Chapter 3: Where the Hell are They Coming From?

"Detention for the rest of your lives!"

Ron shivered at her very words, as he and Draco watched a very peeved Deputy Headmistress pace back and forth. The two, after a wondrous hours of flying around the Quidditch Pitch, found themselves planted on the leather seats of the Headmaster's office...and not for afternoon tea.

"Lemon drop?" Dumbledore asked, as he lifted the tray before the two boys.

"Albus! Really now is not the time!" McGonagall huffed angrily. "These boys are..."

"Probably very hungry for missing breakfast. Don't worry Minerva, it's just a lemon drop." He interrupted, the twinkle in his eye and a smile playing on his thin lips. He shook the tray a bit to jostle the shocked boys back to reality. "Well?"

"Oh...umm..." Draco muttered softly, before shaking his head, "No thanks."

"And you Mr. Weasley?"

"Oh I'll take a bunch if that's alright Headmaster!" Ron replied happily, as he slowly and meticulously placed a few in the palm of his hand. When the redhead returned to his seat, he immediately began to chew loudly on one, causing McGonagall's glare to deepen...significantly.

"Now continuing where I left off..." she sent Dumbledore a pointed look, "...before I was so rudely interrupted... Food everywhere, house elves very unhappy, the entire Ravenclaw House ready to throttle you, and that's only half of the story! What were you exactly thinking? Or were you even thinking at all? I HAVE NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS SEEN SUCH BEHAVIOR, NOT EVEN FROM THE WEASLEY TWINS!"

"Now Minerva...I do recall a time when..."

"ALBUS THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO COMPARE NOTES!"

Gulp.

"Sorry."

"Now boys, before I punish you with three months of detention, no Hogsmeade privileges until winter, and complete and utter hell until the summer, would you like to explain to me WHAT COMPELLED YOU TO DO SUCH A THING?"

"SHE'S CRAZY!" the redhead yelled out immediately, his blue eyes wide and full of fear. Draco's own eyes followed suit, as the two started "telling" their side of the story with earnest.

"Grabbed him in the closet and molested him!"

"And don't forget slapped him without any reason!"

"Forced him to eat lettuce of all things!"

"Nearly yelled his ear off! I'm surprised he's not deaf yet!"

"Called him 'cute'! I mean WHO CALLS A GUY 'CUTE'?"

"AND WE JUST DON'T LIKE HER!" both boys cried out as the grand and final reason, before plopping down on their leather chairs and breathing heavily.

McGonagall could only stare in complete disbelief, while Dumbledore cracked a smile behind his hand.

"Is that all boys?" she asked after a few seconds of silence.

Two nods.

"Well then, you may go."

And with that, the two boys scurried out of the office and down the steps like a bolt of lightning.

Once out of sight, the Deputy Headmistress plopped down on the most adjacent chair –once seated by the redhead- and held her head in the palm of her hands. "Oh Albus, those boys are going to be the end of me," she moaned loudly, causing many of the portraits to "aww" in pity.

"Oh Minerva," Dumbledore replied, as he handed her a tissue and a cup of tea, "I doubt two boys with a mischievous streak will be the death of you... maybe a snake with large claws, or so Sibyll predicted... but definitely not two boys."

The Deputy Headmistress sent him a deep glare, as she muttered unhappily, "Albus, you are completely failing to make this situation any better."

"Well it could've been worse," he replied with a twinkle in his eye.

"Give me one reason how this ruddy day could be any worse!" she snapped back, challenging him.

Carefully he took out a small bowl, which Minerva immediately recognized as his pensive, and started to search through the memories sealed within. He then summoned a lifetime of memories of two boys, a redhead and a blonde, beating the absolute shit out of each other. As the years passed swiftly before her eyes and the boys grew to become young men, she suddenly knew what Dumbledore meant.

After Dumbledore stopped the flow of recollections and returned the pensive to its rightful place, he found Minerva sagged into her chair, a little scowl on her face. "I hate you, you know that."

"Yes, yes," he replied, a wide grin now on his features.

Silence.

"Five galleons for two months."

A handshake.

"Deal."

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Once out of the Professor McGonagall's clutches, Ron and Draco let out a breath of relief as the two made their way down the winding stairs and towards the main corridor of the school.

"I thought she would've expelled us for sure," the redhead whispered to his companion, as he wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead.

"Or at least hung us with our ties," the blonde prefect answered back, though he didn't copy his friend's movements. Sweating in any circumstance was completely undignified for a Malfoy. "Though it is a pity that Hogsmeade is completely off limits now."

