Starfire watched as the last part of the sun disappeared on the ocean's horizon. She sat near the edge of the Tower's roof, occupying its center. Her long legs came up to her chest as she wrapped her arms around them. The usual comfort of her soft hair around her shoulders became somewhat of a nuisance, but she didn't have the energy to brush it away. The wind would simply wrap it around her again anyway.
It had been four days since they had left Tamaran. With the Titans almost entirely out of commission, the Justice League had sent a few members to keep the city in shape until the team was back to...
Starfire closed her eyes. Things would never be normal. The team could get back on its feet at some point, but it would never be the way it was. Not ever. Starfire had experienced death. But she had fooled herself into believing the Titans were inseparable. She thought back to the time when the worst thing she feared was the Rekmas: the Drifting. Even then, at least they all would have been alive. It was a hard fact, dealing with the death of Raven. Dealing with the removal of one of the team, forever. Even when they lost Terra, it wasn't permanent.
Terra. Trapped in stone, waiting for a cure to bring her back. That was saying there was one.
It was too hard for Starfire to be in the Tower, anywhere. She had a hard time looking at Cyborg. She knew in her heart he had done the right thing; that it was too late. It was simply hard to face that. Cyborg had tried disappearing in the garage earlier to keep his mind occupied. It had been perhaps four minutes when he made his way back up and walked solemnly across the recreation lounge to the halls on the other end. Starfire didn't understand why, but something in the garage seemed to have a negative effect and did nothing to comfort him. Starfire even noticed he'd come up looking worse than when he'd gone down.
Starfire stayed a moment longer on the sofa before heading up to the roof. She looked across the ocean as the sky's orange lining of the horizon began to darken while she sat there. This one spot, a favorite of Raven's when meditation inside the Tower had proven futile.
Starfire hugged her legs tighter, resting her chin on her knees. Even up here, she couldn't get away.
The Tamaranian girl thought of her home world, her people. What made everything so difficult was that the loss for her was greater. She'd lost her friend, and she'd lost her world. Blackfire, her sister, had won. Blackfire was nowhere to have been found during the battle in the Royal Palace. It would have been just like her to gloat, yet there was no word from her or of her in any of the information relaying around Tamaran. Had she even been on the planet? The assault force attacking the Palace and surrounding sites was not the only attack force across Tamaran. Perhaps she had been a part of one of the other raids?
Starfire sighed. It was a useless detail. Her first home was gone. For her, though, Earth was now her home. She feared for the Tamaranians who survived. Where would they go? What little word she had of the remnants came from a small Tamaran shuttle that followed them to Earth. The small crew communicated with some of the other ships that were within stellar communication range. The Tamaranians had clustered together into three main fleets of varying craft. All together, there had been 1,830,000 survivors, which did not include Tamaranians that had been off-world at the time. Of the survivors was a severely wounded Galfore. She had not heard any information on how he'd managed to escape or on his recovery since finding out he was alive.
As the last bit of light remained on the horizon, Starfire buried her face in her knees and arms. She thought of her own wounded. Robin and Beast Boy were both in the infirmary. Beast Boy was still in a heavy coma. Even with the wound cauterized, he had lost a sufficient amount of blood. They had done what could be done for him to keep him as healthy as possible, but a blood transfusion was far too difficult. Beast Boy's body had to rely on itself to heal and regenerate a lot of what it needed. Things for him were still very rocky.
Miraculously, Robin's wound wasn't as damaging as expected. The blast slammed into his right shoulder blade, causing extensive damage to the skin and muscle tissue, but he would be all right. With Robin, however, Starfire had a difficult time. She visited him once in the last four days, when he was barely conscious. She couldn't face him. Not after what she'd felt. It had been horrible. How could she have thought that way? She was watching him, the various machines and taps hooked into him. He noticed her in the doorway...and smiled weakly. She smiled back to him. Then, she had that awful thought.
She hadn't gone to see him since. She limited herself to merely asking how he had been doing. It was also the only real reason Starfire would actually talk to Cyborg. Perhaps even an excuse to do so.
