Piercing Silence
Standard Disclaimers Apply
A/N: Hey all, thanks for all the beautiful people who reviewed. I am so happy that the last chapter was so well received, I hope you guys like this chapter too. This chapter went through so many different revisions like you wouldn't believe. This chapter is dedicated to Jbella, thanks for helping me out. Also, there's a really, really long Review Responses coz I wanted to thank everyone personally for reviewing and answer questions that you guys posted. I hope you like this chapter!
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Chapter Six
(Dream Sequence, Flashback)
Kaoru sighed again as she plopped down on the sofa in Kenshin's apartment. She was visiting him while she scouted some apartments she could stay in. So far, the search was fruitless. Everything was either too expensive or it didn't meet Kenshin's approval.
"We have just wasted five hours of our lives that we would never get back again," Kaoru groaned in frustration. She watched Kenshin disappear into the kitchen and reappear with two cans of soda. He tossed her one and she caught it and yawned. "You know, that last apartment wasn't so bad," she commented.
"It had cockroaches."
"Small ones."
"…"
"Maybe I should consider getting a roommate? That way my parents won't have to shoulder the whole rent…someone can pay half and I pay half."
"Live with someone you don't know?"
Kaoru shrugged, "I'll know them soon enough. Besides, you can help me screen them."
"No, your parents won't allow you anyway."
"They might. You never know…" Kaoru sighed. "It's either that or I stay at a dorm and have to share a bathroom with loads of other people!" she wrinkled her nose. She popped open her can of soda and took a sip, looking morose. "Kenshin…" she whined. "What am I going to do?"
"Do you want to stay here?"
"Huh?"
He gave her a blank look, but Kaoru could tell he was annoyed with her. "Well, would you rather stay at a dorm?"
Kaoru blinked, "You're asking me to share your apartment with you?" she asked with disbelief. Everyone considered her his best friend, and in a way, Kaoru supposed that she was. Even so, Kenshin was still notoriously tight lipped, even around her. He was almost obsessive with his need for space and privacy and Kaoru often called him 'psychotic' to his face, knowing she was the only one who could ever get away with saying such a thing to him. "Are you serious?"
"I just said so didn't I?"
Kaoru shrieked in glee. Kenshin's off-campus apartment was everything she hoped for and knew she would never get. It was a two-bedroom apartment; spacious, luxurious and tastefully decorated it was also conveniently located within walking distance of the school campus. She had tried getting something in his building but every room had been full. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she cheered. "You won't even know I'm here, I promise and I'll pay half the rent and groceries…but I hope you don't expect me to cook…"
"I don't want to die yet."
Kaoru shot him a look and stuck out her tongue at him. "Very funny."
He shrugged and looked away.
Kaoru was too used to his attitude to take offense. "You won't regret it, I promise!"
"Hn."
"This is going to be perfect!"
.
Kaoru's eyes opened and she winced as a shaft of bright sunlight hit her unprepared retinas. She closed her eyes and turned away from the offending light source, still slightly disoriented with sleep.
She had been dreaming.
This is going to be perfect!
If only she had known exactly what her decision to room with Kenshin would bring; the changes in her life…and even in her personality. Would she still have been as excited? Would she still have said yes?
Probably.
No matter how much he hurt her, Kaoru knew she would never trade one moment spent with Kenshin for anything. Amidst the heartache, there was still that deep happiness she felt in his presence, a joy so strong it was almost pain.
Sunlight streamed from the half-opened blinds that covered the window in Kenshin's bedroom; highlighting the rumpled sheets, pillows, the clothes strewn around the floor and the empty space in bed beside her.
Kenshin was not there.
Kaoru sat up in bed, wrapping a blanket around her nakedness, feeling vulnerable in her state of undress. Last night had been an almost desperate joining as if they both knew it would be the last time. He had kept her awake most of the night, refusing to let her rest or even to breath.
Mine, you're mine…
"But you don't even want me!" Kaoru whispered hoarsely to the empty room. "All you want is ownership, isn't it? Not me but owning me."
Such revelations were hard to come-by, especially when blinded by love and Kaoru supposed that her own epiphany had come at the price of her innocence.
You would never forget your first love…and Kenshin had been the first of many things for Kaoru.
First Kiss.
First Touch.
First Date.
First heartache.
First heartbreak.
It would take her a long time to recover from this and she hated him for ruining her. She loved him still, but she hated him with equal passion for Kaoru now knew that all her relationships after this would always be tainted by the memory of Kenshin.
The thought struck a chord within her and made Kaoru double over and moan as an undecipherable feeling enveloped her in a dark cloud borne of grief, anger, sorrow and despair.
The need to escape him and this place was so strong that her limbs trembled with it.
With shaking hands, Kaoru reached for her clothes and put them on as quickly as she could.
She needed to get out NOW before Kenshin came back.
Her resolve to leave was strong, but Kaoru was not sure how long she could last against Kenshin. God, how is it that a part of her still longed for him to ask her to stay? She wanted to leave him…but what if he asked her not to go? Would her sense of self-preservation stand up against Kenshin and her stubborn and destructive need to stay at his side?
"I don't really want to find out…" she murmured as she reached the door and turned the knob.
