Author's Note: Okay! Well, I wasn't going to write today because I have work at the office that needs to be done but two things changed my mind...1) I realize that I work for (one person in particular) incompetent and ungrateful indivduals who are more concerned with image, self and politics as opposed to the mission and the people and 2) I read some of the most amazing reviews coming for familiar and unfamiliar names. With that being said, how can I NOT update today? You guys deserve it!
There are a few that stood out and I must mention them although I feel bad because I don't want to offend anyone by not mentioning them and believe me, I APPRECIATE everyone who reads and especially those who take the time to review. It means a lot. But I have to give a few shout outs so...
Nathan's Manna, who is too cute! Even when you get behind, you take the time out to give your thoughts chapter by chapter.
GIRLNBOY521, for your enthusiasm!
Charli, for your understanding!
Nicola, for being a sweetheart and using her precious and limited computer time to read my stuff. That means a lot!
RoseRows, I just look forward to your comments! You make me smile!
And finally Sw33t Lavender, just for "getting" what I'm doing!
Everyone else, you rock, too! All of you! Now enough of my rants and thank yous, onto the story. Keep reading as I am off to work on another update. Because of you guys I can do it with a big smile on my face, despite the fact what Gavin DeGraw says ("I'm surrounded by LIARS everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by IMPOSTERS everywhere I turn") rings sooooo true for me.
Last but not least, a million and one apologies to those of you on my Alert list who had to endure a bunch of what you thought were updates last night but actually it was me reformatting the story. Ever so often if you go over 31 chapters, the first 25 mess up and are out of sequence and it's a mess. Someone brought the broken links to my attention so I fixed them. E-mail me if you find more, please...
Dan Scott collected himself before exiting his bedroom. After all, he was Dan Scott. Cocky, arrogant, brash, proud, egotistical, powerful, controlling, dominant, commanding. He had a reputation to uphold. Adjectives used to describe him did not include words such as emotional, weak, vulnerable and fragile. It didn't matter that his beloved son had been missing for days and was feared dead. He was not allowed to show the searing pain he was surely feeling inside. It was something he couldn't even share with his wife and Nathan's mother, Deb. It was a private hurt saved for those rare stolen moments alone. Behind closed doors, he could allow himself to take in the severity of the matter. Only then could he shed tears. When those few minutes were over, it was time to face his family, his "friends" and the world. It was time to be the authoritative enigma that truly was Dan Scott.
He walked downstairs to the small crowd of people that had temporarily taken over his home. The usual faces were there but two additional ones had been included. He hadn't seen them in years but his body stiffened as the recognition was still there.
He frowned seeing Deb and Karen talking to them. He should have known. Typical Deb to pull such a stunt. Dan rolled his eyes. Sometimes he felt like strangling her.
"What's all this?" he smirked as he approached the kitchen area.
"Dan, you remember Jim and Lydia James", Deb acknowledged. "They're going to be in town for a while."
"Ah. I see you've made yourselves comfortable here at Ground Zero headquarters."
Jim and Lydia looked away uncomfortably while Karen and Deb just shook their heads sadly.
"Dan, can I see you for a minute?" Deb stated more than asked as she led her husband by the arm into a private room.
"What the hell is this, Deb?"
"Nice work, Dan. That should make them feel right at home."
"This isn't their home, Deb. May I dare to ask what were you thinking? Our son is missing because of Haley James and you dare invite those ingrate parents of her to stay in our home without asking me?"
"Their daughter is missing, too, Dan. For God's sake, try to have a little compassion, please."
"Compassion? For them? This is all their fault in the first place. Had they had the common sense to stop two 16 year olds from getting married, our Nathan never would have been in this ridiculous situation."
Deb rolled her eyes and threw her hands up as she left the room to rejoin her company. There was no sense in trying to reason with his stubbornness. Jim and Karen had reconvened with the others in the living room while Lydia remained behind sipping hot tea.
