"all that i've got" by sam carter o'neill wagtail
chapter 6: smile like you mean it
"Hello? Earth to Sam? Come in, Sam!"
Sam was snapped out of her reverie by her husband's calling her.
"What would you like to drink, ma'am?" the stewardess asked her.
"Uh… water please," She had been staring into space for the past… God knew how long. Probably since she woke up this morning and remembered having the damned dream again.
"Sam, honey, is there something bothering you?"
"Well it couldn't be that we're going to my old CO's funeral, perhaps," she bit back sarcastically.
He gave her a look that seemed to say, "sorry for caring."
"I'm sorry, Pat. Really I am. I'm just a little… stressed out, that's all. "
"It's okay. I understand. Actually, I can't begin to comprehend what you're going through, I—"
He was interrupted when Sam caught his lips in hers. "I love you," she said.
"I love you too, sweetheart. Get some rest. You hardly slept at all last night."
She nodded and with another quick peck on the lips, turned to look out the window beside which she sat.
They were currently on a jet in first class headed to Colorado Springs. Pat was looking after Jake; it was Jack-- Jake's first flight and he wasn't taking to the sky all that well. They were due to arrive in Colorado in about three hours and Sam needed sleep. Recently she would wake up more tired than before she slept. Again and still, she blamed the dream.
She stared out into the fluffy white clouds and the clear blue horizon as she thought pensively about the day ahead. She kept running different scenarios over and over in her head, trying to find the best one for if he was there. She had decided, though, that for the sake of a good night's sleep, she needed to confront him. She prayed to whatever god would listen that he had a wife and a family or at least a girlfriend.
She prayed that he'd gotten over her, that he'd forgotten all about her, and that he'd forgotten how she hurt him.
"PLEASE, SAM! I love you more than life itself! I need you here! God, Sam, NO! If you leave now you'll—"
and that had been all she could bear to hear. Through her tears, she forced herself out of the life of the one and only man she truly lov—
No, not the only man… anymore.
She checked her hair in the mirror of her compact. Samantha Kerry was sitting in her rental car in the parking lot of Frank's Funeral Home. She looked at the clock on the dashboard—6:54. Six minutes. Six minutes and she would see friends and honorary family whom she hadn't seen since Cassie's wedding to Michael Sullivan three years ago. She was nervous, and she had definitely made a point of wearing waterproof mascara. Hell, she wasn't in the Air Force anymore.
She put on her sunglasses and slowly stepped out of the car. She locked the doors with the automatic button on the key chain and stuffed it into her purse.
Sam was alone; Patrick had stayed at the hotel because Jake wasn't feeling very well after the long plane ride.
She carefully examined the parking lot in hopes of finding a familiar car, but found none. Slowly, she made her way to the entrance and opened the door to the funeral home. It smelled like fresh flowers and embalming liquid. She fought the urge to retch at the smell that caught in her throat. She felt people staring at her. Her nerves and the smell of death made her want desperately to run outside and vomit. But like the soldier she had been for so long, she kept going.
She smiled when she turned to see people gazing and smiling at her. But she didn't have any clue as to who they were. But they knew her. They all did.
Her eyes darted all over the room, in search of familiar faces. She definitely saw Teal'c. She also noticed Cassie and her husband, and a few men from the base. They had all changed so much. Well, matured anyhow. Especially Cassie. She was a woman now, there was no doubt in her mind about that.
But she saw no Jack O'Neill. Typical. Absolutely typical for him to be late for the wake of…. She really had been gone for too long. It wasn't like Jack O'Neill at all.
"Sam!"
She turned around at the call of her name, "Daniel!" She hurried to embrace her friend.
"My God, Sam. It's been so long."
"Too long," she clarified.
He pulled back to get a good look at her. "You've only grown more beautiful!"
She smiled, wiping away tears from her eyes. She eyed Daniel, too. He was so sophisticated looking. He was wearing a perfectly-tailored black suit, his hair was trimmed, his new glasses made him look very stylish and smart, and his facial hair formed a flawless…. goatee… thing that suited his face perfectly. "And you, more handsome," she complimented.
"Where's… Pat?" he asked.
"Taking care of Jake. It was his first flight, so… yeah… I'm sorry. It just feels so…"
"I know," Daniel smiled. "Happy five year anniversary…"
"Anniversary of being apart? Happy? No, Happy reunion."