"all that I've got" by sam carter oneill wagtail
chapter 4: remorse
Sam lay in bed, tossing and turning, with loud, sonorous, reverberating snores being emitted from Pat, who lay beside her. Sam looked at the clock—12:47am. It was the night before their departure to Colorado for the funeral of George Hammond. And for some reason, Sam couldn't sleep—couldn't keep her eyes closed—for the life of her. She cut herself slack, after all the man who had been her boss for… how long was it? Eight years? had just died. It was completely natural for her to…
Oh that was it! She couldn't stand the snoring any longer. She lifted the blankets off and stepped onto the carpeted floor, careful not to awaken Pat. She left the bedroom and tiptoed down the hall, pausing for a few moments at Jake's bedroom door to make sure he was asleep. She swore this child took after his father, all he did was sleep!
She made her way into the den and closed the door. Sam flipped on the television; this room was far enough from the bedrooms that the sound wouldn't wake up the rest of her family… besides, they slept like the dead!
Sam flipped through the tv guide, nothing really appealing to her—late night tv was nothing but infomercials, "adult" entertainment, and reruns of old shows. She settled for the news as her thoughts returned to the approaching day…
It was to be her first return to Colorado Springs since her marriage to Pat three years ago. She'd left the SGC once it had gone public… it was this day (well, now it had been yesterday) five years ago. A new president had just taken office and he felt that it was time the people of Earth know what was going on, what was being done to protect them—a fair enough decision.
When Sam looked up at the illuminated television screen, they were doing a segment on the SGC. They had come a long way in five years—there were thirty-five SG teams, which was far more than was really necessary, and there were many more people working on the project. Their headquarters was still in Cheyenne Mountain but the gate itself was in D.C. . They were also working on actually building a gate... word on the street had it they were making excellent progress. Maybe they'd have been done by now if they'd had Sam work on it. She'd been offered countless times to still be a part of the Stargate, But she'd rejected the offer. She could never…
Then she saw it. She was snapped out of her thoughts by a familiar picture on the television screen… SG1.
SG1 was the most famous SG team ever. There had been movies, documentaries, a television show, and even a clothing line for children starring SG1.
But it wasn't until that moment, when she had seen the picture of her old team that she realized exactly what she was so pensive, anxious, nervous, down-right antsy about:
Would she be seeing Jack O'Neill?
She couldn't figure out whether she hoped she did or if she hoped she didn't see him, but either way... there had been things left unsaid. She hadn't seen him in five years. She hadn't seen him since…
"I WON'T DO IT TO YOU, TOO!"
The hurt in his eyes was more intense than any intensity she'd seen in her life. He was begging her, pleading her with every fiber of his being…
Sam pressed the power button on the remote control, put her head in her arm, and closed her eyes. A million thoughts were racing through her mind. One emotion: remorse… when suddenly,
Samantha Carter was running furiously to the stargate. She was using every ounce of strength she had to propel her tired body forward. Her commanding officer was on her left…
A/N: Another short chapter. The next one should be a little longer, I'll post it on Thursday or Friday. Thank you so much for your support. MWAH! XOXO