This chapter scares me…and I wrote it.

Dib sat in his jail cell miserably. He seemed to have lost all hope. But on a good note, Dib had found brand knew cell mates!

"So what are you in for?" Dib asked an enormous monster of a human.

"I beat up a guy for having a big head. He had it coming." the monster said as he pounded the wall with his fists.

"Help." Dib whispered as he crouched in a corner. All of a sudden, the jail cell's door opened and a guard came in.

"Dib." he said looking toward the curled up, scared Dib in the corner.

"What?" Dib said trembling. He managed to get up careful to lock eyes with the huge monster that was in the cell with him.

"Your time has come." the guard said.

"You mean I'm going to die?" asked Dib.

"What? No. No. Um…. Almighty Johnny has given you a chance at freedom. Will you take the Butts?"

"Butts?"

"Answer yes or no."

"Um…If you tell me what are the Butts?"

"Yes or no."

"Well…"

"YES OR NO! ANSWER!"

"YES!YES!" yelled Dib.

"Very well. Come with me." the guard said as he dragged Dib out of the cell.

The guard finally let Dib go in what seemed to be a vast desert. Dib looked around and he managed to spot some walls filled with a roaring crowd. Dib soon realized that this was not a desert but a giant battle arena. He looked up and saw a skybox with 3 people inside.

"Welcome Dib." said one of persons inside the skybox. Dib immediately recognized the voice.

"Johnny?" Dib asked.

"Come on. We've known each other for so long, call me Nny."

"But I just met you yesterday."

"DON'T QUESTION NNY!" Johnny yelled.

"HI BIG HEAD BOY!" yelled another voice in the skybox. It was Gir.

"SQUEAK!" squeaked the remaining person, or should I say animal in the skybox. Dib looked toward the squeak and saw a little moose.

"What's with the moose?"

"MINIMOOSE!" yelled Gir.

"What?" asked Dib.

"Minimoose, Dib. Remember the green kid's other sidekick?" said Nny.

"I think I saw him once, but I never really learned much about him."

"Blame Nickelodeon." said Nny.

"I do. I curse them all the time."

"Well, great. But we are getting off topic."

"What topic?"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT QUESTIONING ME!" yelled Nny.

"I'm sorry! Just don't yell again. It scares me."

"Okay. Are you ready to take the trials?"

"What trials?"

"ENOUGH WITH THE QUESTIONS! You never listen don't you? Well, the President Man is at a meeting with the world leaders. If you pass my and the green puppy's and the moose's, you are free to tell the world whatever you want. Got it?"

"Yeah, I think I do."

"But if you fail, I get the pleasure of cutting that enormous head of yours of your torso. But enough of that want a cupcake?"

"Sure."

"THAT WAS THE FIRST BUTT AND YOU FAILED!"

"NO! What this about butts?"

"Here in President Land trials are called Butts. Okay?"

"How did that get started?"

"You don't want to know."

"So, I failed the first trial?"

"Nah, I was just messing with your mind."

"Phew." sighed Dib.

"HA! THAT WAS ANOTHER BUTT AND YOU FAILED!"

"Really?"

"No. Man, can't you take a joke? Anyway Gir's Butt goes first."

"YEAH BIG HEAD BOY!" yelled Gir. "I want you to play Gir Says with me!"

"You've got to be kidding."

"Nope. Let's play!" Gir jumped out of the skybox and landed on Dib.

"The game works like Simon says. You must do what Gir tells you to do for five whole minutes. Get it, got it, good. NOW BEGIN!" said Nny.

"Gir says…do the chicken dance!" yelled the little Green puppy.

"It's for the sake of the world." said Dib to himself as he danced.

"Um…Gir says…." said Gir thinking. Dib kept on dancing like the insane maniac he is.

4.99 Minutes later:

"GIR! YOUR BUTT'S OVER!DIB HAS WON!" yelled Johnny. "Now get back here!"

"But me need to think!" yelled Gir. Johnny made a weird face and Gir ran back.

"HA! That was too easy. Even easier than foiling any one of Zim's plan!" Dib yelled proudly.

"We'll see about that. Because now it's time for my evil-"

"CHICKEN!" yelled Gir.

(Awkward silence)

"No..Gir. It's time for-" started Nny.

"HAPPY SONG TIME!" yelled Gir. And since he was the vice president anything he says goes. Everyone stared at Gir.

"COME ON LET'S SING!" yelled Gir as he grabbed a microphone.

"What do we sing?" asked Dib.

"FOLLOW ME!" Yelled Gir as he began to sing to the tune of Yankee Doodle "JOHNNY IS A MANIAC FROM VASQUEZ'S IMAGINATION! AND WHEN HE'S BORED HE LIKES TO KILL BIG HEADED CHILDREN!"

"Why ME!" yelled Nny. Dib started laughing hysterically.

"Johnny has many friends, they come in many sizes, unfortunately for him they are all dead!" Sang Gir "THEY ARE ALL DEAD! NOW THE NEXT VERSE!"

"NO! PLEASE GIR DON'T!AND MY FRIENDS AREN'T DEAD!" yelled Nny.

"Continue!" yelled Dib almost exploding because of the laughter.

"Now Johnny hates Dib boy, so does master. So this is what Johnny does: he stuffs him in a sack, closes all the air holes, uses a match then BOOM! DIB has gone bye-bye!" Dib stopped laughing, and Johnny was taking notes.

"Sack….Air holes…Boom!" mumbled Johnny as he wrote. Minimoose squeaked.

"Ok, I've had my fill of this." said Dib as he jumped to the sky box and grabbed Gir.

"Aw. If you wanted a hug you could have just asked me." said Gir. Dib faced the crowd.

"SEE THIS!" yelled Dib holding up Gir. "THIS IS NOT A PUPPY!" Dib took off the head piece revealing the robot head.

"HIYA! I LIKE CORN…." said Gir waving to the crowd.

"AAAAAHHHHHHH! THAT BOY HAS RIPPED ALL THE SKIN OFF THE HEAD OF OUR BELOVED PUPPY RULER!" yelled a random person in the crowd. Suddenly, an angry mob chased after Dib. Dib still held on to Gir. He wasn't letting him go. He ran out a huge door that was left open so the prisoners of the jail could escape.

After running for his very life for about two hours, Dib finally escaped the angry mob by hiding in an abandoned bacon factory.

"YAY, BACON!" yelled Gir stuffing his face with the greasy goodness.(I know that doesn't sound right)

"Gir! Be quiet!" yelled Dib as he gasped for breath. " I wonder what's the punishment for stealing the vice president ."

"You won't get punished." said another voice. Dib looked toward the voice and stared in awe.

This chapter was a little more insane than the others oh and part of the Johnny song isn't mine. The first verse was written by a friend and the second verse is mine. I have the next chapter done but I'll only post it if people review.

Next chapter: Pimples and insane creators.