"HAHA. Gotcha!" James said.
OMG. That's it. You've crossed the line James Potter.
"How could you SAY THAT! Especially to me! Saying something like that is a serious matter. What's wrong with you! That is not funny James…ERGGGh I can't stand you anymore. That's IT!" I screamed. Then a flash of a memory came to me. I saw my brother finally coming out to my family. Then my parents shunting him out of the house. Oh how I hated my parents for dong that. I miss him.
I look at James squarely in the eye, my face red with so much anger.
"James Potter I hate you with all of my heart. I wish to never speak to you again!"
I saw by the look on his face, that the words hurt him. I finally let all my anger out on him. He saw the perfect girl crack. But I couldn't help it. The anger is spilling out so fast.
I quickly ran to the dormitory before I knew it I heard a voice.
"LILY! I-im SORRY!"
Before I knew it I was on my bed crying my eyes out. The mention of the word queer hurts so much. It brought back the memory when my parents kicked my brother out of the house. How could they do that? I mean my other sister brought a boy in the house and got pregnant! Shes only 18! Why didn't they kick HER out of the house. I mean the fathers no where to be SEEN. I sat there on my bad with silent tears coming down my face. Too many of the memories hurt me. But no one shall know. Being the only witch in the family, I knew that it took time for my family to accept that I had magical powers. For days I remembered that no one looked me in the eye. I knew they were afraid. But I was still the same Lily…just a special Lily. all these thoughts gave me such I headache, I fell fast asleep.
For the past 4 days I managed to ignore James. Its finally Saturday and I get to relax. Today was also the day that we were allowed to go to Hogsmeade. I decided not to go and be surrounded by happiness and laughter.
"wow, this is the first time ive ever seen you not wanting to go shopping! Are you sure you don't want to come? It'll be fun!" asked Sybil.
"No..no im fine. I'll stay here. You guys go. Bring me back something will ya?"
"Of course just to let you know that James and Sirius are staying behind…just to warn you."
"What? Oh man…thanks…well have fun. I'll see you later! BYE!" I waved to my friends as they left.
I went outside to my favorite beech tree along with my scarves and layers of jackets. It was a cold windy autumn day. But still sunny. Finally when I arrived I just sat there and looked at the water. This is so relaxing I thought. I closed my eyes for what seem 5 minutes until I felt someone leaning against the tree. I opened my eyes and looked up. There was Sirius looking down at me.
"Hey Sirius…what's up? Wheres James? You two are ever so inseperable.
"He's inside. Look I just wanted to talk to you. About you and James. Whatever you said to him hurt him a lot. And I know he hurt you too. Hes been so quiet and down. I mean we did a prank the other day and he just sat there, staring into space. Not a care in the world. I guess you got to him Lily. You got to James Potter. The prankster, the jokester. The ladies man." Sirius said.
I laughed when he said that James was a ladies man. It was true. Seeing him with girls around him all the time. I mean I couldn't see why not. He's at least 6 ft tall, with black messy hair that you just want to run your hair through. His face had so many striking features that other guys cant match up to him. His best feature was his eyes. Bright ice baby blue. They were so pretty I loved it. I looked back at Sirius. He was very handsome too. I mean they were both ladies men. He was probably as tall as James. Brown messy hair too. Sirius was a really good guy, and I loved it how he cared for others. Too bad James isn't like that. Maybe he is. He just doesn't show it.
"Look Sirius. I might said something that hurt James. You're right. But he said something that went too far. A joke. But it just didn't go with me. If hes still feeling sad…just tell him…" I couldn't say it.
"just tell him to talk to me ok? I'll be here…"
"alright evans! I'll be right back. I'll tell him to come out…are you sure you want him out here? I mean…it'll help the both of you."
