Part V
Ten days later, Sam was at home. She had only stayed in the hospital for two nights, and had been at home for the past seven. People from the ER had sent get well cards and flowers, but she didn't feel like looking at them. Luka had sent Alex to stay with Oscar, his friend from school, a week ago. But for the past few days, he had called, asking when he could come home. He had a point; he had to come home eventually. Sam had been seen by a psychiatrist. They had talked, and he said that Sam was doing as well as can be expected. The emotional wounds from this would take a long time to heal. Luka had gotten up early to make Sam breakfast to eat in bed. It was French toast and eggs, her favorite. Sam had asked Luka to go back to his own place since she had gotten home. She stayed holed up in her bedroom all the time, and that worried Luka. Alex had only seen Sam once in 2 weeks, when he was getting clothes for staying at Oscar's. Sam didn't want to say something she'd regret to Alex, so she just told him she loved him and that she would see him soon. He was confused, his mom never turned away from him before, but she did say that she would see him soon, so Alex didn't think into it too much.

When the eggs were done, Luka scraped them onto the plate with the French toast, and knocked gently on Sam's bedroom door.

"Sam, I have some French toast for you to eat. Please open the door."

He had a pleading tone in his voice, and he didn't just want her to open the door in the literal sense. He wanted her to reopen the door of communication. They had been doing pretty good on that front, with only a few mishaps. Just then the door opened and Luka walked into to see Sam standing at the window. Her eyes were fixed on the people talking on the sidewalk across the street. Luka went up behind her and kissed her neck.

"Hi. Are you ready to eat?"

"No, I can't eat, I can't go out, I-I can barely breathe. Things are really bad Luka. I don't know how else to say it."

Luka was stunned. He didn't expect Sam to talk to him at all, let alone really talk about what's going on with her, like she just did.

"Just come and tell me whatever is on your mind."

"Luka, I was really scared when I was with that guy…that rapist. I thought he would kill me. But since he decided to rape me instead, I wish I had died. I can't go through this…again."

"What do you mean…again?"

Sam turned and spoke right to him, looking him dead in the eyes.

"It's really earth-shaking, like when I first found out I was pregnant at 15. I wasn't raped, but it was really hard to deal with. But after that, my family, just sort of, I don't know, checked out of reality. It's like we lived in a plastic bubble. My mom just cried all the time. She was so disappointed. My dad didn't talk to anyone, he just worked on his cars in the driveway, and nobody could talk to him. He wanted to kill me and Steve. My older sister stayed in her room, in disbelief that I was that dumb, and my younger sister was just caught in the middle of all the confusion. I was just out of the house I much as possible. I hung out with Steve. I guess we all could have handled it better, but we didn't. Every time I was at home, my parents never looked at me or talked to me. They acted like I was invisible. I know, even though they never said it, they thought that if they had done something differently, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant. It was my fault that my family fell apart, and now I'm to blame if we fall apart. I know I didn't ask to be raped, but I just keep thinking that I could have stopped it, somehow. "

Luka wrapped her up in a hug.

"Hey, there's no reason why this would make us fall apart. I don't love you any less."

Sam laughed at that. "Oh yeah, will you still say that after I tell you I'm pregnant?"

Luka looked at her and then fell back on the bed in shock.

"You're…what?"