This story will probably last a little longer than what I expected. I was just beginning to feel it was starting to drag on. I definitely did not want that. I am sorry for the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter, but it was fun to write it out that way. Oh yeah, Helga has never met Dr. Bliss in this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold!. The poem is mine.
Thanks to all those who have reviewed:
J.T.- I can't help it. :) I just love to show my gratitude. Trust me, I do understand where you're coming from. And trust me, I am not easily embarrassed so you can keep going. LOL. I know that 99% of my readers will understand my writing, I just get concerned about that 1%. I am glad you liked the cliffhanger. :) If it all plays out right this story will not be ending too soon. I do kind of have a surprise when I'm finished with this story. I don't know about masterpieces, but I will definitely be moving on to greater things after this story. I am so happy you'll be there to read and review them. Thank you so much. That was so nice. :)
Estel fuga- That was what I thought, but I wasn't sure. But I do agree they all needed to talk. Why can't you trust Lila? I was trying to make her a good character in this story, but I could change my mind before it's all over. But I loved those moments between Helga and Lila in the bathroom. You could or could not be right on Helga and Arnold. I just don't know yet. Don't worry this chapter is not transition. Thanks for noticing my work involving the characters and their reactions. Hugs back to you and you're also going to need to take care of your hands, your mind, and spirit to finish that story of yours. It's coming along great. :)
RuffMaster- LOL. You're doing pretty well with your story, too. I'm glad you liked this chapter and the cliffy(yep, that's what I call it, lol). Helga's is an odd character like that. She'll tell other people about her secret, but she won't tell the one character where that secret matters the most. I am so happy you like this fic and thank you for reviewing.
PopStarOE- Sometimes I wonder if Helga will ever be herself. LOL. I'm not really having writer's block. I just have two things I'm worried about. One- is this story beginning to drag on and two- I don't know how I want this story to end. That's funny about your OIW story. When are you going to put the sequel out? I can't wait. Thanks for reviewing and I'm glad you enjoy my writing.
Tinánia Legolinde- I'm so happy you loved it. Did you think it was one of my best chapters? I thought it was one of the most interesting. You'll just have to find someway to make it up to me. LOL. No you don't because I'm over it. All I saw were the previews for Oprah, but from the previews he looked pretty good. I was still in school so I missed it. Don't cry, I'm sure there will be a rerun of it. I don't know about LOTR fiction. When I watch the movies their hard for me to understand, so, my stories would probably just confuse everybody. :) That's too bad that you won't have summer vacation, but didn't you say you were on your last year of school? I haven't seen Peter Pan yet, but it's coming out on video so I'll probably rent it. I think you need to choose between Jeremy, Legolas, or Orlando.LoL. Or not, because I'm the same way. Yep, b/c I have a couple men in my life. :) Okay, I got to go, but I hope you like this chapter. Love ya.
Chapter 13: Secrets Amidst
Portraying aghast, Helga fell hard to the floor. How can this be so? All this time she had conjectured that Arnold could never love her. All this time she had assumed she had only partaken in some while scheme for Arnold's devotion, but now she saw that it concluded possible that he could return her passionate love.
Overwhelming amounts of pleasure sifted through Helga's body. The sensations rounding through her were of pure ecstasy. No longer could her legs remain still as she jumped from her fetal position on the floor. They would carry her to Arnold. Nor would they cease until she had reached him. Helga had to tell him of her love. She needed to see his handsome face; she needed to hear the truth confirmed from his desirable lips.
Taking measured steps, Helga entered the hallway, but paused. Abruptly, doubts began to obstruct her mind. What if Lila lied to me? Maybe she was trying to get back at me for hugging him. I never did trust her. Why should I now? I'd be a moron if I ran after Arnold. If he loves me, he needs to come to me. Helga allowed the discomforting thoughts to paralyze her movements. No longer did her legs plead to advance, instead they cemented themselves to the linoleum. For the next moment, Helga remained in the empty space awaiting some sort of sign from the heavens to command her to go, but none prevailed.
Looking down, Helga observed the blue pass crumpled in her hand. Now, she praised the principal for entrusting her with it. She lacked someone who she could talk to and who would not pass judgment on her. Accrediting that this attested as a sign for her to leave, Helga pushed her numb legs forward towards the counselor's office.
"So Brainy, what is all this about you and Helga?" Sitting on top of her unsteady desk, Rhonda faced Brainy. With nothing else to execute, Ms. Lockhill subjected the students to free time. Other people who had heard Rhonda's query focused their attention to Brainy.
