In Secret
By diddly day
A/N: Okay! Here we go! One more time! We have to celebrate. Oh yeah, all right. I was playing Final Fantasy 8 again, and I got to the part where Squall carries Rinoa on his back, and suddenly remembered why I started writing this. I found that when I write this story, despite how the game ends, this is the true way things happened. I hope you all feel the same as I do.
This next chapter is a little weird. Quistis's amnesia is a big question mark as of now. We really don't know how she will react to things, or, even though she is still Quistis, if she has the smallest shadow of her old self. I hope you keep that in mind as you read this. Enjoy!
Chapter Seven:
Her head still hurt like hell. But the room had finally stopped spinning. And she no longer had the desperate desire to vomit. She guessed that was probably a good sign. The best of it. . .was that she was alone. And he was gone.
She didn't have to be afraid. At least for now.
At the moment she didn't have to talk to anyone. All she had to do was huddle down into her cot, close her eyes, and fall asleep. However, after sleeping for a near twenty-four hours before, it wasn't coming. While the days events still swirling dramatically inside her pounding head, she decided she needed to get something to drink.
Now she stood in the room that had turned dark as night swept across outside her window. Her head in her hands, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Her tongue thick and swollen, enhancing the already chalky feeling inside her mouth. She strained to keep her neck supporting her head as she squinted through the darkened room.
Shuffling over to the small sink in the corner, she fumbled for the facet. The soothing sound of rushing water calmed her nerves, and she bent forward and splashed the cold drops on her face. She heard the window shake as the wind blew frantically outside. Placing her dry, split lips to the water, it tasted cool and clean.
For a moment, the water in her hands rifted as she saw double. But just as quickly as it had come, it passed as she continued to stare at her wet palms. Straightening her back, she abruptly felt as though an electric shock had gently sparked her mind, cutting the wires inside her brain. A sudden drowsiness over took her, and she let her eyes droop before she managed to turn around and head back to her bed.
She may not have known many things at the moment. But she did know that she had a concussion. It didn't take a genius to guess that. And she knew her name was Quistis. Not much, but for now, it was enough.
That little tidbit of information had been given to her about two hours earlier. By a stunningly pretty young woman with black hair and dark eyes. Her name was Rinoa, and she had shed much light as to who Quistis was and who that strange man was that had scared her so badly.
She had come in a little after the doctor had calmed her down. The air had grown slightly cooler as she lay her blond head on the soft pillow of her room. Weeping softly, trying to stare at the infirmary walls through her tears. In that instant, she heard the doors slide open, and the sound of another being glide next to her.
At first, Quistis just wanted whoever it was to go away. But then deciding that she needed answers, craned her throbbing head behind her to gaze at ravishing girl. Quistis couldn't help but admire Rinoa for her exotic beauty and kind heart. She gazed back down at her, a worried smile playing on her lips.
"Quistis?" she asked softly. "Do you know who I am?"
Quistis shook her head. The woman frowned and placed her hands in her lap as she sat down on the bed.
"Do you know who what your name is?"
"Quistis?" she tried, referring to how the stranger had addressed her earlier. The woman nodded sadly and placed her own hand on her chest.
"My name's Rinoa." She leaned over and turned on the lamp next to Quistis's bed. The light hurt her eyes, but she kept silent. "The doctor told me that you don't remember anything." Rinoa's mouth was still turned down. "Is that true?"
Quistis gulped and turned her eyes to the ceiling before nodding quietly.
"What do you remember?" Quistis shut her eyes and tried to ignore the horrible pang behind her eyes.
"I know basic things. What color the sky is. How to tell time. I understand English apparently," she paused. "I just don't remember who I am. Where I am. It's like I've been trapped in a white room all my life. And I just now have gotten out."
Rinoa was silent for a moment. Then she rested her fingers on Quistis shoulder.
"You haven't been in a white room. You've been here. You have a life," she heard her whisper. Quistis stared at her again. She was crying.
"Can you tell me?"
"Yes. And I can also help you."
Quistis leaned her back on her bed, closed her eyes, and listened. She could feel Rinoa shift as, she too, tried to get comfortable. At first, she seemed hesitant. As though she were trying to find the right words. But after a while, she gave up, and decided there was no fancy way to tell Quistis about her life.
