Chapter 29

As Time Goes By

The light was harsh on his eyes as he opened them. He cleared his throat, which felt very dry, and wondered why there was a vague taste of salt on his tongue. He felt thirsty. What on earth had happened? It seemed like he was in the hospital wing – but why? He racked his brains, trying to think, but unsuccessfully; he had no idea what had brought him here.

'Good morning, Professor Lupin,' said the brisk, cheerful voice of Madam Pomfrey. 'Awake, are we?'

'What – what's happened to me?' Lupin stammered, his tongue sticking to his palate as he spoke. 'Can I have some water please,' he added in a hoarse whisper. Madam Pomfrey looked at him pityingly as she held the goblet to his mouth, supporting his thin frame so that he could drink.

'You won't remember much of what has happened, Professor,' she said, tucking in his blanket, 'you see, you forgot to add the salt to the Wolfsbane Potion, so you turned into a ...'

'A what?' Lupin looked alarmed. 'Surely not a Krup? That's supposed to be a very rare side effect –' At the look of Madam Pomfrey he fell silent. 'You don't mean to say – but then I must have been like this for days!'

Madam Pomfrey cleared her throat. 'Well, no, Professor, I'm afraid you've been unconscious for over a month. You turned into a wolfskin rug, you see.'

'What? I didn't even know that was possible. But – what did you say? Over a month? What about my mission – who went on my mission?'

'Ah, yes ... Professor Dumbledore sent Professor Snape on your mission. He isn't back yet, and we don't know when he will be.'

Lupin made as if to get up straight away.

'Now please, Professor, there's no use in getting up; even if you could find Professor Snape you wouldn't be able to remain on your feet for more than five minutes. Lie back now.'

'Oh – oh – but I need to see Harry, at least; I need to talk to him, to explain –' Lupin looked agitated and worn, his arms still covered in short, soft wolf's fur, not quite gone yet, his face ashen.

It took him a while, but in the end he managed to persuade Madam Pomfrey to fetch Harry after she had served him his evening meal, which consisted of thin, bland gruel.

'Only a few minutes,' Madam Pomfrey said sternly as she ushered Harry into the room. Harry looked thin and pale, Lupin thought, and more distant than he had only a month ago.

'Harry, I'm so sorry about all the trouble I've caused you,' Lupin said quietly as soon as Madam Pomfrey had left the room.

Harry looked confused. 'What do you mean? How are you feeling, Professor?' he added concernedly.

'Never mind me, Harry. I'm to blame for it all. If it hadn't been for my stupid mistake I would be away on that mission, not Severus. It is all my fault.'

'Oh well,' Harry said dully. 'As long as you're all right, Professor.'

'You have every right to blame me, Harry – I was a thoughtless, selfish ... idiot, not to let Professor Dumbledore help me in the first place.'

'But I'm not – blaming you, that is. What would be the point? If anyone's to blame, it's Voldemort.' Harry sighed tiredly. 'Don't worry about me, Professor; I'm fine.'

Lupin looked at him scrutinisingly. Harry looked depressed, not his usual self.

'So, Harry, who is taking my classes? And who's taking Potions?'

'Oh, Kingsley Shacklebolt is teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts,' Harry said carelessly, 'and ... there are various Order members filling in for Professor Snape. They – they've taken Polyjuice Potion, so no one knows he's gone.'

'I see,' said Lupin, 'that must be difficult for you, seeing your father every day, but knowing it's not really him.'

'I'm used to it by now,' said Harry, shrugging. 'At least I know it's not him now ... but never mind – when are you coming back? It'll be nice to have classes with you again. Not that Professor Shacklebolt's doing a bad job.'

'Oh, I'll be back as soon as Madam Pomfrey'll let me. What else is going on these days? How is the Quidditch season shaping up? Er ... Ron still doing all right this season?'

'Oh, Ron's doing fine,' Harry muttered disgruntledly, 'he's doing very well ... Slytherin are in the lead at the moment though. It's only the finals left now – we'll have to win by 190 points to beat them ...' he sighed.

'Ah, but you'll be fine, Harry,' Lupin said cheerfully, 'after all, aren't you the best seeker Gryffindor's ever had ...!'

'I doubt it,' Harry said glumly, but didn't pursue the matter.