With a quaint shrug for his answer, Brainy began playing with his pencil's eraser.
"Oh, come now. Something is obviously going on. Why else would Helga tear up your note?" Rhonda argued, attempting to persuade him. More people grew interested in the discussion as they permitted themselves to surround Brainy's desk.
"I…don't…know," Brainy answered, wheezing slightly.
"I don't appreciate being lied to, Brainy," Rhonda's voice escalated to a loud pitch. Soon, every student in the classroom anticipated Brainy's reaction.
"I'm…not."
"Why was she crying this morning?" Sheena inquired as she stepped beside Brainy's desk.
"I…don't…know." Pleadingly, Brainy turned his small eyes to the clock and prayed for the bell to sound.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" Rhonda cried.
"Isn't she your girlfriend?" Sheena asked.
Brainy did not know the answer. This…morning…she was. Saying yes would be a lie to his humanity. Saying no would induce the realization he had denied to hit him all at once. He refused to tell the truth. That would cause everything around him only to become worse. With no other reply, Brainy refrained from any words.
"Oh my gosh! This is so big! I can't believe it!" Rhonda exclaimed at Brainy's silence, "I have got to tell Nadine!" Hopping from her desk, Rhonda walked to the front of the room.
Hushed whispers gravitated through the crowd that still surrounded Brainy's desk.
"Willikers, Brainy, I sure am sorry. But, gee, what the heck happened?" Stinky stepped from the mass of persons.
Shaking his head, Brainy grabbed his books and took quick paces to the door. Again, murmurs vibrated carelessly around the classroom, but no body came forward to speak with Brainy.
Brainy begged for the bell to ring. He wanted this day to end. So much trauma demoralized his spirit. Not even afternoon and already he felt exhaustion sweep through him. Never had he experienced exhaustion like this, though. Utter vacuity congested it allowing no reason to be named. Brainy needed this emptiness to be filled, but only Helga could fill it. He had to talk to her. She had not yet answered his question.
Bring! As the appreciated bell sounded, Brainy treaded into the compacted hallways to his second period classroom. Sometime later, maybe not today, he would speak with Helga. I'll…go…to…her…house. She'll…have to…talk to…me then.
"Hello Helga," Dr. Bliss greeted from a chair that sat lazily beside an oversized couch.
"How did you know my name?" Helga asked as she closed the door behind her. Cautiously, she took a few steps into the darkly lit room. Only one window occupied the space, but a burgundy curtain prevented light from radiating in. Grey walls caused the room to appear even darker. A shiver collapsed through Helga's spine as apprehensive feelings submerged her body as her eyes grazed across the walls where certificates were scattered showing the achievement of their owner.
"Principal Jonesbury called me after you left his office," Dr. Bliss answered, "Come. Sit on the couch. Make yourself comfortable." She patted the sofa next to her in a friendly manner.
"Just because you know my name doesn't mean you can act all friendly. I'm fine standing right here." Helga leaned against the wall abandoning her backpack to the carpeted floor.
"However you feel more comfortable." Adjusting her clipboard to sit on her lap, Dr. Bliss began to scribble a few words before placing her pen behind her ear.
Helga refused to answer; instead she stiffened her back against the straight surface of the wall even more.
"So, how is your day going?" Dr. Bliss questioned, wanting to end the tense silence.
"Obviously not well if I'm here," Helga retorted, folding her arms across her chest.
"Now Helga, you're not in here for punishment. I'm here to help you."
"Crimeny! I don't need help!" Helga yelled, rotating her back to Dr. Bliss.
"Then, why are you yelling?" Again, Dr. Bliss pressed her pen to the clipboard and began writing.
"I'm not!"
"Okay." Dr. Bliss set her pen down.
"You don't believe me."
"I didn't say that."
Peering at the young woman, Helga observed her for the first time. On her face a serene expression seemed permanently planted allowing her aerial features to be highlighted. But by far, her best feature was her eyes. Behind their hazel glass, Helga could lose herself in their complexity. There was clearly much more behind Dr. Bliss's calm expression that would never be revealed to any one possessing human nature. A halcyon feeling passed over Helga causing her body to relax. Maybe I will sit down.
"I'll sit if I can have your chair," Helga informed as she eyed Dr. Bliss's leather seat.
"Where would you like me to sit?" Dr. Bliss asked.
Helga shifted her glare to the sofa beside Dr. Bliss.
"Okay," Dr. Bliss obliged, transferring her weight leisurely to the sofa.
