Hello. Hello, and Hello. Hmmm…I don't have a lot to say except I'm sorry to everyone that I have been gone for so long. I was almost debating on whether or not to answer your reviews this time because I've been gone for so long. But I think I should especially since I've been gone so long. So here goes, another chapter in this continuing saga. I hope you like.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold.
Thanks to everyone for the reviews:
Ladybug06- Aw, don't cry. But maybe that's a good thing. It means this story must be getting to you and you're relating to it a little. And that is good, so go ahead and weep. :) But don't worry everything happens for a reason, nothing can be perfect without some stress. Thanks for the review.
Number6- I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Yes, Helga is very different from Lila. But I'm almost thinking Brainy needs that. He needs a change. Who knows what will happen. I sure don't. ; ) I'll see. For saying almost nothing, Brainy is a complex character who needs time to develop. Thanks a whole bunch for the review.
Tin – I'm fine, thanks for worrying though, just busy, very busy. I have too much going on with school I guess and friends and a boyfriend. Way too much going on. Lol. How are you and your boyfriend? Still going good or what? I hope so. I'm sorry it's been so long since I answered your reviews. Anyways, I have a screenname for AIM: bballpepbeauty. I feel so out of it right now when it comes to responding to all the reviews because it's been so long. I fee out of the groove. LOL.
Inferna- I don't know…Arnold might be able to tell Helga without an interruption. But life is difficult and a full course of misunderstandings. So, who knows? I guess just read this chapter and see what happens. Thanks for the review.
swimchick1614- Thank you very much for your review. I try to write to the best of my ability. Just keep reading to see how the plot develops between Helga and Arnold.
J.T.- It's been a muy long time. I hope you're still able to get into the story. I am so ready for this story to end. I'm thinking of ending quicker than before. I just don't want to leave it unfinished. And I'm trying to make sure I don't rush the ending. I guess we'll just see how it goes. I might change my mind about ending it fast. Thanks for the review and I'll to get the next chapter out a whole lot quicker.
Ms- Me too, Me too. Daydreaming is fun, but not for Helga. LoL. I hope something happens between Lila and Brainy, but I think something will…Lila just needs to think more about not hurting people for her own advantage.
dragonfly-luver202- Aw, I'm glad you liked it and don't worry things will begin to heat up between Helga and Arnold. Just have patience. :) Thanks for the review.
Blonde Cecile- Thank you so much for sticking with my story. I'm happy you thought it different form other first fanfics by other stories. Yes, my choice of words is unique. I always try to play with my sentences. I think that is how I somewhat soften the drama in the story by messing with words. Thanks for the review. :)
RuffMaster- Hey, it's been awhile…hope you're doing well. Me, I'm doing just dandy so don't worry. I didn't mean to put my story off for so long, just too much school to deal with. And then basketball season started so yea it's been a little crazy, but this story will be finished if it's the last thing I do. :)
maya jade- LOL. Don't worry, I took no offense to your review, I loved hearing your opinions for my story. Don't worry everything with Helga and Arnold happens for a reason in my story just as it does in life. Thanks for the review. :)
Chapter 20: Confessions Arrive
Long ago, Helga had dreams. She knew everything she wanted. And everything she wanted, she knew, would bring her happiness. And long ago Helga wanted to be happy. She wanted that overwhelming joy to burst from her soul. She wanted the desire of knowing things were alright. She longed to feel an overpowering smile on her frowning face. But that would not come true for she had no reason to be happy. Every time she felt a creep of joy she was reminded of a problem and her heart broke a hundred times over.
Sullenly, Helga trudged the lengthy, foreboding hallway to Dr. Bliss's. How will she help? Helga thought bitterly, kicking out her foot as if she was a pouting child. Helga did not need mental help. She didn't need someone to tell her to talk her problems out. An awkward laugh fell from Helga's lips. Crimeny, I'm not stupid. Everyone thinks my problems are so easy to solve.
"Well, they're not," Helga muttered quietly, "They're just a little deeper than no one asking me to a school dance for crying out loud." Helga was right. Her problem was different from most teenage girls. This problem had more to deal with the real world. This problem couldn't be solved with just a simple handshake and a few nice words. More deepness of thought would have to be present in order to begin in justifying this.
Obviously, Helga's happiness would not configure from Dr. Bliss. Neither would her reason for love. Another question arose in her mind at the word love. Again, a puzzling sadness flooded her inactive eyes. Who could love her now? This was all her fault. She had created such an enigma it showed no possible reason why anyone should love her. Leaving Brainy had been a mistake. Leaving Arnold had been a bigger mistake. The two men in her life that had ever felt love for her wretched soul now were gone.
Stubborn pride forced her not to drop to her knees and beg for Arnold's forgiveness. And ignorant confusion diminished on her conscience to request for Brainy. What Helga did not understand was they, just as her, felt unworthy for her love just as much. At this fact, the reader will ponder which pair does deserve each other? It seems none want to come true to their emotions. Nothing can be done when none are willing to do.
Helga's steps paused. Realizations came upon her. As you would know, realizations come to you at your most stupid times.
This is my life. Hope engulfed Helga's body.
"This is my life," Helga reapeated aloud, savoring every word as it bounced from her tongue. Of course, she was right. Her life was her's and her's to live. Her conscience, her friends, her teachers, her psychiatrist could not live it for her. But, and this was a big but that Helga would soon live to learn because, you see, Helga is an emotional person. Never would her logic dictate what she learned. And never would she rely on it when her heart could do the same. The only thing her heart could not accomplish would be to mend her sadness. Another's heart would be needed to do that.