"Where you live, right now, is in a military school. It's called Balamb Garden. Before that you lived in an orphanage until you hit adolescence. You are a soldier. A cadet. You work the branch SeeD. And you're name is Quistis Trepe, as I might add." She said all this very slowly and carefully. Quistis watched her mouth dramatically form the words.
Her own lips were shaking. A familiar feeling overtook her. A feeling she hated.
"My name's Quistis Trepe," she repeated. Tears welled in her eyes. "That's not a very pretty name." Her throat tightened without warning. She was going to cry again. And it wasn't because of her name.
"It's a beautiful name," Rinoa hushed. "It's your name."
"Do I have friends?" her voice quivered and she opened them. As the light hit them once more, she remember why she had shut them in the first place. But she kept them locked on Rinoa. Her raven hair cascaded down her shoulders and she gazed down at Quistis. At her question, Rinoa laughed.
"Yes. You have many friends. In fact, you have a fan club. People love you." Rinoa was flashing her a watery smile.
"Are you and I friends?"
"Yep. But lately, you and I haven't seen a lot of each other. We don't work together. But we are friends." Quistis straightened up on her bed. The blood in her head rush down quickly, making her faint and pale.
"And that man. . ." at this, Rinoa's smile faltered. Her eyes glazed and her jaw set. "With the dark skin and black coat. Who is he?" She was dying to know why he had reacted the way he had.
Rinoa didn't answer right away. It seemed like she was trying to figure out who Quistis was talking about. But the back of her eyes showed that she had a suspicion of who this mysterious man was. Finally, she sighed and folded her arms, trying to warm herself.
"Him? That was Squall."
As soon as the words left her lips, Quistis remembered him shouting in her face. Telling her to say his name. Squall Leonhart.
"Who is he?" She leaned forward and steadies herself from falling off the bed.
"He's your Commander. But he's also your partner. You two work together, but he holds a little bit more power over you. He told me he was waiting for you to wake up so you could file a report. Obviously, I don't think that's going to happen now."
The room was quiet.
"Are he and I friends?" she questioned timidly.
Something in Rinoa's eyes flashed. Not dangerously, but sadly. Quistis, in this moment, did not like the fact that Rinoa knew more about her life than she did. And something about this man Squall was sore. He was clearly not a man that Rinoa enjoyed talking about.
Why?
Because what she saw behind those almond eyes, besides sadness, was pain.
"No," she soughed, "you aren't friends." Pressing her lips together, she looked at the door. Almost as to make sure he wasn't listening.
"Why?" It didn't make sense. If they worked together, they might as well be friends. Rinoa looked uncomfortable at her question.
"He– he gets a little annoyed. And you work with him. You annoy him a little."
Even though she didn't know him, it still hurt.
"He was mad at me when I woke up. Does he hate me?" Rinoa's neck snapped back in Quistis's direction.
"No! No! He doesn't hate you, Quistis." She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "That's just the way he is. He's a loner. He shuts people out. In fact, he shuts everyone out. And anyone who tries to get close to him, he finds annoying. And he doesn't like the fact that you probably know him better than anyone else does."
Quistis was now the one frowning.
"Not anymore," she stated softly. Rinoa turned her eyes at the window that was now splattered with rain. A sharp jet of lighting lit up the infirmary making her skin glow.
"It's nothing personal. He's like that with everyone."
There was something in the way Rinoa said those words that made Quistis's heart fall. The words themselves weren't anything special. It was the expression that possessed her elegant features. Her chocolate eyes became softer. Even in the dimness of the room, a gentle smile displayed itself visibly. And the tone in her voice. . .it was almost dreamy. Full of sweetness.
There was no mistake. This girl, despite that fact she didn't like talking about him, was very fond of the man named Squall. The cast of her face wasn't one of an enemy. Not a stranger. Nor an acquaintance. What was masked in her starry eyes wasn't an indication of friendship between she and Squall. But of pure affection.
A lover's look.
So, he was harsh? He was angry and cold with everyone?
"But not with you," Quistis muttered hopelessly.
