daylight was fading and nightfall was coming. He felt like he was a frozen block of ice. His teeth chattered and the cold bit right through the two sweaters he wore. He also felt like there was a fire raging inside of him eating him alive. On the outside he was bitterly cold and on the inside was warmth, warmth he needed and desired

Soon it would be dark and that meant it would be colder, he knew that shelter had to be found soon

As they trudged up the mountain, Asuka kept looking over her shoulder seeing Shinji appear more tired and restless with each step. She also noticed he was coughing a lot more and he was drinking a lot more water.

Suddenly she stopped as she noticed what appeared to be snowflakes. "Oh no." she said under her breath.

Shinji saw them too and felt fear well up inside of him yet on the outside, he looked calm and yelled out. "Asuka, c'mon let's go!"

Asuka continued to walk and then after a few more hours, the snow began to get heavier. Then she noticed that Shinji wasn't walking in a steady pace and his coughing was getting louder. "Just keep going." Shinji yelled out. "Keep going."

Asuka did as he instructed and all the while, he began to feel weaker and more tired.

The snow began to fall harder and with it the temperature dropped more. Shinji pushed through the cold and the wind with all of the strength he had.

As Asuka turned to look at him, she became increasingly worried. Breathing heavily, she ran up to him and then stood in front of him as he looked at her angrily.

"We have to turn back." She said. "It's getting too cold out! We have to go back!"

"NO!" he said in a fury. "Keep going! The more time you stand here flapping your mouth is more time we waste!"

"No, we need to stop. You need to stop! Damnit, your sick." Asuka said nervously.

"Are you that afraid of being alone? We need to go forward! Move!" he yelled out.

Asuka breathed in and nodded and then continued to walk.

He pushed on, ignoring her warnings and ignoring the sickness he felt dwelling within him.

He felt his vision become blurry as he looked at Asuka straight ahead in the distance and then he felt his knees give out on him. He tried to stay up but his strength had diminished. He reached for his chest as he breathed in and wheezed.

He sank down into the snow and fell down upon his knees. His eyes focused on Asuka. He felt weak and tired. He could hardly breathe. Pains ran throughout his body and then his eyes fluttered and he breathed out, falling down face first into the snow.

It was so damn cold. The warmth though that he desired was coming to him and it was starting to engulf him. It was inviting and warm and he felt good. He felt like he was safe and secure. He breathed out and smiled. One word escaped his lips as he felt the security of the warmth penetrating throughout his body. "Asuka."

Asuka trudged up further until she noticed what looked like a cave in the far distance.

"Shinji, there's shelter!"

When she turned though, she saw Shinji was laying face first in the snow and he was far back.

Her eyes widened.

"SHINJI!" She yelled as she ran over to him.

She knelt beside him, turning him over; he didn't seem to be moving.

"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled out. "Oh, no, Shinji! Please, God, no!"

She put her ear on his chest and then heard his heartbeat - it was slow.

He appeared to be out cold but he was breathing with a wheeze.. He shivered and his color was pale, white, almost.

Asuka cradled his body and looked at him with wide eyes as she said meekly through a tear-strained voice. "Shinji?"

Shinji opened his eyes half way and looked back at her. He smiled at her weakly and whispered in a raspy voice. "As…Asuka?' His eyes rolled back into his head and his head fell back as he head her scream.

"SHINJI!!"

Chapter 47

"SHINJI!"

Shinji's eyes flew open as he felt Asuka's hand strike his cheek hard.

He looked back to her, breathing hard, wheezing, feeling the bitter cold sweep throughout his body and the snowfall upon his face. He shivered. All around him was blinding snow and he felt horrible as he heard Asuka yell out through the howling wind.

"Shinji…. damn you wake up!"

"Asuk…. Asuka?" He managed to creep out before he began to cough horribly.

"HANG ONTO ME!" Asuka called out as she put his arm around her shoulder and trudged through the snow. "DON'T LET GO! HANG ON!"

He looked around, all he could see was blinding snow falling furiously and they were in the middle of it, stuck. Shinji felt cold down to his core. He shivered violently and was holding onto Asuka with every last bit of strength he had.

He couldn't imagine he had fallen asleep in the cold, icy wasteland but somehow he had and he wished he were still back within that dream, a dream he was hoping and praying would someday come true. Now though he could feel his fever ravage his body and he felt sick and congested as he coughed loudly and horribly, spitting up phlegm.

"HANG ON, SHINJI!" Asuka yelled out through the howling winds as she trudged through the snow to what Shinji could make out as a large rock structure.

He began to feel exhaustion claim him again and his body began to become limp as he lost his grip from around Asuka's shoulder and fell face first into the snow. "SHINJI!" Asuka called out, as she knelt down and rolled him onto his back. He was still breathing but she could tell it was shallow and he looked so sick. "SHINJI, DAMN YOU, STAY WITH ME."

"Asuka…." Shinji whispered as he looked at her through half lidded eyes. "Leave me, Asuka."

"NO! GET UP! GET UP, SHINJI! IT'S ONLY A LITTLE MORE. COME ON."

"Asuka, I'm going to die." He said to her as he looked at her. "Go on. Save yourself. I want to go back to that place. Asuka, its okay if I die…. I'll be okay."

"NO! I don't want to live if your not there! Get up damn you!"

"No………" Shinji could not find the strength; he simply looked back at her and closed his eyes.

He allowed himself to drift off into that warm place he had been a short while ago and there he saw her again, feeling pleasure sweep throughout his body and as quick as that dream had happened…it was gone when he felt Asuka grab his arm and trudge through the snow with his head on her shoulder and his arm around her other shoulder, carrying both the weight of him, and the backpacks.

Chapter 48

Asuka fought with every last bit of strength she had. She had no idea Shinji would be so heavy and she commanded herself to go forward and walk into the cave. She let out a sigh of relief when they made it.

She walked a few feet into the cave and rested Shinji down on the ground, against a cave wall. He shivered and coughed loudly and she looked at him wide eyes, his color was so pale and he looked like he was in agony. She quickly removed his backpack and her own.

She rummaged through them and found their cigarette lighter and then quickly, she began gathering dry sticks in the cave and anything else that would burn. She found some rocks and arranged them into a circle and then tried desperately to light a fire.

She was successful. The light started small and then got larger and then she grabbed Shinji and dragged him over to it, leaning him up against the rocky cave wall and finding one of his shirts for a pillow that she placed behind his head.

"Asuka…" he said through chattering teeth and then she watched as he shivered and looked at her with a small smile. "Let me die, Asuka…just let me die. I can't…"

Asuka's eyes went wide. She gasped and stared into his face, yelling out angrily. "Fuck you! I will not let you die! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE, SHINJI! Why did you do it, Shinji? Why did you give me your jacket? Why did you go up this mountain with only the sweaters on? You're sick now because of me! Well, you stupid fuck? Were you trying to kill yourself and me too? Is that it?"

Shinji chuckled and coughed. "No.…I just knew we had to go…." He looked back at her and said softly through a raspy voice. "I had to do it. We have to go over this mountain! We have to!"

"You're sick now though! It's because of me, Shinji!" Asuka's voice began to crack as she felt tears in her eyes. "You shouldn't have given me your jacket! I hurt you! I made you sick! It's my entire fault! You're sick because of me…." Asuka's voice trailed off as she felt a tear come down her face. "Its because of me." She whispered as she turned her head away from him so he wouldn't see her cry.

"Asuka!" He quickly pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "No, it's not your fault." He whispered to her as he held her against his chest and heard her cry against him. "I insisted on going up the mountain. I was the one who gave you the jacket to wear. You were cold, Asuka. I didn't want you to be cold. So I gave it to you. It was me, its my fault, my doing, its not you…its not you at all." He kissed the top of her head, holding her against him while he heard her cry. "I did this, Asuka. Not you."

"But you didn't have to…." Asuka's voice trailed off as she held him and cried against him.

Shinji chuckled and held her tighter as he rested his head against hers saying. "You're not sick though. You're okay, Asuka. Asuka, its okay." He whispered. "I'm sorry, Asuka. I'm just…. I can't anymore…I'm too…. tired. I made a mistake…. I thought I could but I can't…. I can't…."

Asuka sat up and tried to choke back the tears. "No, Shinji." She said to him as she brushed the hair from his face. "Don't' die on me! You bastard! Don't you die on me! Don't you leave me, you fucking idiot!"

She looked into his face and he looked back to her. She saw him shivering, his color was pale but his eyes were burning for her.

"I want to stay with you, Asuka but I don't think I can. I…. don't think I have a choice, Asuka. I feel so tired."

"Shinji…. no." Asuka said as she looked back at him. "I won't let you die! Don't you dare leave me! Hang on a second, let me get this fire burning brighter okay?"

"Asuka…. I" Shinji could only watch her and lean his head back; all the while he coughed loudly and felt so tired.

Asuka broke from him and went to the fire; she kept one eye on the fire and the other one on him, checking back and forth between the two.

The snowstorms raged from the outside of the cave and inside Shinji coughed and shuddered as he tried his best to keep warm. Asuka was busy adding as many sticks as she could to the fire.

"Hang on, Shinji!" She said nervously. "Hang on."

Again, he coughed and leaned back against the wall of the cave shivering. He found himself drifting back to that warm place. A smile crossed his face as he saw her in front of him again and he was holding her, he never wanted to let her go. His eyes were shut and he felt the sleep take hold of him. He wanted it. He wanted her. He could feel warmth come to him and he could feel happiness. It was wonderful.

"Asuka" he breathed out.

Asuka's head turned and her eyes went wide. "NO! " She yelled out as she jumped in front of him and shook him. "No, Shinji! Don't go to sleep yet! DON'T!"

Shinji found the cold hit him again as he opened his eyes and looked back to her, pleading with her. "I'm so tired, Asuka." He said to her in a raspy voice. "I…I…just want to sleep. Let's go back…let's go to that warm place…. where I hold you forever…where I know the truth…. Take me there."

"No, damnit!" Asuka called out as she rubbed his arms trying her best to warm him. "Shinji? Listen to me you fucking idiot! Stay awake, okay? Stay with me, Shinji!"

"I want to go back, Asuka…"

"No Shinji! You can't go back there, if you go back, you'll die! You need to stay with me! Stay here with me, Shinji!" Asuka yelled out. "I have to get you out of these wet clothes! You have to stay here now! I'm here now! Stay with me, okay? Don't go to sleep!"

