AFTER IMPACT

by J.Alana1

Third Impact has occured. Shinji Ikari & Asuka Langely Soryu are left alone. Now they must struggle to survive from day to day and face the awful truth that they were left to inherit the Earth. What lies ahead? What is the course of life After Impact?

9. Chapters 88 thru 114

PART IX: DUTY & HONOR

Chapter 88

Asuka got into the EVA simulator and adjusted herself to the pilot's seat. She wore her black uniform that showed her name: CPT. IKARI S.L.A. stitched in gold on the right side. On her collar, she proudly wore the silver insignia, which was a small leaf with a star, clipped to her collar on opposite sides.. Her long auburn hair was now shoulder length, neatly cut at her shoulders and brushed back.

Since her rank had been reinstated, Asuka had gone through six months of training. She had waited for this moment for a long time. Six months of training, preparation, and briefing had bought her to this moment.

She was more then ready, she was born for it.

"Control to Captain Ikari." A voice said over the headset.

"Captain Ikari here." Asuka said as she breathed in.

"Asuka, ease into this transition slowly. Remember you've been out of the pilot's seat for over ten years. The simulator is one thing, the actual unit is quite another. This is going to take some getting used to. The simulator will mimic Unit 2-A's movements precisely in essence you'll be syncing directly with the unit."

"Acknowledged, Control." Asuka said. "I think I've transitioned enough. Give me something to do."

"Okay, practice evasive techniques."

"Evasive techniques?" Asuka said with a smirk. "Piece of cake!"

Asuka gripped the controls and breathed in and she pulled on them. Almost immediately, she found herself in control and ready to do battle if necessary. She felt more in sync with the unit then ever before and all though this unit wasn't the original Unit 2, Unit 2A's harmonics and design had matched its predecessor perfectly.

Asuka was ready.

For four hours, Asuka sat in the pilot's seat and tested the speed, strength and agility of Unit 2A. For her it was pure fun.

For Control, it was nerve racking.

After simulation testing, Asuka came out of the unit and entered into the Control room. Misato stood and shook her head at her as she said. "Nothing changes with you, does it?"

Asuka grinned and laughed. "It feels just like the old one. How soon will the real thing be ready?"

"Well, we want to ease you into that slowly." Misato told her. "Asuka, you've just returned to duty. Don't you want to ease into this transition slowly?"

"Hell no." Asuka said. "Misato, its great to be back! I've missed it so much. I've forgotten how much fun it is. I love what I do."

"Shinji doesn't feel the same way, does he? I mean he completely retired. He'll never reconsider will he?"

"Shinji has a lot of resentment towards SEELE and towards his father. He won't let that go. Shinji's been talking to his father and Hope just adores her grandfather so little by little, Shinji's coming around." Asuka took a breath and removed her combat gloves as she continued.. "I don't think I'll ever see him in the pilot's seat again. Shinji is all about our family now. He doesn't care about the EVA series. You have to understand, Misato, Shinji was more then content to live in the valley for the rest of his life. He's changed so much."

"I can see that." Misato said with a smile.. "Something tells me you had a hand with that."

Asuka grinned as she said. "We both changed while we were out there. We had to grow up quickly. It was only us and our survival depended on each other. He surprised me though. I've seen him do things that I never thought he could. He's risked his life for me. He's so much stronger now. He's not like he used to be. I suppose that's how we fell in love…. we both changed from what we were like to what we could be like. Shinji developed strength and courage. I found peace and love. I no longer felt I had to be the way I used to."

"Is that why you married him?" Misato asked.

"Yes, it is." Asuka said with a grin. "I saw the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. He was so strong and so courageous. He never for a minute referred to doing things as I or me, it was always us and we. He amazed me."

"How does he feel about all of this?" Misato asked.

"Oh, he hates it. He understands that this is what I want to do but he hates it."

"Any idea on what he wants to do now that he's back in society?"

"He's been going to school during the day. He's been taking classes in music theory."

"Music theory?" Misato asked. "Interesting choice."

"Lately though, he doesn't seem happy. When it comes to what he wants to do, I'm not even sure he knows the answer to that question." Asuka said as she took a breath and walked towards the locker room.

Misato took a deep breath and then walked back to her office.

Chapter 89

Shinji sat at the bar, pouring a shot of whiskey down his throat. The liquor felt horrible to his taste but he was angry.

"Hit me again." He told the bartender who came over with the bottle and refilled his drink.

As he sat alone in the bar, he thought about the fight he had with Asuka an hour ago. He felt so different. He didn't know anything. He hated this city and her job. He hated being here and wished that they had never returned.

Sitting in this bar, getting drunk off of shots of whiskey, it eased his pain a little but he was still so very angry with her for what she had done today.

She had come home as usual and found him sitting in his chair, looking out the window. Shortly after an argument ensued.

The day had started off normally. Asuka came through the door, picked up Hope and gave her a big hug, then she went over to Souke, hopping up and down in the playpen and picked him up, cuddling him and making him smile. She had walked over to the window and saw Shinji sitting his lounge recliner looking out the window, staring into space.

Asuka had grown tired of seeing him do this day after day for six months straight and finally she decided she was going to address it. "What in the hell is wrong with you?" She asked as she crossed her arms.

"Nothing." He said as he said continued to stare. "You're home late. Simulation testing again?" Shinji asked as he breathed in.

"Bullshit, don't lie to me!" Asuka said firmly. "Something is bothering you. Its been bothering you! Don't tell me that its not! Talk to me! I am your wife! Tell me what's going on!"

"You've changed." He said flatly as he crossed his arms.

"What?" Asuka growled.

"You've…. changed, Asuka. You're all about your job! You're all about promotions, hanging out with your friends from work, shopping, trips, what schools Hope gets into! You're so…pretentious lately!"

"What?" Asuka growled again.

"Its this damned city." Shinji said angrily. "It's changed us! It's changed our family! Our way of life is not the same way it's been! I hate this city! I hate everything about it! I hate what its done to us! I see it in you, Asuka. You've changed."

"You fucking idiot!" Asuka screamed at the top of her lungs. "How dare you say that to me!"

"Deal with it!" He growled.

"You think that I've changed? Look at you; you were a man once, Shinji. You were strong, fearless, and confident. You used to set me on fire when you made love to me. You used to make me feel like there was nothing we couldn't accomplish together. Now, you're weak, beaten, and empty. When we make love its like you're not even there. Now you're nothing but the shell of that man! I don't know who you are anymore!"

Shinji's fist had tightened and his face became bright red. "You…" He said calmly as he got up from his chair and walked up to her, staring into her face. "You think that I am a shell of a man that I used to be? How can I be what I used to be when everything I loved WAS TAKEN AWAY? The home I used to have? The life I used to have? The love we had? Everything has been changed around and distorted. You say to me that you don't know who I am anymore? I don't know who you are, Asuka!"

"Mommy!" Hope called out in a scared voice from the next room. Then, soft cries came from Souke's room.

Asuka shut her eyes as she realized that for the first time ever; her and Shinji were fighting within ear's shot of their children. "Shinji," she said in a low voice as she looked at him. ", I'm sorry, Honey. I didn't mean…"

Shinji breathed in as he heard her words. Angrily, he picked up his jacket and stormed to the door.

"Where are you going?" Asuka yelled out almost tearfully.

"Out!" He growled as he opened the door and slammed it shut.

"Shinji!"

He found himself walking along the streets until he came upon this bar and there he had walked in, settled down on a stool at the bar and had been drinking solid shots of whiskey for about a hour.

Shinji sat with his head bowed, staring at the shot of whiskey in front of him. I haven't been drunk like this in years. He thought to himself as he held the shot glass and picked it up. It felt lousy then, it feels lousy now. I hate this city.

He felt a slender arm come around his shoulder. He turned his head and then his eyes widened when he saw her.

"Hey." She said with a grin. "Care for a partner?"

"Misato." He said as he eyed her. "What are you doing here?"

"Felt like a few drinks." Misato said. "Hey, give me a shot of So. Co. straight up!" She called out to the bartender.

"Sure." The bartender said.

Misato smirked as she said to Shinji. "I had a rough day at the salt mines today. I come here sometimes. The crowd is usually good, the music is great and the drinks all taste the same.".

"You shouldn't drink so much." He told her as he stared down at his drink.

"Neither should you." She said with a grin.

He chuckled as he looked back at her. "Yeah okay." In one gulp, he took down the shot of whiskey and then put his shot glass down onto the bar, where he pointed to it again and had the bartender fill it back up.

"What brings you over here?" She asked.

"Asuka and me had a fight. My wife thinks that I am a shell of the man that I used to be." Shinji said as he picked up his shot and drank it down, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing out as his fist clenched. "I can't believe she said it. The funny thing is, she's right." He looked over at the bartender and pointed to his glass, breathing in with a scowl on his face..

"I'm sure Asuka didn't mean it." Misato said. "You know sometimes, people don't mean what they say when they're angry. What you should do is get up off of this stool and go home to your wife!"

"Home? I don't consider that apartment my home." Shinji said as he picked up his shot and quickly poured it down his throat as he slammed the glass down on the bar. "I don't even want to see her right now." Shinji growled as he pointed to his glass. "Asuka meant every word and like I said, she was right I don't feel the way I used to." Shinji watched while the bartender filled up his glass and then took the shot into his hand. "I can't seem to talk to her lately. I feel like…. she's so different. Cold. I make love to her and it doesn't feel the same. It feels detached. I feel detached. I hate this place. I hate everything about it!" Again, he took another swig of his shot and struggled to drink it down. He breathed out and put the glass back down, pointing to it again.

"It was a tough transition for you, wasn't it?" Misato asked as she sat down at the empty stool next to him.

"Misato, six months ago, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life." He said to her as he looked into her face with a smile. "I mean it too. I was really so happy. I had it all. I had a wife whom I adored and who loved me. I had a beautiful little girl who smiled so much that it melted my heart whenever I looked at her. Then, we had another baby, our second baby, on the way. We lived in this wonderful little house down in the valley in the shadow of a mountain that I nearly lost my life on. It was so perfect. The way we found it, the way it was with the furniture still inside, running water and no electric and it was paradise. It was our paradise. I found so much love there. Asuka and me have been through hell in the past ten years. We struggled every day to survive. We faced life and death together. Somehow, we managed and found our love for each other. Now though, it's so different. Six months ago we discovered that the world was still alive. People had survived. You survived. My father. Why aren't I happy? Why do I still keep wishing for that life that I used to have? I came here for my children, to give them a life, to give them the chance to be more then we ever could be. I feel so empty inside and I hate my life now and I hate myself. So, maybe Asuka is right, maybe I am just the shell of the man I used to be. I don't even know myself who I am anymore or what I am anymore."

Misato breathed in as she heard him, looking into his face, she saw the boy he used to be coming out. When she had first seen him six months ago, he was strong, confident and knew what he wanted.

Now he looked weak, defeated, empty and alone.

Misato gently stroked his hair near the nape of his neck and he shut his eyes as he felt her touch. She leaned over to him and gently kissed his cheek, whispering. "It's all right, Shinji."

"Misato…." He said as his voice trailed off. "Who am I?" he asked as he looked at her. "What am I? What's my purpose…. what direction should I go in? Why am I here?"

"Shinji, I know this is hard on you but you've come such a long way from the boy you were to the man you are. I know this place feels different and awkward and it doesn't feel like home. I never really had a home you know so I never felt like I left it behind. I can only imagine the hurt and pain you feel at leaving your home behind."

"I miss it so much." He said. "It was home for so many reasons. Asuka and me were crazily in love. Our family was happy and our lives were good and rich. We didn't have wealth in dollars but we had it in so many other forms. We had each other and then we came back here and I didn't feel like I belonged here. I decided to go back to school about maybe three months ago and I study music theory because I love the cello. I still play, y'know. So I decided to study music and I sit in the classroom. While I'm there I don't feel like I should be there, I feel like I'm not doing what I should. In the valley, I did feel that way every day of my life. I felt like I had a purpose and a reason to get up every morning. I still have my family, Misato but I don't have the purpose that I need. I don't feel like here I'm doing enough to be a good father and husband. Here, being a provider means to have a good job. I don't have that. My wife works instead of me and I'm okay with that. However, I want to do more for my family then just…make them breakfast and dinner! Misato, I would do anything to get back that time and go back home."

Misato nodded her head and said. "You look like sometimes you wish you never came here."

"I do feel that way." He told her flatly.

"Even though you could see your father again? Even though you could see people you haven't seen in a very long time? Even though, you could see me again?" She asked gently.

"Misato…."

"Shinji, I know it's been hard but you have to get through this somehow. You'll find your way. You just need to look inside to find it."

"Misato…" he said as he looked into her face.

"Hang on a second." Misato said as she raised her head and moved her head to the beat of slow music coming through the jukebox. "I love this song. I haven't heard this in years. Oh, wow, its great…you know this song, Shinji! Remember?"

Shinji listened for a minute and nodded his head. "You loved this song. I remember." He told her with a smile.

Shinji watched as she moved over to the center of the floor and then started dancing, moving slowly with a smile on her face. Her eyes were shut as she enjoyed the music. "This such a great song…. haven't heard it in years…oh wow!" She said with a laugh.

Then just as he had done when he was young, his eyes focused on her bottom as he sipped his drink and watched her move.

Shinji stared at her as he sat at the bar. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was wearing a simple black dress, sleeveless, with a low neck and a low back. It cut off to the mid section of her thigh. Her hair was neatly pulled back and her make up made her look like a movie star.

Shinji just sat at the bar, watching her move, and taking in every movement that her body made. The bartender behind him leaned up against the wall watching her.

Shinji looked around the bar; he saw that most of the men in the bar had their eyes focused directly on her.

She turned and looked at him sitting over at the bar and smiled. He smiled back at her and watched as she turned around.