.
Kaoru's steps faltered when she caught sight of Kenshin sitting on the couch in the living room. She was thankful that her long raven hair shielded her face from his view and afforded her the luxury of looking at him. His profile was to her but he didn't turn to look even though she knew he was aware of her presence.
He didn't look rested at all. His hair, always kept impeccably neat, was down his back in a tousled mass. He was only wearing his pajama bottoms leaving his bare chest in display. Various bruises and marks were on his skin and Kaoru knew she sported similar markings on her body as a reminder of last night. She froze when he turned his head her way and she could see his violet eyes bore into her blue ones through the thick fall of her black hair.
Her heart thudded against her ribcage and time seemed to stop and expand into eternity.
Perhaps it was her anger, her outrage, her grief, her long since suppressed sense of self preservation or a combination of all four emotions, but something inside Kaoru willed her into motion.
MOVE NOW!
Kaoru's breath rushed in a gasp and her feet moved so suddenly and the next thing she knew, she was pushing the door of her room closed and locking it before she rested her back against the wooden panel, her chest heaving as she breathed in and out laboriously. She was shaking, her hands trembling at the remembered look in Kenshin's face for that one brief moment when his eyes had locked with hers.
Pain lanced through her chest and she collapsed on the floor, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her head on her arms.
Kenshin…
She wanted to despise him, but how could she when she'd spent most of the past year loving him with all of her heart? She took a moment to collect herself before she staggered to her feet and went to her closet to pull out her suitcase. She needed to leave, now more than ever she needed to leave him.
The look in his eyes...
It was too much…
He terrified her.
.
Her shower was broken and Kaoru made do with the faucet. She washed her face and scrubbed as much of herself as she could. She could still feel his touch on her, his lips on her and she could still smell him on her skin and she didn't want that.
Kaoru pulled a fresh pair of pants, a long sleeved turtleneck and pulled on a jacket over her clothes. It was as if she was using her clothes as an extra layer of protection; an armor against Kenshin. Kaoru realized this as she studied her reflection in the mirror, but she didn't care.
With one last look around the room, she turned her back on everything.
She twisted the knob and stepped out into the living room once more.
She had taken her time in packing and preparing, half-hoping and half-praying that Kenshin would be gone by the time she left.
No such luck.
He was still there; still seated in the same position he had been when she'd first spotted him. At the sound of her door opening, he turned his head and studied her once more, chronicling her clothing and the fact that she had her suitcase in one hand and a resolute look in her eyes.
He lifted an eyebrow. "Where do you think you're going?"
Kaoru froze.
"Where are you going?" he asked again.
"I'm going to go home," Kaoru answered softly as she turned to leave.
"Do you really want to leave?"
"You don't want me here."
"I never said such a thing."
Kaoru didn't even dignify that remark with a response.
"Kaoru…stop."
She didn't.
I'm sorry Kenshin…
"Don't go Kaoru…"
Just a few more steps Kamiya! You can do it! The door is right there, all you have to do is reach out, turn the knob, step outside and you're free!
Kaoru heard the rustle of fabric as Kenshin stood up and she heard the footfalls as he rushed to her. She reached out a hand, twisted the doorknob and opened the door just before his body came up against her from behind. The palm of his hand shot out and slammed the door shut before she could walk out and Kaoru found her self trapped between the wooden panel and Kenshin.
Oh God…
"Let me go!"
"No."
"Kenshin please!" Kaoru said desperately as she struggled to open the door. The suitcase dropped from her fingers as she put both hands on the doorknob and pulled with all her might.
It was still not enough. His whole weight was leaning into the door, managing to block her attempts at pulling it open. "Kenshin, stop this!"
"You can't go," Kenshin said as one hand snaked around her waist, the other still firmly braced against the door.
Kaoru concentrated on getting his arm away from her. "Let go!"
"No," he said as he continued to hold her, pressing her against the door so that her movements were limited, his arm tightened around her waist.
Kaoru knew he had her well and duly trapped and tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. She lashed out against him, angry that he had reduced her to this. "Why are you doing this to me!" she demanded as she tried to break free of his hold. "Let me go! I want to leave!"
"No…" he whispered, his lips brushing against her hair. "You can't leave me…"
Her hands were trapped against the door so Kaoru kicked him in the shins, trying to make him let her go. His hold on her didn't loosen. Even though he wasn't holding her tight enough to cause her pain, his grip was still firm and Kaoru's movements were severely limited. Still, she struggled, like a cornered animal fighting for its life. Tears were running unchecked down her cheeks and Kaoru had never felt so lost or powerless as she did at that moment. She was taking great big gulps of shuddering breaths as she fought to breath through her sobs.
Kenshin turned her around in his arms so she faced him before he jerked her forward in an embrace. Both his arms locked around her and his hand circled her back in soothing caresses. "Don't Kaoru…its okay baby…don't cry…"
"Please Kenshin…please just let me go…" Kaoru groaned as she felt her insides twist. "Don't do this to me, please…"
"I can't…"
Kaoru rested her forehead against his shoulder and panted for breath.
She felt Kenshin bury his face against her neck, his breath warm puffs of air against her skin.
