Chapter ten
Facing up to Facts
'Ten points from Gryffindor,' Snape said silkily, closing the door behind them. They hurried to their seats, Harry having to restrain himself from taking hold of Snape's black robes, shaking him and shouting 'What the hell did you do to my mother!!!' Hermione seemed to be aware of this, because she was holding his sleeve in an annoying way, making sure he came with her to the table where Neville was already sitting.
As they sat down, Neville also seemed to notice that Harry was furious. 'What's happened?' he whispered to Hermione while Snape turned to the blackboard, flicking his wand to make the instructions for today's potion appear there. Neville's look of concern made Harry even angrier. 'NOTHING!' he hissed, just as Snape turned around again, eyeing them suspiciously. Harry looked back at him, his eyes narrowing malevolently.
Harry couldn't care less about doing well in Potions today; he wouldn't even mind if Snape took 100 points from Gryffindor for some reason. He almost hoped that Snape would get really angry and shout at him, so he'd have a reason to shout back. But then, of course, Snape hadn't been shouting at him all that much lately. In fact, he'd been surprisingly lenient towards Harry this term. Could it be that he, too, was suspecting something? Did he know? Had he always known that Harry might be... he could hardly bring himself to think it... his son? But no, Snape had always hated him for being James's child. He couldn't possibly think that Harry was his own son, and besides, he wasn't. He was NOT Snape's son!
Harry did his work mechanically today, almost hoping that something would go terribly wrong, just to take his mind off things. If his cauldron would melt or explode, at least he wouldn't have to think about his possible connection with Snape for a while. But nothing went wrong; in fact, Harry was among the few students who successfully completed their potion this class. Even Hermione seemed to have made a mistake today, for the first time ever, as far as Harry knew. Her potion smelt strongly of manure.
Snape was going round, inspecting the potions, giving snide comments to most of the students, but only raising an eyebrow when looking at Harry's potion. At Hermione's cauldron he paused: 'You seem to have forgotten the Essence of Belladonna, Miss Granger,' he said softly. 'Very unlike you.' He walked away without taking any points from Gryffindor, much to Hermione's surprise and Harry's disappointment.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was Dumbledore. The whole class stared at him in awe; they had never seen the Headmaster down here in the Dungeons, nor in any other classroom for that matter. Snape, too, looked mildly surprised. 'Good afternoon, Headmaster,' he said smoothly.
'Good afternoon, Severus.'
Snape waited as though he expected Dumbledore to give some explanation for his visit there, but Dumbledore simply stood there, beaming benevolently. 'Ah, I see you are making the Nighteye Potion today,' he said. 'I remember my brother Aberforth had some trouble making that potion when he was at Hogwarts... He forgot to add the Essence of Belladonna, so it smelt of manure... I don't know whether he did it on purpose...'
The whole class stared at him in confusion, as did Snape.
'Is there anything I can do for you, Headmaster?' Snape asked.
'I wanted to speak to Harry,' Dumbledore said smilingly. 'But I'll just wait until you're finished here.'
Snape turned back to the class. 'Very well, you may hand in your samples now,' he said curtly. Harry looked defiantly at Dumbledore, wishing he would leave; he had no wish whatsoever to hear Dumbledore's explanations for the memories in his Pensieve, whatever they might be. But Dumbledore stayed there, his gaze coming to rest on Harry from time to time, while they were all cleaning up their tables and packing their things.
Harry stayed on when the rest of the class had left, Hermione giving him an anxious glance on her way out.
'Would you like me to leave, Headmaster?' Snape said.
'No, Severus, I think it would be better for you to stay.'
Harry could see Snape giving Dumbledore a questioning look, but Dumbledore only nodded reassuringly.
'So, Harry,' Dumbledore went on, 'I expected to find you in my office, but when I returned there you had already left...'
'I – I was in a hurry,' Harry said defiantly, wishing Dumbledore would leave him alone; he had no desire to speak to him, especially not in the presence of Snape.