He breathed in as he watched her bottom move and shake. His eyes focused directly on her.

Taking the shot glass into his hand he drank the whiskey and then stood up from the bar. He took off his jacket, placing it on the back of the stool. He walked over slowly and stood near the wall, leaning against as he watched her.

She turned and smiled at him and he breathed in deeply with a smile as he continued to watch her.

Breathing in again, he walked over to her, standing behind her; he slowly slid his hands on her hips, and placed his head against her as he moved with her, slowly and rhythmically, drawing her up against his body.

"Shinji!" Misato said with a laugh. "…You haven't danced with me since you were a kid and never like this!"

Shinji smiled as he bought his lips close to her ear and whispered. "I'm no kid."

The response caught Misato off guard as his hand moved over her stomach and swayed with her. Her arm reached up and draped behind his neck as they continued to move. She leaned up against his chest with her the back of her head against his shoulder. His eyes shut as he moved with her, breathing in and out as the scent of her perfume went through him.

She felt the way he held her and moved with her was like unlike any time before. His chest was hard and muscular and his touch was gentle as they moved with the beat of the music with each other.

Misato breathed in as she turned to face him, he bought her closer into his body, as his eyes burned into her own and slid his hand along the side of her thigh holding her close against his body, smiling seductively back at her.

"You do this pretty good." She said in a low voice as her arms came around his neck. "I'd say I taught you well."

"There are more then a few things that you taught me well." He said to her with a smile as he moved his hand gently over the small of her back.

Misato smiled as she looked back at him, feeling uneasy.

In all of ten years, Shinji had never seen another woman except for Asuka. As he looked at this woman, with his arms around her, dancing with her slowly, having her up against his body, thoughts were going off in his head and it scared him.

Misato couldn't stop looking at him as they danced together on the floor, slowly and rhythmically. She remembered telling him if you could move well on the dance floor, you'll move well in the sack. The way he moved against her now, it seemed to be a good indication of how he was like in the sack.

She stared deeply into his eyes. They were sad, as she had always remembered. The shyness though was not evident, instead she saw something else in him: desire and it was directed at her at this moment.

Right now, Asuka did not exist to him. The only person that existed was Misato and he wanted to hold her close to him as long as he could. Misato was making him feel strong again, confident again and as he looked at her, he looked at her like he was looking at a beautiful woman. The liquor in him had probably compelled him to be a little freer with himself then he would be usually but this moment to him was golden.

Being with Misato, he felt temptation knocking at his door.

She equally did not see the fourteen-year-old Shinji Ikari that she had known. Now she was seeing a man who happened to be named Shinji Ikari. He was strong, muscular, he moved well with her and his touch drove her crazy.

Ten years of growing into an adult had been well for him. He was like a good wine that had been aged to the point of where drinking it could be an incredibly pleasurable experience.

She wanted that experience.

Misato breathed in as the song ended. The two of them sat down by the bar having more drinks and enjoying conversation.

Shinji still could not stop staring at her.

He stared down at the ring on his finger.

When they had returned, Asuka had bought him a gold wedding band to match her own since he had never had one while they were down in the valley.

Their lives were far more different now as they had been.

Asuka had thrown herself back into her work and Shinji felt that even though they were together, they were distant at times.

As he looked back at the woman who stood smiling at him, now winking at him with a smile that he had missed seeing, he had an odd feeling come over him.

"You feeling okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah." She told him. "We've been sitting here talking for hours. I just…I shouldn't drink so much. I should get going, it's getting late."

Shinji smiled as he picked up his drink and sipped on it, staring back at her, eyeing her body. "Do you want me to…walk you to your car?" he asked her.

"You wouldn't mind?" She asked him.

Shinji shook his head and then got off the stool. "Not at all."

Misato smiled back at him and finished off her drink. She got up off the stool and then he grabbed his jacket as he put it on and he followed her out of the bar into the street, with his hand in the small of her back.

They walked along the sidewalk and he took a look at her, feeling very strange and wondering why he felt this way.

"You've changed so much." Misato said to him as they turned a corner and then walked out to a dimly lit parking lot. "It's hard to believe you're all grown up now."

"I am all grown up now." He told her with a grin.

She stopped in front of her car, and leaned against it, saying to him with a smirk. "I see that."

"I'm very grown up now." He told her as he leaned his hand on the car and looked back at her, eyeing her up and down.

"Shinji, it's late…. we should be going home."

He leaned in closer, whispering into her ear. "Good idea."

"I…. mean…. I should be getting home." Misato took a breath as she said. "Wow, I had a lot of fun with you tonight. You've changed so much."

"So have you." He told her as he looked at her. "You've become even more beautiful then I remember."

"You shouldn't…." Misato said as her voice trailed off. Misato felt strange as she looked back at him. She looked down at her keys fumbling with them in her hand. "We've both been drinking and I should go."

"You shouldn't be driving." He told her in a low voice. "You're right. You've been drinking."

"Shinji, don't…" Misato whispered as she looked into her eyes.

"There's something I haven't been able to get out of my head for years." He said to her as he stepped closer to her.

"Shinji, you're a married man. You shouldn't…." Misato told him as she sensed what his intentions were.

"I know." He told her gently as he gently moved a strand of hair from her face. "You shouldn't be driving though."

"Shinji…."

"Let me drive you back. I'm fine."

"Shinji, that's not a good idea." Misato said as she looked up at him.

"I know." He told her. "I want to anyway."

Misato took a deep breath as she looked into his face. She gently took his hand and placed the keys in them.

Shinji clutched onto the keys and walked around to the passenger side of the car, he unlocked the door and held the door open.

Misato smirked as she walked around to the passenger side of the car door and got inside. He watched her as she got inside and then he closed the door.

Coming around to the driver side, he opened the door and got inside, settling into the driver's seat., shutting the door as he stared back at her.

The song that had just been playing in the bar was playing in his head as he looked at her and it seemed to fit so right. He looked towards the windshield for a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to maintain his control.

"Shinji…." Misato said in a low voice.

Slowly, he turned to her and saw she was staring back at him.

"All those years ago," he told her gently as he looked at her. ", I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. That kiss…. was electrifying…you did something to me that I couldn't ever get out of my head. When I was the elevator on my way to Unit 1, I saw your blood on my hands…you gave your life for me."

"I would have." Misato told him with a smile. "I felt like I was going to die and then all of a sudden, there was white…. just this blank void of white…."

"That kiss was so different from anything I ever knew before." He told her as he looked at her. "I was a boy back then and I'm not that boy any more, Misato." He said to her as he looked at her.

"I know that." Misato whispered back at him.

Staring into her eyes, he came towards her and then she came at him. Their lips pressed against each other, their eyes shut, and their arms wrapped around one another and they kissed each other deeply.

What-am-I-doing? What-am-I-doing? What-am-I-doing? What-am-I-doing? Shinji's head went around in circles doing what he did with another woman who was not his wife.

Misato too felt the pangs of guilt at betraying the woman who she called her friend but she also was satisfying a need for a man that she waited for such a long time for.

Their kiss ran deeper as Shinji moved in closer to her, breathing hard through the kiss and knowing that what he was doing was wrong but, as he thought, I want this. I need her. I've waited so long for this. I'm not passing it up.

He couldn't stop kissing her though.

Her arms reached around him, underneath his jacket and ran her palms along his back.

As he kissed her, he became even bolder and ran his hand up and down her thigh.

"Shinji…" Misato whispered in between the kiss.

Shinji breathed heavy as he looked back at her and then he kissed her again, letting his passion for her unfold, holding her up against him as he became bolder with her and reached for her breast while he kissed her.

It was dark where they were.

They were parked in a parking lot that was pretty much emptied out. The car had tinted windows so that vision from the outside was protected. Inside this car, they had complete and total privacy. Prying eyes could not see in and they could be free to do anything they wanted.

He moved over her and kissed her neck, running his hand through her hair as his other hand slid along her thigh.

Misato fell into his kiss, she knew she was wrong for doing this, but she wanted this. She needed to be with him and feel his body against hers. She needed to satisfy a want she had for far too long.

All those years ago, Shinji had been a boy. Yet, even when he was that shy boy all those years ago she felt something for him. She had genuinely cared for him. Right before Third Impact, she had given him a good-bye gift and kissed him.

It was not a friendly kiss.

It was the kiss a woman gives a man when she wants him to know that she loves him. She had kissed him that day with a fire and passion that she made sure he knew existed. She wanted him to carry that all of his life. She had told him, "That's a grown up kiss. We'll do the rest when you get back."

Now, he was back.

She had hoped it would give him strength and propel him to conquer his fear even in the face of her death.

It had.

Now years later, after she had been given a second chance at life, she found him again. He was a married man with two children. His wife was her subordinate and her friend. To do this would be wrong but Misato was no stranger to sin.

He was still someone she had wanted to know again and as she was with him now, she didn't want to let him go.

She needed him.

She worked his jacket off of him, leaving him in his white long sleeved shirt. Quickly, she began to unbutton his shirt as her lips moved over his neck and made him breathe heavy.

He pushed up her dress, reaching underneath her, moving his hands along her thighs and discovering that Misato was not wearing panties.

His lips came back to hers, his touch was making her breathe heavy.

They both knew at this point they could not return from where they were headed. Shinji was committing an affair and Misato was betraying her friend.

He was no longer a boy.

He was a man and she was a woman.

She was a lot older then him, this she knew all too well but still, they were adults with a need for each other and a want for each other.

As she opened up his shirt and kissed him on his chest, he quickly undid his belt and undid his pants. He slid his pants and boxers down his legs and then he came towards her.

He kissed her deeper with an unyielding passion and fire and then she moaned as she felt him.

He breathed heavy as he moved over her, holding onto her, calling out her name, running his hands through her hair and over her body.

He pushed her dress up over her body and over her head. She was in her black bra and he quickly unsnapped it and took it off of her while he kept his momentum and stamina up.

She pulled on the automatic seat lever and allowed the seat to go back slowly, lying flat as he moved over her.

She moved her hands on the inside of his shirt, pulling it open so his chest was pressed up against her breasts and his abdomen moved against her own.

He was sweating heavily and she quickly rolled his shirt off of him, running her hands along his strong back drawing him closer to her.

His hands explored her body thoroughly and his mouth ran all over her body while they continued knowing they were wrong for doing what they were doing but not being able to hold back the wanton desires they had inside for one another.

She threw her head back as she moaned repeatedly. She smiled as she enjoyed what she felt from him.

Passion. Fire. Heat.

All of these emotions collided as she moaned out loudly while they moved with one another and kissed each other with a savage fervor.

Everything he did to her made her go into intense waves of passion and she held him against her.

She watched as he squeezed his eyes shut and then tightened his face as he held onto her and then she felt him let go.

He relaxed, holding onto her, breathing heavily. Her arms came around him and held him to her as they both breathed heavily, sweating from their passionate moment.

Then as he raised his head to look at her, he thought to himself. What have I done?

"Shinji…." Misato breathed out as she opened her eyes and stared into his own. She lightly touched his cheek and then pressed her lips to his and his eyes shut as he felt her kiss. He fell into that kiss and kissed her deeply, holding onto it as long as he could.

Asuka is my wife.

Suddenly, he broke from her with his eyes wide; he reached down and pulled his boxers and pants up.. He settled back into the driver's seat and leaned back.

Misato snapped her bra back on and began to pull herself together. .

He was buttoning his shirt back up when he gripped the steering wheel, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. What have I done?

"Damnit." .

"Shinji?" Misato asked as she put her dress back on and looked at him.

"I'm sorry." He told her as he turned his head and looked at her. "What I've done…. oh my God, Misato! What have we done?"

"Shinji, it's okay…" Misato said gently.

"No, its not." Shinji said as he looked back at her. "Misato, I've wanted to do that for so many years but…that was before Asuka became my wife. What I've just done…I've been unfaithful to her."

Misato breathed in as she said gently. "I wanted it to happen, Shinji."

"I did too." He said in a whisper. "That's why I feel so…guilty. There's only been one woman for me, Misato. Asuka is my wife. She's been my only one."

"I know that." Misato said gently. "Shinji, what just happened between us…I don't know…I think it was meant to happen."

Shinji breathed in as he heard her answer. He ran his hand through his hair and held the back of his head with both hands, laying his head on the steering wheel. "Goddamnit!" He growled. "Since I've been back here, my life has been out of control, spinning out of control! I have no control over anything! I don't even have control over myself!"

"Shinji." Misato said gently as she drew him to her and held him while his head rested on her shoulder and his arms came around her. "It's all right."

"I just feel so empty…so different. Asuka can never know, Misato. It would kill her. I can't do this ever again."

"It's okay." Misato told him gently. "This could last a lifetime for me. One memory of having been with you tonight is all I need. One time and the last time is fine."

He looked back to her as he gently touched her face and then whispered. "Misato, I've always loved you." He told her softly.

"I know." Misato told him. "I did too."

"My wife never even knew that." He told her gently as he looked into her eyes.

"It's okay, Shinji. This is our secret. Only ours forever." Misato told him as she ran her hand down his back.

He held her tighter and breathed in as he looked back into her face. He found himself drawn her to once more and they kissed gently and tenderly…for the last time.

Chapter 90

Shinji walked into his apartment in the dead of the night. As he checked his watch, he saw it was 3:30 and he was sure that if Asuka were awake a fight would result. He was quiet as he walked through the house. He took off his jacket and put it on the back of a chair.

He walked into the bedroom and saw she was sound asleep.

Quickly, he headed into the bathroom and then turned on the shower. He took off his clothes and could smell Misato's perfume all over his shirt. He knew that if Asuka caught wind of this he would be in major trouble.

He went into the shower and shut the shower door. The warm water came down upon him and in his mind, he heard that song playing in his head from the bar and then he saw himself with Misato in the car over and over again.

