Disclaimer: I don't own Dr. Lecter, Clarice Starling, or the recently deceased Paul Krendler. They are the property of Thomas Harris. I am merely borrowing them. This is actually a story that I started along time ago and never finished. . I have since revised parts of it, and am hoping to finish it. Also I stole a line from the movie As Good As It Gets for this chapter..Reviews are greatly appreciated, but please don't flame! I know my English isn't that great. Okey dokey, here we go...
Chapter one.
Clarice walked threw the same dark and narrow FBI hallway everyday . On the way to her office people would pass her
and give her a looks that let her know just how much they loathed the very sight of her. They hated her for capturing James
Gump all those years ago, they hated her for being her, but most off all they hated her for liking Dr. Lecter.
Somehow after all that had transpired at the lake house she still managed to keep her job. A job that forced her to walk
all alone in this world. A job that forced her to give up the husband and children that she might have had. A job that gave her
the daily pleasure of being stared at by people who thought of her as the doctor's leading lady.
To be completely honest it wasn't the nicknames that bothered Clarice, instead it was the destain with which they were
spoken. She hated to be thought of as weak and unruly, yet she was forced to deal with the fact that her coworkers
thought she was both.
How she wondered, had she become so hated. What had she done to deserve this type of treatment? As she walked
threw the hallway Clarice pondered all the moments of her life. She thought of both the good moments and the bad, all of
which have made her who she is today.
Some might consider it unhealthy that she spends so many hours of the day contemplating all the failures of her life,
but for Clarice they are welcome thoughts. Any thought is welcome if it helps provided relief from the other thoughts that
plague her mind daily, the thoughts surrounding him. Yes, Clarice had to admit that while she did not relish the negative
thoughts that she so often has, they do surve a purpose.
They keep her mind from other undesirable thoughts, thoughts about Docter Lecter. Yes Clarice spends a lot of time
trying to force thoughts sorrunding the docter out of her head , but even now they still plague her. She still has his voice in
her head. That charming, beautiful sound that is his voice. Clarice could hear it so clearly. The doctor would say "You serve
the idea of order, Clarice. They don't. You believe in the oath you took, they don't you feel it is your duty to protect the
sheep, they don't.""They don't like you because you're not like them. They hate you and they envy you. They are week and
unruly and believe in nothing."
This day had been different though as Clarice had publicly vocalized her stess. Finally she had enough of this voice in
her head, and she had screamed shut up. It had taken her a few moments and several glances from co- workers for her to
realize that she had said it out loud. Great she has thought to her self,as if it wasn't't enough that the FBI thought of her as
Doctor Lecter's whore, now they were going to believe that she was a raving lunatic.
How she had wondered did I get so hated, what exactly had she done wrong. She had always done everything by the
book.She had begun to wonder if doctor lecter, or Hannibal as she often referred to him when now one was around, was
right maybe that was her problem.
Maybe the fact that she insited on following the rules, was what had alienated her from her coworkers. Yet even as she
had comtemplated this she had known that she couldn't do it any other way. She had known that she could not give up her
morals, values, and beliefs just to be excepted by the FBI. She would rather be hated by her coworkers then have to give up
on the things that she believed in. Those things had made her who she was, Then again her mind had a asked was she
happy with who she was today?
Clarice had not had much chance to contemplate that before another agent had called out to her. "Yes?" She had cried
out hoping to god that she wasn't about to find out that someone else was trying to figure out another way to make her life
miserable. "Agent Starling", the man had said. "Some new information has come into light on Lecter, and we want you
back on the case."
3 days later
How she had gotten on a flight to London had been beyond her, the reason she had agreed to be resigned to Dr.
Lecter's case again was lost on her. All she knew was that when the Agent had shown her the photo taken of Dr. Lecter
and some woman in London, she lost all sense of reason and abruptly agreed to go.
So she had ended up sitting in aisle 14, in between a woman who smelled like she had just come out of a cheese
factory and a rather large man who had actually take of his shoes and socks, and began to pick at his toes. Yes, she had
thought, this was defiantly going to be a long flight.
She had just begun to picture what Doctor Lecter would do to this man for such rudeness as the stewardess came to
take drink orders from her row. She ordered water and then pulled out her walkman and began to listen to the tapes Barney
had given her of her talks with Dr. Lecter. She was trying to get back into the mind set that she felt she would need to
catch him.
