Devoted
Chapter 9
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The aftershocks of Lily and James's falling out reverberated throughout the Head Tower and slowly seeped into the school.
Obviously, nobody but the guilty parties knew what had caused the sudden uneasiness in Lily or why James was moving through school in a robotic manner.
Remus had tried to corner James in the library one day and get some information. "What's wrong with you? What exactly happened between you and Lily?" He had shouted to James's retreating back as the boy dodged him.
Sirius could feel Lily's entire body tense up on the rare occasion that they were all in the same room. She still laughed and talked normally but it just felt as though she was on guard for something.
Days, weeks, and months past in this manner as the year slowly entered December. The two week holiday vacation was just as lethargically approaching. Most of the seventh year students were unbearably weighed down with homework that was supposedly helping them study for their N.E.W.T's.
"I can't believe how much work we've got," growled Colleen a week before break. "It will be absolutely wonderful to go home and relax. Are you going home, Lillian?"
Lily bent over her work. "You know how my family is… I'm probably just going to stay here," she muttered.
Colleen stared for a moment. "No, Lillian, actually I don't know much about your family. All you've ever told me is that you don't get along, and that you had a huge disagreement with your sister."
"That…that's what I mean." Lily looked determinedly at her paper. "I'm going to go up to my room, see you later."
She stood up quickly and, shoving her work into her bag, left the library. The hallway was empty of 5th and 7th form students because of the fact that they were busy starting the tremendous load of pre-exam work.
Lily walked briskly through the hallway, stopping only once, to take points away from a group of 6th years who were selling fake answer sheets to the tests.
As she was passing Gryffindor's fat lady, the portrait swung open, revealing a grinning Sirius.
"Hey Lilybird, looking good! I saw you on the map," he winked. "Listen, I've spoken to James's mum and if you haven't got any plans I'd like it if you'd spend the hols with me…"
Lily frowned, "Why did you talk to James's mum about Christmas?"
"Oh," Sirius shrugged as they started walking. "Things at home weren't going so great, so I ran away. I've been living with James for awhile now."
Lily sighed as they reached the tower entrance. "Wow," she whispered after saying the password. "I didn't know about that." She opened the door and motioned for Sirius to come in as well.
Sirius shrugged again, "I guess I always thought you knew. But anyway, would you like to spend Christmas with us or are you doing something else?"
Lily smiled, "I'd love to, but will James be okay with it?"
"Be okay with what?"
The couple turned around. James was standing at his bedroom door wearing a towel. His disheveled hair was dripping and he was wiping his glasses off. He put them back on and said again, "be okay with what?"
Sirius shifted uncomfortably as he felt Lily tense up, "Um, I've spoken to your mum about, er, Lily coming to stay with us for Christmas…"
James looked shocked for a second before putting on his cool façade again. "That's fine, whatever. If she wants to come, she can."
"So, how about it, Lilybird?" Sirius asked, giving her a broad grin.
Lily opened and closed her mouth a few times, giving her world famous goldfish impression. "Well…I suppose it sounds…good to me." She ended with a lame smile.
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Lily lugged a small trunk into the Great Hall, checking her cloak to make sure it was still fastened. As she approached the door, Colleen caught up with her.
"Hey Lillian, I thought you weren't going home." She shouted over the din of students yelling goodbye to one another.
Lily stopped, letting Colleen catch her breath. "I'm not going to my house. I'm actually spending the holidays with Sirius… he lives with James, you know."
"Oh," Colleen replied. "That sounds like fun. I'm going to my granddad's place with my family. But, anyway, I just wanted to give you your present." She pulled out a package wrapped with silver paper.
Lily smiled, "Thank you! Here, let me get yours out. I was just going to send it by owl later, but…there you go." She handed a small gift covered with green and white paper.
"Thanks, Lillian… listen, sit with me on the train, ok? Like old times."
The students began moving out the doors. "That sounds great," Lily answered.
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"…And so then she goes, 'Oh, well…I just thought that would be fun, to have a name game in each class …' and I'm completely sitting there thinking, 'Are you kidding me?!'" Lily concluded, laughing.
Colleen wiped a tear of mirth from under her eye. "Oh my gosh, Lillian! I've missed you so much."
"What do you mean? We see each other all the time, you know, in classes and stuff."
"But we never get to talk very much. You're always out with Sirius or doing Head Girl business or going to Charms Club. You're just a busy girl." Colleen laid her head against the cool, frosted window, watching the farmland fly by. "And I understand it, I just miss you…"
Lily stared with wide eyes. "Oh…I-"
She was interrupted by the compartment door slamming open.