"Let me go Kenshin," she said tiredly.
"Please don't leave me…"
.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so scared. The terror was like a dark beast inside of him, threatening to devour him. His heart pumped blood through his veins, making him acutely aware of every one of his senses. He could smell her scent and feel the heat of her skin even through the layers of his clothing. He could still taste her on his lips and he could hear her rapid breathing and the beating of her heart.
"Please don't leave me…" he said as he closed his eyes and leaned against her. Memories he'd tried to suppress for so long surged up against the mental barriers he'd carefully constructed and set up in his mind as images of the past overwhelmed him.
Blood dripped from his fingers and the metallic tang of it filled the air and invaded his senses. He could still remember the screaming and the pleading and realizing that he was going to die. He could remember the tears streaming down his cheeks as his three sisters tried to hide him.
Don't leave me oneesan!
Oneesan!
No!
No mama, don't!
Oneesan!
He could still remember the look in their eyes.
Don't leave me, stay…stay here don't leave me…
"Run Kenshin, run and hide!"
"No!"
"Run Kenshin, please you have to try and stay alive…she's insane!"
"Oneesan!"
Sakura!
Kasumi!
Akane!
Don't leave me!
Please don't leave me!
He didn't want to be alone.
His arms wrapped around Kaoru as he brought her in close against him. "Don't leave me…" Kenshin whispered hoarsely as he buried his face in her neck, "Don't leave me Kaoru…"
.
"Please don't leave me…"
He was…
He was begging her to stay…
Kaoru was so stunned by this that she automatically leaned back from his embrace to look at his face and judge for her self he was indeed the one speaking or if she had just imagined it.
His violet eyes met hers. "Don't leave me…" he said.
She looked up at him and cupped his cheek, her heart twisting painfully in her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she shook her head. "I can't…I have to…"
He grasped her to him painfully, as he buried his face in her neck once more. He shook his head in negation of her words. "Please…don't…"
Kaoru didn't know what to do.
Her mind knew she had to leave.
But how could she leave him like this?
He was shaking and Kaoru was getting scared.
She'd only ever seen him like this once before, when they were in high school. She had realized she had started to fall in love with him and had tried to keep her distance. She wasn't stupid and it was obvious to her, even then, that Kenshin was not a good boyfriend material. He didn't want to have a relationship and would only see her attraction to him as a nuisance. Kaoru had tried to keep away from him before her 'crush' on him blossomed into something more. She wanted to prevent a disaster, and she would have been successful if he hadn't shown up that day on her way home from school.
It had been raining then and Kaoru was running with her umbrella firmly in her hands. She was late in getting home and her parents must surely be worried. She had just exited the school building when she spotted him.
He was standing there leaning against the wall and when he heard her, he turned his head and looked at her with the most haunting expression Kaoru had ever seen on anyone before.
"You're avoiding me."
Kaoru opened her mouth but found that she didn't know what to say. Instead of lie to him and make him angry at her, she nodded instead.
"I see."
Kaoru shifted a little. "You're getting wet."
"Why do you care?"
"You're my friend."
"But you're avoiding me."
Kaoru bit her lip. "Have you been here long?"
He shrugged.
"Are you waiting for someone?"
"Not anymore…"
His teeth had been chattering from the cold, but he didn't seem to pay any attention to the shivers that wracked his body. Kaoru frowned and stepped closer to him, holding her umbrella over both of them. "You're going to get sick if you stay out here too long. Come on, I'll walk you to your apartment since it's on the way home."
.
"Please, please don't leave me…"
She had stayed with him that night…he lived alone in his apartment and she had fixed him tea and made him take a bath and change his clothes so he wouldn't get sick. She had slept with him on the same bed but they hadn't done anything. At that point in their relationship, they had only been friends. Kenshin had spent the night sleeping in Kaoru's arms, his arms around her as he held her tightly in his sleep.
It was the night she acknowledged that fighting it was useless.
She was falling in love with him.
There was no going back anymore.
It was too late.
.
It was too late.
Kaoru's shoulders shook as tears fell unchecked down her cheek. Oh God, she was in too deep. She couldn't…she couldn't leave him. Anger at herself, her weakness and her stupidity, spurned her to cry. How could she do this to herself?
How could she love him so much?
How could she stay with him after the way he treated her?
"Don't cry…" Kenshin whispered hoarsely as each shuddering sob that escaped her plunged a knife of pain into his heart. "Please Kaoru…don't cry…"
"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered against the bare skin of his shoulder.
He didn't have an answer.
Kaoru sobbed against him. "I don't deserve to be treated this way Kenshin! It's either you want me or you don't." Her fisted hand beat against his chest to emphasize her point.
"…"
"I'm not your slave and I'm not a whore! I'm not some sort of doll you can pick up and play with when you're bored and then throw away when you don't feel like playing!"
"I'm so sorry…"
"You can't keep treating me this way! I'm a person too!"
"I know…"
"I'm not just some girl Kenshin. We started out as friends, I'm your friend too…you can't just treat me like I'm some kind of sex toy you wind up when you want it!"