'Now that's enough,' came Madam Pomfrey's stern voice from the door, which had just opened. 'Professor Lupin needs his sleep more than ever now.' She looked at Harry accusingly, as if it were his fault that Lupin was lying there, worn and mangled.

Harry, however, almost looked relieved at the opportunity to escape from the Quidditch discussion. He got up quickly.

'Harry – are you sure you're all right?' Lupin said, eyeing Harry concernedly. He was not at all sure that Harry was feeling as good as he said.

'I'm fine, Professor Lupin. Like I said, don't worry about me.'

Over the next few months, however, Lupin did not cease to worry about Harry. The more he watched him, the more concerned he became; quite contrary to what he had said, Harry seemed to be taking Snape's absence hard. He didn't seem to be able to concentrate in class, yet Defence Against the Dark Arts was his favourite subject. When they had done the Patronus charm, Harry had failed to produce a satisfactory Patronus – Lupin hadn't let on, of course, but he had been shaken to see Harry's bad performance during that lesson in particular. The Slytherins seemed to have found that amusing, however, especially Draco Malfoy. In moments such as this it was especially annoying that all four houses had NEWT-level Defence Against the Dark Arts classes together.

In the beginning, just after he had left the hospital wing, Lupin had often seen Harry and his friends together, but then, as the weeks went by, he increasingly got to see Harry on his own, brooding. He could think of no way to help Harry, however, even though he tried – after all he had a lot to think about himself; the time he'd spent as a wolfskin rug had taken its toll and he had to do all sorts of things for the Order, since so many of its members were busy impersonating Snape at some moment or other.

The month of June came fast, therefore, and the Quidditch finals were just around the corner, Lupin wrapping up his classes as summer began. Lupin had watched the Gryffindor team practise a few times in the past weeks, and had been alarmed to see that Harry's performance on the pitch was just as bad as it was in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Quidditch and Defence Against the Dark Arts had always been the two things that Harry really excelled at. This was not so anymore. Lupin hoped that he would have time to get his act together during practice in time for the match against Slytherin.

The day of the finals arrived mercilessly soon, however; a hot, sunny day, the air quivering above the stands and the goalposts. Many of the students had burnt their skin in the past few days, and almost everybody was sweating profusely as they began to make their way out to the Quidditch pitch. Lupin decided to go and seek out Harry in the Gryffindor changing room, to wish him luck at least, if he could do nothing else. As he walked past the Slytherin changing room, however, he ran into the polyjuiced Professor Snape. Lupin wondered briefly who was on duty, but then remebered that it was Kingsley Shacklebolt's turn to impersonate the Potions Master today.

'Hello, Severus,' Lupin said with a grin. 'Been to give your team a pep talk, have you?'

Kingsley raised an eyebrow in a very Snapelike manner. There was a large group of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs standing nearby, so he needed to keep his cover. 'You could say that,' he said condescendingly.

They began walking together toward the other team's changing rooms.

'Where are you headed?' Kingsley went on.

As the crowd of students thinned, Lupin lowered his voice and said, 'I'm going to have a word with Harry –' he looked around, 'I'm worried about him.'

Kingsley looked at him but said nothing.

'I don't know if you've noticed,' Lupin went on, 'but Harry hasn't taken his father's absence well at all. I don't know what he's like in Potions, but in my classes he's been performing abysmally these past weeks – and Defence Against the Dark Arts always used to be his favourite subject, after all ...'

'Really?' said Kingsley, looking alarmed. 'Is it that bad?'

'I'm afraid so. You don't see him as often as I do, I suppose, but he really has changed. I just hope he doesn't do too badly in today's match, because his performance in Quidditch has been affected as well.'

'The Slytherins will never let him forget it if he makes a fool of himself,' Kingsley said thoughtfully. 'Do you really think this is all because of his father's absence?'

Lupin was about to say yes, but was interrrupted by raised voices just outside the Gryffindor changing room. There was a group of Quidditch players from both teams there, and in the centre of the group were Harry and Draco Malfoy. They both had their wands out, and were eyeing each other contemptuously. Before Lupin had time to react, he noticed that Kingsley was already standing between them and had snatched Harry's wand out of his hand. Malfoy looked smugly at Harry.

'What's going on here?' Kingsley demanded coldly.

'Potter,' Malfoy spat, 'has trimmed his broomstick, sir!'

Lupin strode forward to come to Harry's defence. 'What makes you think that, Draco?'

