A.N. No I did not abandon this story, just took a bit of a break from fanfiction is all. Now I have a bit of an announcement. I have created a LiveJournal community called eriseds(underscore)mirror. It's for Harry Potter fanfiction and fanart. I'm doing my best to get it off the ground but hey, there's only so much one person can do. So I'm asking anyone who reads this chapter to please go at least take a look. Join if you write or draw! I'd really like to see this community become something special and well… I need a little help moving it along.If you write or draw join my community please?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I'm just playing puppeteer with all the characters for a bit.

It had been fifteen exhausting minutes since Ron had so quaintly asked me what a hotel was. When in the magical world 'Muggle Talk' never came up much and even if it did, it was between me and Harry. It was truly astounding how many things came freely to me, while Ron struggled with the concept of a revolving door.

"Hermione!" Ron yelled grabbing my arm roughly right before I was about to step through said door.

I squeaked slightly in pain and turned to stare back at him with an incredulous look on my face, "What is wrong with you Ron?"

Ron pointed at the door as if it was a Death Eater, "It was going to eat you. This whole place is crawling with tricks I bet you, we're better off in the woods."

"Ron listen to me, the door was not going to eat me. There are a lot of things you don't understand, just… try and be quiet. Please?" If he didn't shut up about man-eating doors we were going to attract unwanted attention or woman-eating in this case.

"I am not walking through those doors," Ron stated crossing his arms. Great, just what I need, Ron being overtly petulant and me in smelling like I had just climbed out of a zoo. Perfect.

"Ron I promise the doors won't do anything to you, just step in at the right moment and you'll be fine!" I gave him my best smile hoping to coax him out of his shell just this once. Of course I could charm any man if I wanted to.

"Do I look mental?" Ron asked.

I glared at him angrily and grabbed his wrists, "Com'on, I don't have time for this!"

Ron set his feet in the ground and no matter how hard I yanked, pulled, or pleaded. He didn't budge. "You don't even have any muggle money!" he declared pointing a finger in my direction.

You know that aforementioned attention I was trying to avoid, I'd gained the attention. Seething I looked up at my counterpart, "That's what a telephone is for you half-wit, now if you don't follow me inside that door right now I'll lock you in the bathroom and read you every spell book I own!"

Ron still didn't budge, looking slightly scared.

"Front to back!"

Ron gave me an impish look and let the pressure off his heels. I went sprawling backwards into the dirt and landed rather harshly on my rear. I was full and ready to glare, rant and rave. However, he picked me up and set me back on my feet apologizing profusely and well… he just looked so cute.

As we approached the revolving door I could see his apprehension returning.

"Just step in with me and everything will be fine," I said calmly.

We stepped together landing within the revolving door's grasp and with a smile I easily stepped out and realized all too late. Ron was not with me. I looked back in abject horror as Ron simply kept walking along with the door giving me a helpless look.

I moved forward quickly for fear that Ron might do something out of place like say, blowing the door off its hinges with his wand. "Ron, just step out when you come to me alright?"

Ron nodded and attempted to walk out of the revolving door but he didn't move quick enough. "Bloody hell!" He yelled as the door closed on his hand. "Hermione it's biting me!"

I considered hiding my head in my shirt, no matter how bad the smell was. My patience gone I stalked forward and ripped his hand from the doors. Giving his hand a once over to make sure nothing was broken and the fool hadn't hurt himself. Once I was satisfied with his health I walked up to the reception counter. "May I use your phone?"

The receptionist looked at me and discreetly hid her nose behind her hand, only reminding me of my state of smell. "Is it a local call?"

Oh dear, this is going to sound odd now isn't it? Please nice receptionist, tell me where I am. "Would… would you be kind enough to tell me where I am?"

The receptionist's eyes widened. That was it, she was going to hit the panic button under the counter and Ron and I would be carted away to the local detention center. "Bakersville, ma'am."

I lifted my eyebrows in hope that maybe she would elaborate.

"Bakersville, North Carolina."