Sirius stood grinning in the doorway. "Yoo-hoo! Cheerio beautiful ladies, I have arrived!" He barked, bowing slightly. Behind him, James, Remus, and Peter were waiting.
As they piled in, Colleen slouched into the corner, crossing her arms and sighing.
James and Peter sat down beside her while Sirius slid next to Lily, wrapping an arm around her petite waist, and Remus took the spot next to them.
Everyone talked and laughed, pretending to be friendly in some cases, but all around appearing to have a good time. Before long, the soft swaying of the train began to slow and Platform 9 3/4 came into view.
Sirius leaned across Lily and pointed out the window. "See that couple over there?" He wiped some more of the fog from the window and pointed again at a grey haired lady wrapped in a pink rain coat who was arm in arm with a man who had neat black hair and wire rim glasses. "They're James's parents."
"But…his hair is so immaculate. It's not sticking up all over the place." Lily answered, glancing at James who absent mindedly ran a hand through his messy hair.
"I know, isn't it hilarious?" Sirius laughed.
The squealing of the brakes announced their arrival and everyone began grabbing their belongings from the carriers.
James, Lily, and Sirius said their goodbyes and headed over to the man and woman that Sirius had pointed out.
"Hey mum, how are you dad?" James said softly, hugging each of his parents. "This is Lily Evans… She's going out with…Sirius, and she's also Head Girl."
James's mum smiled, "Oh, are you dear? That's wonderful!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Potter. And thank you for having me over for Christmas," Lily replied.
"None of this Mrs. Potter business, it makes me feel old. Please call me Diane. Let me also introduce my husband, Henry-"
The man adjusted his glasses. "You may call me Mr. Potter," he muttered gruffly. "Shall we proceed home?"
Diane sighed and nodded. She motioned for the three teenagers to follow her and walked after her husband. They found an open Flooing fireplace and left for the Potter Manor.
Lily stepped grudgingly into the fire pit after Sirius had left. She hated traveling this way. She shouted the address and felt the sickening sensation of being spun too much. Finally, to her immense relief, the twirling slowed and she felt her self thrust into a large, open hall. With a sharp pain to her knee, she "gracefully" fell onto the marble floor.
"Very poised, Lilybird!" Sirius laughed, holding out a hand.
"Ha, ha, yes…very funny," Lily replied grumpily, all the while accepting his hand.
A side door opened and James walked in. "Alright, I'll show you to your room Lily. Sirius, you're staying where you always stay, of course."
Sirius nodded and kissed Lily on the cheek before leaving.
"Come on," James drawled. "I'll show you some of the house on our way to the guest room."
It was quite a long walk from the main hallway to Lily's bedroom. James pointed out the kitchen, his own room, a couple of bathrooms, the dining room; they strode up a set of stairs somewhere, passing the rec room and the family room before they arrived at the guest room.
"Here you go. Um, let's see. There's an en suite bathroom. It's small but it has everything you need and your trunk was magicked up already…see, it's sitting there. You can use that armoire for your clothes. That's about it. When you are done in here, come to the dining room as dinner should be ready soon," James explained. "Do you think you can find your way there?"
"Yes," Lily smiled. "Thanks for showing me around, James." She made a sudden movement with her arm as though to reach out and touch him, but thought better of it. "I'll see you in a couple of minutes," she murmured turning towards the armoire.
Say something to her! A voice in James's head whined. Tell her how you feel… Just walk over, grab her arm, and kiss her. Make her want you. Instead, he turned on his heel and left the room, shutting the large oak door behind him.
Quietly, James leaned back against the door. Trying to maintain control of his…his…his uncontrollable desire for Lily Evans. He just wanted her so bad. He was almost certain that they were meant to be and that some cruel twist had taken away his destiny.
James scrunched up his eyes and balled his fist, feeling once again how much he liked Lily. He watched the yellow and red amebas that swam across his eyelids, trying to relax.
Suddenly, the door on which was leaning was pulled open and James fell backwards. His arms revolved wildly, trying to regain balance. Lily screamed.
"What are you doing?" She yelled, clutching her chest. James opened and closed his mouth, giving an uncanny impression of Lily's goldfish face. Lily giggled and knelt next to him. "Never mind, are you ok?"
"Uh, yeah, I think so," he nodded. "Listen, I wasn't… you shouldn't… it's just… don't think… your hair looks nice."
Lily laughed again. "Well, thanks…it's just up in a ponytail."
James shrugged, "It's nice though. It makes your eyes stand out even more." He pushed a stray curl behind her ear. "Hey, let's not be mad anymore."