He washed himself and tried to fight the memories in his head and the guilt he felt.

I cheated on Asuka.

His thoughts were so confused. He couldn't believe that he had done such a thing and yet, he had known he had wanted to which made him furious.

I was unfaithful to my wife.

As he stepped out of the shower to dry himself, he put the towel around him and went back into the bedroom.

He saw that Asuka was still asleep. He reached into the drawer and pulled a pair of boxers and a t-shirt.

He dropped the towel to the floor as he put on his boxers and then as he was about to put on his t-shirt, he heard.

"You're home late." She said.

He turned to look at her and felt the enormous pangs of guilt pulsing through him. He put the shirt on and then went for the bedroom door.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"I was…. going to go sleep on the couch." He told her as he held the doorknob.

"You don't have to." Asuka said to him as she turned to face him. "Shinji, about before, I am so sorry I said what I said. Things have been…"

"…. Different." he finished.

"Yeah." Asuka told him.

"We've been so…"

"…Cold." he finished for her again.

"Yeah." Asuka said as she sat up. "I don't like that."

"Me neither." He told her as he looked away.

"Stay here with me, Shinji." Asuka whispered. "I need you."

He took a deep breath as he looked down and then back at her. "I can't tonight, Asuka. I'm sorry."

Then, he walked out of the door and went into the living room where he laid down onto the couch.

As soon as he did, a few minutes later, he heard something. He got up from the couch and followed the noise, it was coming from the bedroom, and he listened on the other side of the door. His eyes widened as he realized what it was.

Crying. Asuka hasn't cried like that in over five years.

He put his palm against the door and then taking a deep breath, he turned the handle and walked in.

Asuka sat up in bed as she looked at him with tears in her eyes. He stood in the doorway and looked back at her, he shut the bedroom door and then sat down on the bed looking at her.

She stared back at him as a tear rolled down her face. "Shinji…I don't want to lose you."

"You won't." he told her. "I told you a long time ago, I would protect you and love you forever. I meant it."

"Then, why do I feel like…we're losing each other."

Shinji reached for her hand and held it in his own as he looked back at her and said. "Because, we both want different things now."

Asuka nodded her head and then said. "I'm sorry what I said earlier. You aren't the shell of a man that you used to be, Shinji."

Then as he breathed in, he said. "Yes, I am, Asuka."

"No, you aren't!" Asuka said as she leaned forward and put her palms on both of his cheeks. "You are my husband! I love you! You are the love of my life! You're the father of my children! You are not the shell of a man that you used to be!"

"You're wrong." He said to her in a low voice. "I am."

"Shinji…don't believe what I said."

"It's the truth though, Asuka." He told her. "I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I am. Six months ago, we had a happy life and we had passion in our marriage. Now I'm not happy and our passion has diminished. The only thing I have here are you and the kids. This is not my home, Asuka. This is not the life I want! I'm nothing here, Asuka! Nothing! In that other life, I was something. I was a father, a husband, and a provider! Here, I have no life! I have no goal in mind of what I want to do! You tell me I could go back to school. So I go back to school and I study music theory and I sit in this lecture hall looking around the room thinking that I don't belong there. I don't know where I belong anymore! I want to go home, Asuka. I want to go back to a life I loved. You don't though. Now you have discovered that civilization is alive and you go shopping. You spend hours talking to your friends and having lunch, and playing with the kids, and taking them to daycare and going food shopping! You go to work and you get into that goddamned EVA simulator! You push yourself as hard as you can and you are great at it. You've become Captain Asuka Ikari and I'm proud of you for it! Asuka, that's your life. That's what you've always wanted. You wanted to be a great pilot. You did it. I know you love the kids and you love me but Asuka, sometimes its not enough. We have to do something, Asuka or we're both going to be miserable."

"I don't know what to do. I only know…I can't lose you."

"I can't lose you either." He told her. What have I done? I cheated on my wife.

"Shinji." Asuka whispered as she put her forehead against his own. "Let's make love, Shinji. Let's do it the way we used to. Let's be the way we used to be."

Shinji shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, then he answered her softly. "I can't." he told her as he held onto her hand, and opened his eyes slowly to stare into her eyes welling with tears.. "I can't tonight, Asuka. " Feeling guilt well up in him, he looked into her eyes and whispered. "I've done something very wrong." I have to tell her. She has to know…no, I can't tell her. She'll never trust me again. I can't ever let her know.

Asuka breathed in as she heard him and then asked. "What is it?"

Shinji stared into her eyes, thinking about what he had done with Misato only a few hours ago. He took a deep breath as he thought about whether or not, he should tell her and then taking a deep breath he said. "Asuka," he breathed out again and then said. ", I drank so much tonight. I shouldn't have…I passed out…. and I woke up it was late…. I just drank too much…"

"You're home now, it's okay." Asuka said to him. "I was so worried about you. I tried to wait up but…I didn't know. I thought I pushed you too far."

"You almost did." He responded.

"Shinji, we can get through this. We have to." Asuka told him.

"I know." He told her. "I just don't know how."

"Stay with me tonight." She whispered. "We don't have to make love tonight but I want you nearby. I need you."

He took a deep breath as he looked at her and then he lifted up the covers and got into bed, lying down.

She snuggled up next to him and his arms came around her. He held her close. While he held his wife though, thoughts of another woman went through his mind and he breathed in as he realized the crime he had committed and had hoped that his life could be better.

Chapter 91

Asuka walked in the door and sat her metallic briefcase down by the small end table in the apartment. As soon as she came into the living room, her daughter came running out of the kitchen and ran to her with open arms.

"Mommy!" She cried out happily.

Asuka smiled and picked her up, snuggling her close and giving her a kiss on the head. "Hey kiddo." She said with a grin. "Whatcha up to today?"

"A lot!" Hope said with a smile. "We went to the petting zoo today!"

"You did?" Asuka asked.

"Uh huh. Daddy let me pet a llama." Hope said with a smile. "The llama spit at Daddy."

"Uh oh." Asuka said with a chuckle as she sat her down. "Where is Daddy?"

"Looking out the window." Hope said.

Figures. Asuka thought. "Well, why don't you off and play and I'll go see how Daddy is."

"Okay." Hope said as she ran off to her room.

Asuka walked into the living room of the apartment and there by the window, sitting in the chair, just staring out into space, she saw her husband.

"Hi, there." She said with a grin.

He turned to her and smiled back at her and then continued to stare out into the window, staring out into space.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she walked over to him and stood in front of him.

:"Nothing." He said flatly. Except I lie to you. I was unfaithful to you. I hate this place. I feel like I'm worthless.

"I heard a llama spit at you today." She said.

Shinji chuckled and nodded. "Yeah."

"Shinji, what the hell is wrong? You've been moping around for days. You need to talk to me!"

"Nothing's wrong." He snapped. "I…. just…. I'm just relaxing."

"Yeah, you seem to be doing a lot of that lately." Asuka said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked her as he looked at her.

"Just…. you haven't done anything lately. You just sit around here all day. We've been back here for almost a year now and all you do is laze around the house. You gave up your commission so you're no longer an officer but there's got to be something you want to do with your life!"

"Oh, I see!" Shinji said as he stood up. "You think I'm a lazy bum, is that it?" he asked.

"I didn't say that." Asuka told him. "Just…. haven't you given any thought as to what it is you want to do?"

"I don't know." He said as he looked out of the window. "I just…I don't want to be a pilot anymore. I don't want to do it."

"Have I ever said that?" Asuka asked. "I never said that you should get back into the pilot's seat."

"No but you thought it!" Shinji told her.

Asuka breathed out and then shook her head. "I'm not dealing with you like this."

"Like what?" he asked her.

"Like this! You're being an ass."

"I'm being an ass?" he asked her. "How am I being an ass? You think I'm worthless and lazy! Just how am I being an ass? I'm just sitting here."

"That's the problem, Shinji." Asuka said. "You do this everyday. Tell me what's wrong. Don't tell me that nothing is wrong. I know you too well. When you were younger and something bothered you, you used to stare up at the sky for hours and nothing has changed. Shinji, you're acting like the way you did when you were younger, when we were at NERV and you used to bottle everything inside of you. You don't talk to anyone! You don't talk to me! You avoid Misato like the plague! You won't even talk to your father when he comes to visit and he tries to talk to you! I know something is wrong so why don't you tell me!"

"I HATE BEING HERE!" He yelled as he stood up and looked at her. "I HATE THIS WHOLE THING! I HATE THIS APARTMENT! I HATE THIS CITY! I HATE YOUR JOB! I HATE SEELE! I HATE THE EVA's. MY LIFE MEANS NOTHING HERE! I WANT TO GO BACK HOME! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!"

"I see." Asuka said.

"You told me any time we wanted to go back, just say the word. I want to go back! I don't feel like I belong here." Shinji told her flatly. "I don't feel like I have anything to contribute. I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I'm being pressured to pick a goddamned career and be something I'm not! Asuka, I want our life back! I want the life we lived down in the valley, in our home, with our family! I loved being there. That was my home, my life, and now, this…this life…I hate it!"

"Shinji, it will take time but it will get better." Asuka told him.

"No, it won't!" he said to her. "Not for me it won't!"

"Shinji, damnit, you need to give it a chance! You may not like this life but I DO! I like being what I am. I feel like I have a purpose. You may want to go back to living in those conditions but I don't! You can't ask me that! I like it here! I won't do it! I feel like I belong here."

"I don't." he told her as he turned and looked out of the window. "Asuka, ever since we came here our lives…. haven't been the same. We're not happy the way we used to be. I'm not happy. Everything about us has changed. We're not even as passionate as we used to be. We've been here for about a year and nothing is fitting in! I don't like that feeling! I want our life back!"

"Are you saying you want to go back to having nothing? To living the way we used to?" Asuka asked.

"I want our life back!' Shinji said firmly. "Yes, I want to go back to having our house in the valley. That life was good. I was happy there."

"I am happy here!" Asuka said firmly. "Why can't you understand? This is not about you anymore!"

"I NEVER SAID IT WAS ABOUT ME!" He yelled. He took a deep breath as he said calmly. "I just…I hate it here. Asuka, I don't know what I want to do. I don't feel like I fit in here. You fit in fine. You wanted the pilot's seat back and you do well at it. You're Captain Ikari and I know you love being a pilot again but Asuka, I don't feel like I'm worth anything here. I feel like I'm nothing."

"How can you think that?" Asuka asked him as she stepped closer to him. "Shinji, I love you very much. You are a wonderful husband and a loving father. You are a smart man and you have so much inside of you." Asuka wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head against his back. She shut her eyes as she whispered. "Shinji, I know this is hard. I know you miss our home and this place is very different. I know it's been a huge transition going from what we were to what are now. Honey, I need you though. You're my heart, Shinji. As long as you're here, I'm home. Remember, our rule? Where you go, I go. I don't want to leave. Don't tell me you would."

"Asuka, I hate it though. I don't feel like anything. I don't feel…like I belong." Shinji breathed in as he looked at her and turned away from her. "I want to go home, Asuka."

"This is home, Shinji." Asuka said. "My home is with you. As long as you're here with me, I'm home. Why can't you feel that way too? Aren't I enough for you? Isn't this enough for you?"

Shinji looked at her and said. "No, its not! Give it up, Asuka. Give it up and let's go home. You said to me anytime I wanted to go back home just say the word. I'm saying it! Let's go! Let's go back to our home. Asuka, we were happy there. I just want our home in the valley and I want you with me."

"I don't want to leave here, Shinji. I will not leave the city."

Shinji breathed in as he looked at her. "Whatever happened to where I go you'll go. Whatever happened to, I'll never leave you. Whatever happened to I am your wife now and forever."

Asuka breathed in as she said gently. "It's going to take time, you have to realize this, but soon you'll feel good again. Honey, there's so much you are capable of. What about music, Shinji? Isn't college working out for you? I know how much you love music. Isn't that an option?"

"I don't feel like I belong there." He said to her.

"Why not?' Asuka asked him. "You constantly read while we were on the move. You educated yourself so much. Shinji, could that give you a purpose? That could be something you could be happy with, couldn't it?"

"I don't know." He said to her as he turned to her and held her against him. "Asuka, I'm just…I'm so uncertain. I don't know what I'm supposed to be. I want to be a good provider for our family. I just don't feel like I am here. Asuka, I've made…. so many mistakes here. I'm nothing here. I don't feel like I'm worth anything."

"You give our family so much love, that's more then money or wealth could ever be. Your work could be anything you want it to be. I don't care what you do; I just want you to be happy. You could even be a carpenter…you were good at that back home. You could do that here! I don't care what you do. I want you to be happy. I want the man who used to be my husband back…I need you, Shinji. I love you and I need you. You need to come back to me."

"Going home would make me happy." He whispered to her.

"Shinji, I know you miss it." Asuka said to him. "You have to understand though, Honey, I love what I do. I really do love it but if I don't have you and the kids, then I don't have anything. When all of us are together, I feel like…I can do anything. You are the source of my strength. You give me the will to do anything in this world that I put my mind to. Honey, find your strength. Look inside of yourself. Use my strength, Shinji. Use it to its fullest potential. Honey, I want us to stay and try this. I want us to try and make this work. In order to make it work though, I need you and our family. Please, honey, please try…I know I am asking a lot but I just want you to try…please?"

Shinji took a deep breath and then nodded his head. "I don't think I want to."

Then he walked away from her and settled back into his char, staring at the window.

Asuka took a deep breath as she walked away from him.

Chapter 92

Two weeks later, Shinji was in the park with Hope and Souke was in his stroller. He watched while his daughter played with another little girl in the sandbox and he looked down at his son in the stroller and smiled.