Shinji looked back at her and then nodded his head. "I'll …I…I'll try." He said sleepily as he wheezed through his breathing, and then he said with a smile in a low voice. "Asuka, it's so beautiful there though. We're there and its summer. The sky is blue; the grass is green. I see you. You're standing there in the middle of a wild flower field and you look beautiful. The wind blows through your hair and you wearing that yellow sundress that I love seeing you in. It takes my breath away. I want to go there because…I know the truth and we're happy. We're happy every day. Every day is like a dream."

Asuka's face dropped to worry. She grabbed a hold of him and dragged him as close as she could to the fire. "Shinji, stay with me…." She pleaded as she looked at him. She quickly began to undo the soaked boots he had been wearing and pulled them off. She then pulled off her gloves and placed her hand on his forehead and her eyes widened. "Oh my god! Shinji, you're burning up!"

"Burning up?" he asked her as he breathed in with a chuckle and rested his head back. "I…am freezing."

"Shinji, listen to me. You've got a really bad fever! These clothes are wet; they'll only make you sicker. I'm going to help you. You have to take these clothes off."

"Asuka…" he whispered as he again shut his eyes.

"I'm getting you out of these wet clothes, they will only make you sicker! Don't fall asleep…. tell me things…anything…just don't fall asleep just yet. Okay?"

"Okay." He told her.

"So tell me something okay?" Asuka said as she quickly worked off his the two sweaters he was wearing and then worked off his pants. As she unbuttoned his shirt, she touched his chest and gasped as she felt his skin. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Shinji, you're like ice!" She took off his shirt and then quickly grabbed the big blanket out of her pack, wrapping it around Shinji. "Shinji, hang on! Don't leave me!" She cried out desperately.

"Asuka…sleep is warm…."Shinji said as he shut his eyes. "I feel so bad." He said to her in a raspy voice as he coughed and shivered. "Asuka, I'm sorry."

"Don't say things like that, Shinji!" She said to him gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that's sorry, Shinji. I was so wrong…" Her voice trailed off as she bowed her head for an instance and then propped him up; he shuddered from the cold.

"It's okay, Asuka. I forgive you. Asuka…I…I…can't…. stay…. I need to go…I am going back…. that place is warm…you're there with me…. and we're happy. Let's go together. Let's go back." He said through a whisper as he smiled at her and wheezed.

"NO!" She yelled out as she looked at him. Tears streamed down her face while the wind howled from the outside. "Stay here with me! You'll get better, Shinji! You have to!"

"I…. can't, Asuka…. I just…. I…. know I'm dying but Asuka…. I…." Shinji felt the last of his strength give out. His breathing became shallow, his eyes started to flutter, and he slumped down against the cave wall.

Asuka's eyes widened. She gasped while a tear rolled out of her eye. "No, Shinji. Don't die!" She cried.

Asuka's heart began to beat rapidly as she tried to hold him up. His eyes opened half way and looked at her, yet he had no strength to sit up. "Please don't leave me, Shinji! I need you! Shinji, don't leave me!"

Shinji's breathing was labored. He squeezed his eyes shut and coughed.

"SHINJI! GODDAMNIT, DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! SHINJI! SHINJI!"

Shinji was barely alive. She shook him all she could but he would not move, his body was limp, and all though he still was breathing, and semi conscious, he would not move.

Asuka's voice was strained with sobs as she tried to hold him up. "No, Shinji! You can't…you can't leave me here! I can't be alone! No, Shinji! Don't leave me…Damnit, Shinji, I'm sorry! I was so wrong what I did to you! I'd take it all back if I could!" Asuka held him up, propping him against the cave wall and then said to him in a tearful whisper. "Listen to me, Shinji! I need you, Shinji, don't leave me." She put her head against his chest, closed her eyes, as tears came down her cheeks and sobbed uncontrollably. "Don't go, Shinji. Not yet. Shinji, I was wrong! No, don't leave me, Shinji. Oh God, Shinji. I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! I was so wrong. . Don't leave me."

Shinji's eyes opened slowly and then widened as he breathed in. I have to tell her. I can't die without telling her.

Shinji shuddered as she sat up and stared into his face. He smiled at her and tried to fight exhaustion, he looked into her face as her tears started to fall. "Asuka, I…. I'm dying. You need to know something before it happens. I need to tell you something." He coughed again and squeezed his eyes shut and his breathing became shallow.

"No, Shinji! No!" She cried out. She shook him again and he opened his eyes, trying his best to stay awake.

Asuka continued to cry as she hugged his body. "Shinji, I was a fool! That night meant everything to me but I… I was so wrong what I did to you! I'm sorry, Shinji! Shinji, I was such a fool and so stupid! I am so sorry!"

Asuka looked deep into his face and watched as he coughed again and she held him close to her, rocking him gently back and forth, feeling tears come down her face and not sure of what to do.

He continued to cough horribly and shivered, then he leaned back against the cave wall and looked at her

Asuka took a deep breath as she looked back at him. He coughed horribly.

"Shinji! Take it easy okay!" She said as she put her arms around him and crushed him close to her. "Shinji…I'm going to help you, okay? You can't die yet, okay? You're not allowed to die, Shinji! Those are the rules! You can't die!" She said through a tear strained voice. "I'm going to help you."

His eyes fluttered back and he lost consciousness. She began to sob and shook him. He made small sounds as he looked at her with half lidded eyes.

Asuka felt tears stream down her cheeks, while she cried out. "SHINJI, NO!"

"Let me sleep, Asuka. I'm cold. Sleep is warm." He said weakly. "I'm so…. tired." Then he remembered, not yet. I have to tell her. I have to. If it's the last thing I ever say, I will tell her.

"You're not allowed to!" Asuka growled. "You stay with me! You watch me! Okay? Look at me."

"Asuka?" he said in a weak voice as he opened his eyes half way.

"I'll keep you warm. Sleep is not warm. I'll keep you warm. Watch me, Shinji. Look at me." She said to him as he opened his eyes halfway and looked at her while he shivered.

"Asuka…. I wanted to tell you something…. I never got to…. Oh, God, Asuka." He smiled and then whispered to her. "I'm such a coward." A tear came out of his eye and he said tearfully. "I've only told you this when you slept but I should have told you before this happened."

"No, you're not a coward." She told him.

"I am a coward!" he said through clenched teeth as he tried his best to stay awake and look at her. Then he breathed out and said softly. "I've been afraid of telling you. Asuka, look at me?" He asked as he looked down at her and she looked up into his eyes, seeing a tear roll out of them, he took her hand into his own and said in a raspy, tearful voice. "I wanna tell you something' right now just in case, I don't get the chance to later. I may never be able to say this again…so I'm gonna tell you now…. You need to know this, whether you feel the same way or not, despite everything that happened…. I am saying this to you."

"Shinji, don't say things like that!" Asuka whispered. "You're not going to die, you fucking idiot! I won't let you…"

"I have to say this to you." He said to her as he smiled and looked deep into her eyes. He gently cupped her cheek with his other palm and then said. "Asuka, I love you."

A tear rolled out of Asuka's eye as she smiled at him, whispering. "Shinji…"

"I love you, Asuka." He said again with a smile while his eyes welled up with tears and then shivered as he felt exhaustion hit him while still trying to look at her. "I've wanted to tell you. I've always loved you. I may not get better so I wanted you to know in case…in case, I don't make it. If I can get better, I promise you you'll know just how much I love you but in case, I don't…and if I can…. if…"

"If you get better, Shinji? IF? IDIOT!" Asuka said with worry as she grabbed the blanket and said through tears. "You have to get better, Shinji! You just can't tell me you love me and then die on me! That's fucked up! That's too cliché! You idiot! Don't you know this isn't a movie or a book? You can't just say I love you and then die heroically! That's too fucked up!" She said with a smirk as she sniffled.

Shinji chuckled at her as he looked at her and then said in a raspy, weak voice. "Asuka?"

She sat up in front of him and felt a tear come out of her eye. When she felt her tears start to fall, she turned her face away. Then she looked deep into his face and said tearfully. "Shinji, I knew. I heard you when you said it. Shinji, you mean so much to me." Lightly, she put her palm against his cheek. He smiled at her and then she continued. . "Shinji, I…" then her voice trailed off in sobs and his heart nearly broke as he saw her.

"Don't cry, Asuka." He said to her. He reached up and lightly, wiped away her tears with his thumb as he cupped her cheek.

"Shinji?" She whispered tearfully as she covered his hand on her cheek with her own.

He smiled back at her and whispered to her. "Shush now…it's okay." He shut his eyes for an instant and smiled as he looked back to her. "I've told you what I've needed to. I can go knowing that."

She hugged him as she bought her arms around his neck and cried onto his shoulder. She said in a whisper. "Shinji…. you can't leave me. You have to get better! Please fight this with all of your strength! I need you! You can't die!"

Shinji looked back to her and she saw a tear roll out of his eye as he looked at her.

As she looked into his face, she cupped both of his cheeks and then said gently. "Here's a reason to live, Shinji! You want a reason? Here's a damned good one! I love you too. I love you so much, Shinji! My life would be nothing without you! Don't go…"

"…. What did you say?" He asked as his eyes went wide and a smile began to form on his face.

Asuka breathed in, wiping away tears from her eyes. She took a deep breath as she shut her eyes and then opened them slowly and looked into his eyes. She smiled at him, sniffled and then said in a soft voice. "I love you, Shinji."

Shinji's eyes went wide and his smile was even wider, he placed his hands on her cheeks. "Asuka?" he asked as he stared into her eyes. "Did you just say…that…. you love me?"

Asuka nodded her head and smiled gently, answering in a soft voice. "Yes So you can't die okay? Let me help you get better."

"Say it again, Asuka." He said to her with a smile as she looked back into his face, and he moved his face closer to hers.

"I love you." She whispered to him as she came closer to him

"One more?" He asked.

Asuka laughed and kissed his forehead. Then she looked into his eyes saying. "I love you, Shinji."

"Say it just once more." He said to her as he breathed heavy and looked at her face with a wide smile.

"You are such an idiot!" Asuka said with a laugh, as she put her forehead against his. She touched his cheek lightly, whispering. "I love you, Shinji Ikari."

He chuckled as he bought his arms around her waist and felt tears of joy in his eyes.

Shinji breathed in deeply and then moved in for a kiss to her lips, which was greeted by her hand lightly touching his lips.

"You fool your sick!" Asuka growled.

Shinji breathed out happily and held her to him. "You've made me happier then I've ever been in my life. I've wanted to hear you say that for so long."

