Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.
Warning: Touches the thought of suicide.
…...
Raven couldn't concentrate. The girl in the dress-cape sprinted out of the open alley, winded and her bare feet smacking against the pavement.
The nighttime goers watched inquisitively as she pushed past them and continued on, before collapsing into a deserted road. The shadows of downtown Gotham City surrounded her. Her legs had no feeling. She hung onto the street pole, for fear of losing her balance and landing on her face. Raven's violet hair came loose when she struggled to get her boots out of a newly cemented street two blocks back. Now... she was freezing with only her exposed feet and no cloak.
With one hand still clutching the pole, Raven lifted up her end-cape and draped it around her shoulders, shivering.
She ran from the ball; like a coward, she had ran away from Beast Boy's concerned calls and the bright light of the million-dollar chandeliers. She was defenseless in this city of crime. Without a calm mind, her powers wouldn't work. For the sake for her safety, Raven tried to sort out her thoughts.
Robin had deliberately hurt her... or did she just believe that? ...they were both acting like children.
She didn't understand why seeing Starfire and Robin kiss did this to her… it never use to bother her... it never use to hurt so bad…
Maybe her Emotions would know; she'd have to visit Nevermore when she got home… Home. She wondered how she was getting home with no money, in a strange town... Azar, was she smart. Where was that emotion when she needed it? …did Robin mess with her?
That kiss from the club... was that just hormones being flung around? Why did she go along with it when she didn't like Robin like that… she couldn't like Robin like that… she wasn't allowed to like Robin like that… then, why was she acting like this?
She sank onto her knees and tilted her head forward in defeat. She needed herbal tea and her room. Meditating on a sidewalk wouldn't help her.
Raven began chanting under her breath anyway, closing her eyes and letting the corners of her eyes relax.
'At least it couldn't…'
"Get up or I'll blow your fucking brains out."
Raven opened an eye, wearily.
'I spoke too soon.'
A man with a black ski mask pointed a gun barrel just inches from her nose. "Stay quiet and get up slowly." She rose to her feet without question. Coal black eyes through the mask glistened. "Just stay where you are, bitc-" The criminal suddenly took off in a hurry, dropping his gun in a murky puddle.
'Alriight, that wasn't strange at all.'
Gooseflesh crawled up over her arms as a soft, low voice sneered, "It's just us, Raven. No one else."
"How did I know you were there," she said dryly, looking over her shoulder to the red-tattooed Slade. He chuckled.
"You expected it. And you always should."
"I'm sick of you stalking me. This ends now."
A beat-down truck hurled in his direction, encased with black energy as her eyes blazed white. Her powers were back. They fought but Slade was on defense. He got close enough to rip off her cape, exposing a white thigh and pulled it over her head. She broke through it. His searing, red-flamed hand tore the cloth in the stomach, her skin and bellybutton showing.
'ENOUGH!'
Raven threw cars, lamps, signs, tables, sewer pipes at him while screaming and nothing could hurt him. He wasn't making a move.
"I am invincible, you can't stop me."
Heaving, she narrowed her now violet eyes. "Is that so?" Raven crouched down to reach into the murky puddle and picked up the dripping gun.
"What are you doing?"
"There's always a way out," she said, impassively. She placed the barrel against the curve of her neck.
"It would relieve my emotion problem I've been dealing with since I was a little girl. It would hurt you in some way since you obviously can't hurt me, and any way I can hurt you is a good thing. The best part is my Father couldn't come through the portal and destroy the people who used to love me. It's a winning situation, really."
There was a slight waver in his voice, "You can't do it, Raven. You're afraid of death."
"Why would I be afraid? I'm more powerful than you, aren't I?"
"Think about it, Raven; there might be another way."
"...No dice." He came at her and she pulled the trigger without a single flinch. An empty, echoing click. Raven pulled several more times with the same result and he laughed, knocking it clear out of her hand. Her black energy zapped him but he just kept laughing that terrible laughter. She gripped the gun tightly in her fist and the safety clicked off.
Something warm pooled on her exposed leg. Raven looked down numbly to her left arm to see a hole in her wrist, gushing a bright liquid. She dropped the weapon. As it clattered to the ground, she fell along with it. The red stained the velvet of her dress, making the gems shine with crimson light.
Raven murmured, a haze settled over her vision, "That... was my mother's dress..."