Six months. He said to himself as he looked around the area. I've been here for six months now. Why does it still feel…so unfamiliar, so cold, and so unwelcoming? I see people and I don't know them. Misato. I look at her and its not the same. I can't get that night out of my head. I look at her and I see someone different. My father. Who is he? Why is it I know no one? Why is it I feel alone? Asuka even seems different now. She's found her purpose. She's an officer. It's like she has a new life, a life I don't belong to. We're getting worse. We don't know who we are anymore. Who am I now? All I want is our home in the valley, the life we used to have. This is for Hope and Souke I know this all too well but they could have that there too. Why did I come back here? Why is it I feel like I don't belong but yet, I do in some way? My questions go unanswered. My life feels so out of order. What am I doing?

"Daddy!" Hope called out as she ran up to him. "Can I go on the monkey bars with Renko? He's the little boy over there! Please, Daddy?"

Shinji took a deep breath as he nodded. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will, Daddy. I promise." Hope said with a large smile as she ran off to play with a little blond headed boy.

Shinji smirked as he watched her and then he heard Souke in the stroller. He looked down and bent over the stroller, picking up his son and holding him in his arms.

"Ikari?"

Shinji raised an eyebrow as he heard a voice from behind him; it was a man's voice. He recognized it but it still felt unfamiliar. He turned around slowly and there his eyes widened as he saw a tall man with a dark hair, wearing a sweater and jeans looking at him with a wide smile.

"Holy shit!" The man exclaimed as he saw him. "It is you! Shinji! Holy shit!"

Shinji looked back at him and then he breathed in with a smile as he asked. "Suzi….hara?"

"Yeah!" he said with a wide smile. "It's me!"

Shinji laughed as he looked at him and then said. "Oh my God, Touji!"

"Hey, Shinji!" He said as he came over to him and smiled widely. "Whoa…. I can't believe…. that…. you're…. standing here, in front of me! It's been like ten years!"

"At least." Shinji said.

"I thought you were dead." Suzihara said to him as he looked at him.

"I thought you were too." Shinji said.

"Hey, is that…no way, Shinji! Is that your baby?" Suzihara asked as he saw the little boy in Shinji's arms.

"Yeah." Shinji said with a smile. "This is Souke."

"You're married now?" Suzihara asked.

"Yeah. Almost six years now." Shinji said as he showed the ring on his finger while he held Souke.

"Six…years?" Suzihara asked. "What? Wait, a second…. who did you end up with…. wait a minute…wait a second…"

Shinji chuckled as he looked at Suzihara and then he heard.

"Daddy?"

Suzihara looked over at the little girl with bright red hair and deep blue eyes coming towards them and then as he looked over at Shinji, he chuckled as he said. "No…. don't tell me."

"Hey Daddy?"

"Yeah, Baby?" Shinji asked as he turned around to her.

"Daddy, is it okay that I go on the slide now?"

"Yeah, honey, go ahead." Shinji told her with a smile.

"Daddy?" Hope asked as she looked over at Suzihara. "Who's your friend?"

"This is Touji." Shinji told her.

"Hello there." Touji said with a smile as he looked at the little girl.

"Hi." She said. "I'm Hope. I'm five years old."

"Oh." Suzihara said as he looked over at Shinji and then back at the little girl. "Its nice to meet you."

"You too." Hope said. "Daddy, can I go play?"

"Yeah, Baby." He told her with a smile. "Be careful, okay?"

"Okay." Hope said as she ran off.

"I should have known." Suzihara said as he looked over at Shinji. "You and Asuka. Figures."

Shinji chuckled and nodded his head.

"What is it we used to call you two?"

"Oh no." Shinji said as he rolled his eyes and looked at his friend.

"Oh yeah." Suzihara said with a laugh. "The newlyweds!"

Shinji chuckled as he shut his eyes and shook his head. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Two kids huh?" Suzihara asked.

"Yup." Shinji said as he held his son.

"Hey, you know I haven't seen you in ages! Do you think your wife would object to me taking you out for a few drinks?"

"I don't think so." Shinji said.

"Great. So why don't we do that later?" Suzihara asked.

"Sounds great." Shinji said. "Hey, where's Kensuke? Do you still hang around with him?"

Suzihara's face dropped as he breathed in and then said. "He never made it back, Bro."

Shinji then suddenly felt sadness wash over him as he breathed in. "He…. didn't?"

"A lot of people didn't." Suzihara said. "Goddamned Third Impact. So many disappeared you know. I thought for years you were gone. Now to see you standing here, in the middle of the park, with two kids and…well, it makes things a little better now."

"Yeah." Shinji said. "It does. Why don't you come back to our house? We can have some lunch and then when Asuka gets back we'll go out."

"Sure." Suzihara said with a smile.

Shinji grinned at him as he put his son back in the stroller and as he stood up he felt strong arms around him giving him a hug and a slap on the back.

"It's good to see you." Suzihara said as his voice cracked.

Shinji smiled and hugged his friend back as he slapped him on the back saying. "You too."

Chapter 93

When evening came, Suzihara and Shinji went to a local bar. Before they had left, they spent a few hours at Shinji and Asuka's house just sitting, laughing, and reminiscing about old times.

Asuka, when she came from work that day, was surprised to see him but happy nonetheless to see an old friend.

Asuka knew that Shinji hadn't seen any old friends in such a long time and therefore, agreed to him going out with Suzihara while she stayed at home with Hope and Souke.

The only thing she asked was that he not get too drunk and that he be home at a somewhat reasonable time.

As Shinji and Suzihara sat at a bar near to where Shinji lived, they laughed and talked as they downed beers and just enjoyed hanging out.

"So," Suzihara had told him. ", You and Asuka are the newlyweds, aren't you?"

Shinji had laughed when he heard him and nodded his head. "Not so newlywed now. All though, we still act like we are." Shinji had said with a smirk and a laugh.

Suzihara had laughed at him and patted his friend on the back. "Its good to see you again, man. Damn, look at you. You've…. changed."

"Yeah." Shinji said to him.

"So, at eighteen you married Asuka?"

Shinji nodded his head again. "I couldn't imagine not doing it." He told him. "Touji, you have to understand what it was like. We thought we were the only people alive."

"Yeah and I'll bet you had non stop sex nearly every single day didn't you?" Touji asked.

Shinji chuckled as he said. "Well, not at first…it took a while."

"How long?" Touji asked.

"Ah, c'mon." Shinji said as he sipped on his beer and smirked.

"Seriously. How long?"

"Three years." Shinji said.

"Three years?" Touji asked with a laugh. "You guys thought you were the only man and woman left on earth and it took you three years to have sex with each other? Not for nothing, Ikari, I would have been slamming that ass that the second day I was there."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Shinji said. "That's my wife you're talking about! I was also fourteen going on fifteen at the time…it was different back then."

"Well, its true! Dude, I've seen your wife, okay? Asuka was slamming back then and she sure as hell is now as well." Suzihara said with a grin. "I would have."

"Well, I'm not like you." Shinji said. "All though when it did finally happen, the first time lasted a little over…two days." Shinji said as he sipped his beer with a smirk.

Slowly, Suzihara turned and looked at him as he said. "Get the fuck outta here! You and Asuka? Two days? Straight?"

"Well, not straight." Shinji said. "We did rest and eat. But after that, yeah." Shinji said with a grin. "Since then, it has not stopped."

"And you only have two kids, Ikari?" Suzihara asked.

"Yeah." Shinji said. "Believe me, I'm surprised about that too!"

"Why is it you never tried to contact anybody?" Suzihara asked.

Shinji chuckled and said. "Believe it or not, we never thought about it. We figured there was no one. The telecommunications where we were were completely destroyed. Please, if we actually found a place with electric we were lucky."

"So, you lived outside most of the time?" he asked.

"Yeah." Shinji said. "For three years, we concentrated on survival and of course, each other." Shinji said with a chuckle as he drank more of his beer.

"Hey!" Suzihara said as he put his friend in a loose headlock and called over to the bartender. "Another round for my buddy here. Keep 'em comin' okay. I got this bill."

"Knock it off!" Shinji said with a laugh as he drank his beer and was released from Suzihara's headlock. "Let me give you some of it at least…"

"Nah, you keep your money. I make enough." Suzihara said. "I haven't seen you in ten years, Ikari. Ten years! We're drinkin' tonight and it's on me."

"Thanks, Suzihara." Shinji said. "So, what did you end up doing?"

"Well," Suzihara said as he drank more of his beer. "After my retirement from NERV, I went to college. I met a few hotties and I decided, what the hell, I'll be a teacher."

"You're a teacher?"

"High school math." Suzihara said. "Funny, isn't it?"

"You're a teacher now?" Shinji said with a chuckle. "Okay, I could see that." He said as he began to laugh and drank more of his beer.

"What about you? Any idea of what you're going to do in this civilized society?"

"Not a clue." Shinji said. "One thing is for certain, I'll be damned if I set foot on a fucking SEELE base ever again."

"Asuka kept her rank though, right? She didn't retire?"

"Nope." He said. "Asuka didn't retire. Captain Asuka Ikari. She's in the damned EVA simulator almost everyday."

"You hate it, don't you?" Suzihara asked.

"Is it that obvious?" Shinji asked with a scowl. "I thought after the baby she'd slow down a little. Not Asuka, not for a minute."

"Oh yeah." Suzihara said. "In fact, when you look like that you look like the way you used to."

"I hate what the EVA's did to us." Shinji told Suzihara. "The EVA's almost killed Asuka. SEELE tried to execute me. Now they want us back? What will they do once we've exhausted our usefulness? Will they try to kill us again?"

"Yeah but Misato is in charge. Its different."

"Politics are always the same." Shinji said as he sipped his beer. "I don't trust them and if they try to hurt Asuka, I will kill them."

"Okay." Suzihara said. "Enough downer shit now. Let's get back to talking about…I don't know…Asuka's ass?"

Shinji shut his eyes and began to laugh as he looked back at his friend and said. "I can't believe you just said that!"

"Got you off of the subject, didn't it?" Suzihara said. "C'mon, Ikari. Get drunk. Be happy. Go home later. Have your wife yell at you and then you can have make up sex "

"Deal." Shinji said as he clinked his bottle with his friend's. "Oh! First, Asuka has to beat my ass."

"Your wife beats you up?" Suzihara asked with a laugh.

"Yeah but, " Shinji said with a laugh. "Its so worth it for what happens after." He said with a laugh as they both drank their beers and laughed.

"You're a sick fuck, Ikari." Suzihara said as he handed him another beer and they prepared to drink. "Hey, I'm glad you're here."

Shinji nodded his head and said. "Its good to see you too. "

Chapter 94

Shinji opened the front door to his apartment and staggered in, laughing hysterically. Suzihara was behind him also laughing.

The apartment was dark and as they laughed Shinji put his finger to his lips. "Shh…. you don't want to wake up Asuka. She'll kick your ass."

"Oh goody." Suzihara said with a laugh.

Shinji also began to laugh and then the lights came on and Asuka was standing in the middle of the living room in her long, red terrycloth bathrobe, arms crossed, looking quite irritated.

"Hello, Suzihara. Hello, Idiot!" She growled.

"Idiot!" Suzihara said with a loud belly laugh. "Oh, my God! She still calls you idiot?"

"Yeah, its her pet name for me." Shinji said as he began to laugh as he looked at his wife.

"Shinji! Goddamnit, Shinji!" Asuka growled.

"Hi, Honey!" he said as he outstretched his arms with a wide smile.. "I'm home!" Then, he busted up laughing as Suzihara fell on the floor cracking up with roaring laughter.

"Touji, will you be quiet? My children are sleeping!" Asuka snapped.

"I'm sorry. That was just…too fuckin' funny." Suzihara said as he stood up.

"Good night, Suzihara." Asuka said firmly.

"Good luck." Suzihara said as he patted his friend on the back.

"You're not driving right, Touji?" Asuka asked.

"No, Asuka. Automated driver. Preprogrammed. I wouldn't get behind the wheel like this. Remember, I'm a role model! A teacher has to set an example!"

"Good. Get out!" Asuka said as she looked at her husband who straightened up and couldn't stop laughing.

Suzihara waved bye and then walked out of the door, shutting it behind him, as he laughed.

"You're drunk." Asuka said as she walked forward.

"Uhhh…. yeah. I thought you liked me when I was drunk." Shinji said with a laugh.

"Seeing that I've only seen you drunk one time before this one, I would say no. You're silly as hell when you get drunk." She said to him.

"Yeah, you know you like it." He said to her with a smirk as he looked at her.

Asuka narrowed her eyes at him and walked up to him.

She took a deep breath as she looked at him.

"Lights off!" Asuka said aloud and the lights in the apartment dimmed, leaving only the moonlight from the window, as she looked at him. "I was worried about you, you idiot!" Asuka said softly as she grabbed onto his jacket and looked into his eyes.

"I was just out with Suzihara." He said to her. "I haven't seen my friend in ten years. Can you cut me some slack?"

"I understand that you wanted to see you friend but damnit, Shinji, its one am! I was worried! You're in trouble, you idiot." Asuka said to him.

"Oh really? I like it when I'm in trouble with you." He told her as his arms came around her. "I love it when you call me an idiot."

"Shinji…"

"Shh…." He whispered to her as his lips came towards her.

Asuka fell into his kiss. Her arms went around his neck as he held her tight. His hands ran up and down her back as he held her tight, kissing her gently and tenderly.

"Shinji…." Asuka breathed out. "…. you haven't kissed me like that in a while."

"I know." He whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck gently.

Asuka reached for his jacket and then pushed his jacket off of him, letting it fall to the floor as he held her in his arms and kissed her lips and held her tight against his body.

He kissed her deeper with more passion, their breathing quickened and then he started to back her towards the bedroom.

"Shinji…you are in deep…." Asuka breathed out as he kissed her neck.

