Author's Note: Lyrics to "Leaving Town Alive" composed and copywritten by Bethany Joy Lenz and can be found on her "Come on Home" CD...
Spending all your money
Ain't it funny how the time goes by?
First you start believing
Then you're leaving for no reason
And you're wondering why
So till the morning breaks
Go and make your mistakes
Don't be surprised if your head hurts
Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive
"Whoa! Whoa! What the hell is that? Is Haley James singing or is a cow giving birth somewhere?"
"Chris!" Haley folded her arms.
"What?"
"Real nice."
"That sounds like shit, Haley."
She sighed and threw her arms in the air cursing because she had forgotten that one of them was broken. The tour had just started and the city was Boston. Chris had managed to score them some studio time and she was laying down a new track she had composed called "Leaving Town Alive". Haley had agreed to let Chris produce the song but it was a move she regretted almost instantly. As musically talented and knowledgeable as he was, he was equally controlling and brash. At times it was more than a bit much to take.
"What do you want from me? I'm doing the best I can and…"
"That's not your best. Trust me. Haley, I know you. How many years have we been doing this?"
"Chris…"
"Look, you know how serious I am when it comes to work. You're wasting my time and that pisses me off. Take a deep breath, get motivated, get focused. Watch the pitch and your range and try to stay on key, please."
"Alright."
"Fine. Take it from the next verse."
Whisper in the ways
Watching days and moving on
You wake up every Monday then suddenly it's Sunday
And the week is gone
So till the morning breaks
Go and make your mistakes
Don't be surprised at the sunrise
Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive
"Cut! Cut! Cut!" he yelled from outside the sound booth.
"What now?" she took off her headphones.
"What's going in there, James? Work with me, please. Do something! You have to sing the way I tell you to. This could be great but it's never going to work when you're that flat. Haley, am I talking to myself? I…"
"Okay, okay, okay. Geez! I hear you, okay Chris? Loud and clear. Come on. Let's just pick it up where I left off so we can get out of here…"
Oh, do you wonder where it starts
Where it ends
What you find around the bend
Oh, do you wonder where she's from
Where she goes
No one knows
Now and then you wonder
Why you're spending all your money
Ain't it funny how she walks on by?
She had you all believing
Now she's leaving for no reason
And you're wondering why
Chris laughed and shook his head.
"Did you forget the words?"
Haley had had it. She threw the headphones and stormed out of the booth.
"No, Chris. I did not forget the words, okay? I didn't forget the goddamned words because guess what? I wrote the freaking song!"
"Well that's brilliant. You wrote the song and now you can't even remember the words!"
She gave him a death glare before grabbing her bag to leave.
"You're an asshole and I'm tired so obviously this is not working. I'm out of here."
She pushed past him in tears but he grabbed her arm and pulled him back.
"Haley, wait."
"No", she sniffed. "Just leave me alone."
"Look, I'm sorry, alright? Maybe I shouldn't have been such a dick but I can't help it when I see you not doing your best. You are an awesome musician. You know that. Fans love you, critics love you. You have what it takes and you've proven that over and over. I know what you can do and what you did tonight was mediocre at best. What gives?"
"I'm tired, alright?" she wiped at her eyes. "I'm human. Is that allowed, Chris?"
"Yeah, it is but I'm not sure if I buy that from you. I feel like it's something else. Ever since you got back from the Dominican Republic, you haven't been yourself."
"Sorry. Look things happened."
"I know. And I have a feeling you're talking about more than the tsunami."
She avoided eye contact.
"It doesn't really matter. It's over with now anyway."
"You're talking about Nathan?"
"Yes", she sighed.
Chris smirked.
"So he got to you again, huh? How did I guess?"
"Chris, things happened there that I can't explain. And I can't stop thinking about them."
"You slept with him didn't you?"
Tears overflowed her brown eyes.
"Yes", Haley whispered.
"I'm not surprised. Two castaways stranded in a mud house clinging to each other for dear life. So cliché."
"It wasn't like that."
"Then what's it like, Haley? I mean, be real. You've got a good head so use it. What do you think is going to happen? What are you hoping? Is this supposed to be like that An Officer And A Gentleman movie? What is Nathan gonna come bounding in here in his number 23 jersey and swoop you up in his arms and rescue you from the studio and the life you loved up until a few weeks ago when that sack of shit came back in it?"
"I don't know. Chris, I…"
"Let me tell you. That's not going to happen. Never. You may as well as get your head out of the clouds, James. Know what Nathan is going to do? Exactly what he wants and exactly what is expected of him. He's going to walk down that aisle and marry that rich blonde."
Tears streamed down Haley's face.
"I know", she sobbed. "I know."
"Then what are you crying for?"
"I don't know. So much has happened so fast. It's really hard to deal with. I'm still trying to get over the tsunami and the things I saw and surviving it. And then there's the divorce and yeah…being trapped with Nathan and having sex did complicate matters."
"It's over now. Just let it go."
"What if I can't? What if I don't want to?"
"Then you're a fool."
"He still loves me", she blurted out. "I know it."
"It'll never work, Haley."
"You're just saying that because you don't like him."
"I don't like him but I do care about you and that's why I'm telling you the truth. I won't sugarcoat this and tell you what you want to hear. Sorry. Too much time has passed and too many things have gone down in that time. Nathan and his life are completely different now."
"But…"
"But nothing. You can't go back to that night, Haley. You may want to but in the real world, take backs don't exist. You made the choice. You got on that bus. When you did, it changed everything…forever."
"Chris, I…"
"What? Having second thoughts after all these years? Do you really think you made a mistake?"
"I don't know. I think I could have done things differently. Maybe I could have had Nathan and the music. Maybe I still can."
"Haley…"
"I can fix it, Chris. I know I can. It can work. I can change…"
"Change what? You can't fix this. If you try, you're only going to make it worse and more people are going to get hurt. Change one thing and you'll change everything and then it's going to be out of control like a raging fire. In the end, you'll be the one to get burned. Mark my words on that one."
"You don't understand. You never did."
"I understand more than you think."
"Whatever", she turned to walk out.
"Have you seen the papers, Haley? The Enquirer, The Star, The Globe, US, In Touch, the freaking New York Post? Need I go on?"
She stopped.
"Yes", she whispered. "I've seen them all."
"You know right now paparazzi is outside just waiting for you to leave this studio. And they'll be at the hotel when you get back and at whatever restaurant you eat at tonight. They will be at the next city on this tour and the stop after that. And when it's done, they'll still be camped out in front of your apartment. Is that what you want? Are you trying to make this worse?"
"No."
"Then stop."
"I don't know if I can."
"Then do it for Nathan", Chris said quietly. "If you love him, if you truly love him like you think you do, then let it go. Let him go."