Turning Point

'How can it be that my life has taken such a turn?' James thought, staring at the table. It was made of ash and the grain was a pale brown on the creamy wood. He traced a loop with his finger.

'And at that,' he thought with a sigh, 'a turn for the worst. For so much worse. How can this happen? To me? I thought I was happy, life was ahead of me…

'And now the most evil and destructive wizard ever to hold a wand wants me and my family. Dead. How can this have happened?'

"James," she whispered. He closed his eyes. Her voice was like satin and pearls, her hand was on his shoulder. Through the thin veil of cloth that made up his shirt James could feel the hard coolness of her wedding ring. Long hands. Slender fingers, straight with perfect almond-shaped nails; one of which curved slightly inwards as a result of an accident as a child.

He worshipped her. He always had done. She was a goddess, a myth, wrapped in silk and surrounded by flowers. But she was his. A goddess on earth. Simple and kind, sometimes angry, sometimes sad; a real, live, beautiful, human goddess. Perfection personified. Her and the baby that she carried. Their baby. The swell of her stomach made her glow. To be cut down at her most dazzling…he couldn't let it happen.

He gripped tightly at the hand resting on his shoulder. She pulled away, gently, of course.

"James, please," she said, louder this time. "Stop fretting. Stop this."

"But how can I, Lily? How?" he looked up. Saw that long hand on her stomach. He began to rise. "Here…"

The hand jumped to his shoulder and pushed him down. "I'm fine," she said with a soft smile. "But I know you're not. Please don't do this, James. Dumbledore's trying his hardest, he's doing all he can, all–"

"I can't do it, Lily. I just…can't. I can't stop thinking about him, watching us. I can't get these images out of my head. It's you, and the baby, you're-"

She cut him off, placing a finger against his lips. She knelt down carefully and took his head in her hands. She began to smooth down his hair.

"Don't think about it. We have other things to worry about. Dumbledore's keeping us safe, Remus is working as hard as he can, Peter's trying his best…James, Sirius wants to be our Secret Keeper."

It was the first time James had heard this news. "He wants to do what?"

Lily sighed. "You know that somebody has to."

"Yes, but not Sirius! No," he shook his head, "no. Not Padfoot. He can't. I won't let him."

"It's his choice, James. You must know how important you are to him. He'd rather die than see you hurt. That goes for your family as well."

"But –"

"Shhhhh." She ran her cool hands over his face and kissed his eyelids. "Don't. Think about it. Okay? Think about our baby. It won't be long now, James, I can feel it." She took hold of his hands and placed them on her stomach. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, as close as possible. She clung to him, unaware of his tears until they ran down her back.

"G'night, Peter," Sirius mumbled.

Remus closed the door on their friend and joined Sirius on the sofa.

"Have another beer, Moony, old pal. Ol' buddy, ol' pal…"

Remus leaned to one side and took the bottle of beer from Sirius' hands. He tipped the tinted container sideways. Almost empty. Around a third of it left. He cast his eye around the room. Counted six empty bottles. Only two of them were his. There was another bottle in the kitchen, he knew. Firewhiskey. That was probably half empty as well. He took a swig and gave Sirius a meaningful look.

"I think you'd better stop before you're completely incapacitated," he said with a raised eyebrow.

"But that's the entire point, Remus. Why drink if not to be completely…"

"Useless, of course." Typical Sirius logic. "Come on, Padfoot, get a grip. This isn't the time to get drunk."

"Why not?"

"Because you're needed." Sirius looked at him blankly. Remus shook his head and swallowed the rest of the beer in the bottle. It was bitter on his tongue and the fizziness made him shudder. "I'm making you some coffee."

He gathered up the empty bottles and carried them into the kitchen where he hid the unopened ones in a cupboard. He set about making coffee the Muggle way and headed to the fridge. The smell of rotten vegetables hit him immediately. Sirius never would change. Holding his breath, he grabbed a bottle of milk and hoped for the best as he poured it into the mug. Then he picked it up and took it into the living room.

Sirius was curled up on the sofa, steel grey eyes staring out ahead of him. One hand was hugging his knees tightly, and the other was coiling a piece of dark hair absent-mindedly. Remus put the coffee down on the table with a thump. Sirius blinked but ignored it.

Seating himself heavily, Remus sighed. "Look, Sirius, I know this is terrible. It's horrendous. It's…"

"Shit," Sirius said blankly.

"Yes, that's true. But, look, you need your wits about you. Drinking beer and firewhiskey, getting drunk, ignoring owls, it's not helping anyone. Least of all you. And," he sighed, "and if you want to be Lily and James's Secret Keeper you need to be in a fit state of mind."