"I can't wait." He told her with a smirk as he kissed her lips and held her in his arms.

"What are you doing to me?" She asked with a laugh.

"Exactly what you expect of me." He told her again in a breath in between the kiss that they exchanged as he pulled her robe open and started to pull it down.

Her hands went to the buttons on his shirt as she quickly started unbuttoning them and then led him into the bedroom, where they walked in and shut the door.

Shinji and Asuka fell onto the bed with one another, their arms entangled around one another, working their clothes off of each other as quickly as possible as passion took over.

"It's been way too long." Asuka whispered to him.

"I know." He told her. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." She responded as he kissed her and held her body close to him as they soon found the intensity and fire that had long since been absent in their lives since they came back here.

Chapter 95

In the morning, he awoke with his arms around her. Clothes were strewn all over the floor and the bed looked like the sheets and comforter had basically been tossed all around. As he lay on his back with Asuka against his chest and his arms around her with just a sheet covering them both he breathed in deeply as he felt rejuvenated in more ways then he could ever count. He snuggled her closer into his body and kissed the top of her head.

She stirred and moved her hand over his chest as she opened her eyes and looked up at him with a smile.

"Good morning." She said.

"Good morning." He told her with a smile.

"You look rested." She told him with another smirk as she leaned on her side while his fingers traced up and down her back.

"I feel terrific." He told her with a smile.

"There's something I've missed seeing." Asuka said to him as she lightly tucked his hair behind his right ear.

"Oh, what's that?" he asked her.

"Your smile. I've been wondering where that went to." She said gently.

"I've been a jerk lately." He said to her. "It wont' be like that anymore."

"No?" Asuka asked.

"No." he told her.

"Are you sure this isn't like an after sex promise?"

"How about a lifetime commitment?" he asked her. "If you want us to stay here and make it work, we will. We will, Asuka. I'll try to find something that is good for me and will be good for me. I will try to be what you need me to be and what you expect me to be."

Asuka smiled at him and said. "That's the guy I remember."

"He's back." Shinji said with a smirk.

Asuka smiled at him as they kissed one another tenderly. She moved over him and he held her in his arms against his body, smiling back at her as he kissed her again.

Chapter 96

Keeping true to his promise, Shinji tried to make an effort to stick to what he promised. He went to school regularly and when the family ate dinner together, the conversation was lively and happy.

Their children were a lot happier too as they noticed that Mommy and Daddy weren't fighting at all.

The Ikari's also entertained a lot more. They frequently had people over like Shinji's father for example, Touji and his girlfriend, Misato and a few friends both Asuka and Shinji had made either through work or by getting to know their neighbors.

For Shinji and Asuka their lives seemed to be returning to a normal speed. Shinji had even learned to forgive himself for the affair he committed and moved past it.

When Misato came by for a visit he took a minute to speak to her privately as he said. "I've come to understanding how I feel now. I'm not scared of anything anymore. I feel like….I should feel and how I used to. Everything's going to be okay. " He told her with a renewed smile.

"I'm glad." Misato said to him gently.

"You helped again, you know." He told her. "I found what I needed to find, Misato and now my life feels…. whole."

Misato smiled and nodded her head as she watched him with Asuka and their children. She knew what had happened between them was a one-time thing and only because they both had been drunk and confused.

Now though, she could see his reasons for life and she smiled. Misato would keep what happened between her and Shinji a secret. She swore that she would never tell a living soul and take it to her grave.

Chapter 97

Shinji had just returned from class and picked up the newspaper. He walked in the door and checked his watch. It was half past three. Asuka would be home from work soon with Hope and Souke.

As he walked in and set his knapsack down on the floor, he settled into his favorite chair and looked through the paper. Real Estate listings – Five bedrooms, three bath…good school district…hmmm, don't like the way it looks. Four bedroom, 2 and half bath…kitchen, dining room, great room…. for sale by owner, good school district…."

Stretching, he said aloud. "House hunting is going to be tough."

He had an odd feeling today and couldn't quite explain it. He breathed in and then looked back towards the west, towards, what he still considered, his home. He took another deep breath and continued to read through the paper.

Moments later, he heard the front door fly open and then looked as he thought he saw Asuka running into the bedroom.

"Asuka?" he called out.

"Yeah!" Asuka yelled out from the bedroom.

"Where are the kids?" he asked.

"Day Care!" Asuka called out.

"Well after we pick them up, do you want to go to that suburb we talked about yesterday? I want to take a look at that house over by Ohana Nui Circle. It was that Western one remember? I can't wait until we get a new house! I don't like the apartments too much! A house will be perfect! Especially that one we saw the other day, that school district was great and there was the pool down the block. You know the one I'm talking about? The one you said was kind of European slash Japanese? What do you think?"

"Can't, Honey. I gotta go." Asuka said as she came out of the bedroom, dressed in her uniform, putting her battle gloves on, and picking up the phone.

"Where?" he asked her as he put the paper down.

"Shinji, I have to go. Central Command has called a Red Alert. There's a potential for an angel attack."

"Here?" he asked as he got up from his chair and walked towards her. "You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not. Shinji, I have to go. I was on my way to get the kids and I got the call. The car is waiting out front. I have to go, Honey."

Shinji shook his head at her and then yelled out. "Asuka, don't tell me your going to fight in a potential attack?"

"Shinji, its' my job." Asuka told him as she looked at him. "Right now I have a duty to fulfill."

"Duty?" Shinji asked as he looked at her angrily. "What about your duty to me?"

"I am…. I am not doing this right now with you." Asuka growled as she turned her back.

"Don't you walk from me!" He growled out.

Asuka stopped in her tracks as she bit her lip and turned to look at him. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me. Don't you walk away from me!" He said angrily.

"You don't issue ultimatums to me!" Asuka growled back.

"I am your husband, damnit." Shinji said firmly. "You will listen to me when I speak to you!"

"Oh really? You fucking idiot, how dare you!" Asuka asked sarcastically as she walked forward. "What in the hell is wrong with you?"

"Do you have to ask me that?" he asked her as he shook his head. "You ran in here. Changed into your uniform and just informed me that you have to go fight in a battle and you don't think that's major?"

"Damnit, its my job. I have to be out there to defend against an angel attack!" She told him.

"What if it goes bad?" he asked her. "Don't go out there. Don't risk your life like this."

"It is my duty and my responsibility." Asuka said firmly.

"Duty and responsibility?" he asked her. "There used to be one duty and one responsibility in your life, Asuka! It was us! Your family! How can you trade up like that?"

"Trade up?" Asuka said as she raised her eyebrow. "How dare you!"

"You don't care how I feel about this, do you, Asuka?" Shinji barked. "You just do whatever you want, whenever you want and to hell with what I think!"

"Damnit, its my job!" Asuka growled. "I know what I'm doing. I've been training for over a year. I'm the best shape of my life. I am not afraid to get out there to prevent an attack! It's my duty. I want to be promoted, Shinji."

"Promoted? Now your career is worth more then your life?"

"Don't you go there with me!" Asuka growled. "This is about me getting in Unit 2 today. This is about keeping me away FROM MY JOB! You don't understand, Shinji! I am a born pilot! This is what I'm supposed to do! I am an EVA pilot and I love being one."

"What about being my wife?" he asked her. "What about being a mother, Asuka? Is that important too?"

"You son a bitch!" Asuka growled.

"Asuka, I am scared. If you get in that thing, I'm afraid you won't come back."

"Shinji…." Asuka said softly as she looked at him.

Shinji walked over to her and then took her into his arms as he placed his forehead against hers saying gently. "If you died, I couldn't take that. I don't want to do to Hope what was done to me when I was a child. She needs you, Asuka. Souke needs you. I need you most of all. Why can't you see from my perspective? If I lose you, I have nothing."

"Shinji, believe in me." Asuka whispered. "Let me do my job. I can do this. Believe in me, honey, please. I'm strong enough to defend off this enemy!"

"Please don't do this." He said to her gently. "Don't get into the unit today. Don't put your life at risk for these sons of bitches!"

"I have my duty." Asuka said firmly.

"What about your duty to me? What about your duty to your children, Asuka?" Shinji asked her as he backed away from her. "I am your husband!"

"And I am your wife!" Asuka yelled out.

"Asuka, damnit, stop being so full of yourself!" Shinji yelled out.

"You know what, I'm going. I don't give a damn what you say." Asuka yelled as she went for the door. "This conversation is over."

"Asuka!" Shinji called out.

Asuka continued to ignore him and walked out the door. Shinji sighed angrily and then chased after her saying. "ASUKA, DAMNIT, GET BACK HERE!"

As Shinji ran down the hall, he saw her by the elevator and as she stepped in, he yelled out. "Asuka, we need to finish this."

"Finished." Asuka said with a smile as she rose her middle finger at him while the elevator doors closed and an elderly woman looked at Asuka with her mouth open. "Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." Asuka said to the elderly woman.

"Asuka!" Shinji yelled out as he hit down on the elevator panel and then he looked over at the door to the stairs and ran to it, running down the stairs as fast as he could. He ran down seven flights and then just as he came down, he saw Asuka in the street getting into a car.

"Asuka!" Shinji yelled as he tore out of the building.

Again, Asuka waved at him and got in the car.

"Asuka, wait!" Shinji yelled out as he ran up to the car. "Asuka, roll down the window! Asuka! Asuka!"

Asuka looked at him from the window and smirked again as she blew him a kiss and waved at him as the car drove away, leaving Shinji on the sidewalk furious.

"Damnit, Asuka." He growled. Quickly, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed. "Misato, its Shinji."

"Yes, Shinji."

"I need to get inside."

Misato was silent for a minute and then said. "Where are you?"

"Home." He told her.

"I'll send a car for you with clearance."

"Thank you, Misato." He said as he hung up and took a deep breath as he looked in the direction of where Asuka's car went.

Chapter 98

"Control, this is Captain Ikari." Asuka said into her headset. "Let's start this party."

"Captain Ikari, you are Go for launch."

"Roger." Asuka said as she flipped switches and then relaxed in the pilot seat. She felt herself doused in the liquid that bridged the gap from her to her EVA unit and made her in sync with it. Then with a smirk she said. "Show time."

The unit launched through the tunnel and came up on the surface and Asuka smirked as she charged forward, running with all of her speed, crashing through everything in sight.

Asuka smiled as she felt the joy of the power that she had once possessed a long time ago. It invigorated her and she removed her weapon of choice from the side holster on the EVA, her battle knife.

Asuka then saw the object. It was oddly shaped. Almost like a pentagon. It was silver and lights pulsed all along it. It was not moving. It simply hovered. It had a huge eye in the center of it and then the eye shifted towards her.

Grinning from ear to ear, she stared her opponent down and said. "Try me."

The object stood its ground and didn't seem to be exuding energy of any type. It stood at a standoff with Asuka's unit.

For months, Asuka had prepared for this day. She had been in the simulator nearly every hour that she was on duty. She knew this Unit one hundred percent and she knew what she was capable of.

"C'mon!" Asuka said with a chuckle. "Let's see you try to get me down."

Then she heard in her head, a voice, a familiar, yet unfamiliar voice and spoke to her. Asuka Ikari, do not resist. Ikari must return.

She breathed in as she heard it and then asked aloud. "Who…. are you?"

The voice repeated again. Asuka Ikari, do not resist. Ikari must return.

Chapter 99

In the control room, Shinji had just arrived. He stood before the monitor watching the standoff. Misato stood behind the officers at the terminals with her arms crossed, watching Asuka carefully.

Misato adjusted her headset and then said. "Asuka, do not, repeat, do not engage the target until it makes an aggressive stance. Is that clear?"

"Roger." Asuka's voice said. "It's sending a message are you reading it, over?"

"No communication detected. What's the message?" Misato asked.

"It's telling me not to resist. It's saying: Ikari return. It wants Shinji. I won't let that happen, over." Asuka said firmly. "Colonel, I advise engaging the target."

"Negative, Captain. You will not engage the target unless the target makes an defensive action, is that clear?"

"Understood." Asuka said.

Shinji's breathing quickened, as he knew that his wife could be in great danger if this target decided to attack. His heart was beating rapidly. He wished earlier that he could have taken back what he said to her before she left to go. He wished he could have held her and told her he loved her.

He only wished right now that she were out of that monstrosity and back with him. Yet, he knew Asuka too well. She was a dedicated officer, an excellent pilot and a strong fighter – nothing would deter her from her objective.

Her objective was clear.

Prevent an attack at all costs.

"Colonel, " the officer at the desk said. ", strange energy readings coming from the target."

"ATV field?" Misato asked.

"Unknown." The officer said.

"Get her out of there." Shinji said to Misato. "Get her out of there now!"

"Shinji, calm down." Misato told him as she focused on the screen. "Asuka knows what she's doing. Control to Captain Ikari."

"Captain Ikari." Asuka said over the comm..

"Asuka, do you read an ATV field being emanated from the target?"

"Roger. No threat to Unit 2." Asuka said. "Anti-ATV holding. Unit 2 is primed and ready, over."

"Damnit, Asuka." Shinji said nervously as he gritted his teeth.

Then in a very Asuka-like fashion she said. "Control, is Mr. Ikari there currently?"

Misato grinned as she looked at Shinji and then said. "Uh…. yeah, Asuka. Shinji's here."

"Tell my husband that he is AN IDIOT!"

"Did you hear that?" Misato asked Shinji.

Shinji nodded his head with a smirk and said. "Yeah." He scratched the back of his neck as he looked over at monitor.

Misato chuckled as she said. "Some things never changed between the two of you, did it?"

Shinji grinned and then said. "Some things didn't. I'm still the idiot."

Misato laughed, and then cleared her voice as she said. "Asuka, stay on approach. Maintain your cover."

"Roger." Asuka said over the comm.