Starfire became acutely aware of footsteps from behind her. The young girls head came up from her knees a moment, then turned. Robin, his arm in a sling and his shoulder bolted down to a metal-framed half-body cast, walked slowly along towards Starfire. She stood up, highly surprised to see him walking. Her heart raced, but for all the wrong reasons. Was it guilt? Was it fear? He had stopped walking. They stood that way for quite a few moments.
"Hey, Star," Robin finally broke the silence.
"Robin," she half-sighed out. "I…you are well! Well enough, to..."
Robin gave that half-smirk, looking himself over as best he could. "Yeah. Infirmary was getting really stale for my tastes. Just don't tell Cyborg I'm up here."
Starfire afforded a slight giggle. It felt surprisingly good. She held her slight smile a moment longer before finally asking. "How is Beast Boy? Has he improved in the least?"
Robin looked down a bit before responding. "He's still in a coma. Cyborg says his body has healed up considerably, though. No infections he could detect. It's now just a matter of him coming out of it."
The Tamaranian girl looked away for a moment. There was an awkward silence between the two.
"I…know about...what happened," Robin finally began. "That Raven died…helping me. After I was hit." Now, it was Robin's turn to look away. "I've been having a hard time with that. I keep thinking in that damned infirmary, if I'd only been more careful. Quicker, maybe..."
It was a few moments more before Starfire finally decided to walk the rest of the way across to Robin. She stopped one more moment as she got to him before finally raising a gloved hand to his face. There was a scar on his cheek, a scar that hadn't been there before. She couldn't help but begin tearing up.
"You," Starfire began through her tears, "have done nothing wrong. As Raven saved your life, you have also saved Beast Boy's." Starfire closed her eyes a moment. "And, Cyborg saved us all."
It was the first time in the last four days that she could say it out loud and truly believe it. A part of the weight on her heart lifted. But, it was only a portion. She looked to Robin, wanted to embrace him, but she was afraid she might hurt him. The last thing she wanted to do was create more pain for him. But, she couldn't hold back her tears. And she knew that was bothering him.
It was Robin that reached for her with his good arm and pulled her to him. Starfire wrapped one arm across Robin's lower back, the only place she felt safe holding him. She rested her chin lightly on his shoulder. They said nothing more for the longest time. They simply shared in each other's grief.
Her grief was more immediate. She was happy that Robin was alive. She was grateful that Raven had saved him...had sacrificed her life to save him. That was what tore her up. How could she do that? How could she place a greater importance of one friend over another like that? That was the thought she'd had in the infirmary. She thought it every time she thought of Robin. Now, seeing him again, it was the same feeling. It crushed her inside. How could she ever get over that?
Starfire finally raised her head from Robin's shoulder. She wiped the tears from the side of her face with her left hand. Then, she looked at Robin. Yes, she was glad to have him here. To be able to touch him still. She didn't ever want to lose that.
"When Beast Boy wakes up," Starfire began, taking a breath in between, "we should all be there. To tell him what has happened. He will need his friends at his side."
Robin nodded. "We're all going to need each other. We're still a team. It's hard. It's going to be just as hard for a long time. But, we'll get through it together."
Starfire smiled slightly and nodded once. She let her right arm drop from around Robin. The Boy Wonder caught her arm lightly as he pulled his away from her back, then he let it slide from his fingers.
"Robin," Starfire began, "might I accompany you down stairs?"
"I'd like that, Star," Robin answered. "If Cyborg finds us…"
"I shall tell him I ...'dragged you up here.'" Starfire smiled.
Robin half-smirked. "I was going to say, if he finds us that I just wanted to come up for some fresh air."
"Ah." Starfire replied. "I believe that will do just fine."
She let Robin start walking in first, then took up his side. She was second to go down the stairs inside and happened to look up at the night sky. It had lost its evening glow. That glow had always seemed to sooth her in the past. Even tonight, at near the last minute, it still managed to sooth her...in some form. She sighed, and walked down inside the Tower.
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Well, that's it. This story ends here, so no sequels relating to it will be written. Again, please let me know what you think. :)