Chapter 4 Another miracle and a Tragedy
"My dear," called a Swedish woman named Mrs. Daae, "I'm home."
"Good Thor! Where have you been? By Frey! You've been gone for three days! Loki! I've been worried!" Mr. Daae exclaimed.
"Well, honey, you know how I've been getting terribly fat lately?"
"Well..." Mr. Daae didn't want to agree and hurt his wife's feelings.
"Well? Anyway, I found out why. I was something that people call 'pregnant'." Mrs. Daae explained.
"And that is?" Mr. Daae asked.
"A baby was growing in me!"
"Good Odin!"
"Don't be silly. It's quite normal. It happens to all married women, so I am told." She said, "Anyhow, we have a daughter."
"I, I'm a, a, a daddy?" Mr. Daae asked.
"And I'm a mommy." Mrs. Daae replied.
"Gah." Came a voice.
"And this is Christine Iduna Bjorn Daae." Mrs. Daae stated, revealing a small, pink baby wrapped in fleece.
"What a horrible name!" Mr. Daae grunted, "Let's just call her Christine."
"That's fine." Mrs. Daae agreed.
Christine was led into the nice, stone hut the Daaes lived in. She liked it. It smelt like radishes. There was a reason for that smell, of course. The Daae family were radish farmers. They grew all the little radishes that were used at the radish festival.
Christine's bed was a cradle made of whale bone and stag hide. Above her bed hung all the usual baby things: St. John's Wart (to keep away dark elves), silver (for goblin protection), a wishbone (for more goblin protection), wolfbane (to remove all threat of vampires), red yarn (to keep away the evil spirits of the caves), and a book on weight loss (to keep away cheek-pinching Uncle Harbjorn.)
"My mommy and daddy are very superstitious!" Christine thought.
"Oh!" screamed Mrs. Daae, "I walked under a ladder!"
"Why is that bad?" Christine thought, "Did she upset a can of paint?"
Mrs. Daae clutched her heart. She was so terrified of the bad luck that she might befall her that she had a heart attack and died right there and then.
"Oh no!" Christine cried.
"No! The evil elves have killed my wife!" Mr. Daae sobbed.
"She died from fear of superstition!" Christine objected, "Don't believe such silly things or you'll end up like her!"
Mr. Daae did not listen. He had his wife buried and sat down to cast runes and determine the Daae future.
"Why don't we just think reasonably about what would be the best thing to do in this situation?" Christine thought.
Her father cast a rune. "Ah-ha! We are to travel the world playing music!"
"And how did you figure that one?" Christine asked.
Dear reader: I must interrupt this fic to explain why Christine could understand adult speech after birth and Erik could not. You see, Mrs. Daae ate nothing but a strict diet alphabet soup throughout her pregnancy. Therefore, Christine could understand all forms of speech. It's very simple.