"Misato, can I something to her? I need to." Shinji said.

Misato smiled as she took off her headset and handed it to him.

Shinji took the headset and put it on. He took a deep breath as he said. "Asuka, can I tell you something?"

"Shinji…. what are you doing? Why are you on base? Who gave you clearance?" Asuka asked.

"Asuka, listen to me. Please, Asuka." Shinji said. "I need to tell you something…Asuka, damnit, please listen to me."

"Oh! Excuse me! When the hell did you get a higher rank then me? Oh wait! Wait, forgot. You're a civilian. Oh, wait, that means…. you can't tell me to do shit! Not here! Not home! Not anywhere!"

Shinji breathed out as he said. "Please, be careful. I love you."

Misato breathed in as she heard him. She took a look at him realizing that the past indiscretion was wrong but still it was fresh in her mind. To hear him say that to another woman, even though she was his wife, was still unsettling to her.

"Oh so now you're on my side?" Asuka asked angrily.

"Asuka, what I said earlier…listen to me. I just want you to come home." He said to her.

Asuka breathed in as she heard him and then said. "I love you too…Idiot!"

"Be careful, Honey." He told her.

"Shinji…. I will." Asuka whispered to him.

Chapter 100

Asuka looked at the target in front of her and then quickly, it moved. Asuka jumped into action. She charged forward and unleashed her ATV field at the object, smiling as she watched it shake.

She cut her field and got ready to strike and then looked at the object in front of her and that's when it came at her fast and she shrieked as she felt pain rip through her.

"ASUKA IKARI, DO NOT RESIST."

"Who the fuck are you?" Asuka asked in pain as she felt shocks of energy go through her system.

"Do not resist." The voice said to her again.

"Go to hell!." Asuka said as she unleashed her ATV field again.

"Asuka, you have to trust us."

It was Shinji's voice. Asuka looked around as she said. "Shinji?"

"Trust us, Asuka." Shinji's voice said to her.

"You aren't my husband!" Asuka yelled. "Kiss your ass goodbye."

Then the EVA launched a missile directly at the target and it exploded on contact.

"You have left us no other choice!"

Asuka shrieked in pain as she felt pain rip through her. It was like when she was attacked all of those years ago and suddenly she found herself saying the same thing she did back then. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

The energy pulsed through her body. It was agonizing and horrific. She felt like she did all those years ago when she was descended upon, ripped apart, her mind ravaged, her fear was great and she couldn't move.

While she was being tortured she called out as loud as she could. "SHINJI! SHINJI!"

Chapter 101

Shinji's eyes went wide as he heard her voice call his name over the comm. He looked at Misato and then up at the screen, he breathed heavily and found his anger pulsing through him, his fist clenched.

"Contact with EVA Unit 2-A has been terminated!"

"What?" Shinji yelled out as he looked out at the screen.

"Re-establish communication!" Misato ordered.

"Negative, Colonel. She's not receiving our signal. The angel has initiated jamming radar. The ATV field that's confining Captain Ikari is NOT preventing any communication from us to her! We're losing cohesive factor! Colonel, the angel is using an ATV anti-stabilizer, it's breaking down. We can't reach her."

"Eject the pilot!" Misato yelled out.

"We can't, Colonel." The operator said as she looked up at Misato and Shinji. "We have no control over EVA Unit 2-A."

Shinji looked out at the screen. His heart was beating a mile a minute and he wished he could jump through that screen and rescue Asuka.

"What's happening to her? Damnit, Misato, tell me!" Shinji yelled out.

"The angel has confined EVA Unit 2-A. The ATV field is slowly dissolving the unit and the pilot." Misato took a deep breath as she said. "Send Unit's 3 and 4 into action. Ready all pilots to disable that ATV field Recover Captain Ikari at all costs!"

Shinji looked back to the screen and then began to breathe heavily as his hand turned into a fist. Asuka is dying. I can't let that happen.

As he looked at the screen, he heard Asuka over the COM scream again.

"SHINJI, I NEED YOU!"

He looked back at Misato. He took another breath as he looked at the screen and then taking a deep breath, he stood up and asked firmly. "Is EVA Unit 1 operational?"

"Shinji," Misato said as her eyes widened. ", You haven't been in an EVA in over ten years. EVA Unit 1 has been off line for ten years! It accepts no one! How can you expect to pilot it?"

"I know I can." Shinji said. "Unit 1 will accept me. To save Asuka I will pilot Unit 1."

"Out of the question. Its too dangerous." Misato said angrily.

"GODDAMNIT, MISATO! THAT'S MY WIFE!" Shinji yelled out. "I can do it. Give me clearance to Unit 1!"

"NO!" Misato said firmly.

"Belay that Order!"

Shinji looked up and saw the older Commander Ikari stand and look down at him. "His sync ratio will still match. Colonel Katsuragi, re-instate him. Send Captain Ikari to EVA Unit 1."

"Sir!" Misato said as she looked up Gendo. "Captain Ikari has not logged in a SINGLE PILOTING HOUR since he left NERV ten years ago! It would be too dangerous to let him pilot."

"Can you do it, Shinji?" Gendo asked. "Are you positive that you can pilot?"

"Yes." Shinji said as he looked at him. "Dad, let me pilot it! Let me save my wife!"

"I object to this!" Misato yelled out.

"The more time we spend here debating this issue is the less time Asuka has. I was too late to save her last time. I won't let that happen again! Let me save my wife!" Shinji demanded

"Your objection is noted." Gendo said as he sat down. "Prepare EVA Unit 1 for launch."

Shinji took a deep breath as he looked at his father and smiled at him. "Thank you." He told him.

Gendo nodded his head and then sat down in his chair, putting both of his elbows on the desk, interlacing his fingers together under his nose and looking back at the screen.

Misato shook her head at Shinji and then crossed her arms, saying. "This is way too dangerous."

"My life is worth risking for her." Shinji told Misato. "I have to save my wife, Misato. Wouldn't you do the same for Kaji if he was still alive?"

Misato took a deep breath and held back tears in her eyes as she remembered the love that did not survive Third Impact.

"Walk with me, Misato." He told her.

Misato nodded her head and then followed Shinji out of the control room and down the hall to the elevator. There she inserted her private key into the elevator and the doors opened. Her and Shinji stepped inside and the doors closed.

"Here." He told her as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small object. "I've carried this with me my whole life. I've kept it in my pocket wherever I've gone and whatever I've done.. You gave this to me for strength." Taking her hand he placed the object in it and then covered it with his own hand. "Misato, I found my strength."

Misato nodded her head and looked back at him. She placed her hand on his cheek. "I guess I don't want to lose you so soon after finding you again."

"Misato, listen to me." Shinji said as he looked at her. "If Asuka and me can't come back, then you take care of my daughter and my son. Take care of my children and raise them well. Show them the love that you showed me. Show them how to be good people and live well."

"Shinji, you will come back." Misato told him as she looked at him with a tear in her eye.

He gently brushed the hair away from her face and told her in whisper. "Maybe, but I'm not afraid anymore."

The doors opened up and he went through, as the doors shut, Misato looked back at him and saw him smile at her. Then she realized what he was about to do and she looked at the cross in her hand and clutched it close to her chest while she thought. Shinji, you have to come back. You have to save her. Please, Shinji, come back for your children's sake and mine too.

Chapter 102

Shinji ran down the bridge towards EVA Unit 1. Then he stopped, as he looked at that giant mecha in front o f him.

As he stood in front of a device he once hated and despised, he suddenly felt something within him. This is what I need to do, what I have to do. Staring at his former EVA unit, he took a deep breath.

Then he said firmly to the unit.

"I'm here."

The Eva's eyes opened for the first time in ten years and then Shinji unzipped his leather jacket. He stepped into the Pilot Transfer tube and then braced himself as the computer voice came on.

"State transfer?"

"EVANGELION UNIT 1"

"Identification please?"

"Shinji Ikari."

"Accepted."

The door of the transfer tube shut and then Shinji was thrust into the bioplug of EVA Unit 1.

He found himself in the cockpit as he took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He picked up the headset and put it on

"Sync activated." The computer voice said.

The liquid came through the cockpit and he closed his eyes as it filled the area. He felt himself suddenly become attached to Unit 1. He could feel that the Unit was once again accepting him as its pilot.

As he opened his eyes, he said aloud. "With all of my strength, EVA, let's go save Asuka."

He felt the Unit's acceptance of the task he had asked of it and then found himself completely comfortable in the pilot seat of a device he swore he'd never operate again.

For ten years of his life, Shinji had not been in an EVA unit yet as he sat in Unit 1 he knew every single operation that he needed to conduct. It was like yesterday but now the purpose of using this Unit was for a far greater reason.

"Control, permission to launch." Shinji said into his headset.

Misato stepped into the control room area and then nodded her head as she called out "LAUNCH EVA!"

Chapter 103

The Eva unit traveled up through the gateway and then Shinji found himself above ground and he could see Asuka's EVA Unit 2-A being engulfed by the angel's ATV field.

Shinji took a deep breath as he made the EVA run towards Asuka and he forced himself between Asuka and the ATV field.

"LET HER GO, GODDAMNIT!" Shinji yelled out at the angel as he felt an overwhelming anger come through him.

Then Shinji roared out as loud as he could that echoed through his EVA as he made his arm come down and hit the angel dead on, sending it flying across the landscape

The attack released the ATV field on Asuka's EVA Unit 2-A and then Shinji spun around to her and watched as the giant mecha was about to fall. Quickly, he ran over to her and his EVA unit caught hers. He cradled it in his arms and then shouted out.

"ASUKA! ASUKA, TELL ME YOU'RE OKAY!"

The monitor came on and Shinji breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw a weak Asuka look back at him.

"Show off." Asuka said with a laugh as she looked back at him.

Shinji's heart nearly fell out of his chest as he looked at her. She was so weak and so tired. Blood trickled from her mouth and he could feel her pain.

"I'm gonna get you outta here." Shinji said nervously. "You just need to hang on, okay?"

Asuka looked back to him and then put her hand up on the monitor as she said. "You won't be able to in time."

"Control, I have secured Unit 2-A!" Shinji said into his headset through tears. "Eject the pilot NOW!"

"Negative response." Control said.

"Eject her!" Shinji yelled.

"We can't, Shinji." Misato said.

"Asuka, do manual override. Eject yourself from the cockpit." Shinji told her.

"I can't." Asuka said. "It's…. offline. EVA has no control. I have no control."

"I…I'll get you out." Shinji said. "I…. will…"

Shinji's face dropped as he watched her look back at him. He placed his hand on the monitor covering her own. She seemed so weak and in so much pain as she stared at him.

"There's…no time left."

"Don't say that to me!" He said as he felt a tear come out of his eye. "You can't do this to me, Asuka. I love you too much for you to go! Don't give up, Asuka! You're not allowed to die! Remember, it's the same for you as it is for me. The kids need you! I need you! You're everything to me. You're not allowed to die. Those are the rules! Remember the rules? You wouldn't let me die. Violating rule number two breaks rule number one. Where you go, I go. I can't let you die. I won't let you. You are not allowed to die on me! " He told her.

"Shinji, I'm sorry." Asuka said as she looked back at him. "I had to do this though. I had my duty. Honey, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said to her. "I love you with all that I am."

"Honey, I can die knowing that things will be all right."

"No, Asuka." He whispered to her as he cried.

Asuka smiled at him and then said gently. "Shinji, I'll always be with you. You're my heart, Shinji. You need to take care of our babies. They're going to need you now."

"No, Asuka." Shinji whispered tearfully. "You can't leave me yet. I can't do this without you. I have so much I want to say to you…. I have the rest of my life to spend with you. Asuka, no! I can't do this without you, Asuka."

"Yes you can." Asuka said. "Shinji, I am giving my strength to you. Your love was the best gift I ever received in my life. Our children mean everything to me. You can do this. You are not like Gendo, you are better then he was. Take care of our babies, love them and protect them. You've given me…. strength. Give that strength to our children. A part of me will always be with you. Always."

Shinji shook his head and felt a tear come out of his eye. "This isn't right." He said to her.

"Shinji, listen to me, you idiot." Asuka said with a smile as blood trickled from the corner of her mouth and a tear fell out of her eye. "Shinji, I am a better person because you loved me. You made my life whole. You fulfilled every dream I have ever had." Asuka breathed in and squeezed her eyes shut. "Listen to me, Shinji…I love you…with everything that I am…Shinji…." She said as her voice cracked as she lay back in the pilot seat, never taking her hand away from the monitor.

"Asuka…ASUKA!" Shinji yelled back as he watched her slump down into the pilot's seat and then he saw and felt the EVA Unit 2-A go limp in his hands as his wife's lifeless face stared back at him.

"ASUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He roared out as loud as he could as he felt his heart shatter and his grief run through his body. He sat the EVA Unit 2 down on the ground and then cried over Asuka's lifeless body on the monitor.

Chapter 104

In the control room, the officer behind the desk breathed out and bowed her head. She looked up at Misato and said sadly. "Life signs from Captain Ikari…. have ceased. Sync harmonics have dropped. We have control over Unit 2-A."

Misato bowed her head and tightened her fist. "Asuka." She said under her breath as tears fell..

Misato took a deep breath as she felt sadness hit her. A tear rolled out of her eye and Misato turned away, putting her hand over her eyes. "Recall Unit 1." Misato said. "Have Unit 2A recovered and pull Captain Ikari's body from it."

"Colonel," the officer said as she looked at the pilot. ", target is on the move. Direct heading towards Unit 1."

"Recall Unit 1 NOW!" Misato said as she turned around and walked over to the terminal.

"Colonel, Unit 1's sync ratio…is going higher. Harmonics are…harmonics are matching exactly to the pilot…80 100 200! Shinji is trying to take over Unit 1."

