Chapter Two:
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: The Last High- The Dandy Warhols (Lara Croft: The Cradle of Life Soundtrack)
I lost two more scouts today. These border attacks are becoming far too frequent. It's as if there is a plan or strategy behind them, but I cannot see it. They strike where our defence is the weakest, and in great numbers. These Orcs are also different than usual. We are used to Moria Orcs on our western borders, but these are strange to us. They are much bigger, and bear strange symbols.
I have returned to Caras Galathon to report my findings to Celeborn and to allow my group to rest. I hope he can tell us what is happening- some say that the Dark Lord has indeed returned. If that is true, our time in Lorien may be over, for who will stand up to him? If Lord Celeborn would decide that we should fight I would do it, for the rise of the Dark One will affect not only us, but all of Middle-Earth.
"Haldir!" an elf cried as he ran up beside him. Haldir had walked right by him, lost in dark thought.
"Fëaron! How are you?" His mood had immediately lifted at the sound of his friend's voice.
"I heard we will be in the city for a few days while you report to Celeborn. Since your brothers are away, would you like to have evening meal with my wife and I?" Although his smile did not falter, Haldir had to struggle to respond in an even tone.
"No, but thank you," he said. "You and Nalloth should be together." His friend insisted but he again politely refused. "Another time, mellon nin." Several others under his command extended similar offers, but all were given the same response: he was busy. In reality, all he wanted was to be alone. He loved his soldiers dearly, as if they were his brothers, but he rarely had any time to himself because of it. Sometimes he wished for a day when he could have the time to think, by himself with no distractions. It was a luxury he knew a Captain could not have.
He walked through the tall and graceful Mallorns until he came to the flet that he and his brothers shared. He laid a hand thoughtfully on the soft rope ladder before lightly climbing up to the top.
"You know you can't hide from us, Haldir," said the elf who was sitting cross-legged on the floor waiting for him.
"No, but I can try," he responded with a straight, almost cold expression. He stared at the other elf in disdain for several long minutes, until finally a small unwelcome grin forced its way out onto his face. The two laughed.
"Ah," said the other elf, "still can't beat me, Haldir! And you call yourself a Captain!" Haldir shook his head and sat down.
"No, Lady Galadriel calls me 'Captain', I just happen to agree with her."
"Well I don't," he said, "If you can't even stare down your friend, how do you look on angry Orc in battle?" Haldir grinned.
"With exceedingly great pity for the one who is about to find the edge of my sword," he said. "How are you, Valdir?"
"I'm wondering why you've passed up three dinner invitations to sit alone in your flet and feel sorry for yourself."
"I'm not feeling sorry for myself," said Haldir, "I just want to be alone." Valdir shook his head.
"I think being alone is why you're up here and not out there," he said motioning to the city below them. "I think you're lonely because all your scouts are married and you are not." Haldir stared at his friend for a long time, and as he did Valdir saw his eyes soften as deep emotions flickered in them. He looked down at the smooth wood beneath them and nodded.
"You are right, mellon," he said. "I don't know why, but these past few days all I can think of is that I am alone." He looked up and took a breath as if to speak, but then released it again. He stood and walked to the trunk of the mighty mallorn that grew tall and graceful through the centre of his flet, touching the smooth bark with his hand. "I never wanted or needed this before," he said, almost as if to himself, or possibly the tree before him. "I had the beauty of the mallorns and elanor, The Lord and Lady, and my army, but now…I feel that something is missing. I see the others with their wives and children and I feel incomplete." He turned to his friend who sat listening with quiet support. "You are right," he said again, "I am alone." Valdir shook his head as he stood.
"You aren't alone, Haldir, you still have all those things."
"Yes, but they no longer complete me. But yet," he said as he walked to the edge of his flet and looked out over Lorien, "I can't imagine meeting anyone who will."