"You won't die, Raven. Not when you have the Titans looking for you. I still need you to open the portal." The outline of Slade said his farewell and disappeared into the shadows of Gotham. Only a minute, a measly minute later, a pair of black boots appeared in front of her face. A glove lifted her head off the blacktop. Batman's mask shone under the moonlight.
She breathed, losing the coolness in her tone, her head spinning from the loss of blood, "Took you… long enough."
"RAVEN, ANSWER!"
Batman spoke into the communicator she had left behind, "I've got her."
'Why couldn't they just let me die?'
…..
They thought she had fallen asleep on the ride to Batman's lair and the medical facility. Raven had been awake the entire time but her eyelids refused to open. She healed herself, but that didn't stop whoever was bandaging her up. Once Raven thought she heard Robin calling her name, but she dug herself deeper into darkness, just to escape him.
At some point, Raven heard the gentle speech of Beast Boy, "Rae? Rae, can you hear me?" Maybe if she kept still, he'd go away.
"Raven, I know you're awake. When you're asleep, your lower lip is pushed out and the dents in your cheek show."
Violet eyes met jade eyes.
"I don't want to know how you know that."
She sat up in the white-sheeted cot as Beast Boy smiled shrewdly. There were too many overhead lights. Raven sank down on the bed and looked back at him. "Beast Boy?"
He sat down on the floor beside the cot and folded his arms. "What?"
"I'm sorry for using you."
"Using me?"
"You know... at the party." She mumbled something incoherent, then raised her voice, "...I ruined Robin's birthday party."
"All he cares about is that you're okay. Everyone's going to be happy to hear that you're awake. Now, was I hearing things or were you just apologizing to me?"
"I played with your emotions. I used you for my own petty reasons." Raven lowered her eyes.
Suddenly, Beast Boy looked older. So much older. His face gave the impression of being drawn out and tired.
He said faintly, "Raven," and looked at her face. She nodded and he took her hands. "You and the rest of the Titans think I'm stupid. I know a lot more than you all expect. I'll admit it, I had a huge crush on you for a while. Even when you threatened me, I chased after you, but I could see that it couldn't work. But I want to be close to you, like a best friend, but you always push me away. That's all I ever wanted."
"If you tell anyone, I'll destroy you…" she said, faintly smiling. "...But I always did feel like we were brother and sister. You were like the annoying little brother I never had."
Beast Boy grinned. "Well, I know secretly you're upset that you can't have chance at this sexy beast…" Raven reached out to smack him upside the head, but they were both smiling. He looked at her face closely. "I always wanted to make you smile."
"Looks like you succeeded. Beast Boy?"
"Yeah?"
"How did I get into Batman's cave?"
The green boy laughed. "You'll never believe who's Batman."
"Bruce Wayne."
His eye twitched. "How did you-?"
"He always seemed a little batty. I didn't have my communicator; how did you find me?"
"Cyborg's got us tracked down. Weird, isn't it? I told Robin you disappeared and we found you after a half an hour tops. You were in deep doo-doo when Slade appeared. I guess we didn't make it in time to help." Beast Boy looked forlornly at her bandaged wrist.
Raven said monotonously, never wavering, "I'm alive. That's a plus."
"Raven, why did you run out?"
She didn't answer him but stared straight ahead, looking past at him at the blank, white wall. He lowered his eyebrows frustrated. "Okay, that's two things you're keeping from me."
A beat passed and Beast Boy was surprised to hear her say, "Tell the others when we get home that I'll need a bit of time to myself before I can talk. I have something to tell everyone."
…..
A/N: I updated. Yeah…I'm glad to hear you guys thought the chapters were alright. Readers and reviewers make my birthday better. RaeRob4ever, Unforeseen, ray1, Chica De Los Ojos Café, HermioneGranger22491, evilsangle, Sango456, watergoddess08, and Freddy G are the best people EVA! lol. Thanks you guys.
RaeRob4ever: You noticed that too? Hm, well, I only made a little part with him in it. I don't think we'll be seeing Bruce anymore.
evilsangle: You make a valid point. My chapters tend to be…hard to understand or random at times. -shakes head- That's why I need a beta…
Sango456: I'd love to see that, wouldn't you? I could just imagine that. Flippin' awesome.
Watergoddess08: I am kick-ass 17, baby! I'm so excited to be one year closer to voting. ;) Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your aunt, is she ok? You don't have to rush to review, especially when other stuff happens.
Freddy G: Oh, there is enough RobRae in there for me. Enough to keep me going for a while. Heh.