A/N: Dude I'm like finally back! I had my 10 hour art exam... I almost died. Thank you for waiting though... D
Also, the beautiful song featured in this chapter is called 'Fallen' by Sarah McLachlan.
Chapter Nineteen
There she was in her hotel room, hiding away in the bathroom. Randy was out. She sat in the empty bathtub with her knees curled up to her chin, sobbing away, until she heard a voice.
"Hi…" said the unexpected visitor. She looked up at him, her mascara smudged.
"What do you want?" she asked wiping those tears away with the back of her hand.
"I want to know what's wrong…" he said, casually walking over.
"There's nothing wrong …" she hiccupped as she got out of the tub and brushed right past him and dived towards the bed, her face buried by soft goose feather pillows.
"Come on, why are you crying?" he asked with a chuckle as he sat next to her with his hand patting her back comfortingly.
"Get off me John," she spat coldly. She sat up and faced him, resentment in her eyes. "Why am I crying? Cos my life is shitty… ok?"
"Why?"
"John just get the hell out of here, I don't need you and your damn questions…"
"Did Randy hurt you?"
"No, he'd never! He's not like you!"
"So I hurt you?"
"Do you even have to ask? Of course you did! I have laid my life on you, I had given up everything just for you and you can't do the same for me cos you're so ignorant, so selfish… you're such an asshole you know that?"
"Yes…" he answered.
"I thought Randy was gonna propose," she sobbed even harder. "And I was ready to say yes, I was ready to get away from you, but he didn't … and now I don't know what to do! My life is completely ruined…"
"I'm sorry," John apologised, placing his hand on top of hers.
"Stop apologising, nothing can make this better…"
"What if I told you that I've stopped seeing Heather, would that make this better?" he asked. She looked up at him speechlessly.
"You've stopped seeing her?"
"Yes, I've been wasting my time all along. I've come to a realisation that, I really do love you and everything about you. I can't really imagine being married to someone like her, even if I had a record deal. I wouldn't be true to myself. I can't live without you… I'm sorry I used you as a rebound, that was wrong and I feel bad that you've kept your life on hold for me and I'm sorry it's taken this long for me to notice it. But I really care for you and I just want us to be together again."
"Seriously?"
"Yes seriously, I love you Torrie," He said as he pulled her into a hug, she sobbed silently on his shoulder.
"I've been waiting so long to hear that…" she whispered softly into his ear in between sobs.
"I'm sorry it took so long…" he chuckled, tightening the hug as he began to caress her neck.
"I've always loved you John…" she moaned and suddenly the nibbling went away…
"Alright, thank you for your time…" said Randy as he put his cell phone away.
Torrie woke up to the sound of Randy's voice. She was still in her room and at her parents' house. Crap! Not another dream…
She sat up, rubbing her weary eyes and saw Randy sitting on the edge of her bed, quieter than usual. He sat in his boxer shorts and looked out the window without saying anything.
"Morning…who was that?" she asked groggily.
"Mr Bischoff," he answered blandly with a shrug, he sounded insensitive which was different. He didn't even turn to face her as he spoke to her. Something was definitely wrong.
"So am I really moving to RAW?" she asked politely, sitting up and crawling towards him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her chin on his shoulder.
"Do you even want to?" he asked with a slight cocky chuckled.
"Yes!" she answered, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know…Because of JOHN perhaps?" Randy spat coldly as he rudely wriggled out of her clutches, pacing around in the small bedroom. He really had to bring John up into this discussion didn't he?
"What about him?" she asked innocently, tucking her hair behind her ears, still somewhat shocked that he was being so frigid all of a sudden.
"I don't know, why don't you tell me?" he said in frustration as he crossed his arms and looked at her irritably. She was baffled.
"I don't know what you're talking about…" she replied shaking her head. Now fed up of his attitude, she lay back on the bed, relaxed. He gritted his teeth in annoyance.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Don't play dumb with me Torrie!" he belted, yelling at her in an accusing manner.
"I'm not!" she answered offended by his accusation. This was the first time she had seem Randy like this ever since they dated, frankly she didn't like this side of him.