He was surprised to hear that and he pushed her away from him gently so he could look down at her face. His hands smoothed her hair off of her face so that nothing hid her eyes from his view. "Do you really believe that?" he asked, devastated that he'd made her feel like she was just some random receptacle to his desire. Never in his life had he dreamed he was making her feel this way.
"You treat me like that…" Kaoru hiccupped.
"I'm sorry koishii…" he said as he kept his eyes locked on hers. "I didn't intend for you to feel that way. I never wanted to hurt you Kaoru, the last thing I want is to hurt you."
"Then why do you?"
"Because I don't know how to be anything else…I don't…" Kenshin rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I'm not Shin. I'm not dewy eyed and I don't smile idiotically all the time. Maybe you're better off with someone like him. Someone who isn't afraid to show you how much he cares, someone who has no problem expressing his emotions. You might even be happier with him than with me…"
Kaoru had thought these same thoughts in the past but it all ended up with the same conclusion. It was Kenshin she loved and he was all that she ever wanted and needed to be happy.
Not Shin.
Not anyone else.
Just Kenshin.
"He might be better for you in the long run, but I don't care." Kenshin tilted Kaoru's head up further and made sure her eyes were locked onto his. "You're mine and I'm not letting you go, do you understand? I can't let you go because I need you with me. I need you too damn much…"
"Then why do you push me away?" Kaoru asked, mesmerized by the amber swirls under the violet of his eyes.
"Because I don't want to need you! Needing you makes me weak! You make me lose control of myself."
"Kenshin, I need you too. There's nothing wrong with loving someone."
"Yes there is. I don't love like other people Kaoru…" Kenshin said as he remembered that one fateful night he'd been trying to shove away into his subconscious for as long as he can remember. "I'm scared that I'm like my mother…I don't want to hurt you…"
"What are you talking about?" Kaoru asked. She knelt on the floor, dragging Kenshin down with her. He was shaking so hard that she was also trembling. His skin felt cold and clammy under her palms and she wanted to make whatever it was that was causing him distress go away. "Kenshin…?"
"My mother…she…she…" he shook his head. "I'm sorry, I can't…Kaoru…I can't…"
Kaoru clasped him to her chest, stroking his hair comfortingly. "It's okay…shhhh, don't cry Kenshin it's okay…"
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"You can tell me when you're ready honey. You don't have to tell me right now."
"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"
"It's okay baby, it's okay…"
"Don't leave."
"I won't…I promise."
.
Kaoru sat with her back against the door, Kenshin's head on her lap as he slept. Her fingers played with his hair as she replayed all that had transpired the past few hours. She had some answers and clues as to what made Kenshin tick, but it wasn't nearly enough.
Kaoru's heart broke as she remembered the pain, the fear and the desperation that had colored Kenshin's words. She had wanted him to open up to her but she'd never wanted to see him like that. She'd never imagined that he harbored such pain inside.
"What hurt you?" she asked softly as she traced the faint mark of a scar across his cheek. "Who did this to you?
Kenshin moved in his sleep, his hand tightening its hold against her leg.
He had too much pain and it was obvious it weighed heavily on him. She didn't know how to reach him and she was scared he would suffer more if she questioned him further. She was scared and a part of her still wanted to leave, wanted to escape whatever it is that she'd found herself involved in. She wanted to be a normal girl with a normal boyfriend and a normal life.
But she loved Kenshin too much and as much as he scared her at times, she still loved him. She wanted to stay with him.
I don't love like other people Kaoru…
I don't want to hurt you…
"What exactly did your mother do Kenshin?"
And why are you afraid that you'll do the same thing to me?
Kaoru started to cry once more.
She wanted out…but it was too late.
Love was like a shackle and it tied her to Kenshin as surely as a physical chain.
She couldn't live with him…but she knew she couldn't live without him. Something had to change between them if they were going to make their relationship work. It was going to be hard and it was going to be painful but it was the only way if they were going to survive.
Too much…
It was too much…
"What are we going to do?" Kaoru asked the empty room.
Silence answered her.
Whether it was hopeful or foreboding, she didn't know.
.
A/N: I wanted them to experience a bit of happiness before the angst truly begins and I rip their world apart and to pieces. (Evil Laugh) A bit of Kenshin's past is revealed. Any guesses on what his mom did? By the way, the three girls mentioned are the slave girls who tried to save little Shinta before Hiko found him. Thanks to kimi.the.water.spirit for the information!
REVIEW RESPONSES
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Ahria – I'm glad you enjoy reading my story, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review.
CryingOro – Here you go, I don't want you going insane (grins) so here's the next chapter. Please review.
Hajimemashite – I'm glad you like my story so much. The reason for Kenshin behavior is sort of shown in this chapter but that's not all. Our pretty boy has been through a lot and his past will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. Expect lots of crying and angst as well as anger and pain for them all. (grins) Please review.
Skenshingumi – glad you like my fic. Kaoru didn't move out though she was all set too. I wanted to give them a ray of sunshine first before I pour of the rain. The angst has only just begun…hope you weren't disappointed.
Anonymous – glad you like the story. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review.
Serenity – Sorry for the cliffhangers. Anyway, here you go the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Pls. review.