"I've wanted to tell you," she said as she put her head on his chest and her arms around him. She listened to his heartbeat, which was now starting to get stronger. ", I was scared though…. I was afraid, Shinji. I was so afraid of how I felt. I thought I was losing my strength. I thought if I loved you, I would be weak."

"That's silly." He told her. "It's okay to have someone be strong for you too. I can be." He told her.

Asuka shut her eyes and breathed out as she listened to him and then said gently. "Shinji…. I have to be strong for me…. my strength is all I have left in this world…."

"No, its not, Asuka. Your strength isn't the only thing you have left. You don't have to be afraid, Asuka. There's nothing to be afraid of. You can never lose your strength because love doesn't take strength. Love is strength, Asuka." Shinji told her with a grin. "You told me once that I would need to find my strength in order to get through the pain in my heart and it was because of you. You gave me love and that love bought out my strength. So you see, Asuka, I know where strength comes from. It comes from love." He breathed out as he felt the heat from her body and sighed happily, saying to her. "You feel so good against me like that." Shinji said with a smile. "I wish I wasn't sick. You're in my heart, Asuka. Let me be strong for you, Asuka. Do you think I can give you strength too? Do you think I can be strong for you?"

Asuka looked up at him. She nodded at him as tears came down her face. "I know how strong you are. I believe in you." She said to him with a smile. "I never knew what it was like to be loved, until I met you. I know you can be strong for me." Asuka told him gently.

He smiled at her and then said to her gently. "I want to kiss you so bad. I wish I wasn't so sick. I wish I wasn't dying." He said to her as he looked at her.

"You won't die! I will make you better." Asuka said to him as she hugged him again and kissed him on his cheek. "Now, you can count on me. You've saved me a million times over. You've saved me in so many ways. You didn't just save me from an animal or a fall; you've saved my life because I always knew you loved me. Now, I'm going to save you. My love will make you better and I'll take care of you. You know something, I was such a fool!" She said as she held him. "What I didn't realize was I was so afraid of losing my strength because of love and what I came to know was, my strength comes from you. My strength is because I love you. Right now I have so much strength and I am giving it to you. You are the reason for my strength, you've always been. You can't die. You're the source of my strength."

Shinji laughed. "I knew you loved me, Asuka. I always knew it. You couldn't hide it from me. You let your pride control you too much but I saw it. I knew it was there." He said with a smirk

Asuka looked into his face again and gently, she kissed him on the forehead. Then she got up and went over to the backpacks.

Asuka rummaged through her pack trying to find anything. If he had been at home, a doctor would have given him medicine to make him better but there was no doctor and they had no home.

They had been stuck wandering the Earth for nearly two years and now it was all left up to her whether Shinji lived or died. She went through Shinji's pack and opened it. Then she pulled out the other blanket that Shinji usually used to sleep in.

As she looked at Shinji, his face was very pale, almost white and beads of sweat were on his forehead. He shuddered and coughed horribly. Yet he continued to watch her and smile, no matter how terrible he felt or how much he wanted to rest. She grabbed the blanket and knew what she had to do.

"I…I'm cold, Asuka…. but I want to know…if …" He said to her in a raspy whisper that trailed off as he watched her. Shinji shuddered from the cold and watched as she undid the buttons on her shirt. He chuckled and then said. "What are you doing?'"

Asuka shot an annoyed look at him and then said. "I'm going to keep you warm. "

"Asuka, I'm so cold…. but what are you doing…" Shinji's eyes widened and then he smirked as he watched her in front of him.

"Listen you, idiot. This is not what you think." Asuka said as she took off her shift and then lifted up the turtleneck that she had been wearing underneath.

Shinji's eyes shot open as he looked back to her dazed and slightly confused but he couldn't help to smile as he watched her undress in front of him. "Asuka?"

"Shinji, don't get the wrong idea about this, okay?" Asuka said nervously as she groaned as she removed her clothes and Shinji watched as she undressed. A large smile crossed his lips and she shot an annoyed look at him as he watched her undress.

"What…. are you doing?" He asked with a smile.

"Idiot! Stop watching me!" She demanded as she removed the last of her attire and then pressed her body, clad in only a bra and panties, up against his.

His eyes widened and he gasped then said. "Damn, ……" He told her with a smile

"What?" She asked as she looked at him.

"Your body." He said.

"What about it?" Asuka asked in an annoyed tone.

"I like you against me."

"You pervert!" Asuka growled.

:"Yeah, I know but you feel so good against me like that." Shinji said as he felt her against his body and smiled as he looked down at her, breathing shallowly.

"Good." Asuka said as she grabbed the blanket wrapping the warm blanket around them both.

Shinji smiled as he leaned his head back and felt the warmth of her body against his own and felt her arms wrap around him.

"Listen to me, I'm going to keep you warm with my body heat. You can't die on me. I need you. So, don't do that, okay? You are not allowed to die! That's the rule, Shinji! Rule number two: you're not allowed to die. Besides, rule number two follows rule number one. Where you go, I'll go. If you die, I'll die. I won't let you." She said as tears streamed down her face. "Hopefully this brings the fever down a little. Skin to skin body heat is quicker then a fire and you won't go into shock."

"I won't die on you." He said with a grin as he looked down at her and wrapped his arms around her. "I need you too. I won't…leave you ever."

"Then stay awake and tell me some more things, okay? Anything you want."

"Anything?" he asked and then he smirked as he said. "The time you snuck into my bed, back in Tokoyo-3, did you really know that I tried to kiss you?"

"That time in Tokoyo-3?" Asuka asked as she blushed.

"Yeah." He said.

"I knew it." Asuka whispered.

"Why did you call out Kaji's name?"

"To…. distract you." Asuka said nervously.

"Why?" he asked her.

"Because I…was afraid of falling in love and I was starting to feel that way about you. Shinji, you have to understand. I always had to be strong."

She placed her head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was slowing down and she became nervous as she wrapped her arms around him tighter and let tears fall from her eyes.

"I couldn't show weakness ever." Asuka said as she bit her lip and spoke softly. "It was why I put up the fronts I did and why I always had to be the best. My mother had been weak and killed herself because of it. I never wanted to be that way. I also loved her so much and when she died, I stopped believing in love because everyone I love dies." Her voice trailed off as she buried her head against his chest. "I want to tell you something about that night of the storm. I did make love to you that night. I fell more in love with you that night than ever before. When I felt it though and when I heard you say it to me when you thought I was asleep…. that's when I…I…. lashed out at you…. but, I …I just…. couldn't allow myself to be weak. I felt that night on the storm when I woke up crying because of the memories of Unit 2, I felt so weak. When I was with you though, you…. gave me strength. My pride got in the way though, I thought if I admitted to loving you I'd lose my strength. I was so stupid for thinking that. You know when I felt like I lost my strength? When we were fighting, I felt so weak and alone. I felt like I lost my strength and it was because, I felt like I lost you."

"You'll never lose me." He told her gently with a smile as he leaned his head back and felt warmth come throughout his body. "I will protect you and love you forever."

Asuka continued to hold him throughout the night, talking to him, telling him anything to keep him awake, she knew he was very tired and needed rest but she also knew that if his fever didn't break, he could more then likely die.

"I'm so tired." He whispered to her.

"I know. " She said as she felt a tear come out of her eye. " You can't sleep yet though. You have to stay awake. Stay with me, Shinji."

"Will you tell me something?"

"I'll tell you anything you want to know." Asuka said in a tear-strained voice.

"Did you break my SDAT player that time?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes." Asuka said with a laugh. "But it was only because…I was trying to make your bed for you. I don't even know why I did that. I guess, I just wanted to be nice and the other reason was, I hated the way you never made your bed. I didn't know it was underneath the sheet! Besides, I bought you a new one."

"I know." He told her gently.

"Why did you used to listen to that thing so much?"

"To escape reality." Shinji said as he held her. "I hated my life. I hated myself. I hated being in the EVA. I was scared of everyone. I hated my father. How could someone hate his or her own father? I wanted to love my father but I couldn't. I felt like he never gave a damn about me. Why should I give a damn about him? Music was always my escape. I could hide in it and be anything I wanted to be. When I was playing the cello, I used to feel that way…like I could disappear in the notes."

"I used to love to listen to you play." Asuka said. "The first time I heard you play, I just watched you and saw how much emotion it pulled from you. I think I stood there and just closed my eyes, feeling how beautiful that music was. I couldn't believe you could do that. That was when I realized that I felt something for you. I didn't know what it was at first, but all I knew is you were special to me."

"Did you really sneak into my bed that night? You weren't sleepwalking, were you? Did you do that purposely?" he asked.

"No. I wasn't sleepwalking." She said with a laugh. "I wanted to be next to you."

"You should have let me kiss you that night." He whispered to her.

"I distracted you because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stop kissing you." Asuka said.

Shinji smirked and then said. "Yeah, I could see how we could have gotten out of control. Is that why you pinched my nose too? Were you afraid of…. getting out of control?"

"NO! I pinched your nose because your breath tickled me." Asuka smirked and laughed. He chuckled too as he held her closer and kissed the top of her head.

"Oh so that was it?" he asked with a laugh.

Asuka laughed again and then said gently. "I can't believe I've told you what I've hidden inside of myself for so long."

"Me neither." He told her. "I'm glad though." He said with a smile.

"Me too." She said.

"You know, I think I really understand you now. I think I can see why you did the things you did and why you were afraid. You were like me, Asuka. We were meant to find each other." He said with a smile as he held her but then he coughed violently and Asuka held him. He leaned back and breathed in, looking back at her. "Goddamned flu!" Shinji growled out.

"It'll be okay." Asuka said gently. "I'm here and it'll be fine."

Over the next few hours, they stayed up and talked about anything and everything basically. Their secrets were revealed and there was no hiding. They were completely and totally honest.

Asuka raised her hand and bought it to his forehead. He wasn't as hot as he had been before. He was still warm with a fever but it was a lot cooler now and Asuka breathed a sigh of relief as she again gave him more water and then allowed him to lie down while she tended to him.

"Stay with me." He whispered to her as he reached for her arm.

"Of course I will." She said as she bought the blanket around them more and laid close to his body resting her head on his chest, hearing his heart beat slow and steady now while she hugged his body.

"Feels so good." He told her.

"I know, idiot. Rest."

"You'll stay?' he asked her

"Always." She responded as she closed her eyes and tried to rest.

"I can sleep now?" he asked.

"Yes." She said. "You can."

"Okay." He said as he closed his eyes with a smile across his lips as he drifted back off to his dream of being in that warm place with her. "Don't leave me, Asuka." He whispered.