'Pansy says she intercepted one of his owls to Quality Quidditch Supplies,' Malfoy began, and she –'

'Well, what business does she have reading other people's letters?' Lupin interrupted angrily.

'She already suspected him of course,' Malfoy drawled.

'And rightly so,' Kingsley sneered, 'Potter is well known for breaking school rules, and any other rules for that matter.'

Malfoy looked triumphantly at Harry, who looked as if he couldn't care less what happened.

'Well, all the brooms are examined by Madam Hooch before the match at any rate,' Lupin said calmly. 'If Harry's broom has been tampered with, she'll know.' He gave Malfoy a suspicious glance, and turned to Harry. 'You haven't left your broom unattended anywhere, have you?'

Harry shook his head.

'I haven't done anything with it, if that's what you mean!' Malfoy snarled.

'I'll thank you not to accuse my students unfoundedly, Lupin,' Kingsley snapped. Then he turned to Malfoy. 'You'd better get back to your changing room, Draco. And don't worry about Potter –' he gave Harry a fleeting look, 'he can't even play a decent game of chess.'

Malfoy gave Harry a final sneer, then turned around and left without another word.

'We'd better go too, Harry,' said Katie Bell, a worried look on her face.

'Yeah, c'mon, mate,' said Ron, who'd been watching the scene anxiously.

Harry, however, did not seem to hear them. He was staring at Kingsley Shacklebolt, who was looking back at him, his expression inscrutable.

'Harry, really!' said Katie impatiently.

'I'm coming,' said Harry, his eyes still on Kingsley. He gave a slight smile as Kingsley gave him back his wand, then turned around and walked into the changing room with his team-mates.

Lupin looked around. There were no students nearby. 'That was taking it a bit far, wasn't it, Kingsley? That's not what the boy needs right now.'

Kingsley looked at him disdainfully. 'I'm not Kingsley,' he said, and walked swiftly in the direction of the stalls.

Lupin stared after him. Surely Kingsley was the one on duty today? He had looked at the Snape schedule only this morning, and he was sure it had had Shacklebolt's name on it. If that had not been Kingsley, then who was it? If it was Tonks, she had really outdone herself. Or could it be Moody? He shook his head and left for the stalls himself.

The players were already on the pitch when he reached his seat next to Professor McGonagall. Once more he looked wonderingly at Professor Snape, or rather, his impersonator, who was sitting two seats further down. Who on earth was this? He thought of asking Professor McGonagall, but noticed that the match had just begun, and turned to look at it instead.

To Lupin's amazement, this turned out to be one of the most exciting and unpredictable Quidditch finals in Hogwarts history. Harry flew as if he indeed had trimmed his broomstick, weaving in and out between the other players, making sure that he always knew what Malfoy was up to. He had a tricky job, making sure Malfoy didn't catch the snitch, and was frustratingly close to it himself on several occasions, but couldn't catch it since Gryffindor had to be forty points ahead to win. Harry looked at Ginny once in a while, Lupin noticed – she was doing a great job as a chaser, and no doubt Harry was hoping that she and the others would soon score enough goals for him to be able to catch the snitch.

Dumbledore was watching the game with interest, looking benignly at both teams as they sped about the pitch, while McGonagall looked as if she were taking part in the match herself, cheering animatedly when Gryffindor scored. Snape – whoever he was – looked as if he couldn't care less how the match went.

There was some commotion in the crowds, and McGonagall rose to see better, the other teachers following her example. Gryffindor were in the lead by sixty points now, Lupin saw on the score board, and he could just barely see Harry making a spectacular dive to the base of one of the Slytherin goal posts where he, some seconds later, held the snitch triumphantly for everyone to see. Malfoy watched in fury from the other side of the pitch, his broom shaking slightly as the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs gave a roaring cheer.

Amid the deafening noise, Dumbledore leaned over to McGonagall. 'Congratulations, Minerva,' he said merrily, 'a well deserved victory, I daresay.' He turned to Snape. 'Better luck next time, Severus!' He then lowered his voice so that it became barely audible. 'Or perhaps congratulations are in order to you too?' His eyes twinkled.

'Thank you, Headmaster,' Snape said softly.

At that moment Lupin realised what he should have realised a long time ago – Snape was back.

Author's note: Thanks to all those faithful reviewers – and readers – who follow this story although the time between updates can sometimes be long. I hope you enjoyed this.