Sango-chan70 – I know, he's so sexy right? I'm glad you like the story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls review.
Perseverance – Whoot! Thanks so much for adding me to your favorite list! I LOVE long reviews so feel free to leave me really long ones. I know, I am somewhat obsessed with dark possessive fics though I know my attempts to write it is not as good as other. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please review. Make it as long as you like! (grins)
Kamikushi – Awww, thanks for saying that! Thank you so much for review, I hope you liked this chapter! Pls. Review!
Cherryblossom – here you go, the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.
Bunny angel – I know, passion is a double-edged sword. Don't worry, Kenshin has a really, really good reason for the way he acts and his breakdown is only the tip of the iceberg.
Lily-petal – Glad you liked my fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review.
Chikifriend – Hey! I choked when I read your review! (grins) Nah, I'm not writing for experience…! (blushes) I'm glad you like the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one too. Please tell me what you thought. Thanks.
Milady Goddess – Yeah, I love happy endings too. You know my favorite quote? It's 'Sometimes you can cry on the way to a happy ending' – At First Sight. (grins) Hope you liked this chapter, please review.
Kuroi-chan – OMG, I made you cry? YAY! That means you really love the story and the characters! (grins) Yup, Kaoru so belongs with Battousai! Anyway, what did you think of this chapter? Did it make you cry too? (blinks innocently) I hope you enjoyed it! Pls. Review.
Makotokaba – Well, Kaoru didn't leave but she did attempt it though. Don't worry, the angst has only just begun. Just wanted them to have a little bit of light in their life before I mess it up again. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review.
La Magdalena – Wow, I'm glad you found my story and that you liked it. Kaoru is keeping silent mostly because she is uncertain of where she stands with Kenshin in the first few chapters. Finally, she decides to leave hence Kenshin's reaction and semi-breakdown. Kenshin has a lot of reason to act the way he does, those reasons will be revealed eventually as the fic progresses. Anyway, hope you liked this installation. Please review! Thanks.
Aa – Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like the fic and like how I am portraying Kenshin and Kaoru. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review. Thanks.
Crisa Rei – When I read the first part of your review with the 'I don't like it' my heart sank…and then I read the rest and I was laughing when I got to the oranges. (grins) I get nervous when I write limes too so I've never attempted a lemon. Anyway, glad you liked the fic and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!
Obsessed fan – Glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Kaoru didn't move out although she attempted too. This chapter went through different revisions so it took longer than anticipated to get out. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it and please review!
Whoot – Glad you liked it. Here you go, I updated. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! Thanks.
Animegirl38 – I love Kenshin too! (smiles) I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you think!
Kitsune – Hi! I love Youko Kurama! (fan girl squeal) Anyway, yeah Kaoru finally got some backbone but darn, Kenshin's so irresistible she wasn't able to leave! Not when he seemed like a wounded animal just then. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!
Videl621 – Hey Videl! Ooh, how old are the kids you take care of? I love kids just as long as they are between one and five years old, above that…I return them to their mommies, my aunts and cousins. (grins) I love toddlers. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Yeah, couldn't exactly make Kaoru leave him. NOT YET anyway. Please review! Thanks.
Hyperbunniewabbit – thanks, I'm glad you think it's well written. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review!
Crystal Winds – Wow, you made me smile with your review. (Hugs CW) Thanks for the compliment! Though, I doubt I am one of the best. Yeah, it's the complete opposite of OWY, the next chapter of that will come out soon so look out for it. Anyway, glad you like this story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!
Sailor Kagome – I'm your favorite author? Thank you so much! (hugs) and you think I actually have talent? (grins like a crazy person) Thank you! I loved you review…I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't worry, the angst is yet to begin so let Ken and Kao be happy for a bit. Please review!
Kura-sama – Thanks for the clarifications. I know, language is weird like in Japan 'Ban' means evening but in English 'Ban' means something else. And with Koi, it's funny that it's also a fish and like in the koi pond. (grins) AS for the fic, Kaoru may have stayed for now but the story is not over yet. It will get darker and at times, disturbingly so. Kenshin's little revelation is only the tip of the iceberg and there are still more crying and pain in store for them both.
Kimi.the.water.spirit. – Hey there! Thanks for the helpful info. Anyway, I hope you liked this next chapter and good like with your writing!
Rirfytll – I love alternate pairings as well. I write mainly Aoshi/Kaoru alternate pairings and have never attempted a Sano/Kaoru although you've got me thinking about the possibilities of that pairing. Anyway, don't worry there will be more Sano/Kaoru cuteness to come but I can't make him take Kaoru away from Kenshin or Sano may end up dead at some back alley somewhere courtesy of a jealous Battousai. (grins) Please review! Don't worry though, Kenshin has a reason for acting like an ass and when it's all revealed, I'm pretty sure you'll love him again.
Reignashii – Oh no, I'm not accusing you of posting it on another sight! I was kind of amused that you had to do that and I'm so thankful that you still find the time to leave me reviews. Thanks so much! (hugs) Hope you liked this chapter!
SweetestChick – Yeah, I couldn't let Kaoru leave Kenshin…but the story is not over yet. (Evil Grin) I'm glad you are enjoying the dark mood I am trying to invoke in this fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review.