"I won't." she said. "I'll stay right here with you. I'll be with you forever."

Shinji breathed in and then began to drift off to sleep but before he did he whispered to her. "I love you."

Asuka held him closer and whispered back. "I love you too."

Chapter 49

In the middle of the night, Shinji started to shiver violently and then Asuka woke up, quickly putting her hand to his forehead. "Schist!" She growled. "That damned fever again! You're burning up! What do I do?"

Shinji was shivering and coughing horribly. Beads of sweat were on his face and he made small groaning sounds as he shivered.

Quickly, Asuka jumped out from underneath the blanket and threw on her clothes. She then grabbed a small rag and ran out towards the entrance of the cave. She saw ice and then with a rock, broke off several pieces and wrapped them in the rag and then came back to Shinji.

"Here." She said as she placed the rag of ice on his forehead.

Shinji breathed out and then began to breathe in deeply as the cooling sensation hit him. She wrapped him up tight in the blanket and watched as he shivered and coughed. As the cooling sensation of the ice calmed him down, he stopped shivering and then breathed normally.

She took some water and poured it into one of the mugs. She took the ice rag from his head and put her hand behind his head and then bought the cup to his lips. "Drink some of it." She said. "You've got to drink as much as you can, okay?"

He nodded at her and then Shinji took slow sips and then breathed out. She let him rest again and carefully watched him. She took another rag and then dipped it in the cold water and lightly patted his face with it. She hoped it could bring his fever down.

She continued to do that for quite some time and then she gave him more water to drink. She sat him back down on the ground and watched, as he seemed to get worse and not better.

Then she went to the backpacks and rummaged through looking for food. Their rations were small but she found a small cup of soup and quickly made some for him.

She came back over to him after the soup was done and then gently fed him spoonful by spoonful. He took it down and then a few hours later when she checked his fever again, she noticed he was starting to sweat and finally, the fever was breaking.

"Oh thank god." She said aloud as she breathed out.

She let him get some much-needed rest and then walked over to the entrance of the cave, it was still snowing, badly. The snows were worse then before and she wondered how long she would be here for and when the snows would stop.

Asuka kept a careful watch on Shinji as she watched him sleep. He seemed to be getting a little better but he was still so sick and she knew the only thing that could keep him alive was she.

She walked back over to the backpacks and checked on their supplies. She rummaged through the backpacks and looked at their food situation and a pit formed in her stomach. Two cans? That's it? How can this be all that's left? Shit!

Then she heard a noise and turned and saw it. "What the hell…" At first, she was surprised to see it. It was gray with a long tail and teeth and it was right near Shinji. "Fuck!" Asuka growled as she picked up the bat. "Get away you goddamned rat!" She yelled out as she smashed the bat.

The rat made a loud noise and then hopped on the blanket covering Shinji, sitting on his leg. Shinji stirred slightly but continued to rest.

Asuka narrowed her eyes and tightened her grip on the bat. "If you bite him, you're dead." She told the rat.

The rat made another noise and then Asuka growled out and swung at the rat. She hit the rat dead on in the head and knocked it into the cave wall. She ran over to it and watched, as it seemed to struggle for life.

"Die!" She yelled out and then she hit it repeatedly in the head hard with the bat.

Blood splattered from the rat and then she saw it was no longer moving and it was dead. "Fucking rat!" She growled. Then an idea crossed her head, "Rats? Ewe…well, its either that or…. ugh! Rats!"

Chapter 50

"Asuka…"

She turned and saw him looking up at her, his eyes were opened half way and his color was pale. She quickly turned to him, kneeling beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Stomach." He said in a raspy whisper. "I…. feel sick."

"Are you gonna throw up?" Asuka asked.

"Don't know." He responded as she helped him sit up.

She reached nearby for a small pot and then gave it to him. "Go ahead." She said to him. "Its all right."

Shinji took the pot and held it nearby. He felt a little better and then decided to lie down. He shivered and Asuka covered him with the blanket. Then he sat up and grabbed the pot.

Shinji took a deep breath and then vomited into the pot, his whole body shook. . Asuka held him and then she smelled something horrible coming from him and Shinji growled out. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck!"

Asuka picked up the blanket and looked underneath. She grimaced as the smell hit her immediately. Goddamnit. She thought as she pulled back the blanket. "Okay." She said gently. "Wait here."

"Oh God." He said as he looked up at her. "I can't believe I…. fucking shit myself! Damnit!"

"Its all right." She said to him. "I'll take care of you."

She took the soiled blanket away. He shivered and blushed. "I feel like an ass." He said.

"C'mon." She said as she knelt beside him and put her arms underneath his armpits. "Help me out here, get to your feet."

Shinji forced himself to get up and then she helped him over to the fire where she sat him down on the ground. Shinji shivered as he sat naked near the fire. Asuka quickly grabbed a warm rag and a towel. She took the small bar of soap out of the pack and then rubbed it against the warm, wet rag. She began to wash him and he shut his eyes as he felt her touch on him. She washed him thoroughly making sure he wasn't soiled anywhere, even though, he squirmed as she washed his rear. After she was done, she dried him and then wrapped him up in her blanket. He breathed in as he felt the warmth of the blanket surround him, and then she lay him down, near the fire, as he looked up at her and shut his eyes.

"Rest for a minute, okay?" Asuka said, as he made sure he was covered up.

Shinji nodded his head and breathed in as she got up and took the warm rag and the towel and put it in the corner, then she washed her hands and came back to him settling beside him.

She reached for the one of their camping cups and poured water into it. Then she took her arm behind his back and helped him up as she bought the cup to his lips.

"I don't want it!" he growled as he turned his face away.

"Drink it right now!" She demanded.

"NO!" He said as he shivered. "I'm NOT thirsty! I don't want it!"

Asuka sighed angrily and then said in a demanding tone. "If you don't' drink it, you'll get dehydrated and die! Drink the fucking water right now! Drink it or I'll pour it down your fucking throat!"

He looked back at her and then took the cup into his hands and drank the water as she told him to. When he was done, she gave him more and made sure he drank at least three cups.

"No more of it." He whispered to her.

"Okay." She said as she laid him down. "Rest now. Okay?"

"Okay." He told her. "It really stinks in here, doesn't it?" he asked her. "I'm sorry, Asuka."

"Shut up, idiot." Asuka said as she kissed his forehead. "Don't worry I'll take care of it."

"I'm sorry." He said as he looked at her slightly embarrassed.

"Don't be." She said to him with a smile. 'You're sick and I'll take care of you okay? Rest now."

Shinji smiled and then she laid him down and he looked up at her as he closed his eyes. She made sure that he was wrapped up in the blanket and lightly stroked his hair as she looked at him.

Asuka took a deep breath as she looked over at the mess on the other side of the fire and then went over to clean it up. She couldn't believe the stench that emanated from that spot. She then took the soiled clothes and blanket and washed them both out, leaving them to dry.

After she was done cleaning up the mess, she felt gross and decided to wash herself. She hid in a small corner of the cave that she was sure he couldn't see from where he was and she washed herself.

It was absolutely disgusting what he did but she also knew that he had no control and he was sick. As much as she hated it, she knew that right now he was her only chance for life and she would make sure he would get better.

After she was done bathing and put on fresh clean clothes, she took a small piece of bread and put it up on a rock and waited, holding the large bat in her hand, and then she saw one. It came out from the cave and nibbled on the bread.

"Hello sucker." Asuka said with a smirk as she tightened her grip around the bat and then she came at it. She called out as she moved quickly, swung hard and hit it dead on in the skull, knocking it into the wall and killing it instantly. "Homerun!" Asuka smirked. "One rat-tat-tooly coming up." She joked as she looked back at Shinji.

He was sound asleep, still shivering and sweating and she hoped that he would get better soon. She then went over to the dead rat and picked up by its tail and carried it over to the small cooking station she had made up.

Taking her knife in her hand and staring down at the rat, she began to chop at it all the while feeling sick to her stomach at what she was doing.

Chapter 51

For the next few days, Shinji did one of two things, he either slept or he ate. Asuka became increasingly worried when it would seem like his fever would break and then suddenly pick up again.

One night was especially cold. The snows and the wind blew harshly outside the cave. Asuka had piled on as much clothing as she could to stay warm and tried her best to keep the fire burning. She had bundled up Shinji as best as she could but she noticed that he kept shivering and no matter how hard she tried to keep him warm, he seemed like he was still cold.

She had been exhausted and restless because mostly she had one eye on keeping the cave secure and the other on Shinji.

As she took a nap, she woke up to the sounds of a horrible hacking cough. Immediately, she jumped up from her sleep and went over to Shinji.

He was shaking violently. His color was very pale. Sweat poured down his forehead and her eyes widened, as he seemed to wheeze as he breathed.

"Shinji, oh my God!" Asuka cried out nervously. She grabbed the blanket that she used for sleeping in and then threw it on top of the blanket that he was all ready wrapped up in. She went over to the fire and took one of the stores surrounding it and placed it on top of the blanket. She felt his forehead and she gasped. "Oh my God no! You're burning up again!" She quickly reached for a small rag and then got up, going over to the cave entrance. She broke off ice chips and then wrapped them up in the rag and ran back to him.

He looked up at her as he shivered and said in a raspy, weak voice. "As…Asuka, come here."

Asuka's eyes widened as she kneeled beside him and gently ran her hand through his hair while she patted his face down with the rag. . "Oh God! Shinji, no, don't leave me." She said as tears ran down her face.

He smiled at her and looked into her eyes. He reached for her hand and held it gently in his hand as he bought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm gently.

Asuka began to cry as she looked at him. She came closer to him and gently kissed his forehead whispering. "Don't leave me now."

He laid his head back and held her hand against his chest as he said. "I love you, Asuka."

"I love you too. No. Don't go now. It's not fair, Shinji, we haven't been able to…start our lives yet. You can't go." Asuka said painfully as her tears fell from her eyes onto his face. "Don't…"

"It'll be ok…" he said as his voice trailed off, he smiled at her as he looked into her eyes and then he breathed out, Asuka felt his grip loosen and then watched as life disappeared from him.

"SHINJI!" Asuka yelled out as she felt her heart break.

She tore off the blanket and put her head to his chest. There was nothing. Her eyes got wide and she gasped and then she laid her face down onto his chest. She began to shake and then she sobbed uncontrollably.

