He watched her from a short distance away. Dressed in simple khakis, a white blouse and sandals, sunglasses sat perched atop mass of blonde curls that blew freely in the spring breeze. On the outside she was pretty but it was plain to see the vibrant inner beauty that once radiated from her was long gone. She was a shell of a human being. Her laughs and smiles were contrived and short lived, her warmth and bubbliness no longer existed. She was a sad fraction of her former self.
"How is she?"
Nathan looked up at the person who had interrupted his train of thought.
"Okay, Coach", he sighed to Whitey. "If you can believe that. As bad as it looks, this is actually a good day."
"Poor thing has been through hell and back."
"I know. I'm surprised she even agreed to come today. Mom thought it was a good idea."
Whitey sighed.
"A little fresh air never hurt anybody", the old man noted as they looked out at the blue sea.
It was a Sunday morning and Nathan and Megan had joined his parents, grandparents and of course Coach Durham for a day of sailing on the Atlantic Ocean in Dan's prized boat, named The Daluna, an unusual title but taken from the first two letters of his and his sons' first names.
She had her good days and her bad days but they had been getting along better. Nathan was dealing with his own emotions of grief and guilt and somehow they were managing, taking life one day at a time. The road to complete recovery was still a long one yet they were holding on with all their might.
A few feet away, Dan and Royal laughed and joked while a slightly more subdued Deb and Mae sat quietly chatting. It was a nice day with great, warm weather and a picture perfect sky. They appeared to be a happy well to do family like many others, the pain of the recent past buried but still evident.
All the while, Nathan kept a careful eye on Megan. She stared out at the water and for a few minutes he was concerned she might jump in. But she didn't. Her feet didn't move and neither did her eyes. She just stood there, silent and focused.
Nathan sighed as he remembered the first time they had gone out on his father's boat. It was when they had first started seriously dating and Megan's parents had joined them along with Dan and Deb. Dan thrived in the chance to show off his latest expensive water toy to the Congressman and the two wives seemed to be getting along fabulously. Off in the corner, Megan and Nathan stood, arms around each other, giggling as she playfully warded off his advances as his hands were trying to creep up her shirt.
It had been a great day with two of North Carolina's most prominent families living it up and soaking up the sunshine. Then day had turned to night and it was time to bring the boat back in. But an unforecasted violent storm had come out of nowhere, fiercely rocking the boat and making it near impossible to dock. It made for an adventurous and downright scary few minutes but finally they made it to dry land.
What Nathan had remembered most was that Megan had never wavered. She must have been terrified but it never showed. She kept it together the entire time. That bravery and confidence, along with how freaking hot she looked when soaking wet, was a real turn on. He couldn't wait to get her alone and apparently, neither could she. They had barely made it to the downstairs bathroom where they were supposed to be drying off before locking the door and ripping each other's clothes off. In a heated moment of pure passion and lust, he had taken her right there on the sink with their parents just a few feet away in another room.
He smiled at the memory. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago…
"Heard anymore about basketball?" Whitey inquired.
Nathan shrugged.
"I'm out for this year. It's almost time for the playoffs anyway. We're holding out for next season. A lot of lawyers and agents and stuff are involved. I guess I'll hear something soon."
He looked away. He did miss basketball but that was the least of his worries. More pressing issues loomed. He cursed as he saw her reach in her pocket, then for a bottle of water.
"What's the matter?"
"Nothing", Nathan muttered. "I just hate when she has to take those…"
He was referring to the pills. A doctor had prescribed a legal and safe dosage of medication designed to help her sleep at night as well with the persistent bouts of depression. Still he hated it. It brought back so many other crazy memories.
"I know how you must feel, son, but it's different this time."
"How so, Coach?"
Whitey took a deep breath.
"She's not your mother. Megan's not addicted."
"For now. How long will it take? How long did it take Mom?"
"Apples and oranges, Nate. Two entirely different situations. I understand your apprehension but I think this is for the best and apparently so do the doctors. If it's helping her get better…"
"Is it? I mean, what is better? Look at her. Does she look okay to you? It doesn't make her better, it just keeps her from getting any worse", Nathan sighed.
Maybe sailing was a bad idea. He was beginning to regret agreeing to go. But he loved the water and he'd always had such fun on that boat. His father had bought it when he and Lucas were still in high school, back when he and Haley were dating. It would take months and a heart attack for Dan to finally warm up to his oldest son, thus resulting in the boat's name. But for the few months it went untitled, Haley had joined her boyfriend and his parents on board.
She had been so nervous. All she wanted was to make a good impression. She and Deb were already friends and she was really falling hard for Nathan. Of course she had heard all the Dan Scott horror stories and she had to admit the man was more than a little intimidating. So she had done everything in her power to ensure the event commenced without a hitch. Haley dressed the part. She was polite to the Scott. She listened with intent interest as Nathan showed her the ropes of operating such a boat. Everything was perfect, or as perfect could be. Then it happened…
Haley James had never been on a boat before. She had never been seasick before. And she had tried desperately to ignore the churning in her belly and the lightness in her head as the waters moved them around. But she could no longer take it. After two hours of being ill, the pretty auburn haired tutor lost her breakfast over the side of Dan's prized boat.
Deb, concerned, had comforted her while Dan looked on with annoyance and disdain. It took everything Nathan had not to laugh. He was sorry she was sick but she looked so cute, even when she threw up. That was when he knew he was falling for her, too.
He smiled at the memory. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago…
"Coach, I'm gonna go check on her…"
Whitey nodded.
"Do what you have to do."
"I'll be back."
"Hey, Nathan?"
"Yeah, Coach?"
"I know it's been hard for you. All of this. I know you made a lot of mistakes. You messed up but you're trying to get it back. I commend you for that. You're a good man."
"I don't feel like one."
"You've got a ways to go but you've come along way as well", Whitey winked.
Nathan nodded and managed a small smile. There was something slightly comforting and warm about the wise old basketball coach that always touched Nathan and managed to make him feel better.
"You okay?" Nathan asked his wife.
"Yeah…it's a pretty day to be on the water."
Nathan sighed.
"You sure? I thought this would be good for you…good for us. I hope it's okay. Because we can go home if you want. I just want you to be okay."
She turned and faced her husband. For the first time in a long time, he saw a real smile.
"I know you do and I appreciate it. It's not much but the little things like this…feeling the breeze in my hair and the sun on my skin, watching the water and the sky…it feels good. It matters. I mean, it makes me a little sad knowing Yoanna will never get to experience the beauty of the world but at the same time, I'm still here. So I guess we get to experience it for her."
"I never thought of it like that…"
"Thank you, Nathan."
"For what?"
She smiled as she leaned her head back against his chest.
"For trying."