"Oh well then, it would definitely be an out of area call. Is there anyway I could use it?" I asked pitifully already knowing the answer.

I heard a crash and turned to see Ron looking guilty and the shards of a vase at his feet. With a grin I turned back to the receptionist. "I could pay for that, if you can let me call my parents in Englad. It's really no trouble!"

With a sour look the receptionist handed me the phone.

"Okay so let me get this straight. You used a fellytone.."

"A telephone, honestly say it correctly!"

"… Telephone to call your mum and dad in England to get us money and a place to stay. Can't the Death Eaters track that?"

"Do you think that Death Eaters would place a trace on calls?"

"A what?"

"Nevermind."

I sat there and watched the lift numbers count higher. My mum and dad had come into a bit of money in the past few years and well, I hadn't been sparse when selecting a room. It wasn't the penthouse, but still there was enough room for both Ron and I.

"I don't understand." He said plainly.

Plenty of space.

"You don't need to understand! I will take care of things!" I hissed.

"You? Take care of things? Are you sure you can?" he asked.

I turned to him with a look akin to fury on my face. He instantly cringed realizing about a moment too late that he had said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Of course I could take care of us! Who did he think I was Parvati Patil! I had a brain and last time I checked I was a bit more educated in Muggles that he was. I at least knew how to say telephone right.

Instead of yelling or lecturing like he was so ready for I simply huffed and turned my nose up, staring pointedly in the other direction. We may have graduated Hogwarts but old habits die hard.

Ron did likewise, crossing his arms and glaring a hole in the key-pad of the lift. "Women, honestly."

The lift 'dinged' signaling we were free to go and the doors slid open. I flounced down the hallway, vaguely aware of Ron following me. Stupid prat, I shouldn't even let him in the room. However, my conscience wouldn't leave him in the hall to stink. I slid the card into the door handle and pulled it back out waiting for the little light to turn green. It did and I pushed the door open.

"I call the shower," I yelled as I took off towards the bathroom.

Ron utterly lost stared angrily at me as I tore down the hallway. "Women."

I had never thought hot water would feel so good. It cleansed me of that wretched smell and I couldn't care less if I was using hotel brand shampoo, it definitely smelled better than sewer water. After I had finished washing I toweled off and went to grab my old clothes, however the green tone to them caused me to pull my hand back. I opened the nearest cupboard and retrieved the complimentary robe hanging there.

I walked out into the sitting room and saw Ron slouched pitifully on the couch, snoring. He shouldn't have looked so adorable while snoring. I smiled gently and sat down next to him shaking his shoulder gently, "Ron, you need to take a shower. Com'on wake up."

His eyes slowly slid open and he gave me a lopsided smile, "You smell better."

My smile widened, "Let's get you in the shower alright?"

I pulled him to his feet and lead him to the bathroom. Once we arrived I showed him where everything was, including the other robe. He gently kissed me as I turned around to face him. I smiled and melted against his lips. My Ron.

His hand slipped into the ample supply of curls at the back of my neck holding me against him as his tongue worked my lips open. It was difficult to remember that he did indeed smell bad and he shouldn't be kissing me. He should be getting in the shower. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into his body as he pinned me against the cabinet.

I quickly realized that one, he did stink and two, I had nothing on under my robe. With a blush I broke the kiss. "Shower."

He grinned boyishly at me, "Sure you don't want to join me?"

There were time when that comment would have gotten him slapped but right now I just returned his impish grin. "Perhaps when you smell better."

He chuckled and released me, "Out so I can get undressed."

"Can't I watch," I asked as I forced a fake pout.

He kissed me gently again, "Perhaps when my skin isn't green we'll see, but I have some pride. Out!" He pushed me gently.

I gave him one last kiss and slipped out the door.

Perhaps Ron had his uses.

Wonderful uses.

A.N. Well I hoped you liked it, humor really isn't my thing but I tried. And PLEASE! Go visit that community and join :looks cute:. I'm also looking for an artist, I need a banner for the community pwease!Anyways R&R and feed the authors watch out they spit.