"NO!" She cried out as she raised her head and looked towards the ceiling. "DON'T TAKE HIM FROM ME! I WON'T LET YOU! NOT NOW! NOT YET! NOT EVER! NO, SHINJI! NO!"

She straddled his body and then began to do chest compressions, trying to remember her first aid training. She pushed down into his chest with both of her palms with all of her strength counting five compressions at a time, while tears streamed down her cheeks.

She came to the other side of his body where she tilted his head back and then pinched his nose as she opened his mouth. She knew that he had been sick and the odds of her getting sick from this were high but in order to save his life, she would so whatever she had to do.

She covered his mouth with her own as she breathed into him and watched his chest go up and then exhaled, then she breathed into him again and watched as his body blew out the air she had just blown into his lungs.

She sat up and pressed down on his chest again as her tears ran down her face. "COME BACK TO ME, SHINJI!" She cried out. "COME BACK!"

She continued with all of her strength as tears came down her face.

Then, she realized that nothing was happening. Shinji remained still.

She shut her eyes and began to bawl as she felt her heartache. She continued to do compressions on his chest as she cried, refusing to give up. "No." She whispered. "Please, God, don't leave me alone here. Don't take him from me. Bring him back! Please, bring him back to me. Please? He's the one I love. He's the one I'm supposed to be with forever. Don't take him yet. We haven't even started. I know I was wrong! I admitted it! I swear, I'll never hide away again! I just want him! He's my heart. GIVE HIM BACK!"

She continued to cry. Her heart was shattered yet she wasn't giving up. She continued with the compressions and breathed into his mouth. . How could this have happened? Why did he have to die? NO! I wont' give up.

Then, Asuka's eyes widened and she gasped as she looked down at him.

He breathed in with his eyes wide. She looked down and saw his chest was going up and down. She put her ear down to his chest and then heard and felt it. It was his heartbeat and it was strong.

"You're alive." She said as she breathed out and looked into his face.

He coughed, and continued to breathe in deeply as she covered him with the blanket. She put her fingers near his neck and felt his pulse and it was strong.

She was hoping he wouldn't die but the damn flu had been strong and she didn't know how long he had actually been sick for. "Shinji…" She said as she placed her palm against his cheek. "You came back to me!"

Shinji reached for her hand and opened his eyes halfway and said. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"I almost lost you." She said as she gently stroked his hair and looked into his face. She sniffled as she looked at him and tears came down her face. "Let me get you some water, okay?"

Shinji nodded and then watched as she got up to get a cup of water and then came back to him. She sat down next to him and bought her arm underneath him and helped him sit up as she helped him sip from the cup. Then she gently laid him back down.

He looked up at her and then said. "Come here."

Asuka smiled at him as she lifted up the blanket and lay down next to him, placing her head against his chest and hugging his body. She closed her eyes and then breathed out a sigh of relief as she said. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"I won't." he said in a weak voice. "I promise."

Chapter 52

He found himself naked underneath the blanket and wasn't quite sure of where he was or what was happening. He sat up still feeling pretty lousy and coughed. Everything to him had been a big blur.

Asuka sat over by the fire and turned her head as soon as she saw Shinji sit up and cough. .

"You're awake!" She said as she came over to him and smiled at him.

"Uh…yeah." He said as he looked at her. "Why am I naked?"

"Because you would have gotten hypothermia and died you idiot! I had to take off your clothes!"

"All of them?" he objected.

"Would you rather have died?" She asked as she put her hand on his forehead "Damnit, its still high."

"What's high?"

"You're fever! Stay underneath that blanket!" Asuka growled as she pulled the blanket up over him. "Stay as warm as you can. I've got to get that fever down. How do you feel?"

"I feel like crap!" he said. "All though a little better somewhat." Then he coughed. "How long have I been out for?"

"You've been sick for about a week. You've been sleeping for a couple of days." Asuka said.

"Couple of days?" Shinji asked as he looked at her wide-eyed. "How long have we been here?"

"Over a week." Asuka told him.

"How long?" he asked.

"Seven days." Asuka said as she looked at him. Asuka ran her hand through his hair and then looked at him asking gently. "Do you remember any of it at all?"

"No." he told her as he coughed again.

Asuka breathed in and then said. "You were burning up with a fever, you were delirious, coughing like crazy, and shaking. You were also vomiting with diarrhea and I took care of you!"

"You did?" he asked as he smiled at her.

"Who the hell else is going to do it you stupid fool!" she barked out as she went over to the fire and picked up a small pot. She came back to him and settled next to him, taking a soup from the pot and holding it out. "Open your mouth!"

"What is that?" Shinji asked as he sat up and looked into the pot full of brown liquid.

"It's food! Open!"

Shinji opened his mouth and then the taste hit him. "Ugh! Asuka, what the hell…"

"Well, someone's got to make us dinner. I admit it doesn't taste too great but it will keep your strength up. Now eat!"

Again, Shinji opened his mouth and she fed him again. "I can feed myself you know!" he protested.

"Too damn bad! Eat!" She growled as she again fed him another spoonful

"Okay, Asuka, that's enough!" Shinji growled.

"No, it's not! Eat damnit or I'll force it down your throat!"

Shinji again rolled his eyes and ate the food. It wasn't the best tasting stuff in the world. Actually it was gross but it did fill his stomach and the nourishment did make him feel better.

Asuka though, despite his protests, fed him the whole bowl and then was rewarded with the coolness of the water in the canteen, which he drank down until there was none left.

As Asuka washed out the pot, she was quiet. Shinji took a look at her and could see she was hiding something.

"What aren't you telling me?' he asked her as he watched her.

Asuka took a breath as she said. "I almost lost you."

Shinji looked at her and then said. "I…. almost died?"

"No, you did die." Asuka said as she wiped a tear away.

"I…. did?" he asked her.

"Yeah, but you came back." Asuka said with a smile.

"I did?" he asked her.

"Well, unless I'm speaking to a fucking zombie right now I would assume you're alive!".

Shinji chuckled at her and said. "Did you…. bring me back?"

Asuka breathed in as she looked at him and then nodded saying softly. "Yeah."

As he watched Asuka over by the fire as she melted snow into a large bucket and washed the pots out in, he smiled at her, suddenly remembering something he had heard her say.

"D…do you remember anything from when you were sick?" Asuka asked.

Shinji took a breath and smiled as he looked at her. "I remember you were there the whole time."

"Idiot! Who else would be?" She snapped as she looked at him and prepared coffee on the fire.

"Well, I…. remember hearing you say something to me…." He said to her as he looked at her with her cheeks flushed. "I mean…. do you remember…saying anything…. in particular…. to me?"

"Oh?" Asuka said as she looked back to him.

Shinji took a deep breath and then smiled at her, not knowing exactly what to say, or if he should. "…. I'm not sure exactly what that might have been though. I guess I was really out of it."

"Oh!" Asuka said. "Must have been."

"Thank you." He said to her with a smile as he looked at her.

Asuka managed a smile and then said to him. "Your welcome."

"Listen, can I get up? I have to go!"

"No." She demanded. "You're staying right there until that fever is gone."

"I'm fine, Asuka!" Shinji protested.

"I will decide when you are fine!" Asuka said angrily. "That fever is still high."

"But, Asuka…I have to GO!"

"One or two?" Asuka asked.

"What?" Shinji exclaimed.

"ONE OR TWO!" She yelled back. "PEE OR POOP! Is it that difficult to understand?"

Shinji's face became bright red as he looked at her and then stammered. "I…I…I. have to pee."

"Okay that's easy enough." Asuka got up and then took a can from the cave wall; she walked over to him and then handed it to him. "Okay do it in that."

"With you right here?" he asked.

"SHINJI, GODDAMNIT! JUST PEE! IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! FOR GOD SAKES I'VE SEEN YOU NAKED BEFORE ITS NOT A BIG DEAL."

"Yeah but…" Shinji asked as he became red in the face.

"SHINJI! I'VE SEEN YOU NAKED BEFORE! JUST DO IT." Asuka said.

Shinji took the can from her and put it underneath the blanket. Asuka stood arms crossed while she waited. Shinji, who was red in the face, simply looked up at her and then barked out. "AT LEAST TURN AROUND!"

"Oh my God! Shinji, you're forgetting…. I've seen you naked before!" She growled as she turned her back.

"It's different when you have to pee!" Shinji growled.

Shinji then relieved himself and then after he was done handed the can back to Asuka. Asuka in turn took the can and walked to the cave entrance and dumped it into the snow.

She came back and then picked up a moist towel and some soap and again settled down next to him.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"Sponge bath." She said.

"Sponge bath?" he asked.

"Just shut up!" Asuka demanded. "It'll be quick."

She placed the warm towel on his back and began to wash him. He at first became red in the face and then found himself enjoying the sensation and she washed him from head to toe. Even as she sat in front of him and scrubbed his chest, he couldn't help looking at her and finding a small smile across his lips.

"Are you still angry at me?" She asked as she washed him.

Shinji smirked and then said. "You saved my life. I think that's better then an apology. Thank you by the way, for saving my life."

"You're welcome." She said with a smile. "Well, I couldn't let you die, could I?"

As Asuka stared at him, she pulled back the covers and washed his abdomen and his legs.

She looked back to him, realizing that even though he was sick, he also looked good to her too and while she stared into his deep eyes, she could see that there was a longing in them…. a longing for her and in her heart, she had a longing for him as well.

Shinji lightly brushed his palm across her cheek and in an attempt that seemed a little bold to her, leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. At first it was all Asuka could not do to throw her arms around him and lay on top of him but then she remembered, he had been sick.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked as she broke away and looked at him angrily.

"Uh…kissing you?" he said with a smirk.

"I know but you're sick you idiot. You want to make me sick too?"

"Oh." He said as he became red in the face. "I'm sorry."

Asuka shook her head at him and put the moist towel down and then took a dry towel and then dried him off, he smiled at her the whole time, wanting desperately to take her into his arms. Yet, he resisted for as she reminded him, he had been sick.

"Here!" she said as she handed him some clothes. "Put those on. It'll keep you warm."

"Thanks." He told her as he put on the clean clothes.

"Now lay down after you've dressed and try to rest. I'll give you more to eat when you wake up."

"Asuka?"

"WHAT?" She growled as she looked back to him and found herself yet again locked into his eyes.

"Will you…lay beside me?"

"You've got to be kidding after the stunt you just pulled!" Asuka growled.

"I won't try anything else. I promise. Just…. lay next to me and keep me warm."

"Okay. Put those clothes on first."

