Chapter Two- September
URGH! Oh, Journal, you have to help me! Well, you can't. You're just parchment. Scrimgeour at work is starting to suspect me. It's not easy living this double life. He overheard me cracking a joke to Shacklebolt about the real location of 'escaped murderer', Sirius Black! Stupid, I know! I'm an idiot! Moody would kill me if he found out. And Scrimgeour's a git, always snooping around in other peoples business. I'll try to be a good little girl from now on. Always did have trouble keeping my mouth shut.
Yesterday we saw Harry and his friends off on the Hogwarts Express. Sirius came as Snuffles. We all knew it was a bad idea, but nobody had the heart to stop him. Everyone knows how he hates being cooped up, especially in his parents old home. I'd go nutters, that's for sure.
Of course Remus was there, but not much happened. I went as an old lady. Bit ironic, that. Suddenly, I was too old for him. Ha! Maybe next time I'll go as just a bit older, so I'll be more in his range.
It is getting to be around the full moon. I suspect that's why he was looking a bit peaky. Sirius tells me that except for an accident he had two years ago, he's only allowed the Marauders to see him change. So private. I've never seen a werewolf in form before. I wonder what it would be like to see him change… I wonder what it would be like to be so close to him that he would let me see him change. I'm not afraid. I don't care what he is; he's a good friend, and a dependable teammate. I'd trust him with my life. If only he's trust me with something. As long as it wasn't fine china.
Honestly, when I'm around him…I dunno, he's just so calm, and so lovely I find it impossible to think that he could ever be a danger to me. Not that he isn't powerful, he's taken down nearly as many dark wizards as Mad-Eye, who calls Lupin our 'unofficial auror.' It's true. In many of the years that he couldn't get a regular job due to werewolf bigotry, he worked as a bounty hunter.
I elicited this information after he'd been gone for a fortnight. I thought it was unusual for him to be gone for so long, you see, and I was worried. (Yes, and maybe a tiny bit jealous at the thought he could be with another woman, fine, I admit it!) He is a mysterious man, and I respect his right to privacy, but I had been going mad, so when he got back I asked him where he had been. He explained that it's what he does for work, and even though he's working for the Order now, Dumbledore wants everyone to sort of carry about their normal lives. This keeps our little organization from looking to suspicious so he still does it, sporadically. I'm glad I asked, and I hope he doesn't have to go away for two weeks again.
Bounty hunting seems like an odd job for someone with a gentle demeanor such as Remus's, but he is an enigmatic wizard. I often think about what his life was like after little Harry defeated You-Know-Who. Two of his best mate's dead and one in Azkaban. Must have been hell for him, on top of being an outcast. How can a person have faced that much adversary, and still be the way he is? Sure, it's turned a few hairs grey, and on bad days, you can see the strain on his face, but in his eyes, there is so much warmth. Especially when he smiles. I try to get him to do it as often as possible and at any cost.
N. Tonks