Sirius shook his head and looked into Remus' clear eyes. "Bloody hell, Moony," he whispered.

"I know," said Remus. "Drink your coffee."

He watched as Sirius sipped, seeing the warmth come back into his eyes, the limbs loosening. Then he took the mug away and leaned forward to place it on the table. A space had been cleared earlier in the night amongst the piles of paper and magazines and now there was enough space for three bottles, or a mug.

When he sat up again, Sirius' hand was still on his arm. He went to push it away but at that moment he saw Sirius' eyes. Sometimes people make you stop and stare. Remus couldn't move. Even if he had wanted to. Which he found that he didn't as he parted his lips when Sirius kissed him. He didn't even mind when Sirius' other hand found it's way under his shirt. In fact, he liked it even better when reciprocating and leaning into the warmth of the other body.

Then it stopped. Sirius pulled away, breathing deeply, steel still in his eyes. Remus sighed and licked his lips.

"Bloody hell, Padfoot," he said.

Peter never Apparated. He didn't feel that he could trust himself, and especially not after he'd been drinking, no matter how little he'd had. You heard so many stories about mistakes during Apparation, especially working, as he did, in the Ministry of Magic. The Ministry had introduced him to a lot of interesting things. Including Voldemort.

Pettigrew winced. The Dark Mark on his forearm burned as brightly as the headlights of the car he was driving. He'd been told the burning wouldn't last long.

After all, the Mark was still new.

Remus found that Sirius liked to touch his skin. The next morning, after spending a night on Sirius' sofa, he was woken by the heaviness of a warm body beside him. Remus smiled and rolled over, lying on top of Sirius and enjoying the deep kiss he was being given. Sirius began to remove his shirt and Remus noticed that he lingered on the curve if Remus' waist, where his ribcage curved down to meet his hips. Sirius' hands were warm and soft and Remus found that he rather liked this as well.

He hadn't given it much though before, didn't want to analyse, didn't see the point. It was an interesting turn of events, that was for sure, but it didn't mean that he wanted to pick it apart into tiny pieces. He was more that happy to focus on the way that Sirius tasted, or the way that his skin felt on his own.

He broke the kiss and raised his head to look at Sirius properly.

"Morning, Padfoot," he smiled.

"Do you want some breakfast?" Sirius asked. "There might be some bread in the kitchen if you're lucky."

Remus only laughed. Some things never change.

James was pacing and biting his nails. He wasn't allowed in. He didn't want to call anybody else in, but he was still as worried as hell. 'There's no point,' he thought sternly. 'Not yet anyway.'

He flung himself down into a chair and listened for any hint of a noise. A cry, anything. Anything was better than this. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers. He imagined how he must look. Another young, expectant, paranoid father. Tapping his feet and trying to think of other things. Um…did he lock the back door? The front door? The car door?

James stood up and resumed his pacing. At least when he walked past he could try to look casually through the window. Nonchalant. Not worried. Calm. Just…interested.

Oh, come on! Something must have happened that they could tell him about!

He was on his route away from the door when it opened very quietly. So quietly he didn't even notice. Get to the end of the corridor and then turn around. Calm. Collected.

"James Potter?"

James whirled around and leaped up the corridor. "Yes?" he said breathlessly, eyes wide.

The medi-witch smiled. "This way," she said, holding the door open for him. James took a very deep breath and followed.

And there was Lily, lying on a bed, tucked up to her waist, arms folded and smiling, no, beaming, at him. Her face was still flushed and her red hair mussed, but she was still beautiful to James. More beautiful still was the tiny bundle in her arms, all soft white skin and crinkly eyes. James gasped and wrapped his arms around Lily.

"Careful," she said. "He's fragile."

"I know," James said, looking at his son. "Our own son." He looked back at Lily. "Thank you. He's beautiful. As lovely as his mother."

"Funny," Lily replied, "we thought he took after his father."

The medi-witch took the boy from Lily's arms. "Lily needs her rest," she said. "But you can hold him if you like."

James took his son in his arms as carefully as he dared. He'd waited for this moment for so long. It was every bit and so much more perfect that he'd imagined it to be. And then Lily smiled back at him.

"Wormtail, we have to talk."

Peter sat down opposite Sirius, who had Apparated at his front door only moments before, demanding entrance and looking rather worried. He remained silent as Sirius took a deep breath.

"I don't know if we'd told you yet but…it was my plan to become James and Lily's Secret Keeper."

Wormtail hadn't been told. "Who did know?" he asked.

"Well…I told Lily." That would explain it. Lily didn't speak to Peter very often. "I didn't want to tell James straight away. I knew he'd make a fuss and try to stop me. You know Prongs. Oh, and, um, as of last night; Remus knows as well."

