James sat down in the break room, a scowl that could rival his father's set on his face. Eric sat next to him and looked down at his lap.

"You wanna talk?"

"Not really."

"Jay, listen..."

"I don't want to."

"Well I'm going to talk anyway."

"You're just wasting your breath." James muttered. Eric sighed and ran his hands through his hair. Upstairs in her office, Calleigh wasn't having too much luck with Meghan either.

"Meghan, we all miss him."

"At least you knew him." she muttered. "You got to spend time with him. You remember him. I don't have any of that and it's not fair."

"I know it's not fair but will you just listen?"

"No."

"Meghan, you're not giving me a chance to explain and I don't like it." Calleigh said softly.

"He's dead. There's nothing to explain. I want to go home."

"James, stop being so stubborn!" Eric exclaimed. James moved off the couch and stood by the window. "She's your sister. Hell, she's your twin. Aren't you two supposed to have some connection?"

"Not when she's acting like a psycho!"

"She's missing your father."

"She needs to get over it."

"Why are you acting like you don't miss him?"

"Why should I feel like I need to miss someone when they never gave me a chance to know or remember them?" James asked.

-------S/C-------

Calleigh lay in her bed, tears streaming silently down her face. When did things get to be like this? Why were things like this? Why wasn't Tim laying next to her, making her laugh or... comforting her? Sometimes she didn't believe that he was gone but she would have to face reality. Why couldn't Meghan do that as well? Supposedly, she wasn't giving up on him. Her words, not anyone else's.

Downstairs, Meghan silently crept through a door off the living room. No one ever went in here. Why? It used to be Tim's room. She was hoping she'd find something that would tell her something about her father. Meghan slid behind the desk and was delighted to find a computer sitting there. She pressed the power button but nothing happened. Sighing, she grabbed the plug and put it into the outlet. Why hadn't her mother cleaned this room out after her father had died? The computer finally turned on and Meghan slowly went over the desktop. It had all your basics, AOL, a recycling can, Microsoft Word, virus scan programs, a few video games.

The wallpaper was a picture that Meghan definitely knew. It was Tim and Calleigh's wedding picture, which seemed to be everywhere. There was one at CSI on the fridge in the break room and in Calleigh's office. Another was at Eric's, Alexx's, and Horatio's and then there was a few in Meghan's own house. Meghan grasped the mouse tightly, hoping nothing had been deleted off the computer.

'What are you doing? This is an invasion of privacy.'

'Invasion of privacy? He's dead!'

'Still, Mom may come in here from time to time.'

'Have you seen the dust in here? Mom is a little neat freak. She definitely doesn't come in here. If she did, it'd be clean.'

'Maybe she wants to preserve it.'

Meghan finished her inner battle and clicked on Microsoft Word. Holding her breath, she opened up 'file' and was relieved to see that it still had some documents on there. Meghan read a few of the names. Court, Kids, Me Only...

'Invasion of privacy.'

'Oh stop! Just because people put 'me only' doesn't mean it's for them only.'

'Would you like to be grounded for the rest of your life?'

'Grounded or finally finding something out about Dad? HMM?'

Meghan clicked on 'me only' and pages quickly filled up. She saw the first dated entry was Oct. 21, 2002.

Just got back from LA. Better than I thought. We got together, finally. I didn't want to let her go home. And she didn't...

"Oh my God." Meghan quickly scrolled down and saw her birth date.

February 12, 2005

They're here, finally. I cannot believe it. My kids... me, a dad... who would've thought? And to twins for that matter! I don't know if I can handle one, how am I supposed to handle two? Oh well... I got Calleigh here, by my side. But I think I'll do okay... the four of us are already good together. I can tell Meghan will be a daddy's girl. That's fine with me. The three of them are my life and I love them so much.

Meghan sighed. This wasn't getting her anywhere. She scrolled down, not seeing anything of interest, until...

March 4, 2007

I'm in deep shit. Deep, deep, deep shit. Something has come up and it doesn't look like I'll be around much more. I regret this, a lot. I don't want to leave but I have to. God, this will kill Calleigh. I'm going to miss her so much and the kids... my kids, our kids... They just turned two. They... all I ever wanted was a family. I finally got that. Calleigh, Meghan, James, and me. I wanted to be there, to watch them grow up... guess now that's not going to happen. Horatio says I have to do this. I know I have to. If I want to protect them, I will. Maybe it won't be forever. Maybe I'll be back soon.

Soon? How soon was soon in Tim Speedle's mind? But that didn't peak Meghan's interest. What did he mean, if he wanted to protect them? Protect them from what? Meghan silently yelled, wanting more from this computer but that was the last entry. Did her mother know about this? Obviously Horatio did. Meghan glanced at the clock on the computer. 10:57 PM. Was it too late to call? Meghan decided to give it a chance and dialed Horatio's number.

"Hello?"

"Uncle H?"

"Meghan? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No I was just watching TV. What's wrong?"

"Um... do you swear not to tell my mom?"

Horatio couldn't swear. If it was something big, he'd definitely tell Calleigh.

"Of course I swear." he lied. "What's wrong?"

"You know that room off of my living room? The one that's always closed?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, that was Dad's room... where he hung out and everything and there's a computer in here. He wrote a lot of stuff down and I sort of read a few of his... entries in this journal thing. It says, 'Something has come up and it doesn't look like I'll be around much more. I regret this, a lot. I don't want to leave but I have to. God, this will kill Calleigh. I'm going to miss her so much and the kids... my kids, our kids... They just turned two. They... all I ever wanted was a family. I finally got that. Calleigh, Meghan, James, and me. I wanted to be there, to watch them grow up... guess now that's not going to happen. Horatio says I have to do this. I know I have to. If I want to protect them, I will.' What does that mean?"

"Uh... I don't know." Horatio lied.

"Uncle Horatio, he said that you said he had to do this! Obviously you know! Now tell me!"

"I can't sweetheart. You're too young."

"Is he still alive?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Because... it... no one's story is complete when I ask them about my dad. I figured something was up. I just want a straight answer from somebody." Meghan replied. Horatio had to smile. She was definitely Speedle's daughter. "I think you can give me that."

"You think I can huh?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Tomorrow, I will pick you up from school and explain everything okay?"

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now get some sleep. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I love you too Uncle Horatio. Thanks, bye." Meghan hung the phone up and turned the computer off. She went through a few drawers in the desk and sighed. She'd do this in the morning. She was going to bed.

--------S/C--------

A/N: In the beginning of the chapter, Eric called James 'Jay.' It's just his nickname for him. I didn't screw the names up or anything. Lol.