We left you last week with the intriguing interview with Kagome. And now your hard working newswomaninformerladything is proud to present...
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The Cases
Interview Two: Inuyasha
by: bs
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Last time... we interviewed Kagome. She revealed some rather unnice things... and todaaaaay we have managed to track down Inuyasha, another main actor in the series who has happily complied to answering a few questions.
(The camera fizzes on and it shows a picture of Inuyasha sitting in a chair, masking taped very heavily to it by his arms and legs and gagged. He is struggling rather violently.)
(Very violently.)
So Inuyasha... (the camera closes up on his face) how does it feel to be one of the hottest actors in Japan in this present day and age?
Muffled screams are heard and Inuyasha seems to be trying to bite through his gag.
You seem rather irritated Inuyasha. Is there a reason behind this?
More agitated screams are heard and now Inuyasha is rocking the chair rather aggressively.
Ah. So there are some romantic issues between you and Kagome going on right now? Is it because of your real life ex-girlfriend Kikyou?
"MMPH???" Inuyasha seemed to be rather agressive and started scraping his chair against the wood, making lots of loud screeching sounds.
Yes. I know about your dastardly relationship with Kikyou. Now, do you have any comments about it?
Inuyasha struggled extremely hard this time, making his chair fall over on the side. He seemed to be in a shock but shook his head and wriggled.
Wow. You must be put in situations like this all the time. You're getting away so fasssssst... maybe I should stop you...
Inuyasha, having had wriggled his upper torso out of the rope bindings, and has somehow miraculously ripped the masking tape (the horror!!), was now using his arms to support himself the rest of the way, froze and gave the unknown reportpersnthinggirl a horrified look. And because moving again, but much faster. Definiately faster.
Fine. Be a spoilsport. Can you at least give me ONE comment on your relationship between the dramatic Kagome/Kikyou love relationship? Wait - wrong question! That's for Kikyou! What do you feel about your ex being a lesbian?
Inuyasha, now having gotten all the way out, was sitting on the ground, tugging at the ropes on his ankles. He froze and decided to rip his gag out first.
"WHAT THE HEEEEEELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? KIKYOU'S NOT A LESBIAN! I DON'T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER! THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN KAGOME AND KIKYOU! THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU BITCH AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOU USE DASTARDLY??? THAT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!!"
(laughter is heard)
"WHAT?"
One second please.
There is some maching whirring in the background.
Okay! Here... listen to this!!!!!!!
Something is clicked and from a tape recorder (it seems) Inuyasha is talking... "KIKYOU'S A LESBIAN!!! THER IS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN KAGOME AND KIKYOU!! WHY THF FUCK DID YOU BRING KIKYOU BETWEEN ME AND MIROKU??"
Inuyasha stared in horror, gaping like a dying fish, out of the reach of water. Yeah... well, either that or he looked like a kangaroo who's just been violated.
(very violated)
"What is WRONG with you???"
I dunno. Anyway, can you answer a few questions now that you can talk?
"You're a pyscho."
Why thank you! Please answer the following question: Did you or did you not have a relationship with Kagome on the set of Inuyasha?
"...I didn't even say Miroku. How did you get THAT on the tape???"
I have my ways. Please answer the question! Or I'll be forced to tie you up again!!
"Stop smiling like that. It's unnerving."
Thanks.
"What was the question...?"
STOOPID MUTT! It was 'Did you date Kagome while filming Inuyasha, Inuyasha???
"Wuh?"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT DATE KAGOME??? I am losing patience furry eared dahling....
"...you're a pyscho."
I know. Answer me!
"Well, the answer is... I'm not sure. Because I thought we were, but then Kikyou took me out and Kagome didn't have a problem with it so I thought it was okay but then a few days later Miroku and Kouga came and yelled at me because they told me Kagome was upset and crying and I felt bad but then there was nothing I could really do y'anno? So I went to Kagome because Kouga threatened to bash my head in with a golf club if I didn't so then I'm not really that stupid so stop giving me that look and then I went to see Kagome and we talked and it was nice and I promised her that I liked her but Kikyou just would not stop pestering me and I got really annoyed but it's just not right to yell at women you know? And so I had a nice talk with Kikyou too and this was just in the first season of Inuyasha and Kikyou got the wrong message, obviously because she got a vase and smashed it on my head and that hurt. I had to get a lot of stitches for that and it was painful. Then Kagome found out that Kikyou smashed a vase over my head and then she went and agrued with Kikyou and they got into this HUGE catfight and Kagome got a black eye. Well, actually two because when Kikyou's sister Kaede, and no not the older version. Her real live sister who bears a scary resemblence to Sango, came by and punched Kagome's other eye and all I did was stand there because I mean seriously - it's just really wrong to hit a girl so Kagome got upset with me because I didn't defend her and I told her she was being stoopid and she got mad and slapped me and I got mad and I started yelling and she started yelling and then - "
Gawds. You're like a GIRL. You just don't shut up do you?
"Hey! You wanted me to tell you!"
Yeah... sorta. So you DID date Kagome? And then cheat on her with Kikyou?
"Yeah - No! No! Hey! Wait, why are you recording this? I thought you said you were working for a magazine!"
Something like that.
"Who do you write for again?"
He seemed suspicious. I wasn't sure if I should push the coversation further or leave while I stll had the chance.
"...who the hell are you talking to?"
I shall brave on for my public! Inuyasha...
"Wuh?"
There were rumors that you were a drug pusher back in the day.
"BACK IN WHAT DAY???"
Ahhh... and it seems to me that you have gotten the now tainted and unpure Kagome involved with all of this.
"Kagome? What does Kagome have to do with all of this? And what do you MEAN TAINTED???"
Ah... he was playing innocent.
"Seriously bitch! Answer me! Who the fuck do you work for?"
Maybe she was born with it, Maybe it's Maybelline!
"..." (a pause. a long pause.) "WHAT THE HELL?? GET BACK HERE!"
It seems that - pant- we shall have to find another date to inteview - gasp - Inuyasha for further detail. Do not underestimate the power of rope and masking tape!
"GET BACK HERE!!!!!!"
The camera flickers off.
And suddenly the screen turns back on, filled with static. Then, an image of a dark dark door is shown.
(in a whispered voice)
I have found a place where I can possibly get some more information out of that rascal, Inuyasha. Maybe if I pressed this button, the camcorder will - SHIT!
the camera blacks out again.
AN: I am not doing this in any particular order... just whatever floats my boat at that particular moment. I hope you liked it!