It was actually really funny is she thought about it, she usually spent most of her days and nights trying to get him out of
her head, and now she was trying to force herself to concentrate on him alone. Finally after 10 hours, which seemed more
like twenty the pilot had announced that they would begin their decent into the London Heathrow airport.
After claiming her baggage, which was really only one small suitcase as she didn't plan on being here that long. She
started to make her way threw the crowded airport toward the exit. It was just as she had started to open the door that she
had thought she heard his voice.
She had instantly turned around prepared to see him standing there right in front of her. But instead she had seen no
one. After another quick survalience of the area had not provided her with any evidence that he was in fact there she had
decided to move on. The voice she had reasoned to her self, had probably just been his voice inside her had. Then having
convinced convinced herself that searching the airposrt would do little more then waste her time, she had hailed a cab and
asked to be taken to the Blakes hotel. This was the hotel where she had already called and made reservations.
On the ride over she had thought about how happy she was to be taking this trip alone with out some hot shot agent
here looking over her shoulder and watching her every move. It had seemed unreal when they had agreed to send her alone,
it was almost too easy. She has almost expecting them to change their minds and send another agent along. She was very
greatful that they had not though, because if Dr. Lecter was her having another person around would simply put that person
in danger. It would also be much easier, she has thought, to catch him now that she wasn't being forced to babysit some
rookie agent.
By the time she finally got checked in and made it into her room, she nearly collapsed on the floor, she was so
exhausted. The long flight and cab ride had been more then she could take and she had been desperate for some much
needed rest.
She had woken up a few times in the night to the awful screaming of the lambs. She had sat up in her bed sweating
and shaking as her thought of her worst memory from childhood. The awful screaming of the lambs. That sound had scarred
her for life, and it seemed as though she would be stuck listening to it for the rest of her life.
Later that night she had finally managed to get a dream and not a nightmare into her head. She was walking along a
beautiful beach somewhere; With Dr. Lecter at her side and his arm around her and as she walked the feeling she had was
sort of surreal.
The next morning she had woken to the sound of the telephone. She had been rather upset at being forced from her
dream, as she rarely had dreams. She had picked the phone up desperately hoping all the while that it was a wrong
number, as she was in no mood to be forced to talk with someone. A simple and rather angry Yeah had come from her as
an aswer to this unwanted phone call. "Now is that anyway to answer the phone, Agent Starling?" Dr. Lecter had asked.
Clarice had felt her anger instantly conform into some feeling she couldn't quite identify. She had felt some strange state of
nervousness and uncertainty. She had opened her mouth to speak, but had not been able to find the words.
The silence that followed had become increasingly unbearable, and Clarice wondered if he would be content to simply
to have her on the phone, even if all that passed between them was silence. Lucky he soon spoken to her. "You look well
Clarice, he had said if you will permit me to observe". She had remained at a loss for words. "Has the cat got your tongue,
Clarice?" he muttered in a rapsy voice. Finally the gods must have taken pity on her because her voice finally returned to
her, but all she muttered was the usual "I that you, Dr.Lecter?"
"Ah, so Cinderella has finally decided to grant me the pleasure of hearing her voice?'he had asked sounding slightly
amused. At that Clarice had begun to laugh, and she had to admit that this certainly was the most fun that she had in a
long time.
"No disrespect Dr.Lecter, she had said, But I don't exactly feel like Cinderella and you certainty are no Prince
Charming."
"Oh, Clarice you hurt my feelings" he said in what she had quickly recognized as mock exasperation. "How are you
feeling, Agent Starling?" At that point she had reminded herself of who she was and what she had come here to do. "I'm
fine Dr. Lecter" she sad her voice sharp. Suddenly he had seemed angry. "I had thought you knew better then to lie to me"
he had said the tone of his voice had sent shivers down her spine.
That set her off. "Well what would you rather I say, Dr. Lecter, that life sinks. You want me tell you how I live alone,
have no friends, everyone at work hates me , and now I'm stuck alone with one of Americas most wanted serial killers . But
other then that my life is great. Are we finished now?"
He had seemed a lot calmer when he spoke next "There is no reason to be upset Agent Starling, I was simply trying
to make polite conversation..."
She had been so angry that she hadn't even thought of how rude he might consider her interrupting him to be.
Excuse me, but did you just say polite conversation, you are an escaped convict on the phone with an FBI agent, and you
want to make polite conversation she had said, her tone expressing her frustration. Tell me something, doctor, do you have
any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?