Two Blink, Gone
(Second ATHF Fic and the first one ever, anywhere, of any kind at all, done in Wordpad, meaning it might have even worse spelling and grammar! Wich also means that I have a word for those freaks, with whom spelling is all manner of life. Sit and spin you muthas! Sorry, practicing my shake there! Anyway, on to the fiction!)
Frylock sighed to himself as he looked at his ceiling, laying on his bed in his room. He floated up to his window and looked out to the side of Carl's house, but more at the sky. Meatwad rolled into the room with a smile, Frylock immediately sensing his presence. He turned around and rose an eyebrow.
"Meatwad, it's four in the morning, what are you doing up and how did you get in here?"
"Well, I cant sleep, 'cuz Shake said that if I slept, I would be visited by the three ghosts of Dracula, and have my brain taken away, even if it is a damn toy, and they would eat it, again if it is a damn toy. But I didnt beleve him, so he injected sugar water into me, so I is buzzed now."
Frylock nodded slowly and sighed. "Well...I'm thinking about the lack of intelegence in the world...It's disturbing, really. To think of all of the world's knowledge is being used to archive...soda pop jingles and what is on T.V..." Frylock made another unhappy sigh. "Sometimes I really think that intelegent people like myself are a dying breed...forced to accept the mind numbing atrocities of the hip-hop soda-pop modern day world..." The words were profound, the sort of words you found on some Primetime drama special about four kids and a single dad and a dog with a cocaine addiction fighting against space aliens in Morocco...Yeah, that's another one of my story ideas, it rocks and you know it.
"...I'm gonna pretend I know what all that means." Meatwad said rather happily. Frylock groaned and shook his head.
"See, that's what I mean! It seems as if I cant even speak to people let alone teach them!"
"Well, that probably stems from an inability to communicate to people on a social level, due to a complete lack of understanding for the social niceties of...of"
"Of what, Meatwad?" Frylock looked down at Meatwad with an angry and offended look, but every word was probably true.
"I dunno the rest. I was readin' your book on "Psychoanalogy" when Shake took it away and hit me with it, says I dont need that stuff and it is all babble that makes people into...Dracula's mind slaves."
Frylock groaned Shake always managed to stick Dracula's involvement in somewhere.
"First of all, that was my damn book. Second of all, you and shake and Carl couldn't even tell me who the current Prime Minister of Great Britain is!"
Meatwad scoffed. "Pissh, that's easy. George Clinton."
Frylock just stared at Meatwad with anger."See, that's my damn point!"
"Would you two stop phiosophising and shut the hell up already!" Shake said as he shook into the room, holding a Louisville Slugger in one of his yellow gloved hands.
"Well, Meatwad wanted to know why I was depressed and that--"
"I don't care, it's FOUR IN THE MORNING! I NEED MY SLEEP!" Shouted Shake.
"Listen, you don't need to shout..."
"Yes I do, because that is the only way it's going to get into your meat and potato heads!"
"Now listen here boy, that was uncalled for!" Meatwad said with disconcern.
"You, you know what is going to be uncalled, my acting career! I need to get up and go for scour for auditions! Otherwise, it's gonna be 'This summer, My Acting Carreer, the Legend of the Never Going To Happen!"
"Shake, calm down, go back to sleep..." Frylock said, as Shake huffed.
"Well, that isint going to happen now! Once I am awoken, I can not be unwoken, for you have awoke a sleeping giant, mutha!"
"Pshh, you aint no giant! Your a damn milkshake..."
"Not that you should be talking, your a foot tall!"
"WOULD THE TWO OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET THE (bleep) OUT OF MY ROOM!"
Shake scooted out quickly, knowing that an angered Frylock was not something to play around with. Meatwad on the other hand just sorta looked at him.
"Thanks for tellin' him off...he gets real annoying like that."
"You too meatwad!"
"Shoot...Thought I had you there..."