Rinoa looked away. A dark blush overtook her light flesh. Gulping, she stood up and stuttered.
"He was once. But now I'm nothing more to him than a witch." She crossed the room and headed for the door. The dreamy look gone from her face. "You know what you need to for now. And you're hurt. Rest."
Quistis lowered herself back onto her bed. She forced herself to smile at Rinoa. But it was the last thing she felt like doing.
"Thank you," she uttered. Rinoa returned the same forced smile.
"Sleep well." And with that she left Quistis alone in the deserted room.
Sleeping well was probably the only thing that she was going to be able to do tonight. Not much, but like before, it was enough.
I I I
Squall couldn't sleep. If not for the rain, he would've taken a nice long walk outside. He couldn't walk inside the Garden. There was a risk that he would pass other cadets and they would see that something was wrong. Deathly wrong. He didn't want anyone one to see him
Not like this.
He remembered that day so long ago that he had snuck into the closet. Crying. Hoping no one would ever find him. No one did. Except Quistis. She somehow was the only one who had ever been able to find him. As always.
It was as though he were back at the orphanage. Hiding in the broom-closet. Miserable. Waiting for everyone else to forget he even existed. Squall wanted to be shut out of sight, so as to not see how weak he was. How alone he felt. How sad he was.
But the one thing he wanted. The only thing he wished for, was to have Quistis find him again. But he knew that he would never get that chance.
He stared out into the rain., trying to concentrate on the tiny droplets running down the foggy glass. Everything was falling apart. Pouring down on him like the water outside his room. If only there was a way to avoid thesehorrible afflictions. If only there was a way to walk between the raindrops.
Somehow, watching the storm amplified his already frustrated, pent-up emotions. And soon, he found himself having to look away from the window in fear that he would lose control of the desperate nagging of tears that were struggling to escape his eyes.
A light knock on his door made him jump, and he stared at the floor, hoping to make himself look angry and annoyed. Anything to cover is grief. Whomever it was, they didn't wait for his permission to come in. He heard their gentle footsteps on the carpet, with door clicking softly behind them.
"Squall?"
It was Selphie. There was no why to explain it. But he wasn't upset to see her. It was almost a relief. Squall closed his eyes and concentrated on this mystery. Why was he slightly happy to see that it was she, and not Zell who had walked in on him during this open, revealing moment in his shadowy room?
The answer didn't take long to find.
She was one of the few people who knew of his love for Quistis. Her voice was so tender, so understanding. Selphie was aware of everything exciting that happened in the Garden. And she was aware of him. At the thought of her compassion, her gentleness, the tears pushed fiercely against his eyes. He fought back with every fiber of his being.
"How are you?" she asked again.
Still, he stared, as though he were transfixed with the carpet. Nothing able to be uttered in the dark room.
"Squall?" her tone. So mild. She was full of compassion. His throat hurt again. He tried to gulp, but found that whatever was in him was blocking his voice. Beads of sweat formed at his brow in an attempt to battle his overtaking emotions. Why? Why did this have to happen now? Why not while he was alone?
Knowing that he couldn't ignore her any longer, Squall turned his eyes reluctantly to Selphie. It was hard to make out her expression from behind thin layer of water in his eyes, but he heard her gasp as though she were about to faint. She grabbed the door handle to steady herself. Her other hand flew to her heart. And when she spoke, her voice shook with pity.
"Oh Squall."
He quickly looked down. The pain he had been in now was overbearing. As though it were mocking him.
She was so kind to him, and he was failing now. Failing like he did when he was only a little boy.
"Quistis–" he stopped. It was too hard to say her name aloud. The earlier relief of Selphie standing in his room was fading. Slowly inhaling, he steadies his breathing to find the right words. But there were none. "She– she doesn't remember."
He hated the sound of his own voice quivering. Rapidly, he pushed his fist over his lips to keep them from trembling. This was one of the most awful things he had ever experienced. His entire self was showing. Showing to a woman who he did not want to see at the moment. At this time, Squall had no idea how he would ever recover from his horrid vulnerability.
In that instant she was by his side. He clenched his jaw as she felt her hand on his shoulder. She had to leave. She shouldn't be here. This was not the time. There was never the time.