"And can I have that clipboard?" Promptly, Dr. Bliss handed it to Helga. Grasping the clipboard, Helga settled into the chair.
"Is this better?" Dr. Bliss questioned as she lowered her body on to the comfortable molding of the couch.
"Yep," Helga responded, dropping the clipboard to the floor and then she cast her eyes on it inquisitively, "What kind of stuff do you write on that thing anyway?"
"Oh, all kinds of things. Mostly, I use it to write my suggestions on my patients' behaviors," Dr. Bliss answered smoothly.
"Do you like to write?"
"I love to. It helps a lot with letting out emotions I'm feeling." Shifting her body slightly, Dr. Bliss looked towards Helga.
"Really?" Allowing her shield to disperse, Helga discovered herself more involved in the conversation. Maybe this won't be too bad.
"Oh yes. What about you?"
"What about me what?"
"Do you like too write?"
Much like a young child, Helga squirmed uneasily in her seat and then mumbled, "I don't know. I guess sometimes."
"What do you like to write about?" Steadily, Dr. Bliss hoisted herself to a sitting position, resting her arms behind her.
"You can't tell anyone about this, can you?" Helga asked cautiously, turning from the woman's intent gaze.
"Under federal law I can't and I won't." Observing Helga's right eyebrow raise, she continued, "Anything you tell me does not leave this room or my mouth."
Helga erected her body from the chair and took several paces to the window. Staring intensely at the sable clouds, a question arose in her mind. Should I tell her? Quickly, she looked back at Dr. Bliss's tranquil expression and then returned her powerful gaze outside. Rain began to spatter on the window. Helga sighed. Capturing the truth from her was not supposed to prove so easy. More of fight should have taken place for the inner aspects of her mind. Breathing deeply, Helga turned to confront the seated woman.
"Don't think you're so great because you got this out of me."
"Of course not." Shaking her head, strands of Dr. Bliss's dark hair scattered around her oval face.
"Because I just want you to shut your trap so you won't bother me anymore," Helga explained, lowering to sit on the window sill.
"That's fine with me, Helga. I'm here to listen."
"Sure, yeah, okay. Do you want to know?"
"Yes, go ahead."
"I write about everything, but mostly about people," Helga slowed, "People I really care about."
"How do you feel when you write?" Dr. Bliss crossed her legs.
"Angry, sad, sometimes ecstatic," Helga answered.
"Have you written recently?"
"I've written a lot of junk lately," Helga told her as she moved from the window sill to her backpack. Unhurried, she seized her pink journal and escorted it to Dr. Bliss, "Turn it to the last page."
Printed across her face, Dr. Bliss divulged calmness. But inside her mind startled emotions surfaced. When Helga first presented herself, Dr. Bliss had not expected the blonde to expose herself so mercilessly. Gradually, she opened the journal to the final page and read the words.
My heart is severed two ways
I'm finding it hard to say
Who I love and who I spite
Because even though it does not appear to the outward looking in
Both are so much alike
One I love deeply, but he does not know
The other loves me, but I feel as if I am in tow
Who do I choose
I can't say
Because my heart is severed two ways
Disregarded moments elapsed before Dr. Bliss shut the journal softly.
"That was quite good Helga," she said tracing her fingers along the binds slowly, "Have you been dealing with a lot of emotions lately?"
"More than you could ever know," Helga walked towards the black couch, "Can I lie down? You can have the chair."
"Whatever you want Helga." Dr. Bliss stood quickly and moved to the chair.
Weakness invaded Helga as she lowered her body to the cold leather. It confirmed she proved too weak to defend her emotions any longer. She felt forced to tell someone. Fortunate for Dr. Bliss she was there to heed the entire revelation.
Resting her hand to her chin, Dr. Bliss waited patiently for Helga's voice to speak to her. She would not force her to confide anything; it had to come naturally from Helga's lips.
"I don't know what to do," Helga spoke softly, her voice barely audible.
"You don't know what to do about what Helga?" Dr. Bliss turned her head to hear Helga more efficiently.
"Everything," Helga said flatly. This time loudness sounded from her voice as she stared to the ceiling, her expression like stone.
"Anything in pacific?"
"If I tell you you're going to think I'm too young," Helga focused her eyes to Dr. Bliss's still silhouette.
"Helga, I'm not here to judge. I'm here to listen."
Exhaling, Helga felt exasperated, but she unwound her story of Brainy and Arnold to Dr. Bliss. At the more difficult parts, she paused to allow tears to roll from her eyes, but she persevered until she finished.