"Well legally that is."

Draco's eyes widened significantly, as he turned to his friend and cried, "Ron Weasley! Never in my day...how could you even think of such a horrific thing?"

Raised eyebrow. "Are you trying your impression of Hermoine again?"

"Did it work?"

"Remember last week when I told you that you were absolute shit."

Eyes wide with hope. "And?"

"You're still absolute shit."

Silence.

"Well worth a shot."

Ron opened his mouth to retort, but a cool hand on his arm prevented him from...thinking. The redhead turned his head and looked down to find a pretty brunette walking right besides him. Her blue eyes were shining brilliantly and her lips were set in a lovely grin. But all those qualities, really lovely qualities Ron would confess later on, were easily forgotten by the single fact that her hand was latched onto his arm.

Weird.

"Umm, hi?" the redhead tried after several failed attempts to regain his voice.

"Yes, hello," Draco added sharply, while a glare set in. He hated it when people interrupted conversations, especially when it was his conversation in the first place!

Unfortunately the idiot -Draco's nickname for her later on- didn't get the message by a mile and continued to smile up at Ron like he was offering her a million galleons and a beach home in the Bahamas.

"Hi," she flirtatiously replied back, with an added wink for good measure.

Ron was now thoroughly confused. "Right..." he ran a hand through his hair, "I think you have the wrong person. Umm, maybe you're looking for Alex in Hufflepuff. He has bright red hair like mine too."

But when she only latched on tighter, Ron knew she wasn't looking for Alex at all...or anyone else for that matter.

Now throughout this very short exchange, Draco was becoming more annoyed by the second. "WHO DOES THIS GIRL THINK SHE IS?" he practically screamed in his head once the girl started to casually play with Ron's hair like she was his eww girlfriend. "Can you bloody leave already?" he mumbled angrily once her fingers started to trail lower.

The girl apparently heard him, for she looked up at him for the first time. Slowly, as if calculating a very difficult problem, she looked at Ron and Draco, then Ron again. Then, much to the boys' confusion, her lips formed a small "O" before untangling herself from the redhead's arm and walking away...

...muttering like a crazy fool.

"Well that was weird," Ron said nonchalantly as he and Draco continued their trek down the hallway.

"You act as if random girls come up to you everyday and start..." Draco sneered at the very thought, "No, too gross to even talk about."

Laughter. "You're just like Harry."

"WHAT?"

"Well whenever..."

But his voice trailed off as another girl, this time a Slytherin, came up to the two. "Hello Draco," she murmured seductively.

"Hello."

"Loved the fight this morning, it was absolutely..." she licked her lips, "Exhilarating."

"Cool."

"Well see you around." And with that, she passed by them with ease and down the hall.

Ron watched her figure disappear around a corner before he set his eyes on Draco. "That was random."

"Yea, don't see that everyday."

Silence.

"So how the hell am I like scarhead again?"

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In the shadows of the same corridor, Hermoine watched the two oblivious boys pass her by. With a sigh she turned to the two girls hiding behind her.

"And they didn't do anything at all?" she asked them one more time, just in case.

Both shook their head, much to her disappointment.

"He acted like I was going to eat him alive or something," the girl who "flirted" with Ron spoke up.

The Slytherin for Draco nodded her head in agreement, "He barely spoke to me. And that's something since I usually see him yacking his mouth off to Ron."

The Gryffindor prefect let out a sigh, as thoughts began to swirl in her head. "Now why would they do that..."

"Umm, well Hermoine it did seem like the two were very...into each other," one of the girls answered.

Hermoine only gave them an incredulous look, before her eyes lit up with excitement. "That's it! I just have to distract them..." She began to mumble under her breath, though the other two girls couldn't catch a word.

"Wow, Granger is really nuts," the Slytherin whispered to her friend as Hermoine began to make weird hand gestures in the air. Her companion just nodded, as she glued her eyes to the brunette before them.

"Alright girls," Hermoine spoke after a brief episode of insanity, "Send in the troops. We are going to war!"

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If Ron or Draco knew what would happen next, both would have chosen to stay in bed with the pillow over their heads and refuse to move an inch until the day ended or Hermoine was locked up in a loony bin.

Unfortunately they did not.

So as the two continued their way towards the Slytherin Dungeons –Draco had to get his books after all and Ron refused to go anywhere alone after the "creepy-girls-are-after-me" incidents- the two noticed a good number of girls passing them by...every single second.