"I know about Quistis, Squall," she soothed. "Every one knows she's hurt."
He wouldn't usually have ever opened up to her. But she was one of the only people who knew about his marriage. And she was offering comfort. That was more than what he was going to get from Irvine. But did he really want any comfort? No. He didn't. Not now anyway. At least not from her.
"Selphie?" he whispered when he knew he would sound stronger. "I'm tired," he lied. "Could you give me some privacy?" He felt her hand disappear from his shoulder.
"Of course." He didn't watch her as she stood up to walk out of his room. "It'll be okay Squall."
He knew that wasn't true.
"I know."
That was a lie.
"Sleep well." She then left.
And that wasn't going to happen.
I I I
"Well, the good news is, she seems to know the basics," announced Dr. Kadowaki,
"That's the good news?" Cid said as he, Squall, Seifer, Rinoa, and Selphie stood outside the infirmary. All of them huddled together intimately
"Well, it's better than having to sit with her, and tell her what the letter "A" looks like," Kadowaki responded.
"She said she knew certain things last night," Rinoa piped in. Squall and Seifer turned to look at her with an expression of incredulity. She stared right back. "What? I wanted to know how she was doing!"
"What did you tell her?" asked the doctor. She was gazing at Rinoa intently. Rinoa shrugged.
"Just essential information. The kind of stuff she needs to know if she ever wants to join the rest of us. I told her what her name was, where she was living. Who she worked with. What her occupation was. And I introduced myself. . .again."
By the way she said it, it was obvious that Rinoa thought it to be odd. Meeting someone for the first time that you already knew.
"Well that's good," said Kadowaki looking relieved. "Tell me, does anyone know if Quistis has experienced anything big in the last year or so?"
Everyone looked at each other confused. What exactly did big mean?
"What?" Seifer question bluntly. "Her entire life is big. She works for SeeD for crying out loud!" Kadowaki raised her hand to shut him up.
"I mean, has she had any prior injuries? Something that would make her think, act, or move different? Has she gotten promoted? Does she have any children?" everyone, except Squall, laughed at that idea. "Is she engaged? Big things."
Squall looked around. Rinoa was shaking her head. Cid looked like he was thinking as if he could remember Quistis with someone romantically. Seifer seemed to be mumbling about a date. All the while, Selphie was looking not-so-subtly at Squall, who was now, staring at the floor.
"I don't know," he muttered, eyes fixed on the ground. "Why?" He heard Dr. Kadowaki sigh.
"Well, if anything big has happened to her, she could receive a bit of shock. When someone is completely ignorant to the fact that they have a child, it's not the best thing to drop the bomb on them right away. Do you see what I'm saying?"
"You mean, we shouldn't tell her about her life altering experiences?" Selphie scoffed. "That's ridiculous! She had the right to know if she's been fired. If she's pregnant or. . .married." Another unsmooth glance in Squall's direction.
He inwardly groaned. She was not helping.
"You're right, she does have the right to know," Kadowaki agreed. "But you can't just barge in there and tell her she's been fired, pregnant, or married. She'd freak out! And it's very unhealthy. Those kinds of things can cause enough stress when a person is aware of them in the first place. By telling her, she might have the opposite reaction."
"Opposite reaction?" Cid looked confused. Kadowaki nodded. She glanced at every one of them.
"Those burdens could become so heavy, she might try to escape them. Either by running away, or blocking them out. I'm not sure. Or she might not freak out at all. But like I said before, it's not healthy."
The room was quiet. This was not what Squall wanted. After alarming her so badly the day before, all he wanted to do was explain himself to Quistis. Tell her that the reason he was so upset was that he was married to her. That he loved her, and needed her. That he couldn't bare to lose her.
But now he wouldn't be able to, because it was "unhealthy."
"So, what should we do? We can't keep secrets from her forever," he whispered.
No one seemed to noticed how devastated he was. Not even Selphie. Kadowaki stepped forward to the wall, turned, and placed her back against it. Thinking for a few moments, she nodded her head as if she were agreeing with herself.