"Okay." he said as he threw the shirt over his head and quickly threw the sweatpants on. After he was done, she came over to him and snuggled up beside him. .

"I told you, don't try anything."

"I'm not!" He protested. "I just…. I just want to hold you."

"Okay." She said as she rested her head on his chest and let his arms come around her. He breathed in and then shut his eyes and she did the same and they slept together soundly and peacefully.

Shinji awoke shortly after and saw her sound asleep next to him; he smiled as he looked at her. "I remember," he whispered to her with a smile. ", I love you, Asuka." Lightly, he brushed his hand through her hair and then shut his eyes.

Asuka's eyes opened half way and smiled at him then she closed them again.

Chapter 53

The following morning Shinji awoke to sounds of rocks sounding like they were being banged together. He sat up and coughed, feeling that his flu, still hadn't left him, but feeling better then he had in days.

He also heard a slew of profanities coming from the cave. He turned his head and saw Asuka taking rocks and putting them against the opening of the cave, and then back away quickly and run over to the fire, shivering.

Shinji's eyes grew worried as he watched her, and then she turned her head when she felt his eyes on her. "So you finally decided to get up, huh?" She said as she picked up a small pot from the fire with a rag around it and then came over to him and sat down beside him. 'You slept a good ten hours. How do you feel today?"

"Better." He said with a smile.

Instinctively, she removed her glove and put her hand to his forehead. "Goddamn fever!" She growled as she took a spoon from the pot and then bought it to his mouth.

"I don't feel sick today."

"Well, according to your temperature you still are sick. You still are warm. Therefore, you still have a fever."

Shinji stared at the pot and then looked back to her grimacing. "I'm not hungry."

"Shut up." She told him as she inched the spoon closer to his face.

He turned his head away and in anger, she reached for his nose, pinched it which made him exclaim at which point, she stuck the spoon in his mouth.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeech!" Shinji exclaimed as he swallowed her disgusting concoction.

"Oh just deal with it!" Asuka growled as she took another spoonful and fed it to him. "It will make you better. You have to eat to keep your strength up."

"What the hell is in that?" Shinji asked as she bought the spoon closer to him.

"You are better off eating and just shutting the fuck up!" Asuka growled as he opened his mouth and ate the food.

"I can feed myself you know!" Shinji growled as he picked up the handle of the pot and then began to eat the food himself, grimacing with each bite until he felt his belly was full. :"Is that enough?" He asked as she looked into the pot.

"That's fine." Asuka told him as she took the pot away from him and then went over to the fire with it and placed it in a larger pot with hot water in it, washing it out while he watched her.

"So what was that?"

"You don't' want to know." Asuka said.

"What did you just feed me?"

Asuka groaned and then said. "Rat stew."

'RAT?" Shinji yelled out. "YOU FEED ME A RAT?"

"You've been eating rats for days. So have I don't feel bad. Would you rather starve? You told me if we ran out of food, we would probably have to hunt so I hunted!"

Shinji's stomach felt queasy and then shook his head. "You hunted…. rats?"

"Shinji, we are OUT OF FOOD! We have to eat something. It was either hunt or starve well in my case; I lured the rats and then bashed them on the head with the baseball bat! We have no choice."

Shinji sighed and then said with a smirk. "Okay. Rats!"

Asuka laughed as she heard him.

Chapter 54

The following morning, Shinji awoke to the loud sound of "SCHIST!" The loud shrill German profanities were echoing throughout the cave. He also heard loud noises and sat up as he watched Asuka over by the entrance, pile rock on top of rock and then run back to the fire, shivering and trying to make it burn brighter.

"Fuck!" Asuka growled as she removed her gloves and rubbed her hands together.

"What's the matter?" Shinji asked as he sat up.

"Its bad out there." She said as she looked at him. "The snow isn't stopping…it wont' stop. It just keeps fucking going! I've been trying to block up the entrance a little so the cave stays warm. It's so fucking cold outside. Fucking snow won't stop!" Her voice cracked and then she looked back to the fire.

Shinji could see the worry in her face. He pushed the blanket back and then got ready to stand up.

"Shinji, do not move from that spot!"

"Asuka, I'm fine." He told her. "I feel stronger then I have in days."

"I will be the judge of when you can get out of bed. Your fever was down this morning but you were still warm so when you are feeling like a normal temp, I will let you out, until then you will not move."

"I am not a child!" Shinji growled. "I can decide for myself when I feel better."

"Shinji, please." Asuka said with pleading eyes. ", You almost died. In fact, you're heart stopped. I was able to bring you back. I don't want to lose you again. Please stay in bed until you are better."

Shinji sighed and then looked back to her, nodding his head. "Okay." He said to her as he sat back down and pulled the blanket over him. "Happy now?"

"Here, you gotta eat." She said as she grabbed the pot and came over to him.

He grimaced as he watched her come over to him wondering if it was rat, rabbit or mouse in that pot.

"Eat it!" Asuka commanded as she took a spoonful and held it in front of his mouth.

Shinji ate it and then grimaced. "That is the most disgusting thing…"

"I know." Asuka said. "I hate it too but you know what, we have no choice. Our rations are done. We have to make do. The snow hasn't stopped, Shinji. I don't know what we're going to do."

"We'll be all right." He told her as he ate another spoonful.

"I'm glad your hopeful." Asuka said worriedly.

"I am hopeful." He told her as he reached for her hand. "When we get out of here, it's going to be okay."

"I don't know." Asuka said as she turned away.

"Listen, " he told her. ", we've got to do what we need to do to survive. I know one thing. I have a major reason for wanting to survive."

"What is it?" She asked as she looked at him.

"You." He told her.

Asuka was speechless as she looked into his face. She didn't know what to say. "Shinji, I…"

And at that moment, Shinji vomited all over the blanket and then looked back to Asuka embarrassed.

"Its okay." Asuka told him as she ran to get a rag. "Its all right. We'll clean it up. Actually, that's good that you did that you know?"

"It is?" Shinji asked as his stomach felt terrible. "Are you sure it isn't rat stew I'm throwing up?"

"Asshole, I have been eating rats too! I haven't been throwing up! You have been the one throwing up!" Asuka yelled out. "You're getting rid of all the bad stuff in your system. Its actually good."

"Well, it doesn't feel good." He told her.

Asuka smirked and then took the blanket off of him. "Get yourself over by the fire while I clean this up. Then," she said with a smile as she looked at him. ", I'll clean you up."

"Okay." He told her as he sat close to the fire and watched while she cleaned up the mess. After she was done, she came back with the small rag and towel and helped him to get undressed.

Shinji's lips turned upward into a smile. "Sponge bath?" he asked her.

"Yeah." She said as she came over to him by the fire.

Shinji smirked at her and then let her do her work after which, she made him lie down by the fire underneath the blanket. He smiled up at her and sighed out with contentment. "That was so good." He said to her as he looked up at her.

"Get some rest." She told him. "The sooner you sleep off this flu the better off we'll be."

"Okay." He told her as he yawned. 'Hey. What was it you were going to tell me before?"

Asuka took a deep breath and then looked at him with a smile. "I guess what I wanted to say was…Shinji, I've been mean to you and I'm sorry for it all. You see, it's always been hard for me to show people how I've felt. I always had to be strong and tough. I never wanted to be like my mother. I never wanted to be weak."

"You aren't weak." He said to her as he smiled back to her.

"I know but, there was something I was feeling inside of me that I thought that if I allowed myself to feel then I couldn't be strong anymore but I was wrong."

Shinji felt his exhaustion hit him but tried desperately to stay awake. He looked at her and wanted to listen. "Its okay, Asuka." He said to her in a sleepy voice. "I…."

"Let me say this." She said as she looked at him. "Just let me get this out, okay?"

"Okay." He said as he looked at her.

"This feeling…. it doesn't make me weak if anything it makes me stronger. I guess what I am trying to say is," Asuka took a deep breath and closed her eyes and then said. "That feeling is because of you. You've been kind to me and good to me and I've been horrible to you."

"Well, you've been a pain in the ass." Shinji said with a laugh as he shut his eyes and yawned. "It's okay though. You took care of me. I know that…"

"Shinji!" Asuka growled. "Will you please shut the fuck up and let me talk!"

Shinji opened his eyes and nodded. "Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. I'm listening."

"Okay." Asuka said as she turned her head and took a deep breath. "I said something to you when you were out of it and I don't think you remembered it but…."

"Uh huh." Shinji said as he felt his eyelids become heavy and feel sleep come to him.

"Shinji. I love you."

Shinji grinned as he heard her, he breathed in as sleep started to arrive.

Asuka took another breath and then continued saying softly. "I said it to you when we first came here but I don't think you remember because you were really sick. I wanted to tell you again. I was afraid to tell you before and now I want you to know. I am very much in love with you. I love you with all my heart and soul. I've wanted to tell you so many times and I was so afraid. Now though, I want you to know. So that's the truth, Shinji."

She waited for a response and then asked. "Shinji?"

She turned her head and then sighed as she heard loud snoring.

"Terrific."

He had fallen asleep.

As she looked at him with his eyes shut, resting peacefully and comfortably she smiled down at him. She breathed out and shook her head saying with a smile. "Schist. Perfect timing as usual."

Then as she looked at him, she came over beside him and watched as he turned and laid his head on her lap. She smiled down at him and stroked his hair. She listened to him as he seemed to let a small moan of enjoyment through his sleep and then she rubbed his back, making sure that the blanket covered him.

As she watched him sleep, she couldn't have imagined she could ever feel this strongly for him. She knew she always felt this way about him but to show it on the outside would bring down her façade of being tough and unstoppable. After all, didn't she always boast that she was the best? .

Yet now she didn't care about that. She only cared about wanting to see him get better. She wanted to tell him again, when he was better that she did love him but somehow by the way he was cuddled up next to her and laid his head down in her lap, she had a feeling that he all ready knew.

Chapter 55

Two days later, Shinji awoke in the morning and felt better. He felt one hundred percent better and as he looked at Asuka who resting near the fire, he smiled.

He got up out from under the blanket and stood up, stretching. He quickly threw on his pull over and jeans. He looked towards the entrance of the cave then walked over to it, the snow was still falling pretty bad. He sighed as he watched it and wondered when they would be able to get out of here.

Then he turned and walked over to her. He knelt down beside her and smiled as he watched her. "Hey." He said softly as he shook her shoulder gently.

Asuka yawned and turned her head. Her eyes opened and she smiled as she saw him. Then, her eyes widened and she jerked upright. With a scowl painted across her face, she barked.. "Why the hell are you out of bed? Get back to bed right now!"

