Piercing Silence

Standard Disclaimers Apply

A/N: Thank you all for the beautiful reviews. They were inspiring thank you guys so much! Sorry for the late update but I kind of hit a writing slump for a while and now I'm trying to catch up with my updates. Thank you to Jbella who made sure this chapter doesn't have any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Thanks so much!

Chapter Seven:

In movies, once the couple gets their feelings across and out in the open, the closing credits roll, and people are left with the assumption that the story ends in an 'And They Lived Happily Ever After'. That was not the case at all; it wasn't really the end of the story.

Actually, it is the jumping point of where everything begins.

Kaoru rolled her pencil between her fingers, alternating between glaring at the complicated math problems in front of her to thinking about how unfair it was that Kenshin could solve it so easily without even breaking a sweat. It was her assignment, and he'd done it for her after hearing her complain non-stop about evil, sadistic professors with a penchant for torturing poor, innocent students and burning off their young, unassuming brain cells.

He'd given her the sheet of paper he'd scribbled his solutions on and said "Figure out how I came upon those answers," before he headed off to take a shower. "You've been neglecting your math classes and your grades are dismal."

Kaoru had glared at his back and stuck out her tongue at him. Whose fault is that, huh? Try having a slightly psycho boyfriend and see how well you cope with advanced mathematics.

She smiled.

Their relationship was far from perfect; they still had problems, and Kenshin was still frustrating her most of the time, but at least now they were trying to work things out instead of suffering in silence. For some reason, Kenshin still balked at going public with their relationship, but Kaoru didn't mind as much anymore. She understood that his resistance didn't stem from his shame at being with her. It didn't have anything to do with her at all. It was something he needed to work out within himself. It was obvious there were some deeper issues he needed to figure out for himself first, and she planned to be there for him and help him through it.

Right now, she felt as if he needed a friend and a confidant more than he needed a girlfriend. And since she'd been both even before they had a romantic relationship, Kaoru had no trouble slipping into the role of his best friend once more. That was how everyone saw them anyhow.

Well…everyone except Sano.

He refused to accept that Kaoru's relationship with Kenshin was simply platonic, and he seemed to take great pleasure in pushing the envelope and seeing how far he could go before Kenshin snaps and threatens him with a few carefully chosen words that roughly translated to 'Get your hands off her or I'll cut them off.'

"Well you said she's not your girlfriend, I don't see what the problem is," Sano would say with a laugh, and he would usually blow Kenshin a kiss, making the annoyed redhead even more irate.

XXX

A couple of days after the incident with Kenshin's 'break-down', things had been a little bit awkward between them. It was obvious the redhead was not at all used to baring his feelings like that, and Kaoru felt overwhelmed with the information and emotional stress that it put on her.

Kaoru kept on thinking about how to proceed from that point on, and what changed in their relationship, and so many things that just, really, it was inconsequential when she thought about it in hindsight. When it comes to relationships, you can't really think too much or plan too far ahead.

Relationships deal with people and emotions, and things change and shift and evolve naturally if you let them.

That was what happened.

After several days of tiptoeing around each other and not knowing exactly what to do, Kaoru woke up one night, she'd taken to sleeping in her own bedroom, and found Kenshin sitting in an armchair, watching her sleep.

"Kenshin…?"

He just sat there, his face shadowed by the dim light in the room and the golden glow from Kaoru's night lamp that she kept on since she was afraid of sleeping alone in the dark.

"What are you doing…?" Kaoru asked again as she pushed her hair away from her face.

An expression that Kaoru could only describe as longing fleeted over Kenshin's face as his eyes met hers in the semi-darkness. "I need you Kaoru…don't pull away from me, please…"

"I'm not…" Kaoru shook her head, denying it even though a part of her knew it as true. There was a distance between them, a gap that had formed because neither knew what to do or where to go from the point of Kenshin's confession.

Kenshin dropped his head, his long bangs shadowing his eyes.

Kaoru sat up fully and watched him in silence for a while before she whispered his name in a soft, tentative voice. It didn't seem like he heard her except that Kaoru saw his fingers curl into tight fists, and his hands were trembling even though the rest of him was completely still, and his breathing was even.

Kaoru stood up and walked over to him and knelt in front of him. She laid her hands on top of his fists and felt their slight trembling. His hands were clenched so tightly, she was afraid he'd draw blood sooner or later.

"Kenshin…I'm sorry if it felt like I was pulling away from you…it wasn't…I didn't want…" she gave a frustrated sigh. She didn't know what to say to him, how to begin, where to proceed. She ended up bowing her head and resting her forehead on Kenshin's knee.

"I-I want to tell you…I want to, but I can't…"

Kaoru's head shot up at the sound of his voice. "No, no…" Kaoru protested. "It's not about that!" Did he think she was pulling away from him because he wouldn't completely tell her about his past? "I told you that whatever happened doesn't matter. You don't have to tell me now. You can tell me when you're ready."

