Ch. 16 - A Farewell
Christine was working in her beloved flower beds once more. The fall sunshine wrapped around, bathing her in its warmth. She lifted her face to thrill in its touch, feeling happier and more content, more whole than she had most of her life. She brushed the dirt from her hands as she stood up, and then bent to retrieve the remarkable bouquet of lilies she had cut. She smiled, knowing Elsa would love them. Lately, her beloved friend hadn't been taking her usual walks through the garden, choosing instead to read in the comfort of the house. This way, Christine thought, she could bring a bit of the garden to her.
As she walked through the French doors, she paused to check her appearance in the mirror that hung in the hallway. The girl she saw there looked familiar once again. The color was back in her cheeks and she had filled out nicely. Although she would always be slender, there was a healthy, elegant curve to her figure now where once there had once been only sharp angles. Her eyes were bright, although they still held a trace of sadness, but she was no more a wraith living between worlds. She had accepted that her fate would be to love a man who could never hold her, and though it pained her sometimes, she was for the most part content.
She went to the kitchen to fetch a vase for her lilies, filling it with water and arranging them carefully, still thinking over the events of the past months. Her relationship with Raoul had, after a time, returned to the easygoing friendship of their childhood, though a faint shadow of past events would always cloud it. All in all, she knew he had made peace with her decision and had forgiven her completely. He still wrote her from time to time, reassuring her that he was alright and telling her of his travels. His letters were always signed, your devoted friend, Raoul. And that was truly what he was at last. The nature of their relationship had been clearly defined, and there was a comfort in that knowledge that gave her peace.
Brightly, she entered the sitting room, eager to show her treasures to Elsa, but what she saw there stopped her cold. Elsa was on her knees on the floor, clutching her side, tears in her eyes. A letter lay beside her where she had obviously dropped it in her distress. Christine immediately knelt beside her friend, setting the forgotten lilies on the table next to the divan. "Elsa, what is it?" she asked, panic in her voice. Lately, Elsa had not seemed herself, and Christine feared now that she was seriously ill. Elsa waved a hand to reassure her, as she allowed Christine to help her onto the divan.
She laid her head back against the cushions for a moment, her eyes closed, as if conserving her energy. Remembering the forgotten letter, Christine reached to retrieve it, but Elsa caught her arm. Turning Christine to face her, she took a deep breath, gathering herself in order to appear to have the strength which she knew Christine would need from her in order to endure the news she was about to hear.
Her voice was low and soothing as she held Christine's eyes with her own. "Christine, my love, something has happened, and I want you to hear it from me instead of reading it in a letter." From her tone and the official looking seal on the envelope, Christine knew instantly what terrible tidings the letter held. It was what she had feared from the time her dear friend had left for war. She dropped her eyes and spoke softly, "It is Raoul, isn't it?" Elsa nodded sadly, wishing she could take away all the pain that this poor girl had endured in her young life. So much death, so much loss. It was a wonder she had been doing as well as she had, with all the anguish her heart carried. Christine raised her troubled eyes to meet Elsa's at last. "He is dead then?" she whispered. Elsa nodded again, tears in her own eyes as she watched the young face before her, "The letter says that he died a hero in the siege of Paris, sacrificing himself in the service of others." Her heart ached at the poignancy of the statement, aware that the irony would not be lost on Christine. Christine turned her face away, staring numbly out the window, tears gathering in her eyes. "Then he died just as he lived," she said quietly, inwardly wondering when God's punishment would end, for she was not sure how much more she could endure.
The funeral took place a week later. Elsa attended with her, holding her hand tightly throughout the funeral mass. Elsa looked at the poised woman next to her with a mixture of pride and pity. For all she had been through, Christine was becoming a very strong woman. She had cried for the loss of her friend, had mourned him deeply, but the losses in her life did not seem to break her as they once had. She stood tall, her head high, her slight frame clothed all in black as was the custom.
After all others had left the cemetery, Christine, squeezed Elsa's hand, then released it gently. Walking forward, she put her hand on Raoul's gravestone, and laid the lily she had been carrying on the fresh dirt covering his casket. She brushed her fingers to her lips and then touched them to his name carved in the granite of the stone. She smiled as she traced the letters with her gloved hand, and whispered to him softly, "Goodbye my dear friend, and thank you." She stood gracefully, and after one last look, turned back to take Elsa's hand once again.
Later that night, after Christine was in bed, Elsa sat at her desk beginning a very important task. The ache in her side had escalated to a nearly constant searing pain, and after a visit to her doctor, she had confirmed her fears. Despite her weariness, she was determined not to rest until her task was completed. There was an urgency to her plans now that had not been there previously. She finished her letter carefully, and read it through, checking to make sure she had said all that was necessary. She tucked it into a pale cream envelope made of the finest paper, and without sealing it, turned it so the front lay before her. She unlocked a tiny compartment in her desk and withdrew the paper Raoul had given her during his visit so many months ago. Carefully, she copied the address onto the envelope in her lovely, elegant hand.
Satisfied, she surveyed her work. There was only one more thing to be done. She tiptoed quietly into Christine's room. She smiled down at her peaceful sleeping form, and bent to tuck a stray curl behind her ear and kiss her softly on the forehead. Yes, she loved this girl as if she had been her own daughter, which she rightly should have been. And this was her gift to her, the gift that she herself had never been given – a second chance. Reaching quietly up to retrieve the music box from the shelf, she took the tiny golden key from her pocket and unlocked it. She withdrew the charred pages carefully, knowing the value they held.
After replacing the box, she returned to her desk, tucking Christine's honest words behind her own, and sealing the envelope at last. She had spoken with her lawyer after her visit with the doctor, and he assured her all was in order. Thus, her task was nearly complete, which was fortunate, since she felt her time had nearly run out. In the morning, she would turn the letter over to her lawyer, along with her strict instructions.
Elsa laid her head back on her chair, weary now beyond measure. She closed her eyes, smiling as she thought of her gift. Soon, she thought, she would rest, and then she too could have her happy ending.