"Hey sexy," the twentieth one asked, as she "casually" brushed her hand against Ron's arm.

Draco was having his own problems as a set of twins passed him by, each grabbing a piece of his arse with their "friendly" greeting.

"Ron," Draco muttered to his shocked friend as the set of girls wandered away, "What the hell did you do?"

Ron, who was now blushing from all the unnecessary attention, shot back, "ME? How the hell is this all my fault?"

"Well, you're the one who started this mess in the first place!" Draco grumbled angrily, before mumbling the Slytherin password. "And anyways," he continued once the two entered the Common Room, "Only an idiot like you would get trapped in a closet and kissed to near death."

"Well excuse me!" Ron shot back as he held the door open for the blonde, "And at least I didn't get harassed by getting my arse smacked / pinched."

"Which was entirely your fault!" Draco retorted, as he walked through his room. He waited for Ron to enter before he slammed the door shut and double locked. "What?"

Ron shook his head. "Never mind."

"Right."

"Right."

"It's still your fault."

"Back to this again?" the Gryffindor scowled angrily,
"Draco, for the thirteenth time in a row, I did not purposely send those girls to molest us!"

Draco's glare deepened, though he kept his eyes off the redhead and fixated on the pile of papers before him. He started to sort through each and everyone, grumbling as he went about stupid redheads, girls and well Potter...because Potter was just always to blame.

Ron watched the blonde unhappily, as he crossed his arms in defiance. "So what, you're going to ignore me now?"

"No," he replied back, a stack of papers in his hand, "You are going to hold this for me and whatever other things I'm going to shove in your hands for the next five minutes."

"Oh shove off," Ron shot back, though his arms were already outstretched for the Slytherin.

Silence passed as Draco worked to put sort the mess, and Ron struggled to hold the huge pile together before everything toppled over. It was only when Draco finished stuffing everything into his bag –charmed so that it could fit everything and anything- when the two started speaking again.

"Sorry," Draco muttered a bit snappishly, though Ron could tell it was sincere.

"Okay," was his simply reply, as a grin formed on his lips. "Now let's get to the Gryffindor Tower before the 'suck facers' decide to invade it again."

"I doubt that'll happen considering how much homework Blaise and Hermoine would love to tell us all about. Really, why couldn't we have had the food fight on a Saturday..."

Ron smacked his head, very unhappy of the reminder, "Well at least today's Friday so we can just...ignore them...or run away...or whatever."

Suddenly, the two boys heard a tap from the window, as a huge raven came to view. Draco opened it –after taking off five locks, to Ron's amusement- and let the bird come in. Immediately, the bird dropped a letter into the Slytherin's hands and flew out...but not after pecking Ron on the head...four times.

"Goddamn that bird," he cursed with a scowl on his face, before curiously looking over to read the letter over Draco's shoulder. "So you made a fool of yourself with that..." he started to read, before Draco snatched the letter from the redhead's sight.

"Like I'm going to let you read this," he said with a mock grin, "It is from my super secret sexy girlfriend after all!"

"Right, your super secret sexy girlfriend is Professor Snape? I never knew you were into that sort of kinky shit!" Ron replied through bouts of laughter.

Malfoy sent him a rude hand gesture in return. "Now shut up before I actually read all of this out loud and thoroughly embarrass the pants out of you."

Ron snorted, "Like what, 'Ron Weasley is a pig-headed brat who should be wiped out of the face of this earth...or at least as far away from my vision as possible.' Or some jazz like that?"

"Well actually, more like 'Ron Weasley is a pig-headed brat who looks awfully good in arse-less leather chaps and fuzzy pink handcuffs.'"

"Draco...I think I need to throw up 10 YEARS WORTH OF FOOD THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Ron screeched, as Draco laughed...and laughed.

After his laughing fit died down, Draco opened his mouth to retort, before starting another laughing fit...that lasted all from his room to the entrance of the Slytherin dorms. "Well, I shall see to it that your lover is all well and dandy (Ron- oh shut up Malfoy!)," Draco said with a smirk, "While you gather all your crap and head to our spot."

"Fine," Ron grumbled under his breath, though loud enough for the blond to hear, "And you better not be late like last time."

"Ah whatever you say," Draco replied, as he started to make his way the other direction, "King of the Kinky."

"SHUT UP MALFOY!"

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Ah I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! But, here is the story and I hope you enjoy/find extreme entertainment in it! Oh and thanks a huge lot to my reviewers! You guys are so cool!