"Open communications to Unit 1." Misato said.

"Comm link open." The officer said.

"Shinji, this is a direct order. Abort and return to base. Do you hear me? Abort and return to base! Respond, Shinji!" Misato yelled.

There was no response.

"Shinji, do you hear me?" Misato asked. "Abort, this instant and return to base!"

There was no response.

Chapter 105

I was too late again. I've lost her forever. I was too late.

Shinji sat alone in the cockpit of Unit 1. His heart felt shattered. He could hear Misato yelling at him over the COM but he wouldn't respond. He just sat alone in the cockpit, staring at the monitor, staring at Asuka's lifeless face looking back at him. His pain was immeasurable and his tears ran down his face, he felt like he was dead inside and that all of his strength had left him in the second that he had watched her die.

He shut his eyes as he cried.

He wished they hadn't fought before she left to go to work. He would have done anything to hold her one last time or kiss her one last time.

He kept seeing images in his mind of when they were young, how they met. The first time he saw her on the ship with her long hair blowing in the wind, looking down at him, then upon meeting him smiling at him and then humiliating him.

He remembered when he woke up on the beach, after Third Impact, how he saw her lying next to him and how she came to be his companion, best friend, lover, wife and mother to his children.

He thought of when she was lying comatose in the hospital, and he stood over her, keeping vigil. He remembered about how he begged her to wake up, begged her to help him heal the pain in his heart.

Then he chuckled as he remembered their first kiss, the way she had pinched his nose because his breath had tickled her. He breathed in the day he kissed her for real without pinching his nose and remembered the feelings that went through him like an electric shock.

He let his tears fall as he remembered the night of the storm and his heart ached. He remembered their last night in the cave together and all the times they made love to one another.

He thought about when he was sick and almost dying how she took care of him and told him. "…. You want a reason to live? Here's a damned good one! I love you too."

He saw the way she looked the day Hope was born and how happy she was when Souke was born.

Her beauty captivated him as he recalled the day he married her and when he heard her say. "I am your wife. Now and forever."

As he cried, he felt his anger swell inside of him and his grief overwhelm him. He felt his blood boiling and his rage was more then he had ever known before. Slowly, he opened his eyes and could feel tears stream down his cheeks. He couldn't stop looking at her on the monitor and wished he had been there to hold her as she died.

He swore a long time ago if anyone or anything harmed his family, they would pay…. with their lives.

Shinji began to breathe heavily as he felt the tears come down his face. "Asuka?" he whispered.

Then he thought of what he had done. I let my strength go when I came back here. I became empty and alone. Asuka sensed it and she drifted away from me. I was unfaithful to my wife. I had an affair with Misato. Now…it all doesn't matter. She's gone. My life means nothing to me. Nothing.

Then he watched, as she seemed to slowly disappear. Her body was slowly dissipating and he breathed in with his eyes wide as he watched her disappear in front of him.

She was gone. No trace of her. The monitor went black.

He snapped his head back and bellowed. "NO! NOT ASUKA! NOT ASUKA! GIVE HER BACK TO ME! YOU CAN'T TAKE HER! NO! NO! DAMN YOU!"

Chapter 106

"Open the comm. To Unit 1." Misato said.

The officer nodded and then said. "Comm open."

"Shinji!" Misato said firmly. "Abort immediately. Do you hear me? Abort, Shinji. That is a direct order! Abort!"

"No." Shinji said flatly over the communications system.

"Shinji!" Misato yelled. "Shinji, respond! Respond! That is a direct order. Don't go against me, Shinji! Get back here! You can't help Asuka now! Get back here! ABORT!"

"I don't care." Shinji said over the comm. "It took Asuka from me…. it will pay."

"COLONEL, Unit 1 has disabled communications." The officer at the desk said.

"What the hell is he doing?" Misato asked.

"COLONEL! LOOK!" The officer yelled out as they watched on the screen.

Then she heard loud warning klaxons and she breathed in as she raised her head. 'OH MY GOD, UNIT IS BERSERK!"

"General, Unit 1's sync ration has…. gone to 400…..400 PERCENT?."

"That's not possible." Misato told her. "Recheck it."

"I have. " The officer said, "Shinji has taken over Unit 1. We have no control. He's completely in control of Unit 1."

"Damnit!" Misato growled.

Chapter 107

On the outside, the EVA threw its head back and roared loudly, and then energy began to exude from it. Large strobes of energy surrounded the giant mecha, they were blue and red in color and they surrounded Unit 1.

Unit 1's eyes began to glow red and then Shinji was in complete control as he raised his head and felt power go through him like he never experienced. He breathed in slowly and deeply with his rage and grief fueling him.

He knew what he had to do.

"I'm going to destroy you." Shinji said as he breathed heavily, staring at the object in front of him.

Shinji bowed his head and his fist tightened and shook. As Shinji looked up, his eyes fueled with a murderous hatred as he stared at the angel.

Shinji felt the tears roll down his face and then he roared out in grief as he spun around and saw the angel directly in front of him. He charged right at the giant object. He hit it with everything he had dead on.

He then exuded his ATV field and shot it directly at the angel watching as it shook in his ATV field suspended in mid air.

"You messed with the wrong guy." Shinji said. "You took my wife. You're going down."

Then he heard a voice in his head.

"Shinji Ikari. Release your field."

"NEVER! I AM GOING TO DESTROY THIS THING FOR WHAT IT DID TO ASUKA!"

"Shinji Ikari." The voice said again gently. "You need to release your field."

"NO!" he said. "I AM GOING TO Destroy IT! IT TOOK MY WIFE! IT'S GOING TO DIE!"

"Shinji Ikari, please release your field or you'll leave us no other choice."

"Go to hell!" Shinji barked.

The angel unleashed a ray that went right through him. He yelled out in pain as he looked at the target and his face went into rage.

"Go ahead. You've taken everything from me!" He told the target. "Kill me! Go ahead and kill me! KILL ME JUST LIKE YOU KILLED ASUKA!"

Then with all of the strength he had he unleashed a stronger ATV field and directed it at the angel with a murderous look in his eyes. "I'll take you with me." Shinji said with rage.

A strong beam exuded from the angel. Shinji's eyes went wide as he saw it.

In an instance, he saw nothing…just white.

Chapter 108

"SHINJI!" Misato yelled as she ran up to the monitor with her face twisting in pain. "SHINJI, NO!"

In the control room the officer breathed in again as she said. "Unit 1's life signs have been terminated."

"T…terminated?" Misato asked.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Gendo asked as he stood up from the desk and looked down. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN TERMINATED?"

"Sir, there are no life readings." The officer said as she bowed her head. "There's no bioreadings of any type inside of Unit 1."

"No." Misato breathed out. Then she turned around and put her hand over her eyes as she fell to her knees. "First Asuka and now Shinji?"

Gendo Ikari turned away from the monitor as he closed his eyes, his fist tightened. Then he said firmly. "What's the status of the target?"

"It's gone, Governor.." The officer said. "Shinji destroyed it."

Gendo turned back to the officer and nodded his head. "I see."

Chapter 109

Shinji's sight became clearer as he began to notice he was standing in the center of a white void.

He looked around and became nervous. He was on solid ground yet he could only see white. He turned and looked around, confused by where he was.

"What have you done with me?" Shinji yelled out. "Where am I?"

Shinji ran forward only to find that there seemed to be no exit to where he was and he wondered if he was alive or dead. Then he called out. "Asuka, are you here? Asuka?"

"Shinji Ikari." A voice said.

Shinji spun around and then answered. "Yes."

"You are safe."

"Am I alive?" Shinji asked.

"Yes." The voice said.

"Is Asuka here too?" he asked as he looked around.

"Yes." The voice said.

"Are you…. one of them?" he asked.

"Yes." The voice said again.

"Why did you kill her?" Shinji asked tearfully. "Why did you take her from me?"

There was no response as Shinji waited for an answer.

"Answer me damnit!"

"Is that answer to the question you desire?" his voice answered back.

Shinji breathed in as his fist tightened. "Stop playing your fucking mind games!" he told them. "Answer me now! Why did you kill my wife?"

"Kill. …Your…. wife?" A familiar voice answered.

Shinji spun around and then someone coming into view. He saw that it was a woman and then he breathed in and stepped back as he saw her. She was coming closer. She still looked the same and she still sounded the same. "

"Was that the one whom you chose?"

She came closer to him and then smiled at him.

"Ikari."

Chapter 110

Misato sat in her office at her desk, the door was locked and she was hunched over the desk crying onto her arms with her head bowed.

How could this have happened? How? Why?

She continued to cry as she thought about how she would explain this to Hope. Hope was barely six now and to tell a five year old that both of her parents were dead, how could she?

Take care of my children and show them how to be good people.

I'm a terrible person…. I hurt Asuka…I killed Kauro. I deserve to die!

I'll pilot Eva. It's the only thing I can do.

Misato! MISATO!……….NO,

I was a boy back then and I'm not that boy anymore, Misato.

I'm not afraid anymore.

Misato raised her head and breathed in deeply, she leaned back in her chair as she looked at the picture on her desk. It was she, Shinji, Asuka, Kaji, Ritzko, Touji, Kensuke and Rei all gathered together ten years ago. Before Third Impact, before Asuka had gone into a coma.

Those were difficult times but at least for the most part good times.

Now though, this day marked the saddest day of her entire life.

Chapter 111

"Ayanami." Shinji gasped as he looked at her. She was wearing the school uniform that she and Asuka used to wear. She was still pale, her hair was still a light blue and it looked like time had stayed still for her only one thing was different, her eyes were blue.

"Answer me, Ikari. Was that the one you chose?" she asked.

"Yes." Shinji told her. "She was. Why did you kill her?"

"Kill her?" Ayanami asked.

"You killed her!" Shinji said tearfully.

"No." Ayanami answered.

"NO?" Shinji growled out. "I saw her die! You killed her!"

"No, you saw her leave her current existence." Ayanami said.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked in a confused voice. "I watched her die."

"She can be returned if that is what you wish."

"What the hell is this about?" Shinji asked. "Why have the angels returned to Earth?"

Ayanami laughed as she looked at him. "That is a silly question, Ikari. You know the answer."

"Why is it a silly question, Rei?" Shinji asked.

"Do you realize we gave you the ability to decide the course of the human race?"

"What?" Shinji asked.

"We asked you to choose the one who would be with you. You chose the Second Child. We asked you to choose the path you desired. You chose EVA. We asked you to choose the one who will cause the world to be put into balance and you chose that one too."

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.

Then he saw an image in front of him. "Hope." He breathed out. She was laughing and smiling and she looked at him and rose up her arms. Shinji gasped. "HOPE!" he yelled out as he ran to her. Then he watched as she was picked up by him and spun around happily with them laughing.

"This is from your memory. That is the one that has put the world into order and will continue to put the world in order."

"What was the point of going into my mind and showing THIS memory?"

"Because it's interesting how the bond between a man and a woman is and how because of it, a hope is formed between the two of them. That's what you and Asuka were meant to do. You formed a bond and the hope of the world was formed."

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked.

"This child." Rei said as she pointed to a happy, smiling Hope. "The Hope of the world. When you bought her into this world you chose life and because of that life continued. She will continue to be the Hope of the world.."

Shinji's breathing became quickened. "How do you suppose that will happen?" he asked Rei.

"She has great power and great strength. It is this power and strength that will save mankind from extermination."

"I don't understand, Rei!" Shinji yelled out. "Why did you kill Asuka? Why her?"

"We did not kill Asuka, Shinji." A man's voice answered.

Shinji turned around again and his eyes widened. There he stood, the tall lanky guy with the smirk and the ponytail, he looked the same as the last time that he had seen him. He was dressed in a blue button down shirt with his black tie and black pants. His face still needed a shave and he still had that smile. Shinji knew who it was in an instant.

"Kaji?"

The man smiled at him and nodded. "Hello Shinji." He walked forward and nodded his head as he looked at him.

"Kaji…. how are you a part of this?"

"I am not…Kaji…as you knew him. I am the memory of Kaji as you recall him. It's confusing, isn't it? You see, you identified with this person in your life so therefore, I am a representation of that person to speak to you so you can be at ease."

"Uh…"

"Can't say I understand it much myself." Kaji said with a grin.

"What about Asuka?"

"Your wife isn't dead, Shinji. We're not that cruel."

"Kaji, I saw her die! I saw her die! Why did you take her from me? Kaji! Answer me that much!"

Kaji smirked and then nodded his head. "There's a great many things you don't understand yet. First of all, Asuka is not dead, as you would conceive it. What you saw was her life-force going into another existence and we had to do it otherwise, she would have died."

Suddenly there was a flash and then Shinji saw her. "ASUKA!" He yelled out as he went forward. Asuka was floating suspended in the air, she was unconscious and unharmed and then he looked back at Kaji. Shinji went to grab her and then was pushed back by some kind of field that surrounded her. He tried to get to her again and again was knocked back on his rear.

"Free her immediately!" Shinji growled as he stood up.

"Its amazing the love he shares for her. I always knew there was a great love in you, Shinji but I had no idea it was for that loud mouthed redhead."

Shinji turned around again and then he saw him. "Kaoru?" Shinji said as he looked at him.

Kaoru nodded and stepped forward. He wore a white shirt and jeans like he used to and he looked exactly the same. "I have to say I am impressed with you. You've developed such strength." Kaoru said with a smile. "At least you aren't' like that any longer." Kaoru said as he pointed his finger to an image that made Shinji angry. "You remember that person don't you? The way you used to be, unsure of yourself, alone, living in self-despair, a borderline sociopath. Look at you now though, confident, strong, and finally now a man."

