You're Not the Only One in Need

Part Four
Three Months Later (After 'Redemption')

Sam was sleeping soundly in her bed when she was suddenly awoken by the sound of her doorbell ringing. Moaning in frustration, she struggled out of bed and made her way to her front door. Although it was about 0900 in the morning, she had only gotten home a couple of hours before after spending almost the entire previous week deep inside Cheyenne Mountain dealing with Anubis's attack on Earth's Stargate. Sleep was a precious commodity of late, and it irritated her to no end that her morning's activities had been interrupted.

With eyes half-closed she swung open her front door expecting to greet the UPS man or a Girl Scout selling cookies, only to find her commanding officer standing in front of her looking a little worse for wear. He was wearing a pair of wrinkled khakis and a lightweight black turtleneck sweater.

O'Neill merely stood there with his hands in his pockets, waiting for her to say something. Even though he appeared exhausted, Jack still looked like heaven to her. Taking in his form, her eyes opened wider as she debated whether he was really there or whether he was merely a dream that her subconscious had conjured up.

"Sir?" she asked warily, rubbing her sleepy eyes then suddenly crossing her arms over her chest in embarrassment. Her thin cotton tank top and pajama bottoms were suddenly made her feel very exposed in the early morning sunlight.

"Hey Carter," Jack greeted her nonchalantly. His face and demeanor betrayed no hint of why he had shown up on her doorstep on a Saturday morning.

"When did you get back?" she inquired.

"Couple of hours ago."

"Are you alright? I mean, you're not hurt or anything?" Her expression turned to worry as she wondered why on earth he would come to her house so soon after getting home. After all, he had seen just as little sleep as she had in the past week in addition to coming frightfully close to dying in the X-302.

"No...I'm fine. At least physically," he paused to think for a second, "...the knee's still giving me problems. What a trip though..."

"I can imagine. I bet it was rough coming down in that cockpit module." She stood in her doorway, examining his expression in puzzlement and waiting for him to reveal the real reason as to why he was there. "Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

"Actually..." he spoke as he took a step towards her.

Jack's hands weaved around behind her neck and the next thing she felt were his lips connecting with her own in a bruising kiss. He guided their bodies through the open door and then kicked it shut with his foot, never once removing his mouth from hers. Her hands, which had previously been positioned idly on his hips moved around to enclose him and pull his body closer to her own as she responded to his kiss with fervor.

Jack pushed her against the wall with what seemed to be the entire force of his body, while her hands found their way beneath his sweater and began soothingly stroking his back. Once he had pinned her to the wall, he began exploring her jaw line and neck with his lips.

Her cool, soft hands massaging the muscles of his back only aroused him more. He broke away from her abruptly and stared deeply into her passion-filled blue eyes. No words were necessary. Her eyes told him everything that he needed to know. Sam simply nodded and took one of his hands in her own, leading him down the hall into her bedroom. As she walked, she thought to herself, perhaps sleep is overrated after all.'

They contentedly slept for several hours, curled around each other. By late afternoon, Jack woke up disoriented and a bit unsure of where he was. He turned over in the bed to find the blond head of Sam Carter resting on the neighboring pillow. Examining her more closely, images of what had happened between them flashed through his head. He groaned in remorse and let his head fall back heavily onto his own pillow. He closed his eyes tightly to block out his guilt. What had he done?

As he slowly opened his eyes again, he beheld a large pair of blue eyes staring down at him. Obviously, the movements and sounds he had generated had awoken her.

"Hey there," he whispered as he cupped Sam's cheek with his palm.

"Hey," she replied. "So...Is this what you came over to my house for?"

He grimaced. "God...I'm sorry, Carter. This should never have happened. I should never have come."

An expression of sadness immediately replaced the grin on Sam's face. She quickly turned over to face away from him. "I'm sorry you feel that way, sir."

Jack gripped her shoulder, urging her to once again look at him. "That's not what I mean. What I meant was...we were all right. Everything was getting back to normal after...Daniel and you know..."

