Escape to Crusade

By Sarge11

Disclaimer: I own nothing, just my planet.

Chapter 6: Roast Lombax and Cazar

The trio, whose names I'm getting tired of repeating, have crash-landed on the planet Crusade. They have been captured again and are being carried to some distant forest.

Ratchet woke up to find himself hanging upside down with his hands and feet tied to a long stick. "Whoa, what happened?"

"Ratchet, you are conscious again." Clank was sitting in a chair carried by a group of tribesmen, looking rather cozy.

"What the hell are you doing up there?" Ratchet asked.

By now they were up in the trees.

The little robot narrowed his eyes a little and looked a little smug. "After you went unconscious, they found me and started bowing and chanting something at me. Apparently they believe me to be some sort of a god."

Ratchet's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "You, a god!" Ratchet burst out laughing, only to receive a sharp poke in the ribs from one of the tribesmen's spears. Ratchet yelped in pain. "Damn, in all the confusion I forgot my rib was broken. Curse you painful reminder!"

By now they had reached the central courtyard of some kind of tree village and hung over some black stones.

Ratchet looked a little worried now. "Hey Clank, what are they doing?"

Clank himself looked like he was about to laugh. "It seems you are going to be the main coarse in a great feast to honor me."

"What!"

The creatures brought out the wood.

All of a sudden, Ratchet had an idea. "Clank, tell them if you do not release us, then you will become angry, and call upon your mighty wrath from the heavens."

Clank spoke up, "But I have no such wrath, how could I possibly-"

"Just do it."

Clank babbled on in some strange tongue.

It didn't work.

"Don't worry Clank, I knew it wouldn't work. Pull out the Tempest and start zapping away until they agree to cut us down."

The wood was down, here came the fire.

Cccccccccssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Where there was once a tribesman was now a smoldering pile of ash. All eyes were once again on Clank, who was charging up another shot.

Cccccccccssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Tribespeople were running every which way, two of which cut down Ratchet and the President. For revenge, Ratchet whacked a few with his wrench.

"Finally!"

"Oh Agent Clank, you're my hero!"

Clank laughed his signature laugh and looked at the front and back of his hand. "Nothing to it."

Sorry it's so short. I know crummy ending. Can you say Ewoks?

-Sarge11