"It's my burden to bear…I shouldn't have told you a-about her…especially since I can't explain…"

"It doesn't matter. I would have preferred it if you had told me sooner…but we were friends even before we became a couple, and I knew that there were things in your life you aren't ready to share. I don't care about your past. Knowing what I know, however incomplete it is, it doesn't change the way I feel. I don't exactly understand what happened, and someday I hope you'll be able to open up to me. But Kenshin, I love you and…" Kaoru stopped as she felt emotion well up in her throat. It made her feel so bad that Kenshin had to go through whatever trauma he went through. He had gone through life guardedly, and she wondered what would have happened to him if she hadn't met him?

Would he have remained friendless, focused only on his goals and not really associating with anyone?

What a lonely existence.

Was that how he'd grown up, as a young boy?

Kenshin pulled his hand from beneath Kaoru's and smoothed back her hair. "Don't cry Kaoru, not for me. I don't deserve your tears."

"You must have been so lonely…"

"I'm not now, that's all that matters."

"Kenshin…I love you, remember that, okay?" Kaoru said as she met his gaze and willed him to believe. She could see him as he cried and begged her to stay, she could see him as he held her almost desperately, she could see him sleeping, and even in his sleep his hand would always find a way to hold on to her as if he was afraid that if he let her go, she would disappear forever. "I won't leave you, not unless you want me to. I promise I'll stay and I won't ever let you be alone…"

Kenshin bent his head and pressed his lips to her forehead. "I don't deserve you…but I'm glad I have you anyway."

Kaoru smiled but she couldn't stop her tears because her heart still ached for him. Her mind concocted different scenarios, each one more heinous than the next. What could have changed him so? What could have made a little boy grow up into someone so guarded, so afraid to let his real feelings show? His mother. His mother should have cared for him protected him and cherished him but instead she'd done something that had altered his psyche and turned an innocent young boy into someone who didn't trust easily and who found it so hard to love. "I'm so sorry about what you had to go through…"

Kenshin got down on the floor in front of Kaoru and hugged her, stroking her back in comforting circles as she cried in his arms. "Please don't cry anymore…it's okay."

"No it's not…someone hurt you…"

Kenshin smiled slightly, but Kaoru didn't see.

He held her like that until she cried herself to sleep, and then he stood up and carried her back to bed, tucking her in with care. He sat down beside her on the bed and looked down at her sleeping face. She looked so young, so innocent, and so beautiful. She was so pure, and every time he touched her, he felt like he was defiling her somehow. But he didn't really care because he needed her in his life. He needed her so bad it frightened him. She said she loved him, and she wouldn't leave him. She always said she loved him, and he loved hearing those words. He lived for those moments when she would hold him and cry out his name and tell him she loved him.

He could never bring himself to say those words back, and he knew she deserved them.

She deserved so much more than he could give her.

I love you…

XXX

Kaoru bit the end of her pencil and glared at the equations. She could sort of see the process, but she had no idea how he'd come up with the answer. She was still annoyed that he'd manage to accomplish it in about ten or fifteen minutes when it was taking her more than triple that time to figure out how he'd done it.

With a frustrated sigh, she stood up and headed for the kitchen, intending to fix herself some hot chocolate. Normally Kaoru just drank the tea Kenshin was so fond of. The hot chocolate was Sano's contribution. He'd brought some back from his visit with his friend because he hated tea and claimed that he was afraid that if he drank enough of the foul brew, he'd end up as emotionally constipated as Kenshin.

Kenshin had overheard of course, because Sano always made sure Kenshin was within earshot whenever he made such comments. It seems his passion in life was to get on his stepbrother's nerves.

"If you become constipated, I'll shove a bokken up your ass," Kenshin glared.

"Whohoo! Now I finally figured out why Jou-chan's only your roommate. Seems me and you have different sexual orientations, huh bro? That explains the long hair."

Kaoru had choked on her tea at Sano's implication that Kenshin was gay.

Of course the redhead was not happy, but he didn't dignify Sano's statement with a reply, just gave the brunette the 'Glare of Death' and stomped off to practice.

Sano had been staying with them again for a few weeks now. The earlier tension had somewhat dissipated as all three of them got into a routine. Kenshin still showed immense dislike for Sano and his acute displeasure at having him live in the sofa, but he generally left Sano alone barring a few choice one-word insults and death glares aimed at the brunette. Mainly, Sano spent his time away from the apartment, only returning late at night and then sleeping in the next morning.