For the last five minutes Helga had stood in the hallway unknowing of where she should be. Oh, she knew where she had been told to go: Dr. Bliss's office. But that was not where she was supposed to be. Blank fog was casted over her heart, leaving it unable to tell her where to go.
"I need to get out of here," Helga whispered. The school's exit was only two hallways back, past the cafeteria. After she left P.S.120 she had no idea where she would go next. Maybe she would go home. No, there's nothing to go home to. Maybe she would go to a friend's. Helga felt like slapping herself for that comment. There was no friend to go to. They were all in school.
Maybe she would just keep walking once she left the school. She would walk away from Hillwood. Maybe she would clear her conscience. Maybe she would find herself. But before another maybe could pass through her thoughts, Helga scolded herself. You're a fool Helga ol' girl; a fool in love.
Nothing would be settled by her leaving. If anything, it would make things more impossible to settle.
Stiffly, Helga's body turned to continue to Dr. Bliss's office. She was at the end of her long drawn rope. The end was becoming frayed. Gradually, all touch with herself was being lost. Desperately and silently she pleaded for an answer. Unfortunately, answers were far way, unwilling to visit.
Racing from the cafeteria, Arnold stopped abruptly. Where am I going? Helga isn't here. He was losing it. Love was ruining him. He would do anything for it, but it displayed no interest in returning the favor.
His knees wobbled. All he wanted was to sink to his knees and pray for mercy; mercy from this endless wrecking of his soul, mercy from his desperate desires of needing someone. Help. He needed it. He needed… What do I need? He knew what he needed, but it didn't matter. He needed Helga, but she did not need him. Was there no compromise for this bitter situation? Why couldn't Helga be his? His idea of confiding her how much he loved her would do nothing now that he thought. Over and over again Helga had heard it. Yet, she refused to will to it.
Why is she so stubborn? I want her. I need her. Frustration had so overcome Arnold; he wanted to break out in tears. Stumbling, he braced himself against the sturdy surface of a limestone wall, his chest heaving uncontrollably. This madness was ripping him apart. It was causing his physical health to suffer.
But what Arnold did not understand was that his confusion should soon be solved if he refused to give up. Helga was waiting. She was waiting once again to heed his words of love for her. If he could do this simple task, then everything would be okay.
"Helga, I love you," Arnold breathed, "I love you." His back pushed against the coldness of the wall. Again and again he whispered the words half expecting Helga to appear before him. It felt good to say them. They reminded him why he suffered so much stress. Honestly, he recognized the stress would be worth it if Helga could hear them.
Her head peeking from the corner, Helga listened intently to the words Arnold said. He does love me. Look what I've done to the poor football head. In her chest, her heart thumped excitedly. This is what she had prayed for, which was another chance, another chance where she could right her wrongs. Opening her mouth, Helga searched for her voice. But all that came was an odd gurgling noise. Across the forehead, Helga wanted to smack herself. It wasn't fair. This opportunity proved as one she could not let pass. It would be her last.
Bringing his stare from the linoleum, Arnold listened to the choking noises. Did someone hear me? Scarlet fired through his cheeks. Someone had heard him confess his secret.
"Who's there?" he managed to choke while his body trembled.
From behind the corner, Helga heard his query. Desperately, she longed to call out her name, the girl in love with him since the first time their eyes ever met. But sadly, she could not. Oh, why do I have to have pride?
"Is anyone there?" Arnold asked, beginning to feel relief spread through his limbs as he anticipated hearing no answer.
Uncontrollably, Helga's body jerked to movement. Her legs functioned. Her heart was going to take her to her love. Finally, her problems would be solved. She understood what she had to do. Confess. The time had come to confess.
Arnold stared quizzically at the corner, waiting for someone to appear. His eyes opened wide as he watched the golden hair come from hiding, followed by a pair of lonely blue eyes. On Helga's face an expression mixed with fear and embarrassment set in.
"Hey football head," she said, her eyes shifting to the floor and her hands uncomfortably laced to her sides. It was obvious she was speechless.
First instinct told Arnold to move closer to her. First instinct told Arnold to embrace her frame, to wrap her in his caring arms and steal her confusion away. But Arnold did neither of those. Patiently, he stood, his eyes scouring for Helga's. He needed eye contact. I have to make this easy for her.
"Helga," Arnold said cautiously. No response. But, I can tell you now that every ounce of her body wanted to. And not only that, she wanted to kiss him. She longed to feel the powerful, overtaking love he held for her again.
"Helga," Arnold repeated, still patient. Please Helga, don't be stubborn now.
After a few second, Helga lifted her head reluctantly to meet Arnold's gaze.
A smile transfixed Arnold's face, attempting to comfort Arnold. Quickly, he decided to ask his next question before she could move her eyes.
"Did you hear what I said?" Nervously, he made loud gulping noise with his throat as he anticipated her answer.
Indeed, Helga had heard every word. He loved her. A sudden burst of confidence moved through her veins. She wanted to acknowledge Arnold. She wanted to acknowledge Arnold and his love. She wanted acknowledge her love for him.
"I heard everything," she stated happily and then continued," You said you loved me." In her chest, her heart fluttered. It wanted to flutter straight to Arnold's heart. She wanted to connect with him.
So surprised at her sudden attitude change, Arnold had no idea what to say except, "That's right."
A huge grin emerged on Helga's face. This is what she had always dreamed of. Never would she dare to let it escape from her. Lunging at Arnold, she wrapped two shaking arms around his neck. In his ear, she playfully, but sincerely said, "I love you too."
This is not the end. It's been awhile. I haven't looked at this story for awhile. So, when I looked after not reading it for 3 months I had a new view of what should happen in the story. Review please; I love your opinions and suggestions.