"You should ease her into her life. Slowly tell her about herself. Rinoa," she added, addressing the young girl, "what you did last night wasn't bad. You didn't tell her anything that would get her aggravated. But if you know something that could be a huge deal, slowly let her know. Show her pictures. Surround her with things that have any sentimental value. Your biggest priority is to help her remember."
She hesitated for a few minutes. All of them staring at one another with a shared mission. To help Quistis.
"So, does anyone know of anything that would make Quistis upset if she found out?"
No one raised their hand. However, Selphie's shot up without much irresolution. Squall held his breath. All the while staring at her, willing her not to spill his profound secret. It wasn't fair that others should find out about his relationship. Especially before the woman who he was having the relationship with.
"Yes?" the doctor asked. Selphie looked nervous, avoiding Squall's eyes.
"She just came back from a mission," she uttered, like she were revealing traitorous information.
"What kind of mission?"
Selphie's eyes jittered around her. In the dim light Squall could almost make out the light reflecting from her forehead, the sweat making it glow. It was clear she was uncomfortable with who she was sharing this knowledge with.
"A uh–" she gulped. "A dangerous one."
Kadowaki looked mildly intrigued. It was plainly obvious that Selphie was obligated not to tell anyone this.
"Well, whatever it is, don't tell her right now." Selphie eyes wilted with happiness of not having to give up her secret.
"Where is she now?" Seifer was staring at the door that read INFIRMARY.
"She's in there, resting." Kadowaki now seemed tired, and done with talking. She was about to turn and leave when Squall seized her shoulder.
"Can I see her?" he hushed. Upon seeing Seifer, Rinoa's, and Cid's surprised faces, he added, "I'm her commander, I need to see how she's doing. That's my job."
He also needed to apologize. Even so, he wasn't going to say that out loud. Kadowaki smiled for the first time that day.
"Yes, just try and handle her carefully."
If the others had any problem with Squall visiting Quistis alone, he didn't see it. He left before any of them could murmur the slightest objection. Turning, he vanished through the sliding doors of her room.
The aroma of antibiotics sent an awful flavor that caked his tastebuds. He could practically feel the bitter hint of the tongue-depressor grinding down his throat. The very though almost made him gag. Nonetheless, the gag stopped when he saw her standing by the window.
As always, he was immediately taken in by her beauty. It was a shame really. Quistis never seemed to understand just how wonderful she was. Sure, she looked in the mirror, but she never really saw her real reflection. She was way too hard on herself, and had no idea what she was missing out on.
She looked tired. That was for damn sure. And her hair was lightly tousled, making her appear extremely unfamiliar. Her blue eyes seemed faded over the course of the long night. And they gazed emptily out the window. Serenely staring at nothing.
It was clear she wasn't all there. Quistis didn't move an inch as he paced behind her, his oversized boots scuffing the floor. He stopped, fidgeted with his fingers pressing against his palm, and opened his mouth.
"Quistis?" he exhaled.
She instantly sprung away from the window. Throwing her head to glance behind her, she spotted him. Her eyes wild with astonishment. Full of life and fire. If her mind had been gone a moment ago, it was certainly back now.
Her lips parted when she had registered who was standing next to the door. For a moment, Squall thought she was going to scream. Either that or beat the living shit out of him. He braced himself. Expecting for her to cause a huge scene, but after gazing at him, she shut her mouth and dropped her hands to her sides.
"Oh," she grunted. "It's you."
That hurt. Those small words had almost hurt more than anything he had ever felt in his life.
Squall checked the door, to make sure it was shut. Then, silently trying to recover from the large emotional blow he had just received, he took another soft step towards her. He saw her eyes flicker to his feet, and she seemed to want to back away from him. However, as the wall was already pushed against her back, she couldn't move.
"Quistis," he began. He really didn't know what to say. How was he ever going to get her forgiveness for terrifying her so horribly? "I– "
He stopped. His entire body went limp, and his hands sagged pitifully to the ground. Gravity was doing its job, making him feel like the biggest failure in the world. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't explain what had happened to him yesterday.
When his eyes finally found her, she was furrowing her brow at him. She seemed half angry, half defiant. Whatever he said to her, she wasn't going to make it easy. And what she said next proved it.