S3r3nity – Oh yes I so did miss you! What are you up to now? I'm glad you dropped by to leave me a review and I'm glad you're enjoying this story. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!
IcE-BaNdIt – I love your review. I do try to make it as emotional as possible. Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait. Did you enjoy it? Please tell me what you thought!
Strawberry Promises – Hey there! So, did you like this chapter? It answered the question you posted in your review. Anyway, please tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thank you!
Jane Drew – I love angst and hopefully, this chapter contained enough angst. I was kind of insecure about posting it and it underwent lots and lots of rewrites. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, please tell me what you think! Oh and update Frozen Moonlight, please! Thanks. (grins)
Mellysiavaj – Hi there! It's always a pleasure to hear from you! Thanks for all the support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please tell me what you think. Thank you!
T – OMG. LOVE your review! I love how you said each chapter gave you a pain in the chest or something because when I read really good angst fic/books, it's the way I feel. The fact that I manage to invoke the same reaction with someone else makes me feel happy about my story. I'm glad you like it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. Please review!
Kenshin's grl – Oh, naughty idea! I bet if Kaoru did stay with Sano, Kenshin will show up and kick the door open and haul Kaoru back to their apartment. (grins at mental image) Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!
Venus goddess – Did you enjoy this chapter? I hope you did but it's okay if you didn't! Give me an honest critique. Anyway, more of Kenshin's past is revealed and it is just the tip of the iceberg. Pls. Review! Thanks.
Crying Oro – Oh hey, yeah, you did review twice didn't you? (grins) I just noticed now. Anyway, don't forget to review and I hope you liked this chapter!
A.B.C Otaku – Well lemon, as far as I know, is a very graphic sex scene, like very detailed. Lime is also like sex scene but less detailed. Like, you know something happened but they didn't say how or go through the mechanics. Also, I think lime is necking and stuff like that. Hn, now you've got me confused too! LOL. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter. Please review!
Paisita – I'm glad you love my story. Yeah, the story is about to get even darker with Kenshin's past showing it's ugly head, but before the angst I'm going to make Kenshin and Kaoru happy first before I make them suffer even more. (evil grin) I'm so bad, but don't worry it's all part of the story.
Erica6060 – Well, Kaoru didn't leave but I still hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me what you thought of it. Thank you!
Misau – Well, Kaoru didn't leave. Did you like this chapter? What did you think of it? Please tell me, thanks!
Vision2 – Oh this is one of your favorites? I'm glad. I hope you enjoyed this chapter; it was hard to write. Anyway, please review! Thanks!
Tintin-chan – I'm glad you liked the last for lines. I thought they made a good ending for the chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!
Kaoru Kamiya – Ooh, I made you cry? YAY! That means you care for the characters and the story! I'm so happy that you liked the last chapter. Did you like this one? Please tell me what you think!
KatsunoCZ – Hi! I love you review! Wow, aching? I feel that way when I read really good angst books or fics and I'm so happy I managed to invoke the same feeling in someone else with my writing! Thanks so much for the encouragement. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and wasn't disappointed! Pls. Review! Thanks!
Nel – I know, she's kawawa right? But in this chapter, it's Kenshin who suffers more and we get to see his past a little bit and it's only the tip of the iceberg. Poor guy, I tortured him so much…(wicked grin) anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Please review!
Clemen – Kenshin suffered a lot of trauma when he was younger, the whole mother thing is just the tip of the ice berg hence his 'psychotic' behavior. Anyway, more angst to come but I wanted them to have a little but of light in their relationship first before I really torture them. (grins)
Scarlet Rayne – This chapter showed a bit more of Kaoru's girl power I think. Hn…what do you think? Did you like this chapter? Anyway, when are you gonna update Broken? I am so waiting for the next chapter…(grins) Pls. Review!
Alex – Glad you like it. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!
Cyjj – thanks for the review! I'm very happy you like my story and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Pls. Review!
Ginny-cry – Wow, addicting? Cool. Yay, BK FOREVER! (grins) I love that pairing. Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!
Ri-nee-chan – Hey there! Yup, Kenshin as an assassin would have been too much. Lots of fic like that already exists so I thought I'd deviate a bit. His past is given a bit of light in this chapter, but not much. Can you guess what his mom did? (evil grin) and that's only the tip of the iceberg of Kenshin's troubles. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Ninie – Hi! Thanks so much for the praises and encouragement. I tried to get this out as soon as I could but it underwent some major rewrites and hopefully this chapter was worth the wait. Did you like it? Pls. Review!
Gypsy-chan – Hi! Wow, did you know that you are really famous? I think so, I mean your websites are known in the RK community and it's where I got most of my info in the beginning before I started writing RK fics. Destiny's Gateway, I wonder what happened to that though? I tried accessing it but it wouldn't show anymore, did you take it down or maybe I have a problem with my computer? Anyway, I am so very honored that you actually like my fics and thanks so much for the long reviews. It inspires me and I love reading them. Thanks for the support and I hope this chapter wasn't disappointing.