Shinji looked at the image. It was he at fourteen, the way he used to be. He looked back to Kaoru and took a deep breath. "I remember him all too well. I'm not that boy anymore. I have no problem with killing you for trying to kill me or my wife." Shinji stepped forward and looked into his eyes. "I want answers now! I want to know why have the angels returned to Earth! I want to know why you did that to Asuka!"

"You honestly do love her, don't you? There are a great mysteries to life, Shinji…"

Then Shinji's hand wrapped around Kaoru's throat and he yelled out as loud as he could. "Shut the fuck up and tell me!" Then he threw Kaoru down on the ground and snapped his head around to Rei whose mouth hung open. "Answer me! Why have the angels returned to Earth? What is this about my daughter? TELL ME DAMNIT!"

"Okay." Kaji said as he stepped forward. "Okay, calm down."

"You back up!" Shinji said as he walked up to him. "I'll knock the shit out of you. Angel or no angel I'll bring this whole place down! You tell me now! What the fuck is going on, Kaji?"

Kaji breathed in as he said. "You want the truth, here it is. Plain and simple with no sugar coating, you and Asuka inherited the Earth after Third Impact. You were asked choose the one for the hope, you chose Asuka. You and Asuka created the hope of the world. When you choose to create life, you brought life back to Earth. Since she was the one who is chosen, she will be the one to save the Earth. Man is looking to be selfish again and there are plans in the works that will eventually lead to the destruction of Earth. Man doesn't realize it right now but eventually through his stupidity, Earth will be destroyed and it will be worse then Third Impact was."

Shinji took a deep breath and then looked back at Kaji angrily. "What does it have to do with me?"

"Shinji, there was a reason why you and Asuka survived Third Impact. We always knew that you and her had tremendous power and it was this power that allowed the both of you to sync with the EVAs so well. It was also because between you both was love and it was there from the beginning. You both survived Third Impact to bring about change. Shinji, when you decided to come back to Earth and were asked to choose the one for the hope, you asked for Asuka. With Asuka you created a hope for this world. That's why you're here now. That's why we're here now. Asuka's determination and fire and your power and strength are what has created the new hope for this world."

"Why did you attack, Asuka?" Shinji asked. "Why?"

"We're sorry about that." Kaji said. "Asuka went on the defensive. If we hadn't stopped her, she would have destroyed us. We hate to say this but we had to use Asuka to get to you."

"Why?" Shinji asked. "Why did you use her? Why couldn't you have just contacted me some how?"

"Because there was no other way. We knew that Asuka's desire to be a pilot again was strong and we used to our advantage. We thought that if we put Asuka's life in danger it would bring you back to the EVA. The only way was through EVA. EVA is like an angel; therefore communication could exist between the two. With you in the EVA, we could communicate to you and bring you here. Our purpose is not malicious. The prior angel attacks were not meant to be what they were. It was defense. It was not aggression. Man attacked us first. We tried to co-exist and we couldn't. The angels then tried to stop man from creating the end of the earth. Now the reason we have returned is to ensure mankind's survival. When you chose Asuka you all ready were set to deliver the hope of the world. You did that. Shinji, you have been looked after. Everything that you and Asuka have been through, we have been protecting you. You were guided in some aspects to find safety when you needed it. Now, Shinji, you and Asuka need to be given a message. It is this message that will carry your daughter to fulfill her destiny. Actually, all of your children figure prominently. You and Asuka will carry this message. You will deliver it to your daughter throughout the course of her life."

"Why are you messing with my family?" Shinji asked angrily. "Why can't you leave us alone? Why is my daughter so important to you?"

"Ikari." Rei said as she approached. "You're daughter is key."

"Key?" Shinji asked.

"What is your daughter's birthday?" Kaji asked.

Shinji thought for a second and then his eyes widened as he looked back to Kaji.

"That's right. You're daughter was born on the fourth anniversary of Third Impact. Did you realize that?"

"No." Shinji said. "Why is that so special?"

"Misato told you that there were four years missing from her life, correct?" Kaji asked.

Shinji's eyes widened as he suddenly realized what Kaji was saying. "Yes."

"When you chose to create life with Asuka, that life bought the lives of those who wish to return back to Earth. Remember when Third Impact occurred and you asked if others could come back? They had to choose to come back. However, you had to be the instrument to carry that out in Instrumentality. You and Asuka needed to create a hope, a life, in order to bring life back to Earth." Kaji said with a smile. "What is your daughter's name? Hope. Why do you think you named her that?" Kaji asked.

"Hope for the future?" Shinji said as he looked back to Kaji.

"That's right. Hope for the future. Hope for mankind. Hope of the world. Did you ever wonder why you named her that? For every action, there is an opposite and greater reaction. Every thing you have done is for specific reasons. The storm. The time you found shelter in the cave of the mountain. When you fought the bobcat because Asuka's life was in danger. When you found the perfect house in the perfect setting with everything you needed to build a life, all of it was preordained to you. All of it was given to you to guide you. Now though with mankind returning to Earth, mankind's arrogance is getting out of control again and the Hope will bring balance to this world."

"I don't understand why I'm here."

"Because if you didn't come here, you wouldn't be able to receive the message and it is the message you will deliver to your daughter over the course of her life. This message though will help her to balance the world and make whole the mistakes of the past."

"So," Shinji said as he put his hands in his jacket. ", You lured me here? You used my wife to get to me so you could have me deliver a message?"

"That's right." Kaoru said.

"What about Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"She will be returned to you unharmed as before." Rei said as she looked over at Asuka. Rei's eyes flashed and a light appeared.

Shinji took a deep breath as the field surrounding Asuka burst. She took a deep breath and then fell to the floor. His eyes widened and he ran over to her. He knelt down beside her and turned her over. She opened her eyes and then gently reached up and touched his cheek saying. "Oh, I feel sick."

He chuckled at her as tears ran out of his eyes. "Asuka." He said gently as he sniffled and brushed the hair from her face.

"Shinji am I…. alive?" Asuka said with a smile.

He smiled at her and crushed her close to him, as he closed his eyes. He opened them slowly and looked back into her face. Then he looked back at Rei, Kaji and Kaoru who all stood together. He looked back at Asuka and smiled as a tear rolled out of his eye. "I thought you were gone." He told her tearfully as he held her.

"I couldn't leave you yet. Someone has to be around to nag you, you idiot." Asuka told him with a smile as she lightly touched his cheek with her palm.

Shinji chuckled and held her closer and kissed her lips gently as he looked back to her. "I love it when you call me an idiot. Oh God, Asuka, I love you. I love you with all my heart. Never do that to me again, okay?"

"You can't get rid of me that easily." Asuka told him. "I love you too damned much for that. As for what you said earlier, I'm going to beat your ass later."

"Do anything you want." Shinji said with a smirk. "As long as you here, I couldn't be happier."

"I love you, Shinji." Asuka said gently as he held her and kissed her lips.

Kaji shook his head and smirked as he watched them. "Uh, I hate to interrupt you two but um…. we have some business that needs to be accomplished."

Shinji smiled as he looked back at Asuka. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah." Asuka said as he helped her to her feet.

Asuka looked around at the three and then walked forward as she saw Rei. She nodded at her and then looked at Kaoru and then saw Kaji who walked forward as he smiled at her.

"Hello Asuka." He said to her.

"Kaji?." Asuka said back as she smiled at him. "Kaji…wow."

"You've done well for yourself I see." He told her with a smile.

"I think so." She said with a smile.

Kaoru stepped forward and told them both. "Now, you both will receive the message that you will pass on."

Shinji and Asuka blinked their eyes as blinding light shot at them. It came at them fast. Images. Many different images came to them all at once. There were too many to make sense of but somehow they both knew that there was sense to it all.

After the light had passed, Shinji and Asuka stood beside one another and looked back at the three who looked on at them with smiles on their faces.

"You have been given the message to pass onto to your daughter." Kaoru told them.

"How we will know what to say?" Shinji asked.

"You will not know." Kaji told them. "It will come out during the course of her life. The message is not necessarily in words but also in emotion, in actions. You will see the end result of it, this I assure you. Because of this, your daughter, the hope for the world, will be able to change the course of the earth and save mankind from extermination."

"Is that why you're here?" Asuka asked.

"Yes." Kaoru said. "You and Shinji were asked to save the Earth the first time. You and Shinji were also asked to produce the one who would protect it. You did that. Now Hope's responsibility is to save mankind from itself and she will be successful."

"I still don't really understand." Shinji told them.

"There isn't much to understand." Kaji said. "The only thing you need to think about is raising your family. Everything will come to you, as it should. Everything you need to show your child has been given to you along with the instructions. You may not be aware of it but you will see for yourself when the time is right."

Then an image appeared and a tall young slender woman wearing a uniform, similar to Asuka's, stood. Her hair was cut short but it was red and her eyes were a gentle blue and then as Shinji and Asuka looked at her, they realized who they were looking at.

"That's our daughter, Asuka." Shinji said as he looked at her. "That's what Hope is going to be."

Asuka breathed in and smiled as he she saw the image. She clutched Shinji's hand and looked at the three in front of her. She smiled proudly when she saw the image of her daughter. "That's why we always said she was our hope for the future. She is going to be just that." Asuka said.

Then the image shifted and another image of a young man stood. He looked very much like Shinji. He was tall, broad, and strong and then Asuka said. "That's Souke. Shinji, that's our son."

Shinji breathed in as he watched the images of his children and then they disappeared.

"So, my children will save the world?" he asked.

"In a matter of speaking." Kaji said. "They may not know it until the time is right but they will be important to the survival of mankind."

"Oh, they'll be much more then that." Kaoru said. "But that is a long time from now. We are sorry for the way in which we had to get you here but rest assured, we've come with only peace and hope in our hearts. You will not remember any of these experiences here. We will leave now and we will not return for a very very long time. When we arrive the Hope of the world will welcome us and together we will give mankind the good future it deserves to have. Now you go back and live the life you deserve. Live and love. That is what I want you to do."

"Your Hope is our hope." Rei said to them. "Your lives are now your own."

Then there was a blinding flash of light. Shinji pulled Asuka close to him, shielding her with his body, holding her against him and shut his eyes as the light engulfed them both.

Chapter 113

The light subsided…next they both saw a long corridor…

Where are we? I don't know

The slender, athletic woman with bright red hair and soft brown eyes walked through the corridors. She had on a red and gray uniform and on her head was a small cap. In her right hand was a small metallic attaché case and in her left was a small plasma pad.

Who is that? Is that Hope?

Is this the future?

Are we a part of it?

She walked up to the desk at the end of the long corridor and then handed the man behind it the display.

He checked it and then said. "This way, Major." He wore a uniform similar to her own and he got up from his chair and walked with her down another long corridor. The door slid open and she walked inside.

Asuka, that is her!

She looked around the large room and then proceeded to a turbo lift where she stepped inside. A computer voice came on and said.

"State current destination?"

"Evangelion Unit 1."

Unit 1?

She's an EVA pilot…. like we were.

"Identity please confirm?"

"Major Hope Ikari." She responded.

"Accepted."

What's happening, Asuka?

I'm not sure.

The turbo lift rose up to the large purple mecha that came into her view. She stepped out of the turbo lift walked up to the giant and then said firmly. "I'm here."

The Unit opened its eyes. Hope took a deep breath and said. "For the hope of the world, Eva, with all of my strength."

ASUKA…. WHERE ARE YOU? ASUKA? ASUKA!

Then there was nothing…just white.

Chapter 114

"ASUKA!"

When Shinji opened his eyes, they were outside, sitting on the grass. She was in his arms and as she looked back to him, he kissed her with tears in his eyes. He held her close to him and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh my God I almost lost you." He said to her as he held her. "Are you okay?" He asked her.

Asuka nodded her head and then said.. "Yeah. What the hell was that?"

Shinji looked at her and said. "I don't know. I just know…someone saying…..hope of the world."

"I know." Asuka said to him. "There was white and then…hope of the world…. with all of my strength? Did you understand it?"

"No." he said. "Do you remember any more of it? Was there anything?"

"No, just white." She said. "Was…. I…. dead?"

"I thought you were…" He said to her as he brushed the hair from her face.

"Shinji…" Asuka said as she looked back at him.

Asuka looked back and saw Unit 2 lying on the ground with Unit 1 hunched over it. She looked back into his face and smiled at him as he put his forehead against her own but as he looked at her and then looked back at Unit 1, Shinji breathed in as he made a decision.

I love you, Asuka. I love you too much to ever let this happen again. Forgive me for what I have decided to do.

( This chapter has been edited for this website. After Impact Uncut will be available on author's website.)

Author's Note:

Two things I should tell you about Chapter IX: Duty & Honor. First up, the affair scene was edited six times. Originally, after the fight with Asuka…Shinji follows her to the Control Room and watches as the Angel beats her up and then decides to go into Unit 1 to save the day which is then followed by the whole meeting of Rei/kaji/Kawro sequence inside "the white void." The Misato-Affair was thought of six months ago and then taken out, re-edited, taken out,re-edited, and then finally re-done prior to finishing the book. The final idea for the bar sequence came while I was watching, of all things, the movie Shall We Dance? Strange huh? Reasoning: the scene where Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere are doing the Latin dance in the studio. That is a very sultry scene and here's from one who knows: a good dance move is very important when romancing. By accident, Al Green's Let's Stay Together comes on the radio afterwards and bam! Got the idea to do a dance sequence in the bar. What did you think? A bit of a shocker huh?

Second: I thought of dividing Duty & Honor into two parts and cutting it right after Shinji has his "reaffirmation" of his life and then letting the rest unfold in the upcoming Part X: Where You Go…. But I figured you've had enough cliffhangers lately.

Many thanks to everyone who has read this story and posted a review. I am very grateful to you for your comments and I am so pleased that you loved the story. I hope that Part IX-Duty & Honor has lived up to your expectations…. now for the conclusion of After Impact Part X: Where You Go...)