"I feel fine though." He told her. "Really."

Asuka reached up and put her hand to his forehead. As she felt his forehead, she smiled and touched his cheeks. She laughed and threw her arms around him, holding him tight, "It is down! You feel cool! You…feel like a normal temp! Shinji, you are better!"

"Yeah." He told her with a chuckle and a smile as he looked back at her. "The snow though, looks really bad out there."

Asuka nodded. "I know."

"We might be stuck here for a while huh?" he asked her.

"We could be."

"How's the food situation?" he asked.

"Well, as long as there are rats…"

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah." She said.

"What time is it?" he asked. "I can't find my watch."

Asuka reached into his pack and pulled it out, handing it to him. "What does it matter what time it is? If we don't get out of here, we're going to die."

"No, we won't." he told her as he put his watch on.

"I think you should still rest a little. I mean you just got better."

"How long have I been down for? Nine days, right? Well, I think I am one hundred percent finally." He stood up and looked around. "Wow." He said as he stretched. "Feels good to be well again."

Asuka smiled warmly at him and took a breath. She said to him softly. "Yeah, I'm glad you're better too."

Shinji grinned at her and then said. "Hey, is there anything to eat? I'm hungry as hell."

"Its in the pot." Asuka said.

Shinji went over to the pot and poured himself a small bowl of the stew. All though he felt it was disgusting; he ate it regardless and then drank some water, all the while, looking at Asuka.

"Hey you know," he said as he ate the stew. ", I think I am getting used to Rat Stew. Maybe you could make this one or two nights a week after we're out of here?"

Asuka rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Cute." She growled as she crossed her arms.

"That was just a joke. What's the matter?" He asked her.

"Do you honestly have to ask that question?" She snapped.

As soon as he was finished eating, he got up, walked over to her and sat beside her. He looked at her and then took her hand into his own, saying to her. "It's going to be all right. You'll see. Sooner or later, these snows have to stop and then…. then that's when we break for it."

"What if it never stops, Shinji? What then?"

"It will stop, Asuka." He said to her.

Asuka looked at him with worry and then hugged him, taking a deep breath. "Sometimes…it seems like it'll never stop. I…I am afraid, Shinji." she whispered.

"Don't be." He told her as he brushed the hair from her face and looked into her eyes.

"I am afraid, Shinji! What if we never get out of here? What if we die here? You almost died! I couldn't…."

She began to cry and he held her against him as he breathed in. "It's going to be all right, Asuka. I'm fine now. We'll both be all right." He said to her as he looked into her eyes and smiled. "Asuka, we won't die here. I'll tell you though, this is going to sound sick, but right here, with you, is where I want to be right now."

Asuka smiled at him and then said. "When I almost lost you, I thought…"

"Shh…." He told her.

"Shinji…."

Quickly, his lips came to hers as he kissed her gently and held her in his arms.

She looked back to him and said. "What are you doing?"

Shinji smiled and said. "I'm better now right?"

"Yeah but…."

Asuka felt her fear go away as he held her and kissed her, brushing the hair away from her face and holding her tight against him. "So I take it," he said with a smile. ", that this is allowed now?"

Asuka giggled at him and then he smiled at her and kissed her again, she held onto him tight and he held onto her.

"Shinji, you just got better. Do you think that we should…"

Her words were cut off as he kissed her again and held her tight against him. As they parted lips she said. "Pervert."

He chuckled at her and nodded. Then he lightly caressed her face and bought himself in for another kiss, holding her against him and gently laying her back. They turned onto their sides as they kissed long and deeply holding onto one another.

She smiled at him. Yet as he looked into her face, he couldn't say anything. He could only stare back at her. No words were said but their emotions spoke volumes and then as he looked back to her, he kissed her long and sincerely as his hands ran up and down her body.

Asuka giggled and then ran her hand up and down his chest. He smirked back and took her hand into his own and kissed her hand as he held it to his chest.

"I know." He said to her as he pulled her close to him and shut his eyes, his lips joined hers. She opened her mouth and felt him intertwine his tongue with her own as he held her close to him and shifted his weight.

He gently turned her onto her back and smiled down at her as he kissed her gently.

Her hands reached underneath his pullover and she ran her palms along his back. The kiss that they shared was passionate and was fueling them with arousal for one another.

She knew that this was now the moment as she looked into his face.

She kissed him on his neck as she pulled the pullover up over his back and over his head. He looked back at her breathing heavily wanting her more then he had ever wanted her before. His eyes shut as he felt the soft kisses she gave him on his neck while her hands ran over his body and through his hair.

He knew that this was their moment and it was right.

Then as his eyes opened halfway and looked back at her, she felt him press his lips to hers tenderly and hold her against him. She looked back at him and smiled lightly stroking his cheek and then they kissed again.

"Oh, God, Shinji." Asuka breathed out as her hands ran over his back.

"Asuka…." He said in between heavy breathing as he looked at her. "I love you."

"Shinji, I love you too." She said back with a smile as she drew him to her.

Shinji smirked and then his lips came back to hers and he kissed her gently as he looked back at her. "I heard you every night." He told her.

"I heard you too." She said with a smile.

"Oh, Asuka. I am so in love with you." He told her with a smile.

"Shinji, I'm in love with you too." She said. "I'm not afraid anymore. Your love is my strength."

"Yours is mine." He whispered to her as he smiled at her again and kissed her once more.

"Shinji," Asuka whispered to him as she ran her hand over his back. "Let's make love to each other tonight. Let's go all the way with each other."

He breathed hard as he looked at her, drenched with desire "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She whispered as their lips met.

They remained in their kiss as they removed each other's clothes from one another and held one another close as they lay next to the fire on their sleeping bags.

She loved the feel of his body. He had become so strong and yet he was also as gentle as he had always been. She felt his breath and his lips on her neck and ear and she breathed heavy as she touched him all over his body. He moved back to her lips and kissed her openly and deeply making her feel how much he wanted her and feeling in her kiss how much she wanted him.

Asuka watched as his lips trailed down her body, kissing her slowly and moving his hands all over her body and her thighs.

Asuka felt like she was in a state of absolute ecstasy as passion washed over her like a giant wave. For her it was incredible and it was better then it had been before.

He looked down at her body exploring her body with his hands and then looking back at her, he laid himself over her as he reached underneath her shoulders and held onto her, kissing her lips with gentleness and tenderness.

She felt so on fire from him and as he touched her, he loomed over her and breathed in.

Staring into her eyes, he kissed her tenderly as he tried to be gentle with her. She moved her head back and moaned holding onto him as he breathed in and out.

Feeling the initial shock of her barrier being violated, she breathed out as he tried to be gentle with her and not cause her so much pain.

He looked to her face as he saw the pain it caused, locking his eyes with her as he moved forward. "Are you okay?" he asked her through heavy breathing.

Asuka nodded at him and drew him to her for another kiss, holding onto him until the pain passed.

Soon though, the pain stopped and it was replaced by great pleasure and she moaned in enjoyment.

Shinji interlaced his fingers with hers feeling sweat start to run down his body and now experiencing the passion of their love.

Their bodies heaved together as he continued to move faster and kiss her while they made love to one another. They both explored one another with their hands and mouths leaving no part of the other untouched. They both were felt like they were one with each other knowing only true pleasure and passion.

Feeling ecstasy sweep across her body, she moaned out loudly as she arched her back and moved with him.

Her body was in sync with his body. With every movement that he made, she followed. They were moving in rhythm with each other as they called out loudly into the cave while their bodies became soaked in sweat. Their joy and pleasure mixed with red-hot passion and they bought themselves past the point of sheer ecstasy. .

As the night progressed, the two of them became immersed in their passion and became enthralled with one another. Their hands and mouth ran all over each other

She equally couldn't get enough of him. She couldn't imagine that he had this within him the whole time she knew him. .

She never wanted to let him go. She wanted to hold him as long as she could as he made her scream into the night with such pleasure. Her hands ran over his sweaty back and through his hair.

She loved how strong he was and the way his body felt against her. She had never known anything like this before the way he felt inside of her. The way he moved with her, touched her and kissed her made her want to fade away into him. It was absolute delight and happiness and she felt truly one with him.

He felt pure bliss wash over him as he grunted and moaned. He equally never wanted to let her go or stop. He wished he could have been with her like this forever experiencing ecstasy and pleasure.

He looked deep into her eyes. He so badly wanted to let go but he held back, driving himself more seeing she was almost at that point herself.

Then he felt her, she threw her head back and arched her back. She shrieked with pleasure as loud as her voice could carry.

It drove him wild. He groaned and grunted loudly as his face tightened. He called out as his eyes squeezed shut.

He laid his weight on top of her as he hugged her body and breathed in and out. Her arms came around him and she held him against her. As he heaved on top of her, he kissed her lips gently and hugged her body.

Chapter 56

Shinji awoke in the late afternoon seeing her beside him. They were lying on the sleeping bag. Their fire had kept burning. A blanket covered them both. The sunlight shone through the cave and he could smell the clean fresh air. He was lying beside her, his arm around her. She was still asleep, facing him, sleeping on her side.

He stared at her face, feeling so much love in his heart.

All though they had finally had sex with each other, it meant so much more.

Everything that had happened in this cave meant a great deal. It had changed everything.

As he looked at her, he felt an outpour of emotion coming out of him. He knew that they were so much more then what they were and what they had been.

Shortly after, she woke up and then saw that he was staring at her, smiling. She smiled back at him as she reached up and stroked his hair.

"Hi. Have you been awake long?" She asked sleepily as she let her hand rest on his chest..

"Not too long." He told her as he ran his hand through her hair. "I like watching you sleep."

"You were watching me sleep?" She asked as she cam closer to him and looked up at him.

"Yeah." He told her while his fingers ran down her back. "I love watching you sleep. I love looking at you. I love you."

"This is like a wonderful dream." She said to him with a smile.

"Loving you is like a dream come true. A hope for the future." He told her as he looked into her eyes.

She smiled back at him and felt her heart touched in a way she could never describe. She moved closer to him and lightly cupped his cheek with her palm. He raised his head and moved closer to her, he breathed in and smiled. She drew him closer to her.

Shinji kissed her gently placing his hands and feeling her body adjust to his own as he moved over her and held onto her body.

Asuka made a small noise and laughed as she felt something lightly poke her. "My god, do you always wake up this way?" Asuka asked as she looked up at him with a chuckle.

Shinji simply raised an eyebrow and then said. "You should know by now."