"It sounds as if you have quite a hard situation, but if you truly love Arnold you couldn't continue to be Brainy's girlfriend," Dr. Bliss spoke placidly. Encouragement sifted into her eyes as she relaxed in her chair.
"So you don't think I'm too young to understand love?" Helga asked, elevating her head.
"Not at all. I believe any person is capable of love at any age," Dr. Bliss smiled, "I myself fell in love at a very young age also." She pointed to a gold ring that rested on her left hand.
Chuckling softly, Helga transferred her gaze away. Her heart ached subtly, but it happily anticipated a later rendezvous with Arnold.
"What do I do about Brainy?" Helga inquired, returning her stare, "He almost hurt me."
"He was acting out of anger. But you have to understand where he is coming from. To him, you were his only love and when you ended the relationship he most likely felt like his life was over. Think about it. What would you do if that happened to you?"
"I'd cream the guy," Helga announced automatically. Never had she noticed the insensitivity she had showed towards Brainy. Now, her heart ailed for him. She had afflicted him with the same pain Arnold had caused her to experience. She hadn't wanted to, but she did none the less. How could I do that?
"Exactly, but remember violence wouldn't solve the situation," Dr. Bliss stated, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"It would make me feel better," Helga grinned as she stretched her arms above her head.
Dr. Bliss laughed, but stopped herself abruptly. We're beginning to get off topic of the real problem.
"You are going to need to talk to Brainy," Dr. Bliss told Helga.
"I know, but what do I tell him?" Sitting up, a disturbed look overwhelmed Helga's face.
"Tell him your feelings on the situation. Explain to him your side."
"I'll try, but what if he doesn't listen?" Helga asked.
"If he sincerely loves you he will."
"And do I tell Arnold something. I mean now that I know he could somehow love me too." Helga savored a satisfying rapture that spread quickly through her limbs as she communicated those releasing words.
"It depends on what you feel. Helga, I can't answer all your problems. Some, you have to answer yourself." Dr. Bliss paused, contemplating what she had said and then resumed, "That is how we mature emotionally in life; by not waiting for someone else to solve our problems for us."
Helga considered those words. She's right, but crimeny, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. Before this discussion Helga would have sighted advice from another. All her life she had never answered her own conflicts that emerged inside of her soul. Never had someone told her to solve them on her own. If she could not discover a solution, she would push the problem to the back of her mind. Now, it suddenly hit her that that would not help her anymore for the conflicts in her life had grown too massive to shut away. Why couldn't I have seen this earlier?
Rising from her chair, Dr. Bliss walked to her desk and began searching through her papers.
"Do I have to go now?" Helga asked, standing up.
"I think you're ready," Dr. Bliss responded, grasping her black pen to fill out a blue pass.
"Okay," Helga said reluctantly, "I can come back, right?"
"Whenever you need to," Dr. Bliss answered as she provided Helga with the pass, "Second period should be almost over."
"Okay," Helga said quietly, taking the pass into her hand, "'Bye Dr. Bliss."
"Good-bye Helga," Dr. Bliss replied.
Walking to the door, Helga passively rotated the silver handle and took a step through. She shut the door gingerly behind her. In someway she felt relief pass through her because now confusion showed less in her mind. She understood what had to happen. As the last hour had progressed a significant piece of her had matured, she had learned a small amount more about her depth. Nothing would stop her from finding her true love. She would not permit it. Whether today, or tomorrow, or next year, however long it took, she would solve her problem.
Dr. Bliss slumped into the wooden chair behind her oak desk. How am I going to make it through the rest of the day? That discourse with Helga had taken so much from her energy; but she took pleasure of every moment of it. Never had any patient of hers ensnared her attention so well. When Helga had asked for assist, Dr. Bliss desperately desired to grant her with answers, but that was not her job. Her work was to show Helga that she proved capable of solving her own conflicts.
Blowing at a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes, Dr. Bliss rested her head into her hands. Did I help her? After every session she attended with any of her patients she asked that question. This time it felt more critical. Through Helga's words, her soul slowly presented itself revealing a fragile young girl. She is deep, extremely deep. Anxiety congested the young woman's features. Again, an overwhelming desire overcame her ordering her to chase after Helga and tell her what to do. She resisted. That won't help. She had to trust that Helga had learned something from their time together.
A/N: Okay, how is the story going? I hope it's not beginning to get frustrating. I'm trying to slow it down a little. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. At the end of this story I have a surprise to tell everyone. :) I would love to hear feedback, so please review and don't be shy. Tell me anything you want.