It was now a much more reasonable time of day now, and Frylock was busy on a device that looked rather much like a pistol or sub-machine gun asside from the fact that it had the archetypical sci-fi laser gun barrel. He smiled and walked into the living room.
"Everyone, come in here!"
"I didn't do it, whatever it is Meatwad did it!"
"Damnit Shake, just come in here!"
Shake scooted in and sighed, as meatwad rolled in. "Oh hey Frylock, what's up?" The piece of animate meat said with a smile.
"Yes, please enlighten us with whatever piece of crap you made now..." Shake said, knowing what this was all about.
"Gentlemen," said Frylock ignoring Shake's comment. "I give you...BRAINGRO!" He said as he presented the gun-type device.
Shake sorta stared at Frylock for a moment...one blink, two blinks...
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means it grows brains!"
"Oh, that's great Frylock! Why don't you just plant a few in the ground, water until those brain-stems show!"
"It grows brains while they are in people's skulls, shake!"
"What's the point of that! All you gotta do is eat some cantaloupe and fish sticks! I can tell you, it worked for me! Made me have the runnin (bleep)'s for a week, though, but such is the price of brilliance."
"Well, let's see how this one fits!" Frylock said as he aimed the device at Shake.
"What! W-Waidaminute!"
Frylock fired without mercy, sending a beam straight at Shake...
And he vanished in a puff of smoke...And Frylock stared with open mouth and wide eyes.
"Goodness Frylock, you gone done disintegrated him!"
"Oh...My god...what have I done!"
"You know...this seems oddly familiar..."
Meatwad gazed down at the empty grave, solemn faced, with Carl and Frylock at his sides.
"Listen, Fry-Man...As much as I...disliked, Shake, I cant help but wonder if I should bring the cops in on this..."
Frylock got an angry look and rose the weapon.
"Um, okay...I, ah...retract my statement...from earlier..."
"Good...Now, lets say a prayer..." Frylock said as he bowed his head.
"Um...Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, amen."
"Damnit Meatwad!"
"I was just sayin' a prayer, Frylock! You say one if you know so damn many!"
"Fry-Man, look...I have better things to do here than mourn over a Styrofoam cup, okay? As far as I'm concerned, it's one less annoyance to deal with."
"Would the two of you shut up and show some respect for Shake!"
They went silent again, before Carl coughed a little bit.
"Ahm...well...This was..fun, but I gotta go...do some...browsing...for porno...Heheh...gonna be sweet..." Carl said, as he walked away. Frylock sighed loudly.
Frylock sat in the chair Shake used to sit in, looking at the T.V he used to watch. He sighed and looked at Meatwad. Meatwad rolled in and looked around slowly.
"Although I do not like getting hit all the time...I gotta say, I miss Shake..."
"Why's that Meatwad?" Frylock said half-heartedly.
"'Cuz its borin' around here if he aint here..."
"Suprisingly, that's the same reason for me...Let's go see what Carl's up to."
So off Meatwad and Frylock went to Carl, who was splashing around inside of his pool. He looked rather bored as well, so the two remaining Aqua Teens moved over to the side of the pool.
"Hey Carl! What's up?" Frylock said with a smile. Carl just sort of stared at him.
"I'll tell you right now, you cant come in this pool..."
"Shoot Carl, you got us all wrong, we's bored since Shake got disintegrated..."
"Meatwad, that's ridiculous!"
"Well, that's what you told me."
"Shut-up..."
"Oh, no, I get what you guys is sayin'...I'm feeling pretty bored myself...I gotta admit, all the crazy ass crap you usually do, that usually annoys the hell outa me...keeps all the loneliness way..."
There was an awkward silence for awhile.
"Well...Carl...Um...We're gonna go..."
"Sure, whatever..."