Oh man…I have to face james again. After that horrible night…I cant stand to see him. I felt so mad at him but I also felt sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. But its his fault that he said such a horrible joke. I continued to look at the water. Its so pretty. The sun glittering off of it. I close my eyes again then opened them when I heard a thud next to me. James was sitting there looking cozy with his scarf around his neck. He was wearing a newsboy cap then he took it off. Hey that's a cute hat. We continued to sit there with a silence and we both looked off onto different directions. I gave a glance at his wrist and saw a bracelet. It look oddly familiar. What was he doing wearing a bracelet? I gave a small grin. That's too cute
"Look Lily…im sorry for what I said days ago. I was just joking around. I really didn't know that it would hurt you so."
I was quiet, not looking at him. Then words came out of my mouth.
"that's ok really…you didn't know so that's alright."
"really? You've forgiven me? Aw thanks Lily… but could I ask you what I didn't know?"
I looked at him with tears forming behind my green eyes. I shook my head and told him "I cant really talk about it…im sorry maybe next time yeah?"
"ok…yeah sure no problem."
After the longest silence ive ever experienced. I finally came up with something to ask him.
"Why do you hate me James? You're always laughing and making jokes about me…" I finally asked.
"I don't hate you at all…but you know its something people expect of me. I came to school as a jokester…and to people I will always be a jokester. They could never see me as a sensitive nice guy. You know. People expect you to be things and you cant help it but actually pretend to be…" James said with his head against the tree.
I nodded, agreeing with what he said.
"I know exactly how you feel James. I mean doesn't everyone at school see me as this happy perfect person?"
"But you are!"
"No…I know people don't see me ever having anger inside me. But I do…I have flaws like others. I just wish they could see it. I do have anger. I do have hatred. They'll never understand eh? Damn people…" I said with the tears forming behind my eyes again. They sting. They want to come out. But not in front of James.
"I bet people think I have the perfect family…that they're so lovable. Well no ones ever met them so they shall believe what they want…"
James continued to sit there with his head looking at the lake now. He nodded and look straight at me. Those blue eyes pierced through mine. I know hes feeling something. I know hes a sensitive guy. I looked away and continued to sit there. it seem like hours just sitting there but it wasn't.
"I meant to ask you something James." I finally said changing the subject.
"yeah? Whatever you like Lily." he said smiling.
"you're going soft on me James." I laughed then he smiled.
"anyways who was that girl on the train? I have never seen her in my entire life! I didnt even know she went to our school!" I asked.
"Oh that girl….her names Samantha." He answered.
"and?…"
"shes in ravenclaw…shes kinda my…um"
"what your sister? Your what?" I wanted to know.
"shes kinda my girlfriend…" he finally spitted out.
"Your girlfriend from RAVENCLAW? Like a serious one? Ive never known you're compatible with someone… Did you meet her over the summer or something?"
"actually yeah. Shes a daughter of my dads friend. They kinda wanted us to go out for some odd reason. Heh. You know parents."
"Huh." When he said those words…they took a stab at my heart. Why am I jealous? Well obviously because I like him…but I should be happy for him. Now I know that I cant take a chance with him it really hurt.
"are you guys…"I couldn't say it." Happy together?"
"well yeah sort of…"
"what do you mean sort of?"
"I kinda have a feeling she wants someone else…I don't know like someone I know. Like one of my friends…"
"Don't tell me shes taken a liking to…"
"Sirius." He said breaking my guess off. I gasped. Now I kinda have a chance but when I looked at James face, I knew he felt sad. I had to find a way to comfort him
"does Sirius know about this?" I asked, hoping not to hurt him.
"no, I…didn't have the nerve to tell him. I mean come on. I cant just go up to him and say 'hey my girlfriend likes you instead of me'. How is he going to react? I should just break it up with Samantha. She deserves someone else, not me."
I continued to be surprised with the secret James had just told me. We knew we talked long enough when he heard voices calling our names.
"PRONGS! LILY! COME ON! LETS EAT!" called out Sirius.
But before we decided to walk on forward. I asked James," so are you really gonna break it off with Samantha and tell Sirius about…her?"
"yeah…I do kinda still like her…but she likes someone else you know. I mean I cant still go around watching my girlfriend looking at my best friend in ways that she doesn't even look at me! Im doing her a favor…"
"right" I replied as we walked together back to the castle.