Lily stood up quickly and it looked for a second as if she would rather remain angry. But then a smile lit her face and she reached out her hand. "That sounds good."
James grabbed her hand with a small grin and allowed her to pull him up.
"Actually," she said, biting her lip. "I don't remember where the dining room is…"
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Lily sat on Sirius's lap in the family room, watching the snow fall down softly against the night sky. It amazed her how quiet the world became when it snowed, like everyone was holding their breath and worshiping the beautiful white flakes.
It was Christmas Eve and to Sirius's great relief, James and Lily were on speaking terms. Albeit, those terms were stilted and polite at times, at least they were talking.
Lily turned her eyes to the glittering Christmas tree; it made her smile. It had been very sloppily done by James and Sirius earlier that morning, in Muggle fashion. Strands of red and gold encircled the tree, but unfortunately Sirius had run out halfway through and so the bottom half of the tree was bare. There were round silver bobbles hanging throughout the branches… but most of them were broken from falling repeatedly on the floor. And finally, there was a long string of white Christmas lights that sparkled even though a fuse had blown and many of the lights were no longer shining. Of course, Sirius and James weren't very good with the Muggle electronics above plugging it into the only outlet in the house.
"You guys are stupid," Lily giggled fondly, staring at the tree.
Sirius looked extremely offended. "No, we're quite sophisticated. The tree is… beautiful."
"I agree," muttered James vaguely as he eagerly pinched the gifts under the tree. "And it took us all day to decorate."
Sirius looked at his watch. "Merlin, it's already midnight. I'm off to bed, how about you guys?"
"I'm going to stay and watch it snow for a little while," Lily yawned, turning her gaze back to the dazzling white landscape.
James finished shaking a package and stood up. "I'm just going to put the presents I got for everyone under the tree and then I'm going to go to sleep too…"
Sirius kissed Lily and bid goodnight and Merry Christmas to James before heading to his bedroom.
Lily watched the swirling flakes gather on the walk marveling at how they turned blue in the moonlight, like only purely white or black things can do. It reminded her of a girl in her Transfiguration class who had black hair and how she developed a blue halo in the light.
"Hey, Happy Christmas Lily," spoke James.
Lily started; he was under the tree again, this time laden with an abundance of packages. She hadn't even noticed him leave.
"Yeah, you too."
He continued to arrange the presents around the trunk. "You were really quiet tonight," he remarked, as he stood up and looked out the icy window as well.
Lily shrugged, "Christmas is kind of a hard time for me…" She looked up at James's face before letting her eyes rest on the tree again. "My mum died of cancer four years ago on Christmas day."
"I'm really sorry, I had no idea," James murmured, sitting on the couch next to Lily.
She waved her hand, "Don't be sorry, it's not your fault and for three hundred and sixty-four days out of the year… give or take… I'm absolutely okay with it."
He noticed that there were small tears shining in the corner of each beautiful eye. "Why aren't you with your family?"
Lily roughly wiped the tears away. "I don't really want to talk about them right now." She turned towards James and whispered, "I'm going to kiss you in a second."
James barely even heard her and had little time to react as Lily leaned toward him and gently placed her lips on his.
He pulled away, "Lily…you're upset, don't do this. You don't know what you're doing."
She frowned, "I'm not that upset. I know I want to be a perfect girlfriend, but I also know I want to kiss you, and I know I like to kiss you."
"But what about Sirius? What about all that stuff you said to me about how you didn't want to mess things up?" James questioned, a thoroughly perplexed look upon his face.
Lily leaned in again and softly kissed his lower lip. "I still feel that way, but…it doesn't feel the same kissing him as it does kissing you."
James put his lips on Lily's forehead. "You're enigmatic, Lily."
"'Enigmatic'?" She asked, raising both eyebrows. She was aiming for the sassy one eyebrow up look, but couldn't raise one without the other.
James stood up, closing his eyes. "My Word-a-Day calendar. I'll see you tomorrow… Don't stay up too late; Sirius likes to be up at five-thirty, opening presents."
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Sorry this took so long, writer's block is a bitch. So there is a lot of mystery and intrigue in this chapter, no? And what is up with Lily? First she doesn't want James, then she does, then she doesn't, and now she does??
Whatever…She's such a silly girl. Ok! On to Thank You's!
Thank you:
Arwenundomneil
r.3.d.3.m.p.t.i.0.n: This chapter is dedicated to you because you are my 100th reviewer and helped me reach that goal a chapter early! Thank you! I hope you enjoyed your chapter!!
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And thank you to everyone for helping me reach 100 reviews on my 8th chapter! That was amazing!
Alright…15 more reviews for another chapter! Ta!