Frylock awoke from a boredom-induced nap to find his window had been blocked out...He assumed it was night time, but seeing what happened to be cardboard made him think twice. He floated out to the back-yard to find what was practicably a forest of Cardboard cut-outs, all looking like various 'villains' from their past. Currently, Meatwad was battling with a twenty foot tall "Happy Time Harry", which was nothing more than a frowning face with squiggle lines to indicate a baldness...which one way or another is how they all looked, as well as being disproportionate. Frylock floated over a four inch tall Rabbot and a seventeen foot tall cardboard dedication to Ignignokt, who was just a smiley face. Where Meatwad found such cardboard and how he managed to sculpt said cardboard into such towering behemoths was a mystery.
"Hey Frylock! You suck, just cuz...you gonna die...And you know why your in that box...cuz you gonna die..."
"Meatwad, what the hell is all this!"
Meatwad looked to the next door building to the right. "Those people's pet cat, Bart, he told me to make these statues out of plaster. But since I aint got plaster, nor do I know what that is, I stuck with cardboard, cuz cardboard is easy to cart around. I made this one just for you frylock, not for Bart."
There, somehow missed among all others, was a hundred foot tall cardboard statue of Master Shake. Frylock floated, mouth agape and eyes wide at the towering cardboard figure which loomed before all around it.
"How...How did you..."
"What? Make it? Bart helped. Now, let's play with my new doll!"
"Wha-MEATWAD, NO!"
Meatwad touched the percariously balancing totem, and it started to fall...and it slammed right into the Aqua Teen's home...
As the dust settled, Carl came rushing out, seeing the destruction.
"Okay, whatever the hell is going on in here, I think it qualifies for calling of the police department, okay? You freaks have truly lost your minds!"
"Meatwad, what have you done!"
At that exact moment, a figure thought long dead (dead for about four days) came back to them...walking down the street with a beard that was trimmed only by when he stepped on it. Everyone stood wide eyed, but most wide eyed of all was Shake himself.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY (HONK)ING HOUSE!"
He imedately ran to the back yard, looking at Frylock who was floating with his mouth still wide open, and his eyes in a similar manner.
"I leave, for four days, and you DESTROY MY ENTIRE WORLD!"
"We didnt do nothin', it was all Bart's fault!" Meatwad protested. Frylock still floated there, stunned.
"W-waitaminute, arent you supposed to, you know, be disintegrated?" Carl said with wide eyes.
"No, unfortunately, I would rather be disintegrated! Do you know that in that house was my favorite chair, and my T.V, and all of my STUFF IN THE (TOOT)ING WORLD! MY ANGER SHALL KNOW NO BOUNDS!"
Imedately, Shake spun to Frylock, who was still floating there as before.
"You, this is all YOUR FAULT! HAH! At least, I know that for once, SOMETHING YOU DID GETS YOU IN TROUBLE! And you blasted me with that laser gun! Do you know where I ended up! WINSCONSON! I WILL NEVER GET THE SMELL OF COW (JINGLE) OUT OF MY NOSE EVER AGAIN! I had to WALK all the way here! I was mauled by a bear, I lost my damn right hand!"
"Well, at least it aint my fault."
"Oh, no, your wrong there. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT, I JUST...Just gotta find a reason WHY is all!" Shake looked back to Frylock, who remained floating. "Now I have the final word in this, I hate all of you, and I am leaving, for good!" Shake said as he looked at Frylock...
Shake poked him once, and Frylock fell to the ground like a stone, as Carl slowly backed away to call the police.
"...You know, Guatemala seems like a nice place to visit this time of year..." Shake said, as he ran off, only to be hit by a meteorite.
"Err, I told you that I am the best moon-rock thrower in all of the moon, which is where I live and where the rocks come from."
"Damn, that thing went all the way to earth!"
"Yes, that pathetic blue orb is now aware of the fury I can bring upon it with my rock-throwing rage."
"Think it hit anyone?"
"No-one important."
(End Song)
(My Second ATHF, subcame more to randomness than last time, the most separators and caps used for me, I think. Anyway...I hope you review because I am doing this as hard as I can, pathetic earth cavemen.)