"OK."

"And we know that the baby will be born soon, so we need to work quickly." Peter nodded. "I think I've come to a decision."

"Padfoot, you don't have to tell me –"

"I want you to be Lily and James's Secret Keeper."

Peter stared. His eyes were wide with shock and his heart was pounding. He clenched his palms and felt them get wet with excitement. He tried to remain composed as his throat grew dry and he knew that he was shuffling along his seat until he was almost perched on the end of the cushion.

Sirius seemed to have taken this reaction as disbelief.

"I know it sounds odd, but I just think that it would work. I mean, if you really think about it, it's kind of obvious that if…someone, wanted to find out about James and Lily; all they'd have to do is track me down. It just seems…"

"Right," Peter mumbled.

"Yeah, it works, you know? And, well, anyway, I know I said I'd be prepared to do anything – and I am! But it's just … it's Remus. I don't want to have to put him in any danger, not –"

"Padfoot, I get it. I'll do it."

"You will?" Sirius' grey eyes widened.

"Yes. It makes perfect sense," Peter nodded, trying to keep the excitement out of his trembling voice. "When?"

"It's supposed to be done secretly. Say, in the next week or so. I'll tell you where another time. Just remember, keep it secret. You can't tell anyone that it's changed."

Peter nodded. "I agree. And I won't." He stood up, rubbing the palms of his hands on his trousers. "Didn't you have somewhere you wanted to be?"

Sirius nodded. "Thanks, Peter. I won't forget this."

Remus' house. Sirius knocked on the door and Lupin opened it, pulling him through the doorway and into a hungry kiss. Sirius reached to close the door and let Remus push him up against it. He wrapped his arms around Lupin and tugged him closer. When Remus broke the kiss, Sirius nudged him backwards and gestured up the stairs.

Peter shivered as he joined the group. With his robes around him he knew that he could not be seen, and so he huddled further into them.

Suddenly, the Mark began to burn.

Remus sank down onto the bed, pulling Sirius with him. He was smiling and Sirius pulled away.

"What is it?"

"I wasn't expecting this," Remus grinned.

"Well, I'm all yours tonight," Sirius said. "I've sorted everything out and now the only thing to do..." He leaned in and wiped the grin off Remus' face.

Peter knelt with the others, averting his eyes and trying his best to ignore the fresh burn of the Mark. Slowly, he forced the pain out of his head and remembered what he had been told. He began to smile.

Remus pulled off his shirt and threw it behind him to rest with their discarded robes. He began to undo the buttons on Sirius' trousers. He was moving fast, as was Sirius, making light work of clothing and showing his want for Sirius by pressing his lips to the other mans' with meaning. He pushed Sirius down onto the bed.

"I sense...something."

The voice was vile. Disgusting. Rasping and rough, cold and cruel. Peter shuddered. He saw out of the corner of his eye the swish of robes and the tall presence of the Dark Lord in front of him. He dared to lift his head.

Sirius grinned and his eyes flashed hungrily as Remus pushed him into the bed with all his strength. He gasped as Remus' hand ran along his body.

"I've been waiting for this," he whispered., eyelids fluttering at the touches.

"Tell me what you know, Pettigrew."

Sirius grabbed hold of Remus' long hair and pulled him down into a rough kiss. Remus lay on top of him, inside him, eyes dancing with mischief and darkened with lust. He moved quickly, savouring the way Sirius' body arched beneath him and how his gasps and moans drove Remus further on.

Peter told. He told how he did not know where the Potters were now, but once the Fidelius charm had been performed, he would know their secret whereabouts. He told how he had been trusted with this task, how Black had no idea, how soon it would be before he could tell his Lord everything.

"The child is born soon, my Lord," he whimpered. He told how he would know by then.

The orgasm pulsed through Sirius, travelling in wide waves from his groin to his brain where he lost all control and cawed Remus' name into the dark air. Remus threw his head back, face twisted into a beautiful grimace of pleasure as his release came.

Lord Voldemort saw that it was good.

Remus lay beside Sirius, eyes closed, legs weak and breathless in the aftermath of their climax. He felt Sirius' hands on his body, hot and gentle. A kiss on each eyelid. He could feel the smile on Sirius' lips.

"Soon we shall know where the boy from the Prophecy is. Soon we shall be able to destroy him. Pettigrew, you must tell me all you know. Everything you can about them."

"Have I not told you enough already, my Lord?"

"You will do as I say, Pettigrew! Not as you see fit. Your loyalty lies with me now. Disobey me and you shall pay dearly."

"Yes, my Lord." Pettigrew sank back down to the ground, shaking with fear and with anticipation. He bowed low, bending his head to the ground, hailing his master; who would kill what he held dear.