Battosaichick – darn it, just a couple more steps and she would've been free! (grins) Oh well, anyway, this is only the beginning of the story. More angst to come. Did you like the chapter? Please review! Thanks.
Princess-oro – Unfortunately, I am one of those rare unfortunate people who have not watched Fruits Basket as of yet. I do love Aoshi though. He's major kick-ass gorgeous with the whole silent bad boy attitude. (sigh) Plus, he's tall which is a major plus factor on his side against Kenshin, though Kenshin's cute too my mind just shies away from thinking about his height too much…Kenshin's only 5'2. I just imagine him taller.
Scythe195 – hey there! As always, nice to hear from you. Glad you like the last chapter. Did you like this one too? Please review! Thanks!
Lonely-star07 – Glad you enjoy my fic! (grins) Okay, here's the update, now it's your turn. Tell me what you thought of it. (smiles) Please review! Thanks!
Tiaravball15 – Don't worry, Kenshin will go all possessive, especially in the latter part of the story near the end which is still quite a few chapters away. More characters need to be introduced first plus some revelations before that happens. Anyway, about Belonging, Aoshi will not get his heart broken but neither will Kenshin, how is that going to happen? (grins) Read to find out! Oh and I'm actually planning to write a prequel to Belonging where it discusses how Aoshi actually met Kaoru and the progress of their relationship before the whole Battousai incident. It's going to be a long while before it start it though, cuz I wanna finish Belonging first. What do you think, should I go for it?
Jbella – Well, I already told you thanks. And thanks for the E-mail too, it gave me the confidence to manage to post this up, finally. Thanks again!
Mini-Moonstar – Wow, you actually think people would buy my books? Cool! I'm planning on taking up Creative Writing/Literature/Journalism when I get to college. I want to be a screenwriter though. Not in Hollywood but in Asia since I kind of prefer the way movies are made here instead of in the West. No offense to Westerners but they just ruined The Ring. The original Japanese version was so much scarier.
Carebear-chan – Very long and thought-out review, I loved reading it and thank you so much for it! Kenshin's character in this fic has started to unravel but that's just the tip of the iceberg. He's been through a lot, poor guy. New characters will pop into their lives as well as new problems will arise, hopefully the two of them will be able to survive it. (kind of vague, but didn't want to give out the major plot points)
MZ. AMber EYES – Hi! I am one of those few people who do not have IM and stuff like that. I am too lazy to wait for it to download into my computer so I haven't actually been able to talk to anyone in except via E-mails. Sorry if the dialogues are a bit rough and awkward, I'm actually more inclined to make them just silent and quiet and thinking. I love meaningful silences. Anyway, I hope this chapter wasn't too much of a disappointment. Promise, Kaoru will get strong and Kenshin will have to go through hell to get her but that'll be later on. I wanted them to have some sweet moments together first before I pour on the hard-core angst. (smiles)
Haein – How's he going to react when Kaoru does attempt to leave? I think this chapter answered your question. Anyway, did you like it? Hate it? Please tell me what you think!
Triste1 – Hey there! I read that you went out and bought The Wedding? Cool fic huh? So funny. Anyway, I also love another author her name is Susan Elizabeth Phillips and you should check out her books Kiss an Angel and my favorite, Heaven Texas. Actually, all her books are fabulous. On to your review, glad you liked the last chapter. Don't worry about the ending. One of my favorite quotes is 'Sometimes you can cry on the way to a happy ending' – At First Sight. Ooh, my Kenshin reminds you of the actual Battousai? Cool. The poor boy (in this fic) has been through a lot and the little glimpse of his trauma is only just the tip of the iceberg and there's more angst to come.
Nilnil – Oh, you almost cried? Hn, I will do my best to actually make you cry! (grins) I've had some people tell me they actually did cry though…how about this chapter? Did you cry or almost cried? Or did you just stare at the screen in disgust and say 'what a lame chapter?' (sniffles) anyway, please review! Thanks!
Autumn Shadow – Kaoru didn't get to leave…so what did you think about the chapter? Love it, hate it? Disappointed? Please review! Thanks.
Thaz nice – Hi! Yup, I make it a point to reply to my reviewers coz usually they have questions and stuff about the fic or I just wanted to reply. Even though it makes for horrendously long Author's Notes on my part. (grins) Aw, you also read OWY? Glad you support my fics! Also, thanks for saying I'm a great writer! (grins) Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!
Kenshinlover2002 – Don't worry, lots more twists and turns to come plus the darkness of this fic is only just beginning. It would probably get disturbing in a bit but not for a while…anyway, I hope you liked the little glimpse of Kenshin's past. Did you like this chapter? Please review!
AbFabJill – Thanks for the review! Here you go, next chapter! Please tell me what you thought of it!
Sweet angel – thanks. The number of people who review are a lot aren't they? I just love you guys! Thanks for the support and encouragement. Yeah, I kind of did feel that a bit too, hopefully this chapter is better but if you don't think so, feel free to tell me. I appreciate an honest critique coz it helps me write better! Thanks you! Please review! (grins)
Pinay Tiger – Hi girl! How are you? Anyway, hope everything's fine with you! I love the review, as always! I'm glad that you pick up on the love beneath the pain. This fic is going to get a lot darker as it progresses so there needs to be love all it all just falls apart. So, what did you think of this chapter? Like it? Hate it? Please review!