"Don't fucking lie…" he warned her as he pointed his finger at her disrespectfully. She slapped his hand away irately.
"Don't fucking point at me!" she spat at him. "Don't fucking accuse me either!"
"I will do whatever the hell I want!" he screamed, getting closer to her.
"Not in my house!" she yelled back, she pushed him back and walked towards the dressing table. "Get away from me!"
"You ungrateful bitch!" he crouched down and spat harshly into her ear.
"What have I ever done?" she asked defensively as she brushed her hair with her comb roughly.
"You know exactly what you've done!" he sneered at her.
"If you're gonna keep accusing me for something I haven't done, why don't you just fucking leave?" she suggested.
He gritted his teeth, took a step forward and pulled his hand back ready to swing forward and strike her across the face. She stood up bravely and inched closer to him.
"Hit me, I dare you…" she said boldly. He stared at her intensely, his hand still held in mid-air, breathing rapidly, his face beet red. She kept looking at him, her arms folded waiting for him to hit her. He exhaled loudly with his eyes closed and dropped his arms by his side. His anger died down quickly as tears began form, he collapsed on to the floor with his face buried into his hand, sobbing away.
"I'm sorry…" he sniffled, covering his face in embarrassment, ashamed of himself for even thinking of hitting her. Torrie's heart melted at the sight, he looked so feeble sat on the ground like that. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around him, regretting her previous actions.
"It's ok…" she said comfortingly as she allowed him to rest his head on her shoulder, one hand stroking the back of his head.
"A-are you going to b-break up with me?" he asked anxiously, grabbing securely around her waist, his swollen red eyes looking directly into hers.
"No! What makes you think I would?" she asked him.
"You said it yourself…" he mumbled. She froze.
"What!" she shrieked. "That's ridiculous! When?"
"When you were asleep…" he hiccupped. "You said-"
"What did I say?" she asked fearfully as she sprang up, removing her arms from around Randy. Her eyes widened, something gave her the feeling that this would be bad news.
"…You, y-you called his name…" he sobbed ashamedly. She looked even more astounded that before.
"I was watching you sleep, I then started kissing your neck and then…you called out for John," he explained, weeping even harder. Torrie's jaw dropped as she came into a realisation. She remembered her dream and how John was 'kissing her neck'. She slowly dropped to her knees as tears instantly gushed down. She was guilt-ridden and there was no hiding it. She was a terrible person. He hadn't done anything to deserve this punishment, she was just a bitch for hurting him.
"…I'm sorry…" she replied speechlessly, unsure of what to say. She had messed up yet again, she had chased John away, now Randy too. Her life was officially over…
"Was there any point in our relationship where you actually loved me?" he asked, not facing her because he could not bear to see her cry, nor could he bear to hear her answer to that question. He looked emotionally wrecked, like never before. She hated to think that she had caused this.
"Of course I did!" she answered, almost choking on her tears. "I still do!"
"You just love him more right?" Randy asked in a disheartened mood. She couldn't answer.
"… What do you want me to say?" she asked with a shrug as she brushed the tears away.
"Just tell me the truth," he sighed. "I don't want to be a burden to you."
"You aren't!" she assured him, shaking her head violently as tears just poured down.
"As corny as this is going to sound… if you're happy, then I'm happy…" he hesitated to say, it almost sounded forced. He put his hand over hers and held it tightly. She chuckled, wiping her tears away. "I know I've said that before. But it's true…"
"Is this really the end?" she asked disappointedly.
"It's your call…" he shrugged.
"I feel bad…" she said guiltily. "I don't want you to feel as if I used you…"
"Well if you continue to see me and not have any feelings for me, that would be using me," he replied. "As much as I'd hate to say it, I think you'd be better off with John…"
She frowned, guilt-ridden by her actions. Randy tried to look on the brighter side and pulled her into a hug, assuring her it would be ok and that they'd still remain friends. Being friends with him wouldn't make anything better, she had just lost two people who she had loved. She felt beyond foolish for having loved and trusted John so much, even though she knew he could never feel the same way. She had really outdone herself this time, she could only blame herself for allowing him to fool her for the second time. She had fallen.
Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.
I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...