'So, tell me, Harry, am I correct in assuming that you saw certain memories which I had left (rather foolishly, I must admit) in my Pensieve?'
Snape tried to hide a snort, pretending to tidy up among the phials of potion and just-handed-in essays on his desk.
'Yeah, I did,' said Harry accusingly, 'and I saw HIM going to my parents' house, disguised as my dad!' He pointed a long, thin finger at Snape, who had looked up from his desk again. 'And my mum was there, Lupin said so! What did he do there? What business did he have in my parents' house?'
'Professor Snape was there on my orders, Harry,' said Dumbledore gravely, 'he was there on a mission for the Order. It was my intention to tell you about it this morning. That was part of the reason why I had put those memories in my Pensieve.' He looked at Harry searchingly. 'But Harry, why don't you tell me what you wanted to see me about in the first place?'
Harry could see Snape looking at him with a strange expression on his face, almost as if he were nervous.
'It was nothing. I don't want to talk about it.'
'Are you sure? I had the impression it was something rather important you wanted to discuss with me, something that had been worrying you...'
'No – not while he is here, anyway,' Harry said pointing at Snape again.
'Oh, but I think this concerns Professor Snape too, Harry. You know it does, don't you?'
'No – I don't know what you mean! Why should it concern Snape?'
'Professor Snape, Harry,' said Dumbledore gently.
'I DON'T HAVE TO CALL HIM PROFESSOR IF HE'S MY FATHER, DO I?' Harry shouted at the top of his voice. There was a ringing silence during which both Snape and Dumbledore stared at Harry, who couldn't believe what he had just said. He had to get out of there, immediately! He turned to the door, but before he could open it he felt Dumbledore's hand on his arm, holding him back with a surprising amount of strength. He turned around again, furiously, and caught sight of Snape's face over Dumbledore's shoulder. There was an expression on it that Harry had never seen before, and he wasn't entirely sure what it was. Could it be ... sorrow?
'Is it true?' Harry whispered incredulously. 'Did you... did you... with my mum?!'
Snape nodded hesitantly. Harry was shaking with anger, and he didn't even notice that Dumbledore's grip on his arm had tightened considerably.
'How could you?' he roared. 'How COULD you, you disgusting... you vile... you filthy...'
'Calm down, Harry,' Dumbledore said soothingly.
'Don't you tell me to calm down!' Harry hissed. 'You knew about this! You knew about it and you didn't tell me. If you hadn't made him go there it wouldn't even have happened in the first place!'
Dumbledore sighed and surveyed him through his half-moon spectacles. 'Harry, unbelievable though it may seem, this is nobody's fault. None of us realised that you might be Professor Snape's son until you came back to Hogwarts this term, looking different. It is extremely rare, almost unheard of, for a child to be conceived under the influence of Polyjuice Potion. Professor Snape never suspected that it might have happened that night in Godric's Hollow...'
'THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE IT ALL RIGHT FOR HIM TO DECEIVE MY MUM THAT WAY!' Harry shouted.
Dumbledore sighed again. 'Under the circumstances, Professor Snape was forced to keep his disguise at any cost...'
'No, Headmaster,' Snape interrupted him, 'you needn't defend me. He is right. I should not have done what I did under any circumstances. I can say nothing in my defence except that I... that I loved Lily, very much. More than you could possibly imagine.'
Harry stared at him, unbelievingly. The thought of Snape being in love with anyone, let alone his mother, was unlikely to say the least. Harry couldn't imagine Snape being capable of such an emotion at all. And besides, he had once heard him call Lily a Mudblood.
'Harry, I know this is difficult for you to accept,' Dumbledore said, 'and I expect it will take some time for you to come to terms with it. But you had to know. You must agree with me on that.' He eyed Harry scrutinisingly. 'Perhaps it would be best for you to return to Gryffindor Tower now. I will see to it that you are excused from the rest of your classes this afternoon. If you want to talk more about this later, you may of course always come to my office.'
Harry turned on his heel, and without giving either of them a further look he swept out of the classroom, his black robes billowing behind him.