"If you are going to start yelling at me again, you might want to back up a little. I don't want to go deaf."
He didn't respond to that sting, because he deserved it.
"I'm not going to yell," he sighed.
She may not remember, but she was still sassy. He had learned over the course of dating her that Quistis had a small saucy streak. And he had learned from experience that it only came out when she was pissed.
"Why are you here?" her voice had softened. . .just a bit. He bit his lip. Squall dreaded saying he was sorry. But in this case, he was going to have to swallow his pride.
"I just came in to apologize for scaring you." She looked confused when he said the words. "I was just shocked."
"Why did you get so angry at me?" though she wasn't as upset as she had seemed earlier, she was being demanding. After the humiliation of yesterday, she was recovering by taking control.
"I wasn't angry," he whispered.
"You weren't angry?" her tone told him she didn't believe him "Just like you weren't shouting in my face?" Never mind, she was angry.
"I wasn't mad at you." He couldn't look at her anymore.
"Then why?" Now she was the one on the verge of shouting.
He didn't answer at all this time. Instead he stared to his right, at the wall that had a small crack in it.
"Why?" she repeated. Quistis was getting wrathful. But however mad she got, he couldn't explain as to why he had lost control.
More silence. Then. . .
"WHY?" Her voice was more sharp than loud, and it bounced off the tin walls of the infirmary echoing a metallic sound in her tone. As soon as the words flew from her lips, Squall turned his head back at her.
"I was SCARED!"
Until he had yelled it, he hadn't even realized that had been the true reason to his anger the night before. He was scared. Scared of losing her. Yes, it was mixed with other things. Confusion, denial, impatience, desperation. But the one that dominated them all was fear.
She jumped slightly at his outburst. Her features caught in surprise and turmoil. She had not expected that answer. All of the intensity was gone from her eyes, and was replaced with softness.
At that moment, she looked like Quistis. His Quistis. He let himself pretend that maybe he had sparked a memory within her. But he new that was just wishful thinking on his part.
He took a deep breath and tried to finish.
"I was scared." He had never frowned so powerfully. Even when he had stalked around the garden, the only cast on his face a dark scowl, he never frowned like this. "You're my partner. I was afraid that I'd lose another soldier. We don't need that. Not now."
You're such a liar, the nagging voice told him. You were afraid. Afraid that she would never love you again.
She, now, seemed slightly ashamed with herself. Straightening up, she folded her arms across her chest and met his strong eyes with hers.
"You're not how Rinoa described you at all," she stated.
"Well, Rinoa doesn't know everything," he grumbled, not caring what Rinoa had told her about him. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up annoyed at the door, where Rinoa stood on the other side.
Quistis's next question, confused him more than anything.
"Do you see her as a witch?"
He couldn't help from staring at his wife as though she were crazy. Perhaps amnesia wasn't the only thing they had to worry about.
"She's not a witch," he answered dumbly. "She's a Sorceress." Quistis shrugged.
"Same thing."
Squall pushed his lips together.
"Trust me, it's not." They both were quiet, and then without warning, Quistis laughed. She apparently understood something he didn't.
"No!" she giggled. "I'm not asking you if she as magical powers! I'm asking you if you hate her." Well, she had seem to forgiven him.
"I don't hate anyone," he answered shortly. He felt like he had been transported back in time. When he was a student, and Quistis was his Instructor. Squall cringed, he never wanted to feel that way again. He never wanted to see Quistis as anything other than his wife.
"You loved her." She had stopped laughing. "You two were lovers."
His entire body tensed. This was not happening. Had Rinoa said that to her? Had she told Quistis that they were still together? A sudden fury burned throughout his body. His blood was made of lava. He felt erratic. All the man inside of him awake. A desire forced his way inside of him to find Rinoa and shake her. There was no way he was going to let her ruin his marriage. The love between he and Quistis was sacred, and he wasn't going to lose it because Rinoa was having second thoughts about their breakup.
Squall stared at Quistis. Immediately, the flaring madness calmed. Her eyes were frozen to his. He felt an electric current pass between them, and his heart skipped. A flood of pleasure wrapped around him. And he knew that Quistis's lips were calling to him. They needed him, as much he needed them.