Sam turned back around, her sadness now replaced with fury. "Yes," she agreed, "Everything was normal on the surface, but can you really deny how hard it's been?"

He shook his head wearily, "No, I can't. After that one night... seeing you, working with you everyday and not being able to touch you has been excruciating. It's been awkward as hell too."

"Why did you come here this morning?" she brusquely demanded.

"I honestly don't know. I was tumbling back down to Earth in the cockpit module and all I could think of was you. I haven't been able to stop thinking of you since. I really thought it was the end up there – that my luck had finally run out. Then you came through with the plan and it worked. I ejected from the 302 and as I was falling, I realized...it was you. It's always you. You saved me yet again. You got me through it."

"So this is about gratitude?" Sam was still angry and confused about the situation. She was beginning to think that she had made a terrible mistake in letting him into her bed and her heart again.

"No, not at all," he reassured her. "This is about needing you... and wanting to be with you. I needed you up there and you came through for me again. Flying back to Colorado, I realized that you not only save my sorry life on a regular basis, but you also are the one person that makes my life worth living. I didn't want to die up there... because of you. And I landed in the ocean in that damned cockpit module and had this overwhelming need to be with you, to see you again."

"What about the regulations?" she challenged. She knew that she was willing to throw the regs out the door, but he had been the one to uphold them after their last encounter.

He smirked knowingly. "Well from what I hear, the SGC is closing shop for the time being. Unless something major happens in the next day or so, I believe I am long overdue for retirement. That means no more regs and a whole lot of fishing, I hope." Jack wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her hair. "I don't want to be without you anymore, Sam."

Sam smiled brightly at the sound of her name on his lips. It was something she certainly could get used to. They lay there in silence in each other's arms for a few minutes, simply staring at each other, grinning like two kids on Christmas morning, and absorbing what these new circumstances actually meant for them – a future... together.

Sam ran her fingers through his untidy silver hair. "You know, I was worried about you up there."

"You were?" he asked facetiously as one corner of his mouth tilted upwards in a smirk.

"I felt so helpless, like such a failure. You were up there in the X-302, slowly falling to Earth, and I couldn't save you...I couldn't save Earth. For once, I didn't have a brilliant solution." Sam closed her eyes, remembering the feelings of powerlessness.

"But you did save me...and save Earth."

"Sort of. It took me too long to figure it out, and only then with a lot of help from McKay and Jonas. You could've died and I would have been responsible. Hell, the whole planet could have been destroyed."

"You are always way too hard on yourself, Carter."

"No, I'm not. Because when I'm not then things fall through the cracks... mistakes are made and the consequences are usually unbelievably hard to deal with."

"It was not your fault that Anubis decided to attack our Gate. It would not have been your fault if the plan had failed and it would not have been your fault if I had died. We all take chances, Carter. And everyone at the SGC is well aware of the potential consequences. You cannot feel guilty for everything that goes wrong."

"I know," she reluctantly admitted. "So...what happens now?"

"It's up to you. If you want to forget this ever happened, I can do that."

She looked at him in shock, horrified that he could give her up so easily. He smiled in response and explained, "I'd probably end up living in Minnesota as a bitter old recluse who never leaves his cabin, with only a dog for company... but I would learn to live with it as long as it's what you want."

She smiled softly at him and shook her head. "That's not what I want."

He returned her smile and stroked her shoulder. "What do you want, Major?" he asked mischievously.

"I want you," she replied as she captured his lips in a long and ardent kiss. Breaking away from the kiss, her forehead suddenly creased in worry.

"What happens to us if the SGC does start up again?"

Jack thought for a moment before answering decisively, "I don't want to go back to the way things were before, Carter. And I don't think you want to either. I think we need each other."

"So...?"

He kissed her furrowed brow hoping to ease away her worries, "So... we keep this to ourselves and pretend everything is normal at work. Are we both okay with that?"

"Yes sir," she replied ecstatically. The dazzling smile she displayed soon disappeared in the midst of a mind-numbing kiss.

TBC