"I apologize for my husband's rudeness. He's under a lot of stress. We all are. This is a very difficult time."
"I understand", Lydia nodded. "I know this can't be easy having us here with all the things that has happened between our kids. I appreciate you extending the offer. It's very kind of you at any time Jim and I start to wear out our welcome, you just kick us out on our butts. We're not here to cause any problems."
"It's no problem. Really."
Lydia smiled as she handed a photo to Deb.
"I was looking at this on the drive here. Haley bub was eight years old."
Deb stared at the smiling, adorable girl in the blue party dress.
"She's beautiful."
"I know it may seem kind of corny or stupid or whatever but I just can't put it down. It brings me comfort."
"It's not corny or stupid", Deb said as she pulled out the first grade school photo of Nathan that had been tucked away safely in her back pocket. "I haven't been able to stop looking at Nathan's pictures. I just miss him so much…"
"Despite everything that happened, Nathan is a good kid. You raised a fine young man."
"I'd like to think that I did. He's a great person and I'm so proud of him but I wonder how much my influence had to do with that. When he was little, he was a total Mama's boy. Dan used to hate it. So as soon as Nate was old enough, Dan put a basketball in his hand and thus the journey to stardom began, I guess. Things changed as he got older. I was a homemaker at first but I ended up taking a job at a local charity foundation. I traveled a lot. I made a few mistakes. Somewhere along the way I lost him. He was so far gone and by the time Haley came along, I was thankful. She literally saved him. The pressure from Dan to be great at everything was too much and it ruined our family. I filed for divorce and Nathan chose to live with me but uh, his father wasn't having it. He kind of forced my hand of having to admit that one of my extended business trips wasn't about business at all. I'm very ashamed to admit it now but I had run away with another man. I confessed to Nathan and it hurt him very deeply. Our relationship never quite recovered. He moved in with Dan where he was equally miserable until he became emancipated. Losing my son was devastating but who could blame him? The next thing I know, Dan has a heart attack and Nathan and Haley are married. It was all too much."
"They were a sweet couple, Nathan and Haley", Lydia fondly remembered. "So young and in love. We liked Nate a lot. When he and Haley first came to us with the idea to get married, we laughed. I thought they were kidding but they weren't of course. They were dead serious…and madly in love. I saw that and I really respected it. My husband was totally against it at first but I really pushed for it. It was what Haley really seemed to want and I trusted my daughter's decision. She always had been smart and grounded and on most days she could be more mature than Jim and I. I know for her to come to us like that, it had to have been real. So Jim and I discussed it, I convinced him, we signed the papers and you know the rest. I honestly thought they would make it. I feel horrible that they didn't."
"Me too, believe it or not. I was less than pleased and I took out a lot of my frustration on Haley and even you and your husband. I used to pray and think of ways to break them up. But when it happened on its own, I thought I would be happy. I wasn't. Because I saw how heartbroken my son was and you know no mother wants to see their child suffer. In a way, I blamed myself. Maybe if I had been nicer or more understanding…who knows?"
"Don't feel guilty, Deb. Been there, done that. As soon as she married, Jim and I brought the RV and hit the open road. I had so much faith in Haley but at the same time, I loss sight that she was still a kid. Maybe she could have handled things better with a little parental guidance."
"I guess we can't beat ourselves up now, huh? No need for Monday morning quarterbacking. We can't change the past and we can't control our kids or their lives."
"And we sure as hell can't control destiny."
Deb sighed and nodded.
"You're right. You know, I'm really glad we finally had this talk. It might be seven years too late and less than desirable circumstances but I'm glad we sat down like this."
"Better late than never", Lydia said pointedly.
Taking a deep breath as an effort to fight back tears, she reached out for Lydia James. They hugged. Two human beings, two women, two mothers feeling the same pain of the bleakest, most unimaginable situations. In the darkest hours, they would find comfort in each other. The blades of fear, anxiety, exhaustion and grief would keep them strong.