Part VI

"I'm pregnant."

Sam just stood there, waiting several minutes for him to say something. Finally Luka had the strength to talk.

"Is there any possibility that you were pregnant before this happened?" "Not really. It's his baby. I know they gave me meds in the hospital to try to prevent this from happening, but nothing is 100 effective."

Luka was in shock. He got up and grabbed his coat. "I'm going out. I'll be back later."

It was now pouring outside, but Luka didn't seem to care. Sam went back to the window in time to see Luka walking aimlessly down the street. She wanted to stop him; she wanted to hear that he still loved her. She wanted him to know that she still loved him.

"He needs some time. He gave me two weeks, I can give him some time and space now."

Luka was in a daze as he walked. He didn't know where he was going, or what he was doing. It had only been 5 years since his entire family was killed. He wasn't at all sure that he was ready to marry Sam and be a permanent father to Alex and a new baby. And this child wasn't even his. Luka knew that it wasn't Sam's fault, but it bothered him that he would be fathering two kids of Sam's that he had no biological ties to.

"Why this, why now, why us? DAMNIT!"

Luka didn't see someone watching him from across the street. She stood there in the rain, seeing his pain, almost feeling it radiate from him.

"Luka! What the hell are you doing!"

He turned and saw Abby, one of his closest and dearest friends. She would understand, maybe even help. He knew she would be there for him, and he didn't know what else to do. She crossed the street to talk to him.

"Why are you standing in the rain screaming?"

"I-I need-can we talk somewhere. I have to confide in someone."

"Luka, you know you can always tell me whatever's on your mind. Come on, let's go in where it's warm and dry."

A bit later, they were sitting at Ike's, talking. He had just told her, and she couldn't think of anything to say that would mean anything.

"What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. It's all so scary. I wasn't even thinking about us having a baby together yet. I was sort of okay with it just being the two of us and Alex. But I figured we would talk after we married and spent some time together."

He brought his voice down to a whisper. "But the worst part is it's not my baby. It's the offspring of the person I hate most in life, the person who hurt the woman I love, the person who has just furthered the destruction of our life, the person who is making me contemplate leaving her."

Abby was speechless at the sound of that. She was speaking at a whisper tone as well.

"Oh, Luka! You know you love her and Alex way too much to walk away. She needs you, now more then ever. So what if it's not your kid? Alex isn't yours, but you still love him to death, and he's crazy about you. You don't mean that last thing that you said, and I know it. You and I know each other really well, and I know you won't care that it's not yours. Not once you look at that beautiful face and know that you get to spend the next 20 years shaping this impressionable little person. I don't even have kids, but I know that's what makes it all worth it."

Luka smiled and stroked Abby's fingers with his own. "You are amazing, you know that? I didn't know what to do or where to turn, and in 10 minutes you put everything into prospective. Thank you Abby."

He kissed her cheek and got up to leave. "Hey before I go, can you come to Sam's place tonight, maybe have heart-to-heart with her?" "Yeah, Luka. I'd love to."

Later that evening Sam was up and around in the apartment. Sam and Luka planned to talk things out and then bring Alex home in the morning. They seemed better, talking, being open. Working together to figure out what to do. Sam wanted to get therapy to help her get through her post-rape depression and anxiety.

"Luka, I love you and I love Alex, and I love our life together, but I don't know if I really want to raise another child. Especially when I think about how that child came to be. I mean this is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to be, and this kid would be a constant reminder of that. I'm not sure I would be able to get past it. That's why I'm so eager to get counseling. I want us to make the best decision for us and this baby."

Luka hugged her and rubbed her back gingerly.

"I know," he kissed her cheek. "I know."

They continued to hold each other until there was a knock at the door.

"That's Abby. I thought she may be able to help us with our huge decision."

Sam nodded in agreement, and got up to open the door. "Hi Abby."

Abby smiled and hugged same in a friendly, caring way. "Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah, I'm much better then I was yesterday and even better then I was this morning. It's true, not talking makes things seem so much worse then they are. Who is this with you?"

"This is Dr. Nelson, from pysch at the hospital. When I was doing my pysch rotation back in the spring, we became friends, and he's doing me a friendly favor."

Sam smiled, and Abby gave a confessing and embarrassed blush to what her relationship with Nelson really was. Sam gave her a friendly punch in the arm. "Friends, huh? Well at least you have broadened your romantic horizons to outside the ER." They laughed and Abby and Dr. Nelson came in and sat down.