Facing up to Facts
'Ten points from Gryffindor,' Snape said silkily, closing the door behind them. They hurried to their seats, Harry having to restrain himself from taking hold of Snape's black robes, shaking him and shouting 'What the hell did you do to my mother!!!' Hermione seemed to be aware of this, because she was holding his sleeve in an annoying way, making sure he came with her to the table where Neville was already sitting.
As they sat down, Neville also seemed to notice that Harry was furious. 'What's happened?' he whispered to Hermione while Snape turned to the blackboard, flicking his wand to make the instructions for today's potion appear there. Neville's look of concern made Harry even angrier. 'NOTHING!' he hissed, just as Snape turned around again, eyeing them suspiciously. Harry looked back at him, his eyes narrowing malevolently.
Harry couldn't care less about doing well in Potions today; he wouldn't even mind if Snape took 100 points from Gryffindor for some reason. He almost hoped that Snape would get really angry and shout at him, so he'd have a reason to shout back. But then, of course, Snape hadn't been shouting at him all that much lately. In fact, he'd been surprisingly lenient towards Harry this term. Could it be that he, too, was suspecting something? Did he know? Had he always known that Harry might be... he could hardly bring himself to think it... his son? But no, Snape had always hated him for being James's child. He couldn't possibly think that Harry was his own son, and besides, he wasn't. He was NOT Snape's son!
Harry did his work mechanically today, almost hoping that something would go terribly wrong, just to take his mind off things. If his cauldron would melt or explode, at least he wouldn't have to think about his possible connection with Snape for a while. But nothing went wrong; in fact, Harry was among the few students who successfully completed their potion this class. Even Hermione seemed to have made a mistake today, for the first time ever, as far as Harry knew. Her potion smelt strongly of manure.
Snape was going round, inspecting the potions, giving snide comments to most of the students, but only raising an eyebrow when looking at Harry's potion. At Hermione's cauldron he paused: 'You seem to have forgotten the Essence of Belladonna, Miss Granger,' he said softly. 'Very unlike you.' He walked away without taking any points from Gryffindor, much to Hermione's surprise and Harry's disappointment.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was Dumbledore. The whole class stared at him in awe; they had never seen the Headmaster down here in the Dungeons, nor in any other classroom for that matter. Snape, too, looked mildly surprised. 'Good afternoon, Headmaster,' he said smoothly.
'Good afternoon, Severus.'
Snape waited as though he expected Dumbledore to give some explanation for his visit there, but Dumbledore simply stood there, beaming benevolently. 'Ah, I see you are making the Nighteye Potion today,' he said. 'I remember my brother Aberforth had some trouble making that potion when he was at Hogwarts... He forgot to add the Essence of Belladonna, so it smelt of manure... I don't know whether he did it on purpose...'
The whole class stared at him in confusion, as did Snape.
'Is there anything I can do for you, Headmaster?' Snape asked.
'I wanted to speak to Harry,' Dumbledore said smilingly. 'But I'll just wait until you're finished here.'
Snape turned back to the class. 'Very well, you may hand in your samples now,' he said curtly. Harry looked defiantly at Dumbledore, wishing he would leave; he had no wish whatsoever to hear Dumbledore's explanations for the memories in his Pensieve, whatever they might be. But Dumbledore stayed there, his gaze coming to rest on Harry from time to time, while they were all cleaning up their tables and packing their things.
Harry stayed on when the rest of the class had left, Hermione giving him an anxious glance on her way out.
'Would you like me to leave, Headmaster?' Snape said.
'No, Severus, I think it would be better for you to stay.'
Harry could see Snape giving Dumbledore a questioning look, but Dumbledore only nodded reassuringly.
'So, Harry,' Dumbledore went on, 'I expected to find you in my office, but when I returned there you had already left...'
'I – I was in a hurry,' Harry said defiantly, wishing Dumbledore would leave him alone; he had no desire to speak to him, especially not in the presence of Snape.