"I don't think love is the correct term. And we weren't lovers," his voice was almost whimsical. He was lost in her presence again. "We were in a relationship, but that's over."
"When you two talk about each other," she started, "I see pain."
Pain? That pain you see isn't for her.
"I'm not in pain over her anymore."
"There's a fine line between pleasure and pain." It was an old saying, but still wise. And Squall knew better than to contradict her. But the pain was heightened by the pleasure. The stronger the love, the stronger the pain. And with Quistis, the agony he was experiencing now made the hurt with Rinoa feel like a dull headache.
"Not with her."
And that was the end of it. He would no longer discuss his past affair with Rinoa to the person he loved more than anyone. To the woman who he had grown to love. Who he had realized that she had everything he ever wanted in a spouse. This conversation was over.
Quistis turned aside and scratched her chest. A flash of her doing that the day before, as she had fallen, shook him. And he had to stop himself from reaching out to grab her. Like he had failed to do yesterday.
But she was only satisfying an itch. He then saw her move something under her shirt, and grab at the air around her neck.
"What is it?" he asked, now referring to her latest action.
She stopped and looked at him. Reaching under her collar, she pulled out a long silver chain. Once he caught a glimpse of the sun bouncing off it, he knew exactly what it was. She let the necklace hang freely over her clothes. Her beautiful silver wedding ring swaying back and forth a few inches above her navel.
"I don't know what this is," she said, gesturing to the object that was the only material evidence of their love. "I think my mother gave it to me before she left me at the orphanage. It keeps dangling between my breasts and it's driving me crazy."
He left himself walk closer to her. Timidly, he placed his fingers out to grasp her ring, hoping they might brush over her body. They didn't. The ring was warm from resting against her hot skin for so long.Squall gulped. A spark flew into his mind. He was kissing the chain around her bare neck. The memory from a few nights before.
His fingers were twittering and he dropped the ring.
"What makes you think it's from your mother?" Quistis shrugged again and grabbed each end of the ring with both her hands. She gazed at it admiringly.
"Who else could have given me this?" It was all Squall could do not to shout that it was him. "She wrote something in here too, look."
Holding it up, he saw the glint from inside of the elegant band. Along the rim, written in exquisite cursive were the words that he had said to her on their wedding day.
Il mio amore. Mia moglie.
"I don't know what it means," she whispered, still peering at her precious gift. "But I think it says something about a daughter."
Squall didn't tell her that he had an almost identical ring hiding under his clothes. He knew what those beautiful words meant. And it was nothing about a daughter. He had whispered it so many times on their honeymoon. To see that she didn't have the slightest fathom of what it meant made him cold.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he soughed. She looked up from her band surprised.
"I'm sorry too," and then she smiled at him, and the coldness lessened a little bit. Shoving the ring under her shirt again, she pointed at the bed. "I'm going to take another nap. Nice to meet you Squall Leonhart." As an afterthought she added, "See, I remembered."
That joke didn't make him feel any happier. Nonetheless, he still grinned. He did nothing but nod as he left her room And from that moment on, the door had been shut, in more than one way, between them forever.
Standing outside her room, Squall checked to see if anyone was looking, and fished for his ring under his garments. Holding it up to his face, he pressed his lips to it. He let it set there for a while, not wanting to let it vanish under his clothes again. Pulling it away, he stared at the different cursive words that swept under his band. The very words that she had said to him as they made love for the first time.
Il mio amore. Mio marito.
To be continued. . .
A/N: Dun dun dun! Wow! Sixteen pages, I think this is the longest chapter I've written as of yet! Okay, I'm think this is as close as to Rinoa bashing that I'm going to get. I don't like bashing characters. It's very unrealistic when I see Rinoa calling Squall "Squally." If she ever did that in the game, I don't remember it.
But anyway, I hope you all liked. I'm not sure if anyone still cares that this is up. I'm pretty sure I've lost about 99.9 percent of my original audience. So, if you want me to continue, please let me know. But this is a really long story to write for no one.
Thanks again.
(If you like this, then you'll love "Forget me Not" by Divine Dark Oblivion. One of my new favorites.)