"You stupid idiot" John shouted at Randy from the jail cells only chair " You stupid,stupid idiot, why did you say guilty?"
Randy sat up from upon the top bunk of the bed to face John "I was drunk" Randy replied
"But i was about to get us off with my great defense speech" John said
"You mean going up to the jury and saying Please let us go, go on, ill give you five bucks and a snog" Randy replied "They had to pull you off that young air hostess in the back row. It was only then that the judge added sexual assault to the list of charges"
"Well it worth it" John said
"What getting a policeman's boot rammed violently at your testticals?"
"Well it was the first snog i had in over 2 years" John said
"Whats new" Randy replied "Anyway, we were doomed to be here ever since you said you were going to conduct our defense"
"I had no choice, there were no lawyer avalible"
"There went any lawyers avalible because you used our one and only phone call to ring the cones hot line, believing it to be a red hot instant relief sex line" Randy said
"Well i thought cones was another name for breasts" John replied "what were we found guilty off again?
"Murder, attempted murder, blowing up 400LBS of explosives under the anti-terrorism act, destroying a multi million Doller cruise ship along with the crew and passengers, feeling in the only escape boat under the good samaratints act , incitement to riot, tax evasion and mooning the president" Randy replied
"So it's a first offence" John said "the trial wernt fair anyway, i meanhow long did it last?
"Seven minutes" Randy replied
"And how long did we get?"
"Five hundred and sixty seven years" Randy replied
"You wonder why they bother don't you" John said
"What do you mean?" Randy asked
"Only in America would you get such a stupid sentence, any country in the world would just give life, but no America has to force the knife a little deeper"
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH
"What was that" John asked, clearly panicked
"Oh that was just Jon" Randy replied
"Jon?" John asked
"Jon Heidenrich, the psychedelic penis remover, he's working E wing right now" Randy replied
"WHAT" John shouted "Randy were on E wing"
"I know" Randy said laughing
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH
"I guess he's up to cell five right now" Randy said
"Hang on aint we in cell six?" John asked
"Yea" Randy replied
"That means were next" John said panicking
"Yea" Randy replied
"How can you be so calm" John said
"Because my mind is so slow it hasn't accepted the facts yet" Randy replied "ah it just has HEEEELLLLPPPP"
"Randy calm down" John said, then gave Randy a few slaps
"Alright, Alright, im calm" Randy said "Just one thing"
"What" John asked
"This" Randy replied, and punched John in the face
"Ok settled?" John asked
"Settled" Randy replied
"Now we gotta do something before Jon comes round" John said
"I can't think of anything" Randy said
"Now why doesn't that surprise me" John replied
Boom Boom Boom
"He's at the door" John screamed
"What we gonna do" Randy asked
"You go answer it" John said
"Why me" Randy asked
"Cause your stupid one" John replied
"Oh yea i forgot" Randy replied and opened the small window hatch on the door "Hello...oh yes ...uh huh.. ok... ill tell him"
"Was it him?" John asked
"Yes" Randy replied
"Is it bad news?"
"For you it is" Randy replied smiling
"What is it?" John asked
"You see Jon is a messenger for Mr Big" Randy replied
"Whos' Mr Big?" John asked
"He is the man that Jon is afraid of" Randy replied
"What did he want?" John asked
"Well, you remember being escorted to our cell" Randy said
"You mean the running in our boxers with the truncations and all the spit" John replied
"Yes, and do you remember the guy on the second floor shout abuse at you?"
"Yes i do" John replied"
"And do you remember shouting back oi you son of a bitch say one more word and you'll get some of this do you want it"
"Yea" John replied
"Well that was Mr Big"
"What"John shouted, visable scared "oh god what does he want"
"Well he's fallen in love with you" Randy replied, with a slight smirk
"He's what?" John asked
"He said that was the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to him" Randy replied " and he wants to come round later and consummate the relationship" Randy fished as there was another knock on the door
"It's him" John screamed, as Randy opened the door
"It's ok, it's only Jon" Randy said, and was quickly pulled out the cell.
( 3 minutes later)
"Randy your back" John said as randy reentered the cell carrying a small bag
"Yes, i have more news" Randy replied
"What?" John asked
"I have just returned from my "executive" meeting with Mr Big, which is a somewhat modice name for him, i think he should be call Mr Enormas, Anyway he said he was coming in five minutes and wanted you to wear this" Randy replied, and pulled a small checkered dress with a ponytail wig
"Oh my god, what am i gonna do ?" John panicked "Hang on, is it me or are you clothes getting shorter?"
"Im planning an escape" Randy replied " Im secretly mailing my self to a secret destination"
"Where?" John asked
"It's a secret" Randy replied
John just sighed "Forget that, we gotta escape, now what floor are we on" John finished what he was saying and went and grabbed one of the steel poles inside the window, and instantly fell back
"This bar has just come off" John said
"Lets see if more do" Randy said going to the window, and sure enough the other to come off
"Lets go" John said
"But were on the fourth floor" Randy replied
"Stop whining" John said, and jumped out the window
"Oh well" Randy shrugged then followed John out the window.
( 1 Hour Later )
"Finally were home" John said, and clappsed on the sofa
"Look at this" Randy said as he entered the room carrying a news paper "The carnival is in town"
"Sweet" John replied
Finally ive done this, no prize's for guessing what will be next :) anyway plz review
All the crimes they were found guilty of will be explained in later chapters