It was cold when Remus awoke. He snuggled into Sirius and the man's arms found their way around him, warming him. It was morning and Sirius was lying naked in Remus Lupin's bed. The smell of sex was still in the air and the two men were huddled in one corner, grasping each other with tired hands, both still heavy with sleep.

Remus pulled back and stretched, arching his back and spreading his arms behind his head. Sirius reached over and kissed him chastely so Remus lowered his arms and draped them over his friend's naked shoulders and around his chest. He pinched the skin he found and Sirius planted small kisses on his chest.

An owl pecked at the glass.

The pair turned their heads. Sirius groaned and rolled over to ignore it. Remus climbed off the bed, rubbing his eyes. He swiped a robe from the floor and wrapped it around himself before going to the window. Apparantly Sirius had been watching.

"The owl doesn't care if you're naked, Moony," he said sarcastically.

Remus ignored him and opened the window. A burst of cold air entered the room as the owl presented its message. Remus untied the parchment and the owl fluttered into the room, pecking at Sirius who had now taken cover beneath the sheets. Remus could hear muffled swearing and turned to laugh. Sirius had hidden himself beneath the sheets, head covered but one tantalizing patch of skin left bare. Sirius curled himself up further and Remus fought the urge to discard the note and simply jump back into the bed to kiss Sirius senseless. But conscience had the better of him and he opened the note.

'For Christ's sake, Moony, I haven't a bloody clue where you are...I've been shouting your name into fireplaces for God knows how long...

Look, Lily had the baby last night. Get over here now. You know where, right?

And if you see Sirius, tell him the same. Lazy git.

I'm a dad!'

"Piss off, you stupid thing!" Sirius resurfaced and shoved the owl moodily. It flapped away and Sirius sat up. "That's it. Fly away." He turned to Remus. "What is it?"

Remus climbed onto the bed. "It's from James," he said, handing the note over. "You'll never guess."

Sirius' grey eyes moved speedily over the note. He reached the second line and let out a screech. He carried on reading. Then he threw the note to one side and grabbed Remus roughly, shouting and laughing and kissing him all over his face.

Remus laughed and pushed Sirius away to hold him at arm's length.

"I guess we'd better get going then," he said.

Peter drove to the hospital. He knew that he would be late. He tried to forget, or at least to come up with an excuse. Still, he should prepare himself for not seeing Lily and James. Ever again.

Lord Voldemort could not be disobeyed. It would cost his life. At the thought of the Dark Lord Peter let out a small cry and his hand flew to his forearm. The mark had burnt worse than before since last night. Voldemort was happy and the pain that he cause allowed Peter to forget his own guilt.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Sirius let go of Remus' hand and Remus pushed open the door.

Lily was smiling again. James was holding the baby as though it were made of glass. Peter stood like a statue on the other side of the bed, staring at the child.

James looked up with an expression of pure pride on his face and then handed the baby back to Lily. He rant to Sirius and Lupin who hugged him proudly.

"You bugger!" he cried. "Where have you been? Even Wormtail got here before you and he drove!"

The three pulled away from each other.

"Never mind that, Prongs," said Sirius, making for the bed.

"Yeah," Remus said, patting James on the back. "That's not important." He copied Sirius and sat on the other side of the bed, next to Lily. "There's someone far better-looking to pay attention to now."

"And he doesn't mean me," Sirius winked. He leaned down and began cooing at the baby. "Hello, you!" he said, pouting and widening his eyes. "I'm you favourite Uncle Sirius! Daddy's not happy with me right now. But Daddy' a silly – "

Remus cleared his throat and addressed Lily with perfect timing. "He's beautiful. And so are you. What's his name?"

"Harry," Lily grinned. "And I don't feel the least bit beautiful but thank you anyway, Remus, you charmer."

"Ever the favourite," Lupin grinned. "Hello Harry," he said, stroking the baby's hand. "Haven't you got tiny fingers!"

Lily started laughing. "Look at these two," she said to James.

"Daft gits," James stated. He walked over to Sirius, tugging Peter with him as he went. He clapped a hand onto Sirius' shoulder. "Thank you for…your offer."

Sirius looked up, worried. He saw Peter grinning slyly out of the corner of his eye. "No problem," he managed. He stood up. "Now, sit with your wife."

James say beside Lily, arms protectively around her and their son. Sirius joined Remus, who slipped his hand into Black's own the moment that he sat down. They smiled together. Peter stayed to one side, watching as all eyes turned inwards to the child. That he had the key to. This was the point in which he could have given it all up. Only he could protect them now. But it would cost him his life. He looked at the group, his closest friends since the age of eleven. And he made his decision.