You're Not the Only One in Need

Part Three
Bright light filled the room as Jack struggled to open his eyes. His head throbbed with pain. Although disoriented, he noticed three very
important things. One - he had woken up on his living room sofa. Two - he was only wearing a t-shirt and socks. Three - he was completely alone.

Wrapping a blanket around his waist, he rose from the sofa. He spied his boxer shorts and pants from the previous evening pooled on the
floor and had to put forth considerable effort to bend over and pick them up without aggravating his aching body and head.

Jack slipped them on and made his way towards the master bathroom, along the way memories from the previous evening flooding his mind. He suddenly wondered where Sam had gone. He worried that she had escaped in the early morning hours, too ashamed to face him when he woke up.

As he passed his guest bathroom, he could hear the shower running. He smiled to himself, relieved that she was still there and hadn't
snuck out in the middle of the night. To him, it was a good sign that she wasn't sorry about what had happened between them. And the thought of that thrilled him.

The sound of the shower suddenly stopped and he heard the sound of her voice filtering through the door. Unable to control his curiosity, Jack listened intently through the closed door.

The tone of Sam's voice was both fearful and chiding. "Stupid... Stupid... Stupid... What the hell were you thinking, Sam?" she said to herself. "How could you do something so completely stupid? What am I going to do?" The desperation in her voice broke his heart and the happiness he had felt a few moments before immediately vanished.

Jack moved on down the hall, disappointment and guilt washing over him as he made his way to the other bathroom. As he went about his morning routine, he started thinking about what he had overheard. Sam obviously regretted what had happened last night and she was worried about how to fix the situation. It was his fault, he realized. He had not been as drunk as she had been. He could have stopped it before it went too far - but he didn't. And now she had regrets.

He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror and a look of determination set on his lathered face. As he lifted his razor and began to shave the stumble from his cheeks, he came to a decision. He would fix everything. The sooner he did, the better off they would be.

They could try to forget that it had happened – chalk it up to two drunk and grieving friends who had not been in complete control of their faculties. They could then go on as before. Besides, he thought to himself...Sam deserves more. She deserves a relationship that does not put her career in jeopardy. And she deserves a better man than him...one without so much emotional baggage – and he wanted only the best for his Carter.

Jack found her a few minutes later in the dining room, cradling a cup of coffee.

"I made some coffee, sir. Would you like a cup?" Her voice was rough and edgy, probably a result of the massive hangover she was most likely experiencing.

"Sir'?" he questioned her choice of words sarcastically.

"Yes, sir," Sam replied softly as she stared down into her coffee.

Jack walked into the kitchen, poured himself a cup of his own, and returned to the dining room to sit down across from her at the table. They remained silent for a moment, both fiddling nervously with their coffee cups, before she again spoke.

"Sir, I know what you're going to say but it wasn't a mistake. I've been going over this in my head all morning. At first, I was angry with myself for letting it go this far. But I've come to the conclusion that I have absolutely no regrets. You can report me or file a complaint if you feel differently. I just...I needed someone last night. I needed to feel alive and safe and not alone. And...to tell you the truth, you were the someone I needed...the only one I needed."

Sam's unexpected words shocked and confused him. After overhearing her in the bathroom a few minutes before, he was certain that she wanted to forget that it ever happened. Although he was secretly pleased that she had changed her mind, he also knew that he had to be the voice of reason.

He looked at her, trying to express the affection he felt for her, as well as the remorse at what he knew he had to do. "I'm not going report you, Carter. In fact if anybody should be reported, it should be me. What happened...it was a mutual thing...but I was the one who let it get out of hand."

He paused to muster his resolve before adding, "You know this can't happen again, don't you, Carter?"

Sam looked back at him sharply, her voice tinged with anger and disappointment, "Why not? The regulations? Or because you don't care for me in that way?"

He gave her no answer. He simply looked away, afraid that she would be able to see the desperation in his eyes.

Sam's voice became more assertive, "I really don't give a damn about the regulations, sir. All I want to know is how you feel about this. How do you feel about me?"

"How do I feel, Carter?" he repeated. Jack sighed in frustration. "I really feel like this can't happen again. You may not regret it now, but I have a strong suspicion that you will soon. I don't want to risk your career or my own on something that shouldn't have happened in the first place," he explained.

"You really feel that way?"

He stared directly at her then, assured that he could finally keep his emotions under control, and nodded. She shook her head in disbelief at his apparently indifferent attitude towards her.

She tried to explain to him how she was feeling, attempting at the same time to break through the stony barricade he had erected around his heart. "We just lost one of our best friends. It's made me realize that there are more important things than rules and orders."

He challenged her, "Like what? A drunken roll in the hay?"

Sam flinched at his terse words. Their night together had meant more than that to her and it hurt beyond belief that he apparently saw it as nothing more than a drunken night of sex. She thought she meant more to him than that. Obviously, she had been wrong.

"No. Like a life," she replied heatedly to his question, finally losing her temper and she abruptly rose to leave.

Sam walked out of the dining room to the front door, intending to quickly escape before he could hurt her any more. Stopping at the door, she suddenly realized that she had no idea of how she had gotten there the previous evening. An expression of embarrassment and irritation graced her features.

Jack quickly got up, realizing that he had blown it. He went after her, determined to stop her from leaving this way. He didn't want to hurt her, but how could he make her understand?

"Carter... wait," he called out. He put his hand on her shoulder. "You took a cab here last night. And you are clearly not dressed to be walking home in that."

He stared openly at her attire. She was still wearing the nightgown that she had arrived in the night before. He guided her back into the dining room and motioned for her to sit back down. "Let me get you something else to wear and then I'll drive you home."

Sam silently nodded her consent as he went to get her something to wear. Jack returned with a folded pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and handed them to her. She took them from him and disappeared down the hall to change in the bathroom.

When she had gone, Jack sat down at the table and put his head in his hands in dejection. He didn't want to let her go like this. He needed her. He wanted her. And yet, as much as he wanted her in his personal life, he needed her working by his side even more.

If he let this continue, Jack knew that eventually it would end badly and they would no longer be able to work together. He had already lost Daniel, he was determined that the rest of his team would remain intact - even if it meant hurting her a bit this morning. She would get over it, she would find someone else... someone better, and they would get back to normal.

They remained silent on the journey to her house, the awkward silence making the drive feel like an eternity. He pulled up outside of her cottage just behind the classic Volvo parked on the street.

Just as she was opening the door of his truck to get out, she turned back towards him. "You know sir, I meant what I said before. I don't care about the regulations – at least in regards to the way I feel about you." There was no sign of regret or embarrassment in her demeanor and voice – only complete honesty.

Sam quickly reached over and placed a brief kiss on the corner of his mouth. "And come to think about it..." she quirked an eyebrow in curiosity, "you never really answered my question...you know...about how you feel about me."

Jack watched intently as she slammed the truck door and walked briskly up the path to her house, following her form until it disappeared completely behind the closed door. And in the solitude of his truck, he finally did provide an answer to her question.

Slamming his hands against the steering wheel in frustration, he repeated the question she had asked, "How do I feel about you, Carter?" He rested his forehead sorrowfully on the hands that tightly clutched the wheel and quietly replied, "God help me, I'm in love with you."

TBC