At first, she had tried to stay away from Sano, but the man was just too amiable for his own good. He teased her and made her laugh, and although he frequently gave her hugs and kissed her on the cheek, Kaoru never felt molested or uncomfortable. She had come to realize that it was just his way of showing affection for her. It was so hard not to like him, and she found herself laughing when he teased her, and they formed a sort of brother-sister bond. Kaoru asked him once what he did when he was out.

"Awww Jou-chan, I didn't know you cared!" He had laughed and given her a hug. Unfortunately, Kenshin chose that moment to come out of his bedroom, and he had seen the hug. The redhead had given them both the evil eye before he'd left for school.

"What's up with him?" Sano had asked, smirking as he kept his arm around her.

"Who knows?" Kaoru asked with a shrug, trying to elbow him away.

"Maybe he's jealous. Are you sure you're just his roommate?" Sano had laughed and pecked her on the cheek before heading off into the bathroom. "He acts more like a jealous boyfriend to me."

That had been pretty much the beginning of Sano's adamant refusal to accept that Kaoru and Kenshin's relationship was platonic and his baiting of Kenshin. Kaoru was concerned that Kenshin was getting really annoyed with Sano's antics but on the other hand, it was really cute to see Kenshin act like, as Sano termed it, a 'jealous boyfriend'.

Kenshin didn't ask her to stay away from Sano again even though she knew that her 'friendship' with the brunette somewhat annoyed Kenshin. Kaoru chose to think that it was because he was now confident of her love for him and that he trusted her. Their relationship had advanced a little; it was a baby step, but it was a step forward, and that was all that mattered.

XXX

Math Class was the last class every Wednesday and that was why Wednesday was Kaoru's least favorite day. She was always tempted to just skip the class and head home or roam the campus, but of course she couldn't since she could barely understand what her professor was talking about half the time. If she started cutting classes, she might end up failing and have to take the class again next year, which would be a torture beyond imagining.

"I can't believe you got an almost perfect score on that math exam; it was grueling!" Tae complained as she talked to Kaoru after the math professor left the class to moan and groan over their test scores. "That man is evil, you know! He's evil incarnate. I think he doesn't really want to be a professor, and he's bitter, and that's why he's taking it out on his students. That'll make a great movie; 'The Frustrated Professor'. Sort of like, 'Teaching Mrs. Tingle' only this time it's set in college, and the teacher's a guy."

"Good idea. Hey, didn't Mrs. Tingle's students like, try to kill her or something? I echo the sentiment. You know what we should do? When we graduate, we should come back here and visit him to get closure. It'll be like indirectly saying 'Hah, I survived your class, I graduated, so there'."

"That's if I graduate. Really, that teacher hates me I think. See how he always calls on me to answer questions on the board no one else volunteers to answer?"

"Maybe he's got a thing for you, and since he knows he can't have you, he's taking out his anger at you for tempting him. That'll make a great movie." Kaoru commented teasingly.

Tae laughed and shook her head. "Illicit affair, how interesting. Still, you haven't answered my initial inquiry."

"Which is?"

"How in the world did you manage to get such stellar grades on such a brutal exam?"

"I got a good tutor," she answered with a grin. "Kenshin explained the stuff to me, and it's actually pretty easy once you get the gist of it."

"So that guy's cute, sexy, the top kendo athlete in the school, probably the entire country, and now you're telling me he's good in math too? He's got to be an alien, you know, like in 'Roswell'?"

"What's with you and American shows anyway?" Kaoru asked with a laugh as she gathered her things and prepared to leave the classroom.

Tae did the same as she answered, "That's what satellites and cable TV are for. Haven't you figured out by now that I live vicariously through the people in those shows? They have so much freedom to express their sexuality."

"So…you're hankering to express your sexuality?"

Tae grinned. "Nope. It's just fun to watch the aftermath, you know? How they get themselves into those situations they could have easily avoided if they had more self-control. Have you heard of the show, 'Desperate Housewives'? It's kind of like 'Sex in the City', but now the girls are married. Who knew the libido had so much power, huh? It's not just American shows either, you know. There's this Korean film 'Phone' or something, and the teenage girl had an affair with a married man. She got pregnant, and the guy left her, and she died or was killed or something. The dead girl's soul possessed the man's daughter, and everything went down hill from there. Teenage pregnancies are at an all-time high, kind of ironic with all the contraceptives floating around, but I think abstinence is really the key. I mean, if you're still a teenager you're not supposed to go around having sex, right?"

Kaoru, feeling like a total hypocrite, agreed with her friend. "Right." She believed in abstinence too, and she knew that if her parents found out about her and Kenshin, they would be terribly disappointed in her. So would her brother and sister. Not only about having sex with Kenshin but more importantly, about the true nature of her relationship with the redhead. It always hurt her that she had to conceal such a vital part of her life from her family's knowledge. She'd always been open to them before. Kaoru smiled a little awkwardly and opted to change the subject. "How did we get from talking about mathematics to TV shows to talking about sex and the consequences of unprotected intercourse?"