Lyphta – Thanks for the review and the encouragement! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter! Thanks
Nekotsuki – hey there! (hugs) How are you? I know, so many reviews huh? You should know, you get a whole bunch too! There's even this fic that is based on your fanfic, isn't it? LOL! Wow, you're like an idol now! (grins) I know, stupid grammar and spelling errors. No matter how hard you try to weed them out, they always seem to escape detection. (sigh) So, how did you like this chapter? Please review!
Brittanie Love – Hi! I'm so glad you support my fics. I think I already said this before but again, you are awesome and I appreciate you very, very much! (grins) Thanks for the encouragement and I hope you weren't disappointed with this chapter.
Mi-nyan – Ooh, love balloons too. Especially the ones in the stick with all the diff. Shapes? Okay well anyway Kaoru stayed with Kenshin and Kenshin had a breakdown of sorts…sigh. This fic is entering the next stage of angst where new characters will pop up and old scars will be revealed. (grins) But first, some Ken/Kao goodness.
Kao-gurl – Hey there, I heard that you mistook me for someone else on Adult Fan Fiction. No, it wasn't me, I didn't write the Inuyasha version of Back Home To You. Some people contacted me about this and then when I checked it out, the other author already took down her fic. Anyway, on with your review, don't worry about the sadness and angst in this fic, it all just serves to highlight their love for each other.
GranolaBar – Poor Kaoru…but poor Kenshin too since he's been through a lot. The mom thing is only like part of his whole problem. There's actually more and the fic gets disturbing and dark the more they delve into Kenshin's past and how Kaoru reacts to it and how it affects their future.
…. – Hn, I think you are right. It is getting a bit depressing. And the angst has actually just started since there are even more painful revelations and scenes to come. (sigh) Tormenting Kenshin and Kaoru seems to be the motif for this fic huh? (grins)
Pagan – Thanks! Here you go, I updated. So what did you think of this chapter? Like it? Hate it? Disappointed? Please review!
Bradybunch4529 – Wow, did you know that you actually write one of the most eloquent reviews I've ever received. Your reviews in and of themselves are almost like literary pieces with the descriptiveness and just the way you write it. It always makes me smile. I'm happy you liked the last line.
Kaoru4 – Well Kaoru didn't leave YET, but this is just the beginning of the story. The real plot begins to unfold from here on end and the angst will pour in on later chapters. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter and wasn't disappointed. About the bundle…hn, I have plans for that…plans that will tear Kenshin's heart out. (evil grin)
Pego – Yeah, it's kind of tiring but I like interacting with my readers. Sometimes I finish a chapter and have to postpone posting it for a day or two because I have to write the responses. Anyway, it's all good. Nope, don't write Lemons. For me, they are scary and I haven't attempted one yet though some people are telling to go for it. Perhaps, I dunno. I'm writing an Inuyasha crossover. His Golden Eyes, did you read it? I have the next chapter ready but I'm not sure if its any good so I'm postponing posting it. (sigh) Anyhow, hope you liked this chapter!
EB – I know, it's getting darker huh? So, what did you think of this chapter? Like it, hate it? Please review and tell me! Thank you!
Moshi Moshi Mai – Thanks for the review! So, did you like this chapter? What did you think of it?
Half-breed-demon-fox – thanks for the review and the support that you give my stories! So, did you like this chapter? Hate it? Please review!
Gohanzgrl – So, Kaoru said things are going to have to change between them, but she's scared because Kenshin is scaring her with his reactions. I think I would be scared to if my boyfriend was like that. Kaoru is a normal girl whose never had a tragedy in life, to find herself right smack in the middle of Kenshin's tragic existence…she loves him but she is still scared of what their future together would bring. What did you think of this chapter? Please review!
Youkai chick supreme – Did you like this chapter? Kaoru was all set to leave…and then she was fighting him so she could leave…but Kenshin had a breakdown and Kaoru loved him too much to leave him in that state. I think, even if you didn't love a person that much, you shouldn't leave them if they are in the state Kenshin was…I love torturing them both and the angst has yet to begin!
CharlieTheOtakuNymph – LOVED, LOVE, LOVED your review! Thanks you, it was very inspiring! I'm glad you liked my story and I hope that this chapter wasn't at all a disappointment, although if it was please tell me so I can better my writing. Thanks!
Pyramidgirl89 – Haven't really gotten very far with MARS. All I know about it is that some of the poplar guy's girl attacks the heroine of the story…? I wasn't able to check out the whole manga just the first part and synopsis of the plot. Uh, which site were you talking about? It got erased in your review…could you E-mail it to me? Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter! Please review! Thanks.
Lendra-chan – Hi, thanks for the review! So, what did you think about this chapter? Like it? Hate it? please tell me what you think! Thanks!
MuSiCAdDiCtRyE - Glad you liked it! Please review neh? Thanks!
Clamsofmacabre - You were the first reviewer for the last chapter! Yup, of course your review made me happy! I hope you liked this chapter and wasn't disappointed! Please tell me what you thought of it. Thanks!
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