She laughed and then he kissed her again while their bodies melted into one another. He held her close to him as he kissed her.

They kissed passionately, moving in sync with each other rhythmically. She felt herself fading into the rapture of the passionate moment, moaning and cooing softly beneath him as he grunted and moaned with her.

He looked into her eyes as they moved with one another and thought to himself, he never wanted to be without her. He wished he could freeze this moment in time and make love to her forever.

Asuka didn't want to let go of him for a minute. She wanted to hold onto him forever and be everything to him that she could be. As she stared into his eyes, both of them had the same thought at the exact same time.

This is only the beginning of our lives. I want to be yours forever.

Chapter 58

They weren't sure of what time it was as they sat by the fire and ate.

Both of them hadn't bothered to change into clothes, they simply wrapped their blankets around each other and then ate a small breakfast-lunch-dinner with the remaining rations that they had.

As they ate, they kept looking at one another smiling at one another knowing that they both wanted to finish this break quickly and get back to what they had been doing for what was now a day and a half.

As soon as they were done eating, they looked back at each other, threw off the blankets and they found themselves in passionate embraces and deep kisses.

They all but threw one another onto the sleeping bag. She wrapped her arms around him and drew him to her as she laid down on the sleeping bag. He moved over her and once again found himself joined with her in body and soul as they both moaned out their pleasure.

They perspired heavily with one another and found their passion and ecstasy merging with another taking them into another world where only they existed. Their pleasure of one another was great, both of them felt equal to the other. There was no dominance, there was just them.

Each of them wanted to give as much of themselves to the other as possible. They wanted to make each other feel as much passion and pleasure as they could and it set them on fire with what they did to each other.

Then finally as he breathed out, doused in sweat, looking back at her, he collapsed onto her body and heaved over her as she heaved underneath him and held onto him loving the way he felt against her. His arms went around her shoulders as he laid his head against her neck and breathed in the scent of her hair.

She equally could feel so much a part of him. Their sleep came to claim them and they rested with each other remaining linked not wanting to disconnect, not wanting to let go.

Chapter 59

The following morning, she woke up with him still against her, still connected to him. She smiled as she breathed in and gently kissed him on his neck.

She felt him breath in and then as he raised his head and stared into her eyes, he gently stroked her cheek and kissed her gently.

She smiled through the kiss and thought to herself, this isn't a bad way to wake up.

He smiled back at her and continued to kiss her and she wrapped her arms around him as he reached underneath her and held onto her shoulders while he kissed her deeply and moved.

She equally loved waking up like this; it felt like a slice of heaven in the middle of being stuck in an icy, cold wasteland. However, the last few days had been anything but cold. The last two days had been hot and passionate and for both of them it was paradise.

As his lips moved to her neck and his hands moved across her back, she moved her head back and then she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head while Shinji continued to kiss her neck and move his hands across her body.

Asuka turned her head and looked at the cave entrance, and then she smiled wildly.

"Shinji!" She exclaimed.

"Asuka…" he moaned out as with his eyes shut.

"No, Shinji! I mean…. uh…look." She said through heavy breathing.

"What?" he said as he kissed her neck.

"Shinji, look! Look!"

"Later." He told her in a breath as he continued.

"No asshole! Stop it and look!"

"What?" he asked in an annoyed tone as he stopped and looked at her.

"There!" She said as she pointed to the cave.

Shinji rolled his eyes and looked over and then he smiled and looked back to her. "Okay! So what? So, it stopped…. that's great. Let's get back to more of this. I'm not finished with you yet." He told her with a smile.

"Idiot!" Asuka growled as she sat up. She grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her running over to the cave entrance.

"Asuka!" he growled, as he felt cold. "What the fuck?"

Asuka ran over to the cave entrance and then laughed loudly. "YES! Finally! Shinji, do you know what this means?"

Shinji looked at her and huffed. He put on his jeans, and reached for his boots as he threw them on and he walked over to the cave entrance, breathed in and raised his eyebrow.

"What does that look mean?" Asuka asked with a smirk.

"Uh…. I don't know…. maybe blue balls?" he asked her as he crossed his arms.

"Shinji, look…. it's over…. the snow stopped! We can get out of here!"

"Okay, we can get out of here later. I've got other plans for now." He said as he came over to her with a smirk.

"Shinji, you idiot!" Asuka growled as she put her arm up and held him back. "Don't you realize that the snows have stopped? Is you're hard on controlling your brain that much? Haven't you had enough sex? God, we've been doing it for two days now! Would you really prefer to have sex then getting out of here?"

"Uh yeah!" Shinji said in an annoyed tone.

"Shinji, look, idiot, we can make a break for it!"

Shinji looked outside and poked his head out. Snow was everywhere and he took a deep breath. "It might be really deep, we don't know."

"There's only one way to find out." She said as she looked at him with a grin.

"You're not going out there!" Shinji demanded.

"Watch me!" Asuka said with a smirk as she went back to the fire and started getting dressed.

"Are you nuts?" He said as he followed her and kneeled beside her. "Its been snowing for days! It might be deep and what if it is, then you'll fall through the snow."

"So, if that happens, rescue me." Asuka said with a smirk as she grabbed the jacket and put it on.

"I think you're crazy!" Shinji said as he looked at her.

"If we can get out of here, I'll take the risk." She said as she put on her boots with a laugh. Lightly, she gave him a peck on the lips and then ran towards the cave entrance.

Shinji sighed and then grabbed his pullover and threw it on. He huffed again and then walked over to the cave entrance. He stood by the cave entrance as she came out of the cave and stood in the snow.

She looked around and felt the sunlight on her face. The skies were clear and she laughed and spun around. "This is great!" Asuka called out happily.

He shook his head at her and then called out. "Be careful."

Asuka smirked and then all of a sudden fell back, screaming.

Shinji's eyes widened as he looked around. "ASUKA!" He yelled out.

He looked around again feeling worried. He inched out further into the cave. Then he saw her head pop up and saw her laughing.

"That's not funny!"

Asuka laughed and then fell back into the snow, laughing loudly while she made a snow angel.

Shinji simply watched her and shook his head, crossing his arms.

"Come out here!" She said as she stood up. "Its not really cold. I mean it's chilly but not too cold and it's not deep at all. Its great!"

Shinji sighed and beamed at her with an annoyed look. He had other plans this morning and it didn't involve playing in the snow.

He was happy the snow had ended but he had wished they had finished their early morning activity first.

"Come on out!" Asuka said with a laugh. "You haven't been out in so long. Get out here!"

Shinji rolled his eyes and then called out. "Okay. One second." He went back to the fire and grabbed another large sweater and quickly put it on, and then he grabbed the baseball cap out of his backpack and put it on. He went back to the entrance of the cave and then started to climb out of it and as soon as his head popped out, he felt something strike him and it was cold and made of snow.

He looked back to her with a frown and a raised eyebrow and she laughed at him.

"Gotcha." She said with a smirk.

He came out of the cave and looked at her with crossed arms and then he saw her bend down and make another snowball in her hand.

The look on her face was devilish.

He breathed in as he raised his arm and pointed at her. "Don't even think about it." He told her.

Asuka grinned and then threw the snowball at him, he ducked but it hit him in the shoulder. She laughed and then began to run away. He smirked and picked up a large amount of snow and quickly made it into a snowball and threw it at her.

She laughed as it made an impact on her back and then she picked up more snow and threw it at him as he tried to get away from her.

The two of them laughed and ran around throwing snowballs at one another. He chased her and tried to catch her as she laughed and then when he wasn't aware of it, she hopped on his back and covered his eyes with her hands.

"What are you…"

Asuka laughed wildly as she teased him. He lost his footing though and then she fell with him and landed into the snow, beside him. She couldn't stop laughing as she looked at him.

He sighed, shaking his head, saying. "You…are…crazy!"

Asuka continued to laugh and moved closer to him, saying. "It was fun wasn't it?"

"No!" Shinji said with a smirk as he sat up. "Do you realize I just got better? Do you want to make me sick again?"

"Knock it off. It's not that cold." Asuka said with a grin.

"Oh yeah?" Shinji asked.

:"Yeah! You had fun admit it!"

"No!" Shinji said with a smirk.

"I'll make you admit it then!" Asuka said with a devilish look.

"Really?" he said as he sat up.

"Yeah." She said as she looked at him and sat up.

"How do you think you'd be able to do that?"

Asuka chuckled and then said. "By doing…THIS!" She was quick; she pounced on him and made him fall onto his back in the snow. She laughed at him as she pinned him and he looked back at her with a smirk. "Gotcha!" She said with a grin.

"No you didn't." He said as he forced his body weight and turned her over. "I got you!" he said with a grin as he looked down at her.

"You think so, huh?' She said as she looked back at him.

"I know so." He told her.

"I can reverse it."

"I'd like to see ya." He told her.

Asuka smirked and then moved her head quickly and pressed her lips against his. He smirked and laughed as he fell into her kiss and then she turned him over onto his back and parted from his lips, smiling down at him, leaning on her elbow. "Just like that." She said with a grin. "See, now I got you."

He looked back to her and laughed as he cupped her cheek and said. "I know."

"Why don't we go back to the cave?" Asuka said with a smile.

"I thought you wanted to leave?" Shinji asked.

"We can leave tomorrow. We can enjoy our last day here the way we like and the way we started to this morning."

Shinji grinned at her and wrapped his arms around her, he kissed her again and then smiled at her as he sat up and watched as she ran back to the cave.

Shinji smiled as he chased after her. He ran into the cave and saw her by the fire.

He breathed out as he saw her. He smiled at her and removed his baseball cap from his head, dropping it beside him. He came towards her and then their arms wrapped around each other as their lips met.

As their lips joined one another, their eyes shut and they found each other settling down by the fire onto the sleeping bag. . He laid her down on the sleeping bag with his hand behind her head. They quickly undressed each other and then once again found their passion re-ignited. When his lips came to hers and they kissed each other with deep, unyielding passion their bodies became one with one another.

As Asuka looked into his face, she smiled at him and thought to herself that she no longer saw the shy, withdrawn boy that he used to be.

She thought to herself that she had seen the scared, frightened, lonely boy become a strong, brave confident young man. She had seen him protect her when he had to and do what they had to in order to survive. More so, now he was much more to her then a companion and a best friend.

Now he was the man that she loved.

(end of Part V….Part VI coming next. This scene was edited for this website. Again, the "first time" sequence had some lemon in it. It has been edited for this website. After Impact Uncut will be available on the author's website.)