"I'm just a good conversationalist, that's all." Tae winked.

Kaoru had to laugh at that. She loved her friend, and talking to Tae was always a riot because her personality was so eccentric and eclectic. "Hey, I can help you out with math class if you want. You can come over later tonight, and we can discuss it."

"Tonight's no good. I'm working part-time at one of the restaurants near our school. It's called Tabemasho. I'm kind of trying to get a feel for running a restaurant. I've already got the cooking part down, and I'm learning about the business aspect of it. I thought some hands-on experience would be nice."

It had always been Tae's dream to open a restaurant of her own. She was a fabulous cook and Kaoru was confident that Tae was going to succeed. "Have you figured out what you're going to name it yet?"

"Of course. I'm going to name it Akabeko. Pretty cool huh?"

Kaoru nodded. "Nice. So what, you're going to be an assistant chef there?"

"A little bit of everything. Mostly waitressing though, but that's alright. It's better than nothing. I practically had to beg the manager for the job and I'm being paid slave wages but what's important is the experience, right?"

"Right."

"How about we do it the day after tomorrow?" Tae asked.

"That'll work."

"Great…oh hey look, it's your other half coming over here."

Kaoru turned to the direction Tae was pointing and indeed saw the redhead making his way towards her. He was being followed by three girls who were trying to talk to him, but it was clear Kenshin wasn't paying much attention to them.

"Those girls have no shame," Tae muttered to Kaoru. "Can't they see the more they go after him, the more annoyed he gets?"

"They just really like him I guess," Kaoru said, trying to be understanding even though a part of her echoed Tae's sentiment.

"Seriously, the two of you have been inseparable since high school. You and Kenshin should just get together already so the girls would stop pestering him, and Kenshin won't have to glare away the guys who show the tiniest bit of interest in you."

Kaoru blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about Tae."

"Yeah right." Tae rolled her eyes. "I was there in high school, I've known you for a long time. Besides, I know Shin likes you. That guy just won't shut up about how much he likes you. And since Kenshin won't help him, he thought he'd ask me for help since I'm the closest to you other than your red-haired roomie. Shin was going on and on about how overprotective Kenshin was, but you know what, I think possessive is the word, really."

Kaoru blinked, feeling her face heat up in a blush. If Tae was thinking that Kenshin was being possessive of her, then perhaps other people were having the same thoughts as well. Kenshin probably wouldn't like that. Kaoru watched Kenshin's eyes narrow as he said a few words to his 'admirers'. They scattered off like leaves flown by the wind and Kaoru couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for them. She'd been around Kenshin long enough to witness him using his caustic tongue on people once in a while. It wasn't a pretty sight; he could be terribly cold and harsh sometimes. "Kenshin…he doesn't really like Shin very much."

Tae snorted. "No kidding. Aside from you, I don't think Kenshin likes anyone at all."

XXX

Kenshin and Kaoru were walking towards one of the cafes near campus for a cup of coffee since it was only late afternoon. "Didn't you have practice today?"

"It got cancelled."

"Oh, so you'll be free from now 'til tonight?"

"Yes," Kenshin answered. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"Let's go have dinner out later at Tabemasho. Tae's working there, it would be fun."

Kenshin shrugged. "If you want."

"You remember Tae right? Back from high school?"

Kenshin turned to frown at Kaoru. "Of course I do." He wasn't stupid, so of course he could remember people's names. It was just that most of the time when other people were being introduced to him, he couldn't care less about their names and just didn't pay attention.

He'd paid attention though, when Kaoru had introduced him to Tae since Kaoru seemed so fond of the girl.

Tae was bearable, since she was someone who did not stare at him constantly and look at him like he was the incarnation of all her silly, girlhood dreams. But he'd always thought that she was a bit weird and slightly flighty.

Kaoru smiled, "I told her you were tutoring me, and she said you must be an alien."

"Alien?"

"Yup." Kaoru laughed. "She asked me to have you try and do the alien hand thing…"

He raised an eyebrow. "You keep company with strange people."

"I love strange, but the word I think that you're looking for is eccentric. Besides, I keep company with you. Are you saying you're strange?"

Kenshin turned to regarded her with a lifted eyebrow, a small smirk playing on his lips. "I could possibly be the strangest one of all…"

Kaoru looked up at him and smiled. "Like I said, I love strange."

XXX

A/N: Ha! Not much angst, told you I'd give them a bit of happiness before I torture them again. So what did you guys think of thins chapter? I wanted to write down a long Review Responses but I was excited to post this chapter so in a day or two, I'll probably repost this chapter with the Review Responses on to answer some of the questions you guys had posted last chapter.

Thanks so much for the reviews!

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