By Spectra16
Disclaimer: I don't own Splinter Cell. Der. I also do not own the idea for the last poem "Your Chi Is Putting A Glare On My TV". I got that idea from the Sam Fisher blog on the Splinter Cell website, where he was talking about Sarah using feng shui. It was really funny. Go read it.
A/N: These are a collection of poems that "Sam Fisher" wrote, or at least, they are in his point of view. I think everyone should know the soft side of Sam Fisher.
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"The Sun Was Not My Friend Today"
The sun was not my friend today,
Because it makes things easier to see.
I have to sneak around in the shadows.
It's hard to do when everyone notices me.
"Terrorists Are Dumb"
They're those idiots that stand around
Talking about Prince of Persian
Instead of patrolling their base grounds.
"Everyone Gets Credit Except Me"
When there's a crisis,
They tell Third Echelon.
I solve the problem,
Fix what's wrong.
But the U.S. can't know
That I was behind it all.
Everyone gets credit
Except who they call.
"Breaking NecksIs Fun"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Breaking necks are fun,
And it's easy to do.
"World Domination Is Getting Me Down"
Everyone thinks
They are invincible and in control.
But little do they know
That world domination is not the way to go.
They try to do it by guerilla bands,
Launching missiles,
And taking control of other lands.
But no one ever thinks about
Not trying at all.
"Stepping Stealthy"
Step, step, step, step, smack.
Step, step, step, step, whack.
Step, step, step, step, hack.
Step, step, step, step, crack.
Step, step, trip, oh crap.
"This One Time…"
This one time, in the middle of all out fight,
A guerrilla yelled to me and told me to put my weapon down.
So I asked him what he was smoking,
And then he passed some around.
"Your Chi Is Putting A Glare On My TV"
Sarah, your chi
Is putting a glare on my TV.
I hate to admit that, I swear.
This new furniture arrangement,
Is putting greys in my hair.
When I watch the football game,
I can barely make out the score,
If this energy flow doesn't work within two weeks,
Your new chi is going on the door.