Ch. 11 – A Reluctant Promise
Raoul watched the door anxiously, awaiting Christine's arrival with a mixture of anticipation and dread. He nervously fingered the ring in his pocket, remembering all too well what she had done with the first ring he had given her. But no matter his worries, he could afford to wait for her no longer. He would be leaving soon, and he wanted all to be settled between them before he departed, as he knew not when he would return.
He saw her then, a tiny figure in pale pink, seeming lost among crowd. His eyes softened with concern. She was wasting away before his eyes. Gone was the radiance that had always surrounded her. Though still lovely, she was but a shadow of all that she had been before. Damn that monster and his hold over her, he thought angrily. Look what he has done to her! She deserved happiness and love, and watching her, he resolved that he would do everything in his power to see that she had them both. He strode through the crowd with a single purpose on his mind.
Christine sighed as she watched Raoul cross the room toward her. She cared for him; that was beyond dispute. He was a dear friend, and the first romantic crush of her childhood. She had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to. She couldn't stay with Elsa forever, although she knew Elsa would gladly allow her to. She had to move forward, or she would be crushed by the weight of her sorrow. With resolve, she vowed to give whatever remained of herself to Raoul. She owed him that much. She had cared for two men in her short lifetime. One she had hurt irrevocably. She could not change that, but she could offer Raoul the happiness that she would never be able to give to her Angel. After all, the only person who would suffer from it would be her, and it was only as much as she deserved.
She straightened her shoulders resolutely, and forced her lips into a smile as Raoul reached her side.
"Christine, you look wonderful. Would you care to dance?"
"Certainly, Raoul, whatever you would like." She took his hand and he swept her onto the floor. The music was light and festive, and she found that while her despair still clung tightly to her heart, she was indeed having a good time, despite herself. It felt good to break away from her mourning for a time, to reenter the world of the living. Her cheeks were flushed from dancing, and she finally begged Raoul for a rest. He obliged her indulgently, leading her out onto the balcony for a breath of air. It was cold, and he draped his cloak over her shoulders, wrapping his arms around her small frame.
Unbidden, thoughts of another man who had wrapped her in his cloak came to mind. She remembered how he had held her in his arms this same way one night as they had stood looking up at the stars from the roof of the Opera House. He had lifted her chin to the heavens and had patiently shown her how a group of stars could be connected to form a picture in the sky. That night, he had named for her all the constellations visible to her eyes and told her the mythical story behind each one. He had taught her so much, shared so much of his unique self with her over the years. Christine closed her eyes, tears threatening once again, but she steadied herself, drawing in a shaking breath and releasing it slowly.
Feeling her tense in his arms, Raoul gently turned her to face him. His eyes seeking hers, his hands on her shoulders, he spoke with gentle sincerity. "Christine, I know you have suffered. I wish I could bear your pain for you. But I cannot, and no matter how I try, I can't seem to pull you back from this darkness that has encompassed you." He raised one hand to cup her cheek, "But my darling, I love you. You know how I love you, and if you would give me the chance, I would spend the rest of my life bringing back the smile to your face. Let me lead you back into the light, Christine. Be my wife, and I will be the happiest man on Earth. Things will be good again, you will see." His eyes pleaded with her silently.
His uncertainty was too much for her to bear. She had thought herself prepared for his question, and in her mind she believed she had made peace with her decision, but now when the time came for her answer, the words would not. She turned away from him to stare out into the night, seeking its dark comfort.
Raoul moved behind her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. He bowed his head slightly, and continued in a different voice, a voice filled with his own pain and regret. "Christine, I would wait for you forever. I know you are not yet ready, but something has changed that spurs my urgency." He hesitated, "I am leaving, Christine."
As her mind came back to the present and Christine registered his words, she spun around to face him, seeing the truth in his eyes. "I don't understand," she whispered.
"I know you have remained blessedly unaware of the incidents in Paris and throughout the country, but things are happening in France, my dear. Changes are underway. The Prussians are threatening France's very sovereignty as a nation, and there is great unrest among our own people as well. As you know, my family has served in the French military for generations. I myself was a naval officer for a time before I returned to you, and now my services are required once again." After a moment's pause, he added softly, "I am sorry to pressure you, my love, but I would much prefer to leave knowing that you will be here awaiting me as my wife when I return. Please, Little Lotte, don't shut me out again. Open your heart to me at last."
His eyes searched hers desperately, as he held out his ring to her. His question hung heavy in the air between them, the moment seeming to last beyond endurance. With a mental shake, Christine steadied herself. It would be a good match, her mind reasoned. He would be gentle and loving, and he needed her now more than ever. There was nothing for her in the shattered past, all she could do was to try and build a future from the ruins somehow. With trembling hands, she took the ring from his fingers and slipped it on her hand, her eyes gazing up at him uncertainly, forcing a brave smile for his sake.
Impulsively, Raoul picked her up and swung her around easily, crushing her to him in sheer joy. "Thank you, Christine. You will not regret your decision. I will make you the happiest woman on earth! Come, let's share our joy with those inside!"
He took her hand and led her back through the open door. Christine began to panic. She wasn't ready to face the prying eyes of his family and all of Paris society. But she was helpless to resist as he pulled her into the ballroom, leading her onto the stairs where all could see. Her heart began to race and her head to swim. Everyone in the room knew the torrid story of their past, knew how long he had waited for her to make up her mind, knew the rumors that her heart belonged to another. As Raoul called for everyone's attention, she felt their stares boring into her, challenging her right to be there beside him. She did not belong here. Their eyes told her clearly. Raoul seemed oblivious to the whispers and disapproving stares of the crowd, but Christine felt she was being scalded by them.
When the room quieted sufficiently at last, Raoul spoke, joy and pride brimming in his voice. "I have an announcement to make. I ask all of you, my good friends, to celebrate with me this night, as the lovely Miss Christine Daae has at last consented to be my wife." His eyes turned to her with unconcealed adoration. "We ask all of you to be present at our wedding in one week's time, before I am to leave in the service of France in her defense against the Prussians." A buzz continued around the room, and Christine's head felt light. His words echoed in her ears, "...our wedding in one week's time." The wave of hysteria that passed over her this time was too much, and as she felt Raoul move to steady her, she fainted into his arms.