A/N: WOW! It's been a looong time. Well, if anyone is still interested (thank you my 5 lovely reviewers!) or has some extra time on their hands, I wouldn't mind if you gave it a read J. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Matrix characters like Trinity, Morpheus, Neo.. Bloobity blah.

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The first thing I remember was waking up in this cold, disgusting GOO. EW. There were also these…. Bolts? on the back of my head…. And where were my clothes? Oh yikes, I thought to myself, This hairless, Nazi look is definitely something I'll never get used to.

I looked around and saw what seemed like an infinite amount of pods which were identical to the one I was in. Wow, there has to be like, millions and millions of people in these things…. There's no way I could possibly recogn--"

"Holy Shit!" It couldn't be. "Uncle Dave?" Yup, there he was, just kinda layin' there in his pod right by mine.

"Uh….Hey Dave?….about those sixty bucks I owe ya……." Hell; unconscious or not, it was worth a shot.

"Well, it's kind of in this holding pattern right now, and umm……… Ah, I guess it doesn't really matter anyways, me being……..here and all, and….you know….."

My 'chat' was then interrupted by those gnarly looking machines paying me a visit. "See ya!" I shouted to good ol' Dave as I was detached and freed from my pod.

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"Wow, this 'real world' really redefines the word haggard" I muttered to myself in my prison cell of a room. Well, at least this Nebuchadnezzar ship or whatever looked like crap. Jesus Christ, you'd think that a team who could manipulate the entire realm of the matrix could maybe…….I don't know, maybe paint the walls or something. Invest in some Venetian blinds. Jeez.

Ugh, speaking of crap, look at myself. Good thing I haven't seen any of these people before, because this whole 'potato-sack-for-clothes' look I'm sporting isn't exactly the most flattering.

Suddenly I heard a knock at my door. "You better get out here, food's ready" I heard Trinity shout from the other side. Oh no…., I remembered, if the food's anything like the movie, that means it's…

"EW! I'm not eating this shit!" I shouted at the table, when I was met with a bowl of a gray matter that resembled watery oatmeal mixed with cement.

"This has all the nutrients and vitamins your body needs." I was reminded by my less whiny counterpart, Tank.

"Uhh.." I said while slowly walking away, "I don't think anything that looks like it's used to make sidewalks could be considered healthy. But uh, call me when you're about to do that kung-fu stuff, I'll be getting some shut-eye in the other room."

Wow, I'm really a prick. I thought to myself as I settled in bed. Why would they even put up with this?

I guess they obviously they chose me for a reason…and believe me, I'm dying to know why as much as you are.

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Whoa, you made it all the way down here? Congratulations, you're awesome. Please send a review my way if you can, it's definitely been awhile since I've done this:-) Thanks a lot!