Megan sat quietly rocking in the chair. The room was silent and dark but it brought her a bit of comfort to know that in a few months the beautiful sound of her baby crying would hum throughout the walls. She smiled as she rubbed her stomach, staring at the perfect nursery. The only thing missing was her son or daughter.

"Can I come in?" asked a soft voice and an even softer knock.

She looked up. It was Nathan.

"Yeah", she answered.

He walked into the room slowly.

"Look, I…"

"Please…leave it off", she instructed referring to the light he was about to turn on.

"Sorry", he mumbled. "Look, it's Christmas Eve and all and our families are downstairs and this place is gonna be a madhouse tonight and tomorrow so I wanted to give you your present early."

"You didn't have to get me anything", she answered quietly.

"I know…but I wanted to. So here. I hope you like it."

He handed her a small box and she opened it, the glow from the moon shining in was the only source of light. Megan opened it slowly gasping as she saw what was inside. It was a simple gold, rope chain with an amber pendant. She smiled. She loved things like that and he knew it. It was simple and beautiful.

"I love it, Nathan. Thank you."

"I'm glad. I've got some more stuff for you under the tree but I wanted to give this to you now."

"It's beautiful."

He nodded and shifted his weight.

"Yeah…well, I'm gonna get back downstairs to the madness. Grandpa is passing out the cigars and eggnog and Grandma is on the piano playing for the Christmas Carol sing along."

Megan smiled.

"Sounds fun."

"Oh yeah", he playfully rolled his eyes. "It's a real hoot."

She nodded at him.

"You go on ahead. I'll be down in a minute."

"You sure? I mean, I know it's a lot to deal with. If you don't feel like being around a bunch of people, I understand. I could just tell them you're resting…"

"No. It's okay. As good as that sounds, I think I'll be alright. May as well deal with it now. I have to face them sometime, right?"

"Right", he nodded.

"Hey Nathan?" she called out to him.

She played with the piece of jewelry in her hands.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for my necklace", Meg said again. "It's a really great present."

He smiled in the darkness and disappeared in the hallway. Her fingers played with the amber stone. She sighed. It was the perfect gift from the man she loved. Her husband. She was six months pregnant with their child and it was their first married Christmas. It should have been the happiest time of her life but it wasn't. Instead it was a time of fear and confusion mixed with a little mass hysteria. They had been through so much. So many times she had questioned his motives for marriage and his love for her. Now for the first time, she was questioning her love for him.

She would always love him. He would always have a chunk of her heart. They would always be connected through their child. But hanging onto a dream and hoping for change and an ending of happily ever after no longer cut it. It wasn't fair to anyone.

Closing her eyes, she summoned the strength she had left. She clasped the chain securely around her neck and stood. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't hide out forever. It was time to face the family. Reluctantly she walked down the stairs to the first floor of her home that was filled with various people happily drinking and talking. Eggnog and brandy, along with an assortment of cookies lined the kitchen.

"Meg! There you are, my darling", Laurie hugged. "Just in time to join the party. It's in full swing. Now how was your nap?"

"Fine, Mom."

"You're looking rested and beautiful."

"Thanks…"

"The photographer will be here in the morning to take the family portrait by the tree and…"

"Tomorrow? But Mom, it's Christmas."

"Of course it is."

"Who works on Christmas?"

"We should be lucky. He's very good. It won't take long. Right after sunrise mass, then a nice family breakfast and…"

Laurie hugged her and began to go on and on about the tree and Christmas and pictures and everything else. Megan thought she might lose it and start screaming right then and there but she was saved by the image of her little sister, standing over their mother's shoulder, poking her tongue out. It wasn't much but a silly face from Samantha was enough to save her sanity, even if it was only temporarily.

"Megan, come sit by me", Mae beckoned. "We could use your voice, dear."

Meg hesitantly sat by Mae at the piano. She looked around. Her entire family was there. So were Keith and Jules, Dan and Deb and of course Royal and Mae. Dan looked at her and smirked, raising his glass at her. She suppressed the urge to vomit.

"Okay. On my count. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, take it from the top, girls…"

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,

Underneath the mistletoe last night,

She didn't see me creep,

Down the stairs to have a peep,

She thought I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep,

It was like a freak show. The Powell's cheerily joined in as a more subdued Deb, Keith and Karen sang along as just not to hurt Mae's feelings. But wearing a Santa hat and doing a little jig by the tree was Dan. Megan shook her head. What a nerve he had to defame the good name of Santa Claus by wearing that hat. She looked over at her husband. Nathan was scowling, apparently thinking the same thing.

Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus,

Underneath his beard so snowy white,

Oh what a laugh it would have been,

If Daddy had only seen

Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

"That was a hit, gang!" Mae clapped her hands. "I say we take our act on the road."

Megan sighed. Please God, just let it be over soon.

"Look!" Jules pointed. "It's snowing. Looks like we're gonna have a white Christmas after all."

They all looked outside. The flakes were really coming down, starting to coat the yard and pavement.

"I know", Mae thought. "Let's sing It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas. That's one of my favorites.

Just great, Meg thought. She adored her husband's grandmother but enough was enough already.

"Boy, where are you going in this weather?" Royal asked out loud as he saw Nathan slipping into his coat.

"I…I just have some stuff to do."

"What stuff? It's Christmas. Your family is here. Your wife is here. And the roads are starting to get slick. What on earth could you have to do that's so important?"

Nathan sighed and shrugged.

"It just is. Look, I'll be back."

He nodded at Megan and walked out the door before his grandfather could further protest or God forbid his father join in. There were whispered murmurs but Mae began to play the notes and the caroling began again. Megan and Deb exchanged worried glances.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,

Everywhere you go,

Take a look in the five and ten,

Glistening once again,

With candy canes and silver lanes aglow

Megan turned her attention the falling snow. She took a deep breath. Yeah, so much for a Merry Christmas, she thought as she rubbed her belly. Her sad blue eyes never left the window as she followed the tail lights until they disappeared down the long, winding, paved drive.