Author's Note: Flashback sequence written in Italics. Dialogue borrowed from the WB's One Tree Hill, Season 1, Episode 8, "The Search For Something More"
"Baby, I'm going to work. I'll be home late tonight so don't hold dinner for me, okay? I'll just grab a sandwich or something somewhere."
"Okay", Nathan grumbled in a voice still heavy with sleep.
"You going to do anything special today?" Megan asked as she put her earrings on.
"I don't know", he yawned and stretched. "I've got some stuff to take care of, you know, with the pre season coming up. I'll probably be out all day, too."
"Okay. Well, I'll call you on your cell later, then. Love you", she smiled, leaning down and kissing him.
"Love you, too."
He heard her leave, the car pulling out of the driveway. He buried his face in the comforter hoping more sleep would come. It was not too be and he groaned at the thought. He hadn't lied to Megan about having business to attend to concerning the team. He needed to see his agent and the coach. It was his intention but as he dressed and hopped in his Escalade, he found himself driving the opposite direction from where he was supposed to go. He couldn't help it even as he maneuvered onto Interstate 40, East bound.
It was a 197 mile drive that took almost four hours. Rap music blaring from the CD player was his only companion. Finally he saw the sign that welcomed him to Tree Hill. He had no idea why he had gone there. The last faces he wanted to see were his parents and Lucas was back in Pennsylvania. There was nothing or no one he wanted to see in particular, he just wanted to escape. Nathan Scott was desperately but unsuccessfully attempting to flee the voices. Voices were all around him, trapped inside his head. They were deafening but only he could hear them. It was the sound of his conscious.
He drove and drove finally coming to a street in a middle class neighborhood down by the River. He pulled up to a house that looked much like the others. In the yard children played happily. Nathan closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he wasn't the 23 year old superstar sitting in his luxury SUV fighting away at the weight of the world on his shoulders. No. He was a 16 year old boy who had made a mistake. A big mistake. He had devised a plan to make a girl fall in love with him so he could callously dump her just to piss off his estranged older brother. But the plan had dangerously backfired when he fell for that girl. He was falling hard and the feeling was obviously mutual. All the signs were there, all the opportunities were there but he kept messing them up.
He'd hurt her feelings unintentionally at his father's party because of some drunken joke by Brooke. When the brunette decided to "change her karma", he had been given a second chance. A date set up with his crush. The night had been fun and interesting. He was having a good time. Then it happened. He fucked up. Tim and the other guys from the team had seen them having dinner. Quickly he denied it being a date. He wasn't ashamed but she didn't understand. The guys would rib them and make a big deal out of it so it was just best to say whatever to make them go away. They went away but she didn't understand. She was angry. Hurt. Once again, Nathan Scott had blown it.
That night he didn't sleep. At the crack of dawn he showered, dressed and grabbed the keys to his mother's car for an early morning Sunday drive. He drove to a middle class neighborhood down by the River and parked the vehicle on the side of the street. He had no idea what to say and he didn't want to risk waking her parents. So he grabbed rocks and began chucking them at the second story window thought to be hers…
"Trying to wake up my parents? That's their room", she said coming up from behind him.
She rolled her eyes, still pissed and rightfully so as she walked away.
"Wait! Haley, look, I need to apologize, okay?"
She'd heard that song and dance from him before.
"You should write them in bulk if you're going to hand apologies out that often."
He knew he was losing ground.
"Can we just…I don't know how to do this, alright? I'm not like you."
"What does that mean?"
"I screw up a lot, alright? And being around you, I just, I don't want to be that guy anymore."
"Well who do you want to be, Nathan?"
He thought for a minute before letting his heart answer.
"I want to be someone who's good enough to be seen with you."
Haley was frustrated.
"Well you should've thought of that last night. You know, I keep, I keep putting myself out there, and you keep blowing it. It's probably a good thing because at this point there's nothing you could say or do that's gonna surprise me…"
He leaned in and kissed her suddenly. She was taken completely off guard.
"Except that", she said softly. "You shouldn't have done that, Nathan."
"I wanted to", he replied honestly.
"Yeah."
Haley paused and looked at him. Instinct took over as she threw her arms around him and gave him a second more passionate kiss.
He opened his eyes again and realized where he was. Reality could be a bitch sometimes, he thought as he drove off. He had wasted enough time and there was nothing to do but simply head back home to Charlotte.
It was after dark when he arrived at his home and he could see the lights from outside.
"Hey."
"Hey", he said, tossing his keys.
"How was your day?"
"It was okay."
"I called your cell. You didn't pick up."
"Yeah…sorry about that. I was busy."
"Busy with the team?"
"Yeah", Nathan fibbed. "I had a meeting with Coach and…"
"Stop it", she said softly. "Nathan, stop it right there. There was no meeting."
"What?"
"I called your phone all day. When you didn't pick up, I got worried so I called your coach."
"You what?"
"You heard me. I…"
"What the fuck, Meg? What? You checking up on me now?"
"No, sweetie. I'm sorry. But with everything that's happened…Nate, I came very close to losing you. Too close. Sorry if I get overprotective but when I don't hear from you, it kind of freaks me out."
"Whatever."
"Were you?"
"Out, okay?" he answered flustered. "Damn! Next time I'll remember my pen and pad so I can be sure to write down my every move. Or better yet, why don't you get me one of those little ankle bracelet things they give to parolees on house arrest?"
"Nathan…"
"What? If it's okay, I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. I'll leave the door open so you can keep an eye on me."
She bit her lip trying to fight back tears of anger and frustration.
"Here", she said, tossing him a magazine. "Why don't you take this for your viewing pleasure?"
He looked down and saw that it was a tabloid. The cover read, The Rock Star and the Hoop Star: The Real Story! Read page 5 to find out details of the secret wedding and divorce that ultimately led to near tragedy in the tsunami ridden Dominican Republic
There was a large picture of the photo of Nathan in a suit and Haley in the white sundress taken on their wedding day. Smaller images of more recent photos of them alone had been inserted as well. Nathan sighed and looked up. Megan looked devastated.
"What do you want me to do? We can't control these rags."
"I can't believe it. Our whole life is now front page news, mocked and distorted for everyone to see."
Nathan walked over to the bar and poured a Dan Scott original, or better yet a concoction of simple whiskey on ice.
"Like I said, Megan. What do you want me to do? Huh? Pull a Howard Hughes and buy every copy printed and store it away in a warehouse somewhere?"
"No, but I do expect you to deal with it. Talk to me about it, Nathan. Something. Come on."
"Talk to you? What am I supposed to say? Can I say anything about Haley that won't have you breaking down into tears?"
Megan gasped.
"You…"
"I what?"
"You…you spoke her name."
The relevance was like a proverbial smack in the face for both of them. The significance did not go unnoticed.
"So what?"
"So you never called her by name before."
"You know what? I am not dealing with this shit tonight. You want to sit and read and worry about 'she who cannot be named', then you go right ahead. Have fun. I'm taking a shower, then I'm going to bed."
He left her standing there as he went into the bathroom and disrobed. The shower head sprinkled hot water and he sat under it, arms folded, legs hugged to his muscular chest, his right hand holding the glass just further enough away so as to not water it down any more.
He sighed. Everything was spiraling out of control. Those damn voices again! He couldn't run away. But he couldn't deal either. No matter what, it always came back to her somehow. The nameless one.