'So, tell me, Harry, am I correct in assuming that you saw certain memories which I had left (rather foolishly, I must admit) in my Pensieve?'
Snape tried to hide a snort, pretending to tidy up among the phials of potion and just-handed-in essays on his desk.
'Yeah, I did,' said Harry accusingly, 'and I saw HIM going to my parents' house, disguised as my dad!' He pointed a long, thin finger at Snape, who had looked up from his desk again. 'And my mum was there, Lupin said so! What did he do there? What business did he have in my parents' house?'
'Professor Snape was there on my orders, Harry,' said Dumbledore gravely, 'he was there on a mission for the Order. It was my intention to tell you about it this morning. That was part of the reason why I had put those memories in my Pensieve.' He looked at Harry searchingly. 'But Harry, why don't you tell me what you wanted to see me about in the first place?'
Harry could see Snape looking at him with a strange expression on his face, almost as if he were nervous.
'It was nothing. I don't want to talk about it.'
'Are you sure? I had the impression it was something rather important you wanted to discuss with me, something that had been worrying you...'
'No – not while he is here, anyway,' Harry said pointing at Snape again.
'Oh, but I think this concerns Professor Snape too, Harry. You know it does, don't you?'
'No – I don't know what you mean! Why should it concern Snape?'
'Professor Snape, Harry,' said Dumbledore gently.
'I DON'T HAVE TO CALL HIM PROFESSOR IF HE'S MY FATHER, DO I?' Harry shouted at the top of his voice. There was a ringing silence during which both Snape and Dumbledore stared at Harry, who couldn't believe what he had just said. He had to get out of there, immediately! He turned to the door, but before he could open it he felt Dumbledore's hand on his arm, holding him back with a surprising amount of strength. He turned around again, furiously, and caught sight of Snape's face over Dumbledore's shoulder. There was an expression on it that Harry had never seen before, and he wasn't entirely sure what it was. Could it be ... sorrow?
'Is it true?' Harry whispered incredulously. 'Did you... did you... with my mum?!'
Snape nodded hesitantly. Harry was shaking with anger, and he didn't even notice that Dumbledore's grip on his arm had tightened considerably.
'How could you?' he roared. 'How COULD you, you disgusting... you vile... you filthy...'
'Calm down, Harry,' Dumbledore said soothingly.
'Don't you tell me to calm down!' Harry hissed. 'You knew about this! You knew about it and you didn't tell me. If you hadn't made him go there it wouldn't even have happened in the first place!'
Dumbledore sighed and surveyed him through his half-moon spectacles. 'Harry, unbelievable though it may seem, this is nobody's fault. None of us realised that you might be Professor Snape's son until you came back to Hogwarts this term, looking different. It is extremely rare, almost unheard of, for a child to be conceived under the influence of Polyjuice Potion. Professor Snape never suspected that it might have happened that night in Godric's Hollow...'
'THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE IT ALL RIGHT FOR HIM TO DECEIVE MY MUM THAT WAY!' Harry shouted.
Dumbledore sighed again. 'Under the circumstances, Professor Snape was forced to keep his disguise at any cost...'
'No, Headmaster,' Snape interrupted him, 'you needn't defend me. He is right. I should not have done what I did under any circumstances. I can say nothing in my defence except that I... that I loved Lily, very much. More than you could possibly imagine.'
Harry stared at him, unbelievingly. The thought of Snape being in love with anyone, let alone his mother, was unlikely to say the least. Harry couldn't imagine Snape being capable of such an emotion at all. And besides, he had once heard him call Lily a Mudblood.
'Harry, I know this is difficult for you to accept,' Dumbledore said, 'and I expect it will take some time for you to come to terms with it. But you had to know. You must agree with me on that.' He eyed Harry scrutinisingly. 'Perhaps it would be best for you to return to Gryffindor Tower now. I will see to it that you are excused from the rest of your classes this afternoon. If you want to talk more about this later, you may of course always come to my office.'
Harry turned on his heel, and without giving either of them